Blind
by Mako Red Eyes
Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Iruka is left in Kakashi's care, despite a rather unpleasant past between the 2. Yaoi kakairu FINISHED Rated for occasional language
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** YAOI, Rated M for language, and future scenes.( **_If you don't know what YAOI means, turn around and run away now_**. I will not take flames from anyone who is disgusted by this. You've been warned. If you don't like it, go away. Otherwise, hopefully you'll enjoy.)

Slightly AU, Kakashi is set to take care of Iruka after a mission gone bad. Things go from bad to worse when he realizes he is freshly poisoned, almost entirely helpless, and in the care of a man whom the only conversation he'd ever had with was a shouting contest in front of half of Konoha's elite.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any characters, setting, or original plot to the anime series_ Naruto_. Apparently according to some law or another, I don't even own my own fanfiction. Therefore Masashi Kishimoto is now the owner of more boyXboy lovin' and possibly several pages worth of future smut that he probably does not want. Oops.

_**Blind**_

1

"Iruka Sensei!" A chorus of hushed protests were made to silence Naruto as he skidded into the recovery room, stopped not by the angry hisses of the various medical staff and his companion, but by the still form on the stretcher in the corner. Blue eyes opened wide, and Naruto's jaw dropped, a voiceless sound of dismay whispering past his lips. "Sens-" A wide hand on his shoulder startled Naruto. He glanced back at his companion then hurried over to his former Sensei's side.

Iruka lay still and quiet, breathing evenly as he slept, shrouded in white hospital blankets. /One mission…/ That was all it had taken. Naruto knew perfectly well that Iruka hadn't been on any missions in far too long…

"It isn't fair…" Naruto growled through grit teeth. Iruka was alive, would live but he shouldn't have been sent out in the first place. On the bed at Naruto's hip, Iruka shifted from his sleep, letting out a low groan, eyelids fluttering. "Iruka Sensei!" Naruto leapt foreword, instantly throwing his arms around the prone man's chest, hugging him fiercely, either ignoring or not noticing the mans' grunt of protest.

"Aah… N-Naruto!" Were Iruka's first words as he returned to the land of the waking. He felt like hell. His body ached and felt weak and shaky. He could feel the bright hospital lights pouring down over his aching eyelids and didn't dare open his eyes. He didn't need to look to know it was Naruto clinging to his sore chest. Naruto's body was yanked away from his quickly, and Iruka had to assume someone had physically pulled the boy from him. He didn't mind too much. His body hurt, and while Naruto's affections were sweet, they weren't making him feel all that swell at the moment.

"Iruka-Sensei!" Naruto yelled again. Iruka heard someone hiss at the volume of his voice.

"Shh!" The low warning sound wasn't enough for Iruka to judge the voice, though.

"Naruto…be gentle, please…" Iruka croaked.

"Are you okay, Iruka-Sensei?" Naruto asked, voice edgy but definitely quieter. "What happened…!" Iruka grunted tiredly.

"Uh… poisoned… feel like crap… 'll be fine though…just…sore…" Iruka lifted a tawny arm to cover his eyes. They hurt the most. He felt Naruto's boyishly small hand clasp his.

"Anou… Why won't you open your eyes, Iruka-Sensei?" Naruto asked softly. Iruka sighed.

"Eyes hurt. Don't want to." They'd been bandaged until that morning, and Iruka was certain there was a _reason_ for that, as well. He'd been told why…but at the moment, he just can't bring himself to remember…

"Iruka-Sensei…" Naruto whined. "Please…just look at me…? I'm worried…If it was poison…" Aah, to be young and ignorant of the horrors of the world again, Iruka mused. Well, if it would reassure the boy that he was indeed fine, then he could bear the pain of bright light in his eyes for a few moments. He turned, opening his eyes, but they wouldn't focus properly, and he blinked. He did open them, right? He knew he was facing Naruto, maybe even nearly nose to nose with the boy -he could feel Naruto's breath on his cheek, but he couldn't see him. Not his eyes, or that brilliant golden hair that could be seen for miles. Iruka couldn't _see_.

"A-ah!" Naruto lunged backwards with a frightened gasp, shaking the bed. Iruka blinked a few more times, eyes darting, but still they wouldn't focus on anything. "Aah! Iruka-S-sensei! Wh-what--!" Naruto sounded truly terrified, and Iruka instinctively clamped his eyes shut again, turning his face away, feeling the threat of tears in his throat.

"Don't react that way," Came a low voice somewhere near where Naruto had scrambled over to. Iruka couldn't see it, but the blond was staring at him with horror-filled eyes.

"What-What's wrong with his eyes?" Naruto choked. It was about that time that Iruka remembered, realized… He gasped softly, going cold, and opened his mouth to say something when Naruto was answered by that same low, calm voice.

"He's blind, Naruto."

"What!" Iruka could hear tears in Naruto's voice.

"It must have been the poison…" Iruka, having been listening despite his distress, nodded. "Naruto… He's still the same old Iruka-Sensei… you don't have to look like that. His eyes look strange because the cells have died in them…" The cool explanation both hurt and encouraged Iruka. He didn't want Naruto to be afraid of him. He'd seen people with blind eyes before, oddly out of focus, faded in color and milky. It was an unnerving sight. He felt his throat close. He didn't want to look that way…Didn't want other people to look at him the way he'd looked at others-trying to hide the mixed fear and fascination.

"Aah!" The flustered shriek startled Iruka, as well as Naruto and his companion. "What are you two doing here!"

"Tusnade-baba!" Naruto wailed. "Iruka-sensei's eyes are all messed up! How could you let that happen! FIX IT!" Iruka sighed sadly. Tsunade let out a frustrated sigh.

"Naruto-Kun, if there were some way of saving his eyesight I would have done so before it was ever a problem!" She barked. Iruka winced. "Now move it. I need to check on Iruka-kun, seems how you've woken him up." Tsunade stepped past Naruto, to stand over Iruka, still prone in bed. She reached out with uncharacteristic gentleness to touch his wrist. Iruka jumped, startled but the sudden touch but quickly relaxed and Tsunade's wise hands began to glide over him, checking his pulse, blood pressure, breathing. "I know you're uncomfortable, Iruka-kun, but I do need you to open your eyes again." She said, voice apologetic. Iruka frowned and screwed his eyes up tighter. Tsunade sighed. "Okay. One at a time or I'm going to peel them open myself, got it?" Iruka cracked one eye open. He tried to turn his gaze in her direction, but ended up staring blankly a few degrees past her right shoulder. Behind Tsunade, Naruto backed away a few steps. Iruka tried to relax as she examined his eye, focusing on the soft, sweet scent of her perfume instead. "Tell me…can you see anything?" She asked.

"All I see is white, Hokage-Sama." Iruka said, choking on bitter resentment. Tsunade raised an eyebrow.

"White?" She also smiled but Iruka saw none of this. He jumped again when she cupped a hand over his open eye.

"And now?"

"Black." Iruka answered, not entirely understanding why she sounded so pleased that all he could manage was the barest sensation of light and dark.

"Wonderful. Other eye, please, Iruka-kun." Iruka obeyed. "How about now?"

"White."

Iruka's two visitors huddled in a corner, listening and watching carefully. To an outsider, it was a bizarre scene. Tsunade covered Iruka's second eye with her hand.

"Now?"

"Black again."

"Excellent. It seems, Iruka, that you haven't completely lost your eyesight. I know it doesn't seem like much now, but you're still picking up on shades of light and dark. It doesn't help you now, but in the future, as you become accustomed to your condition, you may find you can see more than you thought you could." Iruka frowned.

"So there's nothing you can do?" He asked, voice hoarse. His head hurt.

"No. I can't fix your eyes, Iruka. I'm sorry. I have reason to believe, however, that with time and a little extra training, you could resume your life as a ninja and a teacher as soon as one year from now."

"What do you mean? They'll get better?"

"No. You'll be blind for the rest of your life, Iruka-kun. What I mean is you hold the mental and spiritual capacity to overcome this handicap in due time." Iruka sighed. Tsunade was truly smoothing over one of his greatest fears, but at the moment he wasn't feeling very hopeful. Unconsciously, he kept one eye open and staring blindly slightly off-center as Tsunade moved away.

"How?"

"The blind are often known-" Came a low, male voice from behind Tsunade, "to develop extraordinary senses of smell, taste…touch… Incredible hearing… even sometimes a strange sixth sense, in order to make up for their lack of sight. Ninjutsu can take you a long way into all of those categories." Tsunade nodded before realizing again that the gesture couldn't be seen.

"These will come naturally with time. For now at least, I imagine we'll have to entrust you into the care of another until you adjust. You certainly can't, nor likely want, to stay here in the hospital, am I right?"

"Well, I never really appreciated the décor but I can't see that anymore so it doesn't really matter." Iruka said dryly. He was trying to place that soft voice in the corner. He wondered if Naruto was still in the room. If he was, he was unnaturally quiet. Tsunade gave a small snort.

"Well, in any event, you get to go home today." She said. Iruka heard the shuffle of heeled shoes as Tsunade turned away form him. "Would you be able to watch after him? Help him adjust? I imagine you may have a few gifts of knowledge to impart on Iruka that could be of some help to him." Iruka's blind eyes darted as he tried to focus in on the second person in the room. He frowned.

"Where's Naruto?"

"I'm here." Naruto said, voice small. He was on the other side of the room from him, and it didn't seem like he was going to move.

"Hey, don't stand there like that." Said the man. Iruka was beginning to hone in on his voice now. A grunt and the shuffling of tangled feet and then steady steps brought Naruto to Iruka's bedside. Iruka reached out blindly, and Naruto's fingertips met his.

"I'm sorry I scared you, Naruto-kun." Iruka said softly. Naruto nodded, then remembered Iruka couldn't see him.

"It's okay…" He said, bending down to hug Iruka again, face buried into his collarbone firmly. "I'm sorry I wasn't braver." Iruka had to laugh just a little as he brought one hand up to thread his fingers through the boy's hair lovingly.

"I can't say I blame you, though. It can't be pretty." Iruka's voice cracked and both he and Naruto winced.

"Don't mourn for him, Naruto." Iruka mentally swallowed his surprise as he finally pegged the voice, now much closer to him. "Iruka-Sensei will be back to his old self in no time…"

"But Tsunade-Obaa-Chan said his eyes--"

"He'll overcome that, Naruto. Iruka-San here is a lot stronger than he lets everyone believe." Iruka frowned. The last time he'd spoken to Kakashi, it had been before the last Chuunin Exam, and the elite certainly hadn't been complimenting his strength _then_.

"Are you my so-called caretaker then, Kakashi-San?" Iruka said, voice tinged with ice. There was a long pause.

"Yes." Kakashi said quietly.

"Hokage-Sama?" Iruka asked.

"I'm still here, Iruka." Tsunade answered.

"Is there no other?" He asked. Naruto, still sprawled with his face against Iruka's chest, sat up, shocked. "Someone I _know_? Who knows me?" Iruka added to try and soften the question. _Someone who doesn't hate me?_ He added mentally, but was careful not to say it. Not with Naruto there.

"Iruka Sensei!" Naruto grabbed one of his hands.

"I have my reasons, Iruka." Tsunade said firmly.

"I assure you, Iruka-san, that I will not let you just rot in a corner, if that's what concerns you." Kakashi said flatly. Iruka nodded but said no more. He was tired, he was hurting, he was honestly scared out of his wits, and now he was left in the hands of someone he was variably certain hated him.

Kakashi moved into the silence, and gave Naruto's shoulder a tap. Iruka could feel the reverberations of the touch through the boy's body into his.

"Come on, Naruto. Out you go." Naruto pulled away from Iruka's body reluctantly, keeping a hand clasped around one of his. "He's going to be okay now, Naruto." Kakashi went on softly. "You don't have to worry about him. For now, I need to get him home and settled…"

"You can come visit me tomorrow, Naruto…" Iruka added softly.

"O-okay…" Naruto's exit could be heard by the soft footsteps and creak of the door before it shut quietly. Iruka sighed heavily.

"Do you even know where I live?" Iruka asked Kakashi after a moment. The Jounin smiled, but the sharp crescent of his eye went unseen.

"Yes, I do actually. Thank Naruto." Kakashi said cheerily. Iruka grunted.

"Then maybe you could go and get him some fresh clothes." Tsunade said. "The ones he came in are no longer wearable." Iruka blushed despite himself. That's the one thing he _truly_ hated about coming into the hospital after a mission.

They always take your clothes away.

"Ma…we'll let Iruka choose his own clothes."

"I'm not going home naked, Kakashi!" Iruka sat up indignantly, but instantly regretted it, sinking weakly back onto the bed. Concern crossed Kakashi's face.

"Your system is still fried." He observed.

"Yeah…" Iruka turned his head uselessly away from Kakashi. He gasped sharply, jumping as Kakashi's hands tucked up under his shoulder suddenly. The man moved silently, and all the abrupt touches were really beginning to bother Iruka.

"Relax." Kakashi said softly as he sat Iruka up, supporting him with one hand, and working at the sheets with the other. Not fully understanding, Iruka hissed, clutching the sheets around his hips.

"What-?"

"I'm trying to wrap you up, Iruka, not expose you. Relax." Kakashi repeated. Iruka tried to relax, but couldn't really muster it. He managed to stop fighting the other man though. Iruka felt himself being cocooned in hospital sheets by careful hands, and then easily hoisted clean out of the bed. He yelped, arms flailing until they landed on either of Kakashi's shoulders. Kakashi held him easily, giving a small snort right into Iruka's ear. He jumped again. "You sure are jumpy…" He observed. Iruka sobered, going still and frowning. His eyes had opened in his struggles, but he hadn't noticed yet. They were staring fixedly at about Kakashi's left ear.

"I can't tell what's going on, Kakashi…" Iruka said plaintively. His hands were fisting unconsciously into Kakashi's vest.

"I know. I know. I'm sorry." Kakashi said. "I'm taking you home now. Don't worry." Iruka nodded into Kakashi's shoulder, noting how the man's hands shifted under his back for a moment. There was a pop, a whirl of air, and suddenly the hospital smells and sounds were gone, replaced by fresher, cooler air. "We're outside your apartment… Number two-two-seven, right?" Kakashi said. Iruka nodded.

"Yeah. Should be unlocked…" Kakashi might have nodded, Iruka wasn't entirely sure, but he heard the familiar click of his front door as Kakashi moved again.

The air inside of Iruka's apartment was warm and a little stale smelling, but it was definitely home, and Iruka relaxed considerably. Kakashi didn't put him down, but kept moving carefully through his home, finally pausing. The familiar scent of home grew stronger and Iruka squirmed in Kakashi's grip.

"This is my room…" He said softly.

"You could tell?" Kakashi asked, not quite letting Iruka down from his grip yet.

"By the smell." Iruka confirmed.

"Good." Kakashi said, sounding almost, it seemed, like a proud father. He moved a little further into the room, and paused again. "I'm going to put you down on your bed for a moment to find you some clothes…" Kakashi informed. "Listen to me. I won't mask my presence at all around you, but I'm not going to be excessively noisy, either." Iruka nodded, but was only half-listening to him at the moment. He was tired, even from the short trip home. His life had taken an incredibly wretched turn in less than an hour, and he was feeling worse for wear. Kakashi could see the fatigue in the way Iruka sat, upright but hunched, eyes half open and hazy, even in their blindness.

Deciding he'd better just hurry up and make his ward comfortable, Kakashi stood, at a loss for a moment. On one side of the room, resided what was obviously a closet, and on the complete opposite side, a large dresser. He wasn't sure which to go to in order to find clothes. He had a closet, a couple of bookshelves, a nightstand, and a bed. End of story. This complex stuff was a little confusing. Making a decision, he headed towards the closet.

"Wrong way." Iruka said flatly. Kakashi stopped mid-step, turning to look at the dark-haired man, sitting cross-legged on the bed with the hospital sheets still bunched around his hips. Iruka had his eyes consciously closed again, and was facing Kakashi, but held his right arm out, pointing directly away form Kakashi, towards the dresser. He grinned widely under his mask at Iruka before changing directions. Iruka dropped his arm. "Just a pair of sweatpants from the second drawer…" Iruka said softly. "..please." He sputtered in distress a few moments later when Kakashi tossed the softest pair of sweats he could find straight at Iruka. They landed with a soft _thumph _over his head, startling him quite badly. He jumped considerably, arms flailing, a strained noise of dismay slipping from parted lips. "A-ah!" Belatedly, Kakashi realized that probably wasn't the nicest thing to do, and felt rather sorry. "Why'd you do that!" Iruka demanded, sounding hurt. Kakashi winced.

"Sorry. Forgot." He muttered.

"_How_ could you forget!"

"I'm sorry!" Kakashi repeated, louder, feeling defensive after being snapped at.

"Well, get your sorry self out of my room so I can get dressed in privacy, then!" Iruka was already struggling to crawl to his feet, and keep the blankets wrapped around his waist, and hold onto the sweat pants at the same time. He did fine with that, but as soon as he reached the full upright position, he swayed dangerously, trembling. He rocked on his heels, and failed to regain his balance, and was going down.

Kakashi was with him in a heart beat, scooping his arms around Iruka's middle, supporting the slightly smaller man from behind. Iruka flinched at the touch.

"Easy there…" Kakashi said softly, taking the sweatpants from Iruka's grip and letting him focus on just holding the sheet up. Iruka tried to squirm out of his grip, gasping slightly, but Kakashi held on. "No…Look… I know you're embarrassed, and I know you're pissed at me, but you're also freshly _poisoned_ and it won't go over well with the Hokage if I let you turf it in the first ten minutes I'm with you…" Kakashi said softly. Iruka stiffened against him, still struggling, a soft growl escaping his throat.

"I'm _fine_."

"You're looking paler than a ghost, Iruka." Kakashi observed.

"Well, I wouldn't know that, now would I?" Iruka demanded bitterly, waving a hand in front of his own eyes.

"That's why I'm telling you. Now let me help you."

"You just want a few easy kicks, you perverted prick." Iruka growled when Kakashi tried to take the sheet away. Kakashi was sincerely shocked.

"What!"

"Don't think I don't know how you are. I know you think I'd assume I'm safe because we're both men, but I know better." Iruka hissed, tugging away from Kakashi, successfully staggering a few feet out of his reach.

"What the hell?" Kakashi spat. "I don't know what you're thinking, but I can assure you I would get no such kicks from molesting a convalescent, which you still _are_ even if you are out of the hospital." Iruka managed to glare right at him, probably from practice. Kakashi threw up his hands in a useless gesture of surrender. "Fine! Whatever!" He threw the pants back at Iruka, who managed to sort of half-catch them after they'd struck him in the chest. "You wobble around all you want. I'll be waiting in the hallway." He said, already turned away from the Chuunin and heading for the door. He made sure that Iruka would be able to hear his foot falls, as well as the bedroom door slamming shut.

Stunned, pissed off, and feeling like crap inside and out, Iruka gave a irritated snort as he finally dropped the sheets, and began fumbling by brail to find the waistband of what he suspected might be his favorite pair of sweats. It took a moment, but he finally got them to rights, found the front side, and did his best to steady himself long enough to get one leg off the floor and into the pants.

The second his left foot rose from the floor, Iruka pitched backwards and crashed to the floor with a loud thud and a pained yelp. Lying on the floor, alone in his own darkness, Iruka had the presence of mind to reflect that he was lucky he didn't hit his head on anything other than the carpeted floor itself. He had, however, lost track of his sweats in the process. Sitting up shakily, he tried to cast about to find them, but almost immediately was overtaken by a wave of dizziness, and had to sink back onto his back again, panting.

Sprawled naked on the floor, blind and weaker than he'd thought, Iruka scrubbed angrily at his face with both hands before resigning himself to his fate.

"…Kakashi?" He didn't think he'd said the name loud enough for the man to hear through the door, but then again, Kakashi had likely been alerted to Iruka's problem by the sound of his body hitting the floor a few minutes earlier. Either way, the sound of his bedroom door clicking at the latch, then brushing over the soft carpet signaled Kakashi's presence. Iruka braced himself for some smart-assed quip about the situation, but Kakashi didn't say a word as he walked over to Iruka's side, kneeling by his shoulder and carefully propping him into a sitting position. Iruka felt one of Kakashi's knees press gently between his shoulder blades, supporting him, and heard the slight shuffling of fabric as he grabbed the troublesome sweats.

"Pull your knees up." Kakashi instructed softly. Iruka obeyed without a word, and he felt the brush of warm, fuzzy cotton slide under the soles of his feet, then upwards to envelope his legs. Kakashi did his best to be as inoffensive as possible as he helped Iruka into his clothes, not objecting when Iruka's hands brushed his away from the elastic waistband when it passed his knees. He instead put more attention to supporting the other man while Iruka pulled the pants on the rest of the way. Even that little effort was exhausting, forcing Iruka to sag against Kakashi's supporting hands. Kakashi sighed. "Do you need a shirt?" He asked.

"No," Iruka answered, equally subdued. "I just want to go to bed…" Kakashi nodded, then remembered that it was another useless gesture with Iruka.

"Alright. I'm going to let you sleep for a while, but then I'm waking you up for food…" A small pause. "Ah…any requests?" Iruka's head swiveled around to face Kakashi, but his eyes remained closed.

"Huh?" Kakashi gave a small, wry snort as he shifted his weight onto his heels so he could scoop Iruka up off the floor and carry him the short distance to the bed. Iruka didn't make a fuss over being carried this time.

"What do you want for dinner?" Kakashi repeated, helping Iruka find his way under the covers.

"Aspirin." Iruka answered dryly. "My head hurts. A lot."

"Yeaah…that may be the case for a while…" Kakashi lamented softly. "Anyway, besides that, what do you want?" Iruka shrugged. He realized somewhere in the back of his mind that Kakashi sounded as if he were trying to make up, but was too tired and cranky to accept that notion.

"Just…food. I don't care." Iruka said despondently. Kakashi sighed again.

"Alright. Well, rest up-" He tucked the covers around Iruka a little more firmly for emphasis. "-and I'll get you some aspirin. Once you're asleep, I'm going to go out for a little bit, but I won't be gone long, so sit tight if you wake up and I'm not here, okay?" Iruka nodded again, already sinking under the covers. He turned away from Kakashi, letting himself relax into pre-sleep haziness. Just before passing out completely from exhaustion, Iruka wondered at the brief brush of Kakashi's hand over his shoulder as the Jounin stood to leave.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Whoo. Haven't posted a fic in a while...I have a lot to say, too. (heh, sorry)

1: This fic, if you haven't already noticed, is a little heavier than a lot of the smushy mushy stuff I write (though I still stand strong when I say there is NOTHING wrong with fluff ).

2: This one is important: I am not blind myself, nor do I know anyone who is blind, so, if anyone out there is the wiser, and I get something wrong, for some reason, or I insult someone, or whatever, please tell me. Just do it nicely. This _is_ fiction. I'm a nice person who likes other nice people, so please don't go anal retentive on me. That said, the REASON I've chosen to write this fic, is a shift of focus. I had someone point out to me not too long ago that of all the five/six senses that the average person posesses, I focused almost exclusively on sight, smell and touch. I'm hoping, in taking one of these senses away from my arsenal, I can focus more on some of the aspects of the world that I normally would, primarily sound. I'm quite intentionally avoiding visual discrptions and using sound or smells or touch in it's place whenever the focus of the story is on Iruka. (which is most of the time) So, that in mind, constructive critism/ advice is more than welcome in this category as well. :)

3. I think I mentioned this briefly in the summary, but this fic is SLIGHTLY AU... I've seen the anime up to episode 146, read the manga up to ch. 269 and I _know_ there are a few things I'm sort of ignoring coughSasukecough (shrugs) Artistic license.

4.For those of you who like it a little weird (minor shota)_and_ YAOI, I have a NarutoxIruka fanfic that I am posting only on my deviantart page (if you go to my profile page, you can link to my devart page through my website link) and find it there. That fic is my baby and I'm very proud of it, go read it and review, please:)


	2. Chapter 2

_**Blind**_

2

Outside of Iruka's apartment, Kakashi paused to wipe a tired hand over his face and groan.

_You fucking moron…_ Heaving a sigh, he glanced back at the door behind him apologetically. Mission 'Prove to Iruka-Sensei You Don't Hate Him' hadn't gone very well, in the Copy Nin's opinion. Scrubbing at his face again, he decided he'd better just hurry his ass up and get his chores done. Decided, Kakashi vanished with a pop and a cloud of smoke, appearing again across town just outside of the Hokage's Office.

This badly startled the two masked ANBU guards standing on either side of the large hardwood doors, and both dropped into defensive postures, kunai drawn. Then immediately dropped their hostile intentions when they recognized Kakashi.

"Damnit, Hatake! Can't you walk through the fucking front door like a normal person!" One of the two masked nin asked roughly. Kakashi smiled serenely. He hadn't been involved in ANBU operations for a long time, but he was still known and respected as the Hound among the elite troops. "You fucking scared the shit out of us!" The Ferret continued. He and Kakashi were once drinking buddies. Opposite Ferret, a young man in a hawk's mask made an appropriately flustered squawk.

"Y-You shouldn't talk to Hatake-Sama t-that way!" Kakashi smirked.

"Since when was I normal?" He asked Ferret, who in turn laughed. Hawk was still making small, panicked gestures with his hands. Kakashi turned to him. "How old are you, kid?" Hawk squawked again, head turning to look in alarm -even with the mask covering his features- towards Ferret.

"Not old enough to drink yet, if that's what you're asking," Ferret answered. Kakashi laughed.

"Well, screw that then…I guess it'll have to wait a few years then." He stepped casually towards the door. "I'm assuming the Old Lady's around, then?" He asked loosely. Hawk again made some half-choked, partially protesting sound of dismay. It went ignored.

"Yeah.. 'S been a pretty quiet day, actually." Ferret informed, giving the wooden door a thump with his gloved knuckles before pushing it open for Kakashi. As Kakashi slipped past him, he added in an undertone, "_Please_ don't piss her off this time--!" Kakashi laughed and stepped in.

Tsunade looked up from her desk, and quirked an eyebrow.

"Terrorizing my guards again, are you?" She asked dryly. Kakashi snorted.

"Just one of them." He answered easily. Tsunade rolled her eyes.

"Well, if remember myself correctly, there's someone you're supposed to be looking after. Give up so soon? It hasn't been half a day yet." Tsunade said, fixing Kakashi with a piercing look.

"Not giving up, Hokage Sama. Just seeking advice." Kakashi answered in a sober tone Tsunade had not expected.

"Go on."

"He's weaker than he looked… and in pain. I was wondering if you had any suggestions for ways I might make him more comfortable…" Something like amusement flashed through Tsunade's eyes, but Kakashi didn't catch it.

"Just give him whatever household painkiller you can come up with, and just make sure he eats healthy foods for a few days… high protein stuff." A pause. "Meaning more than ramen or take out." She added, fixing Kakashi a look. The man could epitomize bachelor life at times, she knew. She was again surprised at Kakashi's seriousness in the matter. Usually, if she told him no junk food, he would whine like a ten-year-old. Now, he only nodded sagely.

"Makes sense. Thank you." He bowed and turned to leave.

"How are you getting along?" Tsunade asked. Kakashi stiffened, stopping in his tracks.

"Um… better than I expected, but not as well as one could hope."

"You've gotten into a fight?"

"More of an argument. He's worried about his pride, and apparently his purity as well, because he didn't want me to help him get dressed when he could hardly stand." Kakashi said, his back still to Tsunade. "It was something of a fiasco. He's sleeping now."

"I'd wondered about that…" Tsunade murmured, then added more clearly. "Well, I still stand by my decision that you're the right man for the job. Thank you, Kakashi." Kakashi nodded stiffly, and disappeared from the room, not bothering with the door.

---------

Staggering back to Iruka's home with several bags of groceries, Kakashi mentally checked the apartment number again.

_Apartment 227...Door number…227...good_ He was a little worn out from the struggle back, and had to jockey the half dozen bags between his hips, knees, chin and one arm in order to get the door open. Stumbling inside, he used his rear to push the door closed, as his hands were occupied and he didn't want to just kick it shut. He suddenly understood why all those women he'd seen doing the same thing with their children always looked so harried. Dumping the bags on Iruka's kitchen counter with a sigh of relief, Kakashi shook his tired arms out as he walked back towards Iruka's room. Using every bit of stealth he had, Kakashi cracked the door open, and peeked in. Iruka was rolled onto his side, facing the door. His eyes were shut, his breathing low and even. He was clinging sweetly to a stray pillow, hugging it firmly in his sleep. Not making a sound, Kakashi slipped back out of the room shutting the door behind him.

---------

Another hour had passed with Kakashi just finishing up with his cooking endeavor, and now cleaning up after himself - no one seemed to suspect he could be both responsible /and/ tidy when he so desired- when his homemaking was interrupted by a sharp cry in the otherwise silent apartment, coming from the back room.

Kakashi was down the hall in an instant, and stepping into Iruka's bedroom in time to see the Chuunin toss once more in his sleep, then sit bolt upright with a scream.

Iruka had just awoken from the first of many nightmares to come. Mentally, he was still lost in the foggy horror his brain had created, and all he knew was that even though the pressing, gripping, pulling hands, the feeling of blood between his fingers and on his face, the prickling, piercing sensations he was too terrified of to try and identify were all gone, he still couldn't see. His sudden blindness had prevailed even in his dreams, which was exactly what had made them so terrifying.

Now awake, terrified and confused, he stared blindly into his own world of darkness, gasping, eyes darting. He was not yet fully conscious enough to remember that there was a reason he was engulfed in darkness, and so he panicked.

Perhaps most terrifying of all for Iruka, was the sudden touch of yet _another_ hand, hot and huge, right over his face.

"Iruka!" Kakashi could easily guess what was terrifying Iruka so badly, given his body language and his current physical state. He slapped his hand over Iruka's unseeing eyes, covering them fully. "It's okay! You're safe! Wake up!" Kakashi knew perfectly well about waking up, terrorized and disoriented. Iruka shuddered under his hands, calming down.

"Why--" Iruka began through ragged breaths. "--Are you covering my eyes..!"

"I'll tell you when you're awake enough to remember for yourself." Kakashi said firmly. "Relax. You're safe, that's all that matters right now." Iruka still squirmed against his palm, and Kakashi planted his free hand over the middle of his back. "Breathe, Iruka." He said in a low voice, pushing on Iruka's back and forcing him to arch back slightly, making it harder for him to hyperventilate or hold his breath. Iruka took a few deep breaths, going quiet. After a short silence, one shaking hand came up near his face. Slender brown fingers wrapped themselves weakly around Kakashi's considerably paler wrist.

"It's alright, Kakashi-san… I remember…" Iruka said quietly. Kakashi seemed to be reluctant to take his hand away, but eventually his hand slipped from both Iruka's face and grip, his presence fading back a short distance into Iruka's peripherals.

"Nightmare?" Kakashi asked quietly. Iruka nodded.

"It was awful…I'm sorry if I disturbed you…" Iruka said. "God…this is embarrassing…" He added, referring to his disorientation upon waking from his bad dream.

"Don't be embarrassed, Iruka-Sensei." Kakashi said firmly. "None of this can be helped. It's just one of many adjustments you're being forced to make all at once. Don't worry about any of it, alright?"

Iruka remained silent, and Kakashi patted his shoulder lightly.

"Can you get up? I made you dinner…" Kakashi said. "You're probably sick of meals in bed…" Iruka nodded, and with some effort managed to untangle himself from his scattered sheets and stand. He was far stronger after a few hours rest, and still working off of the adrenaline of his nightmare and he was confident in moving. However, as he finally rose to his full height, he froze, swaying.

"I never thought it would be hard just to stand…without any orientation…" He murmured, hands subconsciously going out both for balance, and in search of some sort of anchor. Again, Kakashi's hand sought Iruka's shoulder.

"I'm right here. Don't worry, I won't let you crash into anything…" Iruka, albeit grudgingly, found Kakashi's arm, and tried not to cling as he was guided out of his room, down the hall and into his humble little kitchen. He paused, stopping Kakashi with him.

"Wow…it smells amazing…You couldn't have possibly cooked this…?" Kakashi chuckled.

"Yep. I'm smarter than I look, you know." Kakashi said, voice almost gentle. "That and with your eyesight gone, you're probably more sensitive to smells. It'll probably smell great but taste awful, knowing my luck…" Kakashi laughed softly. "Come on."

Kakashi steered Iruka through the kitchen into the even smaller dining area, sitting him down carefully at the table.

"Sit tight for a minute…" Kakashi instructed. Iruka listened intently as he moved back through the kitchen, moving dishes, clanking pots, opening the fridge a few times, and the rattle of the rarely-used western-style silverware. "You're not going to like this, Iruka, but--" Kakashi began, making Iruka instinctively frown. "I'm not going to let you try and eat by yourself tonight. Just let me get some real food in you tonight, and you can try eating on your own whenever you feel up to it afterwards, but this first day is so crucial… I didn't expect you to be this shaky, if you were being sent home, and I'm a little worried…" Kakashi explained, sounding both slightly motherly and embarrassed at the same time.

"Kakashi--" Iruka began, a little irritated.

"_Please_. I'm not doing this to make you feel weak or stupid or anything else, I'm doing this because it's my job to look after you, and because honestly, I'm a little worried for you, alright?" Kakashi said, tone more serious than Iruka had ever heard it. He was also right by Iruka's side now. The smell of warm, rich food was also very strong and close, and Iruka felt his stomach growl. A little taken aback by Kakashi's confessed concern, he relaxed, consenting.

"Alright… Just don't-" Iruka cut off. …Don't what?

"I won't do anything corny, I promise." Kakashi said, voice still that same low, serious tone. Iruka frowned.

"Who are you and what have you done with Kakashi-san?" He said flatly. Kakashi laughed at this, even as he brushed Iruka's shoulder again, in what was becoming his signal for impending interaction with him.

"Believe it or not, it's just me." He said good humouredly. "Ready? Open up." Iruka obeyed silently, feeling more than a little stupid at the thought of just sitting there in his seat, waiting for Kakashi to feed him, but the gentle press of a food-laden fork came surprisingly fast. Iruka took the food without a fuss, resigned to his fate, but smiled after the first bite.

"Oh thank heaven, no more injected nutrients or steamed cardboard…" He said softly. Kakashi's low chuckle was the only reply he got.

Iruka and Kakashi quickly built up a silent system of coordination as one was fed by the other, and not much except Kakashi's surprisingly good cooking passed between them. The apartment was silent except for the occasional scrape of metal against porcelain, the ticking of a clock in the next room, and the click of the oven as it cooled. Kakashi was almost holding his breath in the silence as he fed Iruka.

It was a disturbing chore for Kakashi. Iruka had always been such a bright, sunny person, and now he was nothing but bitter silence, even in his cooperation. Kakashi understood that they'd started off on bad terms, and that part of this bitterness he sensed in Iruka was his fault. More prominent, though, was resignation. He'd expected to have another war when he'd proposed helping Iruka, but none had come. As the elements went, Iruka was all earth and fire, brilliant and unchanging. Kakashi didn't want to see that flame fade to embers. When Iruka had assumed that Kakashi hated him, he had never been more wrong in his life.

"You cleaned your plate off…Do you want more?" Kakashi asked, passing a glass of juice into Iruka's hands. The academy sensei shook his head in negation.

"No, I'm fine, thanks." Iruka said softly. His head was sort of sagging, eyes averted and down towards his feet under the table, but they were still open. Their haziness didn't bother Kakashi too much, but he knew that Iruka was self conscious.

"Your eyes are open." Kakashi pointed out gently. Iruka gasped and clamped them shut.

"Damn it… I can't… ever tell…" He said, voice tight with frustration.

"I know. Don't beat yourself up over it, alright?"

"But they must be hideous." Iruka said sullenly.

"They're not that bad." Kakashi said honestly. "Just different."

"Really…?" Iruka said, sounding unconvinced. "It still bothers me…I can't even tell when they're open until I consciously make sure they're closed again…"

"Sure… That must be a weird thing to experience." Kakashi agreed.

"You may not be bothered by it, but not everyone's going to take it so well…You…You saw how Naruto--"

"I know… Here," Kakashi said. Iruka listened as he shifted, still sitting in close proximity. "Let's see what we can do with this…" Iruka forced back a gasp at the sensation of warm fabric brushing his cheek, turning to face Kakashi fully. "No, turn your head the other way," Kakashi instructed. Iruka did so, still confused but reasoning that Kakashi must have something in mind. He felt the familiar pressure of metal and fabric against his forehead as Kakashi tied his own hitai-ate up behind Iruka's ears. Left eye clamped shut against the normality of the situation, Kakashi held Iruka still as he tugged the headband down low over Iruka's eyes. Iruka sat back slightly, a little surprised, and quite aware that it wasn't his own forehead protector being tied around his eyes.

"Don't you need this, Kakashi-san?"

"Naah. I can get another one in a little bit. Jus' gotta keep one eye closed instead of covered, is all." Iruka thought on that. It sounded so close to his own situation. He'd never considered how Kakashi was practically blind in one eye unless he was in battle. The implanted Sharingan Eye for which he was so famous wasn't natural to Kakashi's bloodline, and therefore didn't recede into his system when not in use. It being active was an incredible chakara consumer, and would likely suck the life out of him if it were left exposed. "No…let's see…" Kakashi muttered thoughtfully to himself, holding Iruka's head lightly as he shifted the headband slightly askew. "Hmm… Just…" One more light torque of the headband, and the metal leaf-stamped plate was sitting more over Iruka's right temple and ear, the softer fabric covering his eyes. It was far more comfortable, Iruka noted. "Now you don't look like you were just the victim of another of Naruto's pranks." Kakashi observed. "How's it feel like that?"

"Um…Fine." Iruka said, reaching up with one hand to explore the situation by brail. The dark cloth band was thin enough in width that his eyebrows and cheekbones lay exposed, but his sightless, foggy eyes were hidden securely. He reached up, brushing the inlaid leaf pattern on the plate. The cloth smelt faintly of Kakashi. "I…don't look like a total idiot this way?"

"Not at all." Kakashi said, then chuckled when Iruka began fidgeting with the headband slightly. "It didn't look too hot with the Konoha leaf centered between your eyebrows, though. Leave it askew. Trust me." Iruka dropped his hand with a grunt. Kakashi chuckled once more, and audibly rose from his seat, the wooden stool he'd been perched on creaking and then scraping against the tiled floor lightly. He took the empty plate from the table, crossing into the kitchen again. Iruka managed to find his unfinished juice easily enough by brail, and sipped at it cautiously. He had to school himself not to do anything too quickly until he got used to his black world. Kakashi's hitai-ate slipped over his nose a little, and he reached back, putting the cup down, to tighten the knot. Kakashi had been so careful to be gentle that he'd tied the headband rather loosely.

Kakashi watched Iruka cinch the knot down on the blue headband from across the room, smiling bemusedly to himself. It was a rather unique position Kakashi had been put in, being able to stand back and watch Iruka without the other man knowing he was being watched. He had been relieved to see Iruka search out the glass on his own, and then further fuss with himself a little. Now he was tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. His hair had been left down out of it's usual pony tail, and hung in a ebony curtain around Iruka's face. Now that the headband was present, Iruka's bangs were being pressed firmly against his cheekbones, making the man suddenly aware of them. He didn't bother trying to find something to tie the hair back with, but he used the positioning of the now tighter hitai-ate to hold it in a more acceptable position. Finally settled with himself, Iruka went back and drained the last of his juice. Finishing the last drop off, Kakashi watched as he shook the glass in his hand slightly, confirming its emptiness, then frowned.

"Want some more?" Kakashi said from across the kitchen. Iruka jumped a little, startled by what was nearly a blatant confession of being watched. Kakashi grinned.

"Um, sure." Iruka said. Kakashi swept across the small room, took the glass and refilled it instantly, handing it back to Iruka, who took a long sip. "Aren't you going to eat yourself?" Iruka asked. Kakashi blinked, realized he'd been waiting for a chance to eat alone, where he could lower his mask without being seen.

_You moron._ Inner Kakashi commented wryly.

"Ah… Yea. Getting there. I thought I'd get you settled first." Kakashi said awkwardly, bustling about and quickly pulling up a seat near Iruka again. He wasn't sure what part of being physically blindfolded had re-wired Iruka's system, but the other man was sitting more confidently in his seat, head held erect, back straight. He turned to face Kakashi when he set his plate down with a soft clank. Kakashi didn't notice. He had pulled his mask off and was staring between it and Iruka bemusedly. _This is an interesting new twist on life._ Stuffing the mask in a pocket, he still ate quickly, but reveled in the comfort of being so relaxed.

"When you're done…" Iruka began quietly. "On the top shelf of the right most cabinet over the stove, behind the cereal, is a box of chocolates…" He smiled slightly. "Given that I'd probably kill myself trying to get them at the moment, I'll cut a deal and share them with you if you go and dig them out…?" Kakashi grinned openly, finishing off the last bite of his dinner and clearing his dishes as he went back in search of the aforementioned chocolates. Kakashi wasn't a huge chocolate fanatic, but he wasn't about to turn down the offer, either.

It was just like Iruka, he mused, to keep chocolate hidden somewhere in the house.

"Chocolate addict, are we?" Kakashi asked, flopping the box down in front of Iruka at the table. Richly tanned hands dove for the box, practically tearing it open. At this, Kakashi laughed and let Iruka manage the box on his own. Iruka snorted.

"This coming from the nymphomaniac who walks around all the time with porn novels in his back pocket…" Iruka said, smirking around his first bite of chocolate. "Yea…this fixes a bad day…" He added mostly to himself. Kakashi threw his hands up.

"Hey! I never said it was a bad thing! Crikey…" Iruka just shrugged, and nudged the box in Kakashi's direction just a little.

"Well, addict or not, you'd better get some quick…" He said flatly. Kakashi arched an eyebrow at the brunette across the table from him, staring. Iruka planned to clean the whole box out in one go?

"You can't possibly eat that whole box in one sitting." Kakashi commented.

"Can. Have before. Will do again." Iruka said flatly, pointing a smirk in Kakashi's general direction. Kakashi took out a single piece and popped it in his mouth. While chewing he asked,

"But what if I just take it away right now and hide it from you?"

"I'll find it." Iruka said confidently.

"What if I take it away and eat it all?" Kakashi pressed, amused by Iruka's reactions.

"I'll kill you." Iruka said just as casually. Kakashi laughed.

"You're worse than Sakura!" Iruka smiled again, more serenely this time.

"Probably." Iruka shrugged and plucked up another chocolate. Apparently this was one of those things he'd done so much, he didn't even have to think about where he had to maneuver his hand, to find the next morsel of chocolaty goodness. Kakashi laughed, sitting back and allowing himself a rather lengthy yawn, clamping his eye shut and stretching as he did so. He opened his eyes in time to see Iruka's nose twitch before he too yawned. "No fair.." Iruka protested softly around the yawn. Kakashi smiled, then blinked, realizing belatedly he was watching every one of Iruka's movements in super slow-motion. He made it a point of clamping his left eye shut again.

"Eh… Iruka, I'm going to pop back to my apartment for a moment…I gotta cover this thing up…" He said, referring loosely to his eye. Iruka stopped in his admirable progress in devouring his box of chocolates.

"Huh? Oh, your eye?"

"Yea. Not so used to consciously keeping that eye shut…" Kakashi said.

"Wait," Iruka said, using the table for some support as he stood. "I have mine, you can have this one back…" He said, preparing to untie Kakashi's hitai-ate from around his eyes.

"Keep that one." Kakashi said, and vanished with an audible pop. Iruka sat back down, quite aware of Kakashi's departure, and a little baffled about his insistence that he keep Kakashi's headband.

_He didn't have to go home for a new one, that's for sure_… Iruka mused, then yawned again. Frowning, he pushed his empty glass and the half-finished box of chocolates away from him and carefully rested his head in his folded arms in the space cleared. Heaving a sigh, he let himself relax a little in Kakashi's absence.

---------

It was only a few minutes later that Kakashi returned, new hitai-ate freshly tilted at a jaunty angle over his left eye, as well as some fresh clothes tucked under one arm, to find Iruka asleep at the kitchen table. Smiling gently, he gave Iruka's shoulder a light shake.

"Wake up, sleepy. You'll hate yourself later if you fall asleep in that position." Iruka jolted awake, instinctively turning to look at Kakashi, and then frowning when he remembered belatedly he was not only blindfolded, but quite literally blind.

"Damnit." He muttered softly shaking his head. "How long were you gone…?" He asked.

"Not long. Now come on, if you're going to sleep, do it in a bed where you won't hurt yourself in the process." Iruka nodded, and lurched to his feet, catching Kakashi by the arm as he did so.

"Alright. Lead the way." Iruka said flatly still, perhaps, partially asleep and a little grumpy at being woke up. Kakashi led the way patiently, as far as Iruka's room, then let his charge find his own way to the bed. Iruka, however, had made a bee-line to the adjacent washroom, and shut Kakashi out before he could follow.

Iruka apparently managed just fine on his own, because Kakashi heard no sounds of distress, except for one irritated grunt and a dull thwack as something was knocked from a shelf to the floor. Whether or not Iruka had attempted, or succeeded, in retrieving the fallen object, Kakashi couldn't tell. The flush of a toilet seemed to be Iruka's cue to emerge from the bathroom. He made his way from the bathroom to the bed almost cleanly, until he tripped lightly over the hospital sheet he'd discarded earlier. Fortunately, though he fell, Iruka landed quite safely with a soft "oof" in bed. Kakashi laughed.

"Congratulations on a safe landing!" He said smartly. Iruka grunted, twisting in bed and groping for the blankets before cocooning himself in tightly.

"Can you move that bloody sheet to a more remote corner so I don't kill myself over it in the morning?" Iruka asked wryly, choosing to ignore Kakashi's attempt at humor. He heard soft footsteps, the rumple of fabric, and then the dull, padded sound of it colliding with something in far corner and crumpling on the floor. Kakashi had simply wadded the sheet up and tossed it across the room. Iruka grunted. "Eh. Good enough." The lump of blankets under which Iruka was bundled gave a lazy jerk, indicating a shrug to Kakashi, and then went still as Iruka promptly fell asleep. Kakashi smiled warmly, moving to seat himself in a chair near Iruka's bed.

"Good night," He whispered into the silence. Iruka, fast asleep, failed to respond.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: It seems like there are actually people who are enjoying this, so I'm updating sooner than I expected I would. :) Lucky you. Please note, however, that this chapter may later on be subjected to change. I've never had a fic where I've constantly been doubling back to earlier chapters as I write, adding stuff, taking it out... I think this chapter is pretty well set, though. Not much has happened yet, after all. The shit has yet to hit the fan, anyway.

A few notes...

1) The visit to Tsunade was more a breif reprieve for Kakashi more than anything. (shrugs)

2) Yes, he said "Crikey." lol.

3) The choclates is the first of several little quirks that I've invented for Iruka to better endear him to Kakashi. You'll get another kind of funky food quirk somewhere in ch. 3 or 4, I think... (laughs) that was so weird.

4) That said, I actually have through chapter 6 written, but the chapters in this fic are about twice as long as I usually write (and getting longer...chapter six was almost ten pages long, typed) so it's been slow going in writing this. I have school, work, and six other fics going at this point, and I really don't want to rush any of it. :) Which, despite the possiblity of leaving my readers waiting, is a good thing. :)

MRE


	3. Chapter 3

_**Blind**_

3

Iruka woke up to a headache, and Kakashi's hitai-ate, still wrapped around his head securely, twisted askew and digging into his face. Granted, his discomfort also instantly reminded Iruka of his new disability, and he didn't wake up terrified and disoriented as he had the day before. Adjusting the makeshift blindfold messily, Iruka sat up with a soft groan.

His head hurt.

A lot.

As an instructor of small children armed with martial arts, throwing knives and exceptionally devious minds, Iruka was often prone to migraines. They were a part of his life, and generally, he was pretty good at dealing with them.

This was no migraine, though. It felt like someone had punched several holes in his head, around his eyes and temples, then further back at the base of his skull, and tried, without success, to pull his brains out. He could feel his eyes throb as he sat up, along with several other points, and his ears started to ring. Moaning shakily, Iruka sank back to his bed, fumbling around for a pillow, which once found, he promptly smashed down over his own face. The soft, cool pressure of his pillow helped for a second, but as always, the pain inevitably prevailed.

Across the room, Iruka heard his bedroom door open, and grudgingly pulled the pillow off his face. The smell of eggs and bacon wafted into Iruka's bedroom as Kakashi stepped in.

"Oh! You're awake."

"I wish I wasn't…" Iruka grumbled. "I feel like my brains have been melted down in an acid bath and are threatening to pour out of either one of my ears if I move too quick…"

Kakashi blinked, impressed but a little unnerved by Iruka's creative description.

"That's… graphic…"

"Just kill me now, Kakashi." Iruka moaned, rolling over and clutching at his head. Kakashi winced, and quickly strode to Iruka's side, seating himself on the edge of the bed.

"Hey now, don't say that… Here…" Kakashi reached out and carefully pulled away the hitai-ate blindfold Iruka wore. Iruka scrunched his eyes up, careful to make sure they were shut. "Just relax a little." Kakashi said, and Iruka's face slackened. He was too sore to worry about how the Fire Country's biggest pervert, save Jiraiya, had just told him to "relax". Iruka twitched slightly as Kakashi placed both hands above his hairline, thumbs angled down towards his nose. "Relax…" Kakashi repeated, smoothing over the skin of Iruka's forehead with his thumbs, drawing out at a firm pressure towards his temple. This time, Iruka relaxed completely. "Better… Sit up a little…" Kneeling above Iruka's shoulders Kakashi propped Iruka's head on his knees, and continued to run his thumbs and fingers firmly over his forehead, up around his ears, and all the way to the back of Iruka's head. Some of the pain subsided a little. Traveling down, Kakashi massaged the muscles around Iruka's eyes and cheek bones, and finally the tight knots of muscle around Iruka's jaw. Through the facial massage, the pain in Iruka's head had been cut in half. Finishing up by pushing extra chakara into the meridians around Iruka's eyes and neck, Kakashi sat back. "Better?"

"Yea…much…" Iruka admitted. "My eyes are still throbbing, though."

"We can help that too." Kakashi said, rising. He went into Iruka's bathroom, cast around for a few moments, then returned with a cold, damp washcloth. "Lie back and we'll let this sit for a few minutes before breakfast." Kakashi said, laying the folded cloth over Iruka's eyes. Iruka sighed in relief.

"Yeah… It smells good…" If he had been feeling any better than he did, Iruka might have been a little more surprised at how sensitive and careful Kakashi was being with him.

"I should hope so!" Kakashi chirped, settling himself down on the edge of Iruka's bed again. "Oh yeah!" He added. "Give me your hand."

"What?" Iruka frowned, and Kakashi, noticing, simply snatched his hand up himself. He held Iruka's hand lightly in one hand, and pinched the web of muscle between Iruka's thumb and forefinger with the other, almost hard enough to make Iruka's hand ache. "What are you doing?" Iruka asked, trying not to let his disquiet show in his voice.

"Pressure point for pain." Kakashi said. "Until we can get you some real pain killers after breakfast. Iruka's hand twitched in Kakashi's grip.

"Okay…" He was hesitant. Sure enough, however, the throbbing pain in his head was dulling out to something more distant and hazy, and Iruka took the time to notice how warm Kakashi's hands were. His hand twitched again. He was mercifully distracted by a sudden banging noise coming from the front of his apartment. The sudden noise made Iruka jump and snatch his hand out of Kakashi's grip. Kakashi sighed.

"I bet that's Naruto…" His voice bent into something of a question.

"You'd better just let him in or he'll terrorize us all morning…" Iruka said softly, pulling his blindfold back on.

"I won't let him stay long." Kakashi said, reading into Iruka.

"Thanks." Iruka listened as Kakashi padded across his bedroom, out the door, down the hall, through the front room, to the door. He heard the door open with an audible rattle, a creak, and the cessation of the pounding.

"What?" Kakashi's voice was a little muffled by the distance, as was Naruto's when the boy answered him.

"I came to see Iruka-Sensei. He said I could visit him today." Naruto's voice floated up. His voice was pushy and demanding. Iruka sighed.

"Yeah, you can come in and see him. But keep it low, and short. He's still really sick, and we haven't had time to have breakfast yet, so I can't give him his medicine until he eats."

"I can stay for breakfast!" Naruto said, though his voice was a little softer now.

"I'd rather you didn't, Naruto." Kakashi said gently. "It's hard to imagine, but eating is a bit of a challenge right now…" Kakashi lowered his voice, but Iruka could still hear. "I don't want to worry about him being too embarrassed to eat properly, and he would be in your presence…" There was a pause, and Kakashi added quickly, "It's not your fault, Naruto. Iruka-Sensei just wants to be looking and feeling his best in your presence because he loves you so much. So bear with us for a while, okay?" There was a pause, and Naruto must have nodded.

"Okay." Naruto's voice had become unnaturally subdued, and Iruka relaxed a little.

_Thank you, Kakashi…_ He listened on as the door was shut, and the twin pairs of footsteps trod quietly through his house again.

"What's wrong with Iruka-Sensei? You said he was sick," He heard Naruto ask.

"Maa… I think the poisons are still in his system just a little bit…not enough to be threatening, but he woke up with some really bad head pains…" Kakashi trailed off, and the door opened. Kakashi's voice lifted from the serious tones as he announced Naruto's presence to Iruka. "Okay, Naruto. Don't kill my patient, alright?"

Naruto hurried over to Iruka's bed side. Iruka honed in on the sounds of his footsteps and turned to face him, but was still surprised when Naruto closed the distance faster than he'd anticipated. He couldn't help but gasp a little at the sudden touch. He twitched, and Naruto stiffened, but he quickly brought his arms around, hugging the boy.

"It's not you," He whispered and Naruto relaxed.

"I'm sorry your head hurts, Iruka-Sensei." Naruto said softly, burying his face into Iruka's neck. Iruka sighed, his hand finding Naruto's hair almost by it's own accord. Hugging Naruto, in many ways, was just like hugging a puppy. He was energetic, sweet, quite huggable, and absolutely worshiped anyone who so much as gave him a scratch or a smile. For Iruka, he was also suddenly very puppy-like in that holding the boy was somewhat healing for him. Naruto trembled in his arms just a little, and Iruka knew that he was having trouble comprehending how things would ever be 'okay' for his sensei ever again. Iruka didn't blame him, he found it hard to believe, too. Naruto's arms tightened their grip around his ribs, and Iruka in turn tightened his own grip. Naruto's shoulders were shaking.

"Hey…" Iruka ran his hand through Naruto's hair again soothingly. "It'll all be okay, don't worry so much." The words were as much for Naruto as for himself. "Things will just sort of suck for a little while, but it's OK to believe in happy endings, too." Naruto sniffed, but chuckled as well.

"O-Okay…Heh…I don't think I've ever heard a teacher say anything 'sucked' before."

"I thought you'd already decided I was special, Naruto." Iruka quipped. Naruto giggled wryly, nodding into his shoulder.

"Yeah. I guess so, huh?" Naruto shifted his grip on Iruka, caught Kakashi watching him. His eyes (both being visible for now) were warm, but stern. Naruto, in an act of spontaneous maturity, caught the message. "Well!" He began, straightening up. "I promised Sasuke-Bastard that I'd kick his ass sparring today, so!" Naruto declared cheerfully, signs of his tears long gone from his voice. "I gotta go. I'll come back and visit you again in a day or two when maybe you'll be feeling better. We can go out for ramen or something!" Naruto chirped. He hugged Iruka one last time, kissing his cheek lightly, and stood. Iruka's eyes watered and he pressed them shut a little tighter. "Kakashi-Sensei!" Naruto added in farewell, "Take good care of Iruka-Sensei, or Sakura, Sasuke and I are going to kick your ass later! Bye, Iruka-Sensei!" That said, the blond hurried out, closing the bedroom door, and then the front door quietly.

"He's growing up fast, isn't he?" Kakashi said softly into the silence that followed. Iruka nodded.

"Yes, yes he is…"

Kakashi finally moved from his perch near Iruka's bathroom door. "Come on, let's get some breakfast and a few dozen painkillers in you…" Iruka rose, wobbling unsteadily until Kakashi caught him, holding him up. Iruka groaned, feeling his knees shake, and tried to pull away from Kakashi to stand on his own. "Hey, relax, I've got you…" Kakashi said. Iruka shook his head, still struggling.

"I have to get d-dressed… and I smell…" Iruka said. He wanted a shower. Bad. "I haven't had a shower since before the mission…"

"I don't think you're going to get a shower today, either, Iruka. You can hardly stand." Kakashi pointed out. Iruka frowned.

"Damnit…" He muttered, frustrated. The comforting presence of sunshine that Naruto always left behind was fading for Iruka as the realities of his disabilities returned to full light. Kakashi sighed.

"You have a tub? You can probably manage just soaking in a bath, right?" Kakashi asked. He knew Iruka wouldn't put up with Kakashi trying to help him shower. Kakashi decided that was probably a good thing. Iruka nodded.

"Yes. Please…"

"Yeah. I gotcha." Kakashi said. He steered Iruka back towards the bed. "Just sit for a minute while I get everything set up…" He helped Iruka sit back down without collapsing, and ambled into the bathroom. Iruka sat and listened to the squeak of the faucet, and the sudden roar of water as it poured into the tub. Usually, the only person who used that tub for baths was Naruto, but Iruka realized it may suddenly be put to more frequent use. He was so focused on the sound of the rushing water that he jumped when Kakashi suddenly touched his shoulder. "Oops. Sorry." Kakashi said softly. "Come on, you're all set." Kakashi gripped Iruka's arm, pulling him up into a standing position. Iruka's head spun and throbbed slightly, causing him to sway. "You alright?"

"Head hurts, is all." Iruka said, bracing himself against Kakashi's shoulder as he staggered towards the bathroom. "It didn't hurt like this yesterday…" He commented.

"Then maybe it won't hurt like this tomorrow, either." Kakashi responded. He paused, clearing his throat. "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to let me get you out of those sweats…" Iruka blanched visibly, and Kakashi winced, bracing for another onslaught of verbal blows. Iruka took a deep breath, and Kakashi momentarily wondered if he was going to yell, before he let it out slowly again in a resigned sigh.

"Yeah, I guess so, huh…" He took a hold of one of Kakashi's forearms, using it as a brace as he managed to kick the sweats off in a heap at his feet. Kakashi averted his eyes to Iruka's collarbones, feeling a certain pain over Iruka's obvious humility.

"Okay, in you go…" Kakashi said softly, quickly scooping Iruka up into his arms and lowering him into the bathwater. Iruka twitched as Kakashi lifted him, and the Jounin could tell that Iruka was trying to force his thoughts to remain private. Still, once happily submerged in chest-deep warm water, he let out a low sigh.

"Thank you…" Iruka sagged in the tub, sinking in up to his chin and smiling happily.

"Yeah…no problem." Kakashi wandered out into the bedroom to give poor Iruka a few moments of precious privacy. _Tsunade didn't tell me this was part of the job description._

Kakashi reasoned that things likely would only get more difficult once Iruka decided he was done with his bath. Regretfully, he was right.

---------

"Aa-ah!" Kakashi, shirtless and dripping from the upper arms down, stood and tried to support Iruka and get a towel to him at the same time. Iruka, not too happy to find Kakashi had chosen to discard his shirt so it wouldn't get soaked, alternately clung to and pushed away from supporting shoulders. All he could think of was that there was too much skin and not enough fabric, or even distance, separating them. He was having an incredibly difficult time staying calm.

"I'm sorry! Just… gaah…" Kakashi struggled to support Iruka, on his feet but not able to really stand on his own, and pick up the towel, which was now on the floor. Reaching out with one foot- both hands were occupied in keeping Iruka upright- Kakashi tried not to wobble himself as he stood on one leg and grabbed the towel with his toes of the outstretched foot. He was successful on the second try, and managed to lift the extra-fluffy, navy blue towel up to his most available hand. He made quick work of wrapping the towel around Iruka's waist securely, and made a mad reach for a second towel from a blessedly close shelf. He flung it around Iruka's shoulders, patting the man down. Iruka was practically hyperventilating in his discomfort. "I'm sorry--" Kakashi breathed, trying to stay as impersonal as possible as he dried Iruka off. His hands were shaking. "There," He draped the now slightly damp towel over Iruka's head, wrapping his hair up in it and rolling it over his shoulder. "We're almost done… I'll get you some clean clothes and we're done…" Kakashi went on softly, nearly babbling and almost trying to reassure himself more than Iruka. This was so painfully awkward.

Iruka said nothing, only trembled slightly as Kakashi managed his body. He did his best to shut out the other man's presence entirely, humiliated. _What god did I piss off to deserve this…?_ He thought bitterly. His eyes watered with angry tears, but what few that actually spilled forth were thankfully quickly absorbed by his blindfold. He vaguely heard Kakashi apologize once more, but shut it out. For a brief moment, he silently hated Tsunade for sticking him with Kakashi like this. Kakashi tugged a sweater over his head, and Iruka wiggled the rest of the way into it. Kakashi's hitai-ate was tugged down off his face in the process, and Iruka slipped a finger into the knot, untying it and leaving it abandoned on his bed. He didn't have the energy to fuss with it.

"Come on," Kakashi said, his hands ever present as he helped Iruka stand up again from where he'd been set down on his bed. "Let's get some breakfast so you can have a break…" Iruka was adjusting to Kakashi's silent directions as he guided the Chuunin through his own house. It was almost like some wordless language. A squeeze of the arm, a slight nudge with his elbow…The touches sometimes bothered him, especially after the morning's chaos, but it was a comforting and considerate form of communication none the less. He didn't know how he would act if Kakashi kept on with idiocies such as 'watch your step' or 'turn here'.

Kakashi now whistled softly to himself as he moved through the kitchen, preparing the final touches to breakfast, letting Iruka keep tabs on him. Kakashi was being so careful around him. Iruka was embarrassed, hurting and angry, but Kakashi never lost his cool, even when Iruka snapped at him. He had groveled and apologized earlier in the bathroom as if the world might end. He had struggled for Iruka's comfort, even though they had been presented with one of the most uncomfortable situations imaginable. Iruka reflected on this for the first time as Kakashi moved through his home. He was a little stunned by it. Before a day ago, Kakashi had always been so abrasive and insensitive towards Iruka that the Chuunin didn't think, genius that he supposedly was, that Kakashi was capable of sensitivity. In any other situation, Iruka might have found himself a little pissed off to be proven so incredibly wrong.

"You like toast, Iruka?" Kakashi asked. His voice was still unusually soft. Iruka lifted his head to follow the other man's voice.

"Yeah. There should be jelly in the fridge, too…" Iruka's voice trembled, but he forced himself to act civilly. He heard his refrigerator open almost immediately. There was a long pause.

"Aah… Which flavor?" The thick tinkling of glasses could be heard above the hum of the refrigerator working on overdrive to stay cool as Kakashi held the door open. His voice rose to a more normal pitch after Iruka had responded to him. Iruka had been so deathly quiet for the last twenty minutes, that Kakashi had been worrying more and more with passing breath. "I see strawberry, raspberry, blackberry, mint…mint!-ah…oh…um, orange marmalade, peach…wait…what's that…one more…" Kakashi grunted and scooted a few things around in the fridge, digging deep. "Oh, marion berry… Iruka, what the hell are marion berries?" Kakashi was also no doubt wondering why Iruka had nearly a dozen different jellies, but he didn't ask. Iruka, sensing the question, gave a rather nervous laugh, awed by the almost comical normalcy of the situation. Minutes earlier he'd been struggling in the dark, wet, cold and naked. Now they were discussing his jelly collection.

"Try some, they're good… Like blackberries, only better. Anyway, I'll have strawberry, I guess."

"I should have guessed." Kakashi said, smirking. His suddenly smug-sounding voice distracted Iruka from his discomfort.

"Huh?"

"You seem like the type to like strawberries." Kakashi said.

"Who doesn't like strawberries?"

"I don't like strawberries." Kakashi withdrew the two jars of jelly, closing the fridge finally. The room temperature had actually cooled down notably, it had been open so long.

"You're kidding?" That wasn't possible. Iruka didn't think he knew anyone who didn't at least /sort/ of like strawberries.

"Yep." Kakashi said. The mirth was so thick in his voice Iruka almost wanted to find something to throw at him.

"You ass!" Was this really happening? The whole apartment had been so thick with tension only moments earlier, that Iruka could almost taste it.

"I couldn't help it!" Kakashi defended, voice rising in pitch as he tried not to laugh. He threw his hands up and gave Iruka an innocent look, but realized belatedly that that sort of tactic wouldn't work on Iruka. Not anymore.

"Yeah, right." Iruka said, crossing his arms and sulking. Kakashi laughed.

"Now now, no sulking or you don't get breakfast." Iruka relaxed with a sigh.

"Fine. You win." No breakfast meant no pain killers, and his head _really_ hurt.  
"Breakfast is served!" Kakashi instantly set a plate down in front of Iruka. Iruka jumped a little. Kakashi had snuck up on him.

"Don't--!" He hissed. Kakashi paused looking at Iruka as he recoiled.

"Don't what?" Kakashi asked, sounding a little hurt. So much for the bliss of almost-normalcy.

"Sneak up on me!" Iruka said, exasperated. For him, it was obvious. For Kakashi, he hadn't even realized he'd been sneaking.

"I'm sorry." Kakashi's voice told Iruka he meant the apology. "I didn't mean to. I'm trained for stealth, you know…I guess it's automatic…" Kakashi had never imagined that being a natural ninja could become problematic for him. Iruka sighed.

"I didn't mean to snap…"

"It's alright. I don't blame you. It's been a shitty morning, and you've got a lot you need to adjust to right now. Nobody said you had to do it with grace and a smile." Kakashi said softly. Iruka nodded silently. "Now here, eat up." Kakashi put a fork down near Iruka's wrist. It clanked loudly in the silence. Iruka picked it up, and Kakashi took Iruka's hand into his, fork and all, and gently guided Iruka's hand over the plate. He helped Iruka bump the fork across the plate. "Eggs, bacon and toast over here…" He said softly. "You alright on your own?"

"I think so."

"Okay." Kakashi padded across the kitchen again. Iruka realized he must be bare footed, because his feet were slapping lightly against the linoleum, not clonking like sandals would. A cupboard was open and closed, as well as the fridge, but Iruka focused on finding, and successfully eating his eggs. He didn't do too badly. "Here you go." Kakashi said, returning and setting down a glass within Iruka's range. "It's orange juice."

"Great." Iruka said, trying to be nicer after snapping at Kakashi yet again. Something of an awkward silence had begun to stretch between them, and he didn't like it. He was convinced that he didn't like Kakashi either, but right now, the platinum haired nin was all he had. The toast and the bacon were easier to find, and Iruka devoured them. "Kakashi…?"

"Yeah?" Iruka's head turned towards the Jounin's voice. He'd lost track of him.

"Aren't you going to eat breakfast too?" Iruka asked.

"Actually, I already did, before you were up." Kakashi admitted, sounding a little guilty.

"Why…?" There was a long pause.

"…Ahh…I guess I'm just used to eating alone. Force of habit."

"Always?" Iruka couldn't help but ask.

"Yeah."

"No girlfriends or anything…?"

"I haven't had anything more than a one night stand since I was a Chuunin." Kakashi said, almost sadly. "And I don't bring people home. It's not safe. So no. I live alone."

"Then it must be awkward…" Iruka said quietly. Kakashi turned on his heel to stare at him.

"Huh?"

"…To be living with someone else, to be in constant company of another all of the sudden." Iruka reflected.

"Not really." Kakashi let a sad smile creep across his face, knowing that Iruka wouldn't know any different. "It's a nice change, really." Kakashi went on. "An empty home gets lonely." Kakashi circled out of the room for a moment, whistling softly so Iruka could track him. Iruka realized he recognized the tune, but couldn't place it. He knew it had lyrics…they just wouldn't come to him. Kakashi returned, the tune, bittersweet and soft, fading away as he came back into Iruka's presence.

"Here ya go." Kakashi said. He lifted Iruka's hand, pressing something small into his palm. "It's just aspirin but it should help you out." Iruka threw back the pills, swallowing them with the rest of his orange juice. He had a brief, weird thought of how easy it would be for Kakashi to give him something that _wasn't_ aspirin. He would never be the wiser. It was a disturbing thought that almost compelled Iruka to cough the pills back up, but he didn't.

_I should trust Kakashi. Tsunade-Sama wouldn't have assigned him to look after me if he wasn't trustworthy._ In all truth, the whole notion was utterly ridiculous, and Iruka knew this. It must have shown on his face, because Kakashi responded to his thoughts as if he'd said them aloud.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to poison you or anything." The comment would have sounded comical if it hadn't been said so seriously. Kakashi wasn't stupid. He'd seen the thought cross Iruka's face when the dark haired man had frozen, eyes open and focused into oblivion, one hand still poised near his mouth, almost as if he were covering it. "I wouldn't ever do anything like that." He added quietly. Iruka frowned and turned to face Kakashi, but his gaze was off, sort of fixated on the microwave instead of Kakashi, who was several feet to the left of it. "Oops." Kakashi said suddenly. Internally, he was grateful for a change of subject. "Hang on I'll be right back." He hurried back towards Iruka's bedroom. Returning, he came up beside Iruka. "Here we are." Iruka felt the familiar brush of well worn fabric over his forehead as Kakashi settled the temporarily forgotten hitai-ate over his eyes.

"I'll get it." Iruka said, bringing his hands up to where Kakashi held the ends of his old headband. Kakashi jumped a little as Iruka's fingertips brushed his hands, but didn't make a sound. Iruka fussed with the tie for a moment, making sure the position and tightness were just perfect, before cinching the knot. Kakashi stood silently behind Iruka's seat, rubbing his knuckles and staring down at Iruka. "Does it look okay?" Iruka asked.

No answer.

"Kakashi?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: sorry about that cliffhanger. Honestly, I didn't mean it that way. Kakashi's just zoned out. He'll snap out of it...just...in chapter 4, lol.

I had to stop it SOMEWHERE...Oo. or this chapter would have been 30 pages long or something. couldn't have that. (why, I don't know)

anywho...THERE! CH 3! Yay! People actually LIKE this fic, yes? yes? (looks around) review pleeeease:)


	4. Chapter 4

_Iruka felt the familiar brush of well worn fabric over his forehead as Kakashi settled the temporarily forgotten hitai-ate over his eyes._

"_I'll get it." Iruka said, bringing his hands up to where Kakashi held the ends of his old headband. Kakashi jumped a little as Iruka's fingertips brushed his hands, but didn't make a sound. Iruka fussed with the tie for a moment, making sure the position and tightness were just perfect, before cinching the knot. Kakashi stood silently behind Iruka's seat, rubbing his knuckles and staring down at Iruka. "Does it look okay?" Iruka asked._

_No answer._

"_Kakashi?"_

_**Blind**_

4.

Generally speaking, when you ask someone a question, they answer you. This was not the case, however, with Iruka and Kakashi. Iruka waited into the stretching silence before repeating the man's name, a little impatiently.

"Kakashi…?" Iruka frowned, twisting around. He swore Kakashi was still behind him. "Kakashi!"

Kakashi jumped, gasping slightly. Iruka's frown deepened.

"What the hell's wrong?" Iruka asked. Kakashi grimaced.

"Sorry, zoned out." Kakashi said hazily. Iruka's jaw set tellingly. "Um… didn't sleep well last night. Er…Sorry." Kakashi elaborated weakly.

"Why not!" Iruka tugged at the knot on the hitai-ate over his eyes once more.

"Um…I ah…" This was truly a little embarrassing for Kakashi. He'd slept perfectly well, though his neck and back were a little sore this morning. Okay, more than a little. "Fell asleep…in that little wooden chair by your bed…" Iruka's jaw dropped, and Kakashi winced.

"I can't even stand _sitting_ in that thing! How the hell could you have _slept_ on it all night!" Iruka demanded.

"I said I didn't sleep well… Why do you even keep it if you don't like it?"

"Sometimes I need it…" Iruka said weakly. Kakashi laughed.

"That's it, I'm buying you something padded to replace it."

"No, it's fine." Iruka argued.

"No, I'll be sleeping there, I'm replacing it." Kakashi cracked his neck loudly to emphasize his point.

"What was that!" Iruka cringed at the sound.

"My neck." Kakashi said casually. "Feels better now." Iruka sighed heavily, jumping to his feet. He crashed right into Kakashi, who let out a startled yelp. "What's that for--!" Iruka seemed nonplussed.

"Come on…into the living room." Iruka said. He grabbed Kakashi's arm and pushed on it.

"Huh, why?" Kakashi glanced back at Iruka, a little dumbfounded. Where had all this energy suddenly come from? From the way their morning had gone, Kakashi expected Iruka to be worn out by the time he'd finished breakfast.

"I don't need to see to be able to work out your neck and back a little. Don't tell me you aren't sore from sleeping in that chair all night because I know you are." Kakashi's eyes widened.

"Um-!" _Shit! Not a good start!_ "I gotta go." _Not much better._ Kakashi's inner critic had suddenly become uncharacteristically brutal. "To check on the kids, I mean." Iruka frowned. "You know…with Sasuke and Naruto…I gotta make sure they don't kill each other. You're okay by yourself for a few minutes, right? I'll be right back!" Kakashi, by this point, had guided Iruka to the couch, and sat him down rather hastily. "Okay. Be right back!" There was a pop, and Kakashi was gone.

Iruka sat in silence, and in darkness, frowning over Kakashi's strange behavior.

_Who am I kidding? He's always strange…_ But this, Iruka thought, was strange even for Kakashi.

---------

Kakashi had never been more grateful for that teleportation jutsu. He leaned on a tree outside of Iruka's apartment complex and scrubbed at his face with both hands.

How embarrassing.

He hadn't botched a clean escape like that in _ages_. And of all the people… Kakashi groaned. Iruka was sharp as a razor, and incredibly perceptive of the internal workings of others. That's why he made such an excellent teacher. Kakashi figured that Iruka remained single, simply because he hadn't found someone to measure up to his own intelligence yet.

_You're doomed, Scarecrow._ Kakashi sighed, straightening up and wandering down the streets. He knew that if he didn't actually go and check on the kids, now, that Iruka would know. Somehow. Teachers were like that. They _knew_ stuff. Kakashi wasn't fool enough to think that that teacherly power was confined to only working on children under the age of fourteen.

It had all seemed such a stupid thing to loose his head over, too. Only yesterday, he'd remained calm through pulling Iruka, naked from the floor and dressing him. Only yesterday, he'd been fine with the constant touches that were now suddenly required for communication, and hand feeding the other man. He'd been fine this morning, too. …Mostly, anyway. Bath time had been hard. But he'd also been just fine until five minutes ago, when Kakashi had suddenly decided he couldn't put up with Iruka touching _him._ Kakashi hadn't realized how up tight he was. Maybe a massage would have done him good… Now that he consciously considered this, all the muscles in his neck and back seemed to suddenly seize up and begin to ache, though they'd been this way all along. Kakashi's inner self suddenly materialized itself and kicked him sharply upside the head.

"I'm a moron." That announcement made to the bright mid morning, Kakashi hurried off towards Team 7's favorite training grounds, too distracted to realize that not only was he on time, but _early_.

---------

"AAAAH!" Naruto's resounding scream brought the whole Team 7 training endeavor to a screeching halt. He stood, slack jawed and pointing, at Kakashi who had paused nearby, hands in his pockets and slouching, and looking impressively confused. Sasuke and Sakura lined up on either side of their loud-mouthed teammate to stare as well.

"What?" Kakashi asked, sounding as lost as he looked. Sakura frowned, sizing her Sensei up.

"Kakashi-Sensei…" She said thoughtfully. "What are you doing here…?"

"Maa, just checking in on you guys to make sure you haven't killed each other!" Kakashi said cheerfully, though his confusion at their reaction to his presence was still evident. "Don't worry, I'm just checking in, though!" He added, thinking they were dismayed to see him.

"But…But…" Sakura stammered, "You're _EARLY_!"

Kakashi blinked, dumbfounded.

"Huh? I am?"

"YES!" All three of his students shouted. Sakura's frown grew, and she formed a few hand seals.

"Kai!" When the dispel technique didn't work, and left Kakashi staring at her in confusion still, Sakura dropped her hands slowly, looking pale. "Wha…what have you d-done with K-Kakashi-Sensei…?" She asked. Kakashi laughed.

"Iruka-Sensei said the same thing to me yesterday!" His students stared at him slack jawed.

"What the hell is wrong with you, then?" Sasuke asked, voice low. Kakashi ignored him.

"Which reminds me, I've got a full-time mission now, so I gotta go. I just wanted to make sure you three haven't leveled the village about everybody's ears or anything!" Kakashi said cheerfully. With a pop, he vanished, leaving the trio of youngsters staring after him in mixed horror and awe.

"…wouldn't he have noticed if we'd leveled the village right on top of him?" Sasuke said softly. Naruto scratched his head, thinking that one over harder than he should have.

"He doesn't seem himself, does he?" Sakura observed. "I've never seen him so distracted."

"Hey hey… I went over and visited Iruka-Sensei this morning (he's home from the hospital!) and Kakashi-Sensei was all super-serious, then. But I think he needed to be… Iruka Sensei looked all pale and tired…" Sakura's face fell.

"That's got to be so hard on Iruka-Sensei…"

"It could be difficult for Kakashi-Sensei, too." Sasuke observed quietly. "It's hard to take care of someone twenty-four/seven. Maybe it's been taxing on him."

"It would explain his weirdness…"

"Hey! Kakashi-Sensei's _always_ weird!" Naruto cried.

"Yes, but not weird like _that_, you moron! He was all spaced out!" Sakura shouted, whacking Naruto roughly upside the head. Naruto crouched at her feet, clutching his head and whimpering.

"Come on. Let's get back to training." Sasuke said, turning away from the other two.

---------

Kakashi returned to Iruka's apartment to find his charge curled on the couch, apparently asleep. He sighed, reasoning to himself that Iruka would likely be doing a lot of sleeping for the next few days. He had a lot of healing to do, though no external injuries or maladies beyond his blindness were apparent. It had been a double blow to both his system, and his psyche. Kakashi moved closer to Iruka, planning on throwing a blanket over him, when he paused, staring down at the prone form on the couch. Iruka's breathing was rough and fast, and every now and then, a soft whimper escaped his lips. Reaching down, Kakashi brushed Iruka's forehead with the back of his hand. No fever. Iruka cringed, tossing and nearly throwing himself from the couch.

Nightmare. Swallowing a lump in his throat, Kakashi circled around to crouch right at Iruka's side, shaking him as gently as he could.

"Iruka! Wake up!" Iruka gave a wheezing gasp, sitting up, hands coming up and locking on to Kakashi's wrist, restraining the hand that had touched his shoulder. His chest heaved, and his breathing didn't slow.

"Nngh! Get away! No! Get-!" He gasped and cut off, cowering was Kakashi brought his other hand up.

"Iruka! Wake _up!_" Kakashi cried, shaking the smaller man again.

"Get _AWAY!_" Iruka screamed. Kakashi recoiled, falling back off his heals onto the floor. In screaming, Iruka had finally jolted himself awake. He glanced around, quickly remembering his blindness again, and burst into sobs, oblivious to Kakashi's presence. Unaware, Kakashi came up and placed an arm around Iruka's shaking shoulders. Iruka hissed and recoiled. "DON'T." Kakashi pulled back, looking burned.

"Iruka, it's just me…the dream's gone, it's-"

"I _don't need your comfort or your pity!" _Iruka said, pushing Kakashi away with both hands. He pushed up his blindfold to wipe furiously at his tears, turning away. "I'm _FINE_." Hurt, Kakashi moved away.

"Okay…" He said softly. "I'll leave you alone. Call if you do need something…" Kakashi disappeared into the other end of Iruka's home, leaving the house quiet.

Iruka sat, chest still heaving a little, staring into blackness. He hadn't really meant that… but it was just so _weird_ with Kakashi's hands all over him all the time… But it wasn't like that. The touching was minimal…and necessary, and if Kakashi had been compelled to try and comfort Iruka after an earth-shattering nightmare, was he wrong for it? Hurt, frustrated, and confused, Iruka tossed on the couch, forcing himself back into sleep.

---------

Kakashi stood in the center of Iruka's bedroom, staring at that stiff wooden chair by the bed. He didn't really want to sleep sitting up on that thing again that night, but it was close to Iruka and a spot where Kakashi could watch over him.

_You can always sleep on the floor… Or how about this,_ His inner cynic hissed, _You can curl up by the door, or at the foot of his bed like the dog you are._ Kakashi's self esteem hadn't been this low since Obito died.

He had just been struck rather violently by a reality he'd been desperately trying to deny: There was no helping it, Iruka hated him.

Outwardly, this may not appear to be too big of a deal for Kakashi. Lots of people hated him. Lots of people, even in Konoha, hated him. Iruka, for example. The problem here, however, was that Kakashi actually _cared_ about Iruka. He'd tired his hardest in the last twenty-four hours to be his kindest, most considerate towards the other man, in the hopes of smoothing over their rather rocky past. No such luck, apparently.

_Oh well. Shit happens._ Kakashi told himself this, but he still flopped despondently into that hated chair, elbows on his knees, chin in his hands, and stared depressed off into space. He had a job to do, and he would do it, whether Iruka liked it or not.

---------

Iruka woke up after another half hour of cat napping to a quiet home. His head ached again, but not badly, and he sat up carefully in the couch. Listening for Kakashi, Iruka frowned slightly when he couldn't find any audible hint of the man.

_You can do better than this, Iruka._ He told himself. Taking a slow breath, he sank back inside of himself, stretching out and touching his own chakara inside of him, then spreading outward. He felt around the room with that same sense, feeling the cold emptiness of his furniture in vague shapes, the slightly warmer hue of the walls of his home. A flash of white passed his senses as a bird flew by outside. Iruka reached further towards the back of his home, using his senses to feel around the cool blues and grays of his empty house, until finally he reached his own room. It glowed a little brighter in general here, full of his own presence and energy. It also contained a single bright spot that Iruka immediately recognized as Kakashi. He lingered near the man, wondering if Kakashi would sense his presence. Kakashi's chakara was ebbing and flowing lazily through his system, cooler and calmer than Iruka expected. It was a sharp contrast to the vibrant energy of the bird that had passed. Looking closer, Iruka realized he could make out the physical outline of Kakashi's figure, hot spots over his heart and lungs, warm pools in the carpet where his feet touched. The wood of the chair he sat hunched in glowed softly. Iruka sat up a little straighter with a gasp. He could _see_. Not literally with his eyes, but with something deeper and more profound. If he strained, looked hard enough, he could _see_ Kakashi's heart beat, slow and steady. Withdrawing, Iruka passed through his home again, making out more clearly the walls and various obstacles, and managing to identify most. He smiled, and rose.

Iruka wobbled. He could feel the drain on his chakara, reaching out like this, and he was still so tired, but he managed to work his way through his home, slow but steady, to his room. He didn't have to reach so hard to see Kakashi now, and he realized the man hadn't moved.

"Are you asleep?" Iruka asked into the darkness. Even diverting his attention enough to talk had dropped the spell, and he was in the black again. He didn't see Kakashi's head snap up. He hadn't been asleep, just lost in thought. He sensed more physically the spike in Kakashi's aura rather than seeing it. That was an ability he would have to stretch and train later. For now he was worn out.

"Iruka!" Kakashi jumped up, nearly toppling the chair he'd been sitting on. "How--" He stood, started towards Iruka, but stopped short, pulling back. He'd learned his lesson earlier.

"I… I was looking for your presence, because I didn't hear you moving around, and I realized I could sort of _see_ everything… like in hues of chakara, I guess…in my mind sort of…" Iruka gave a weak laugh. "I sound like I'm going insane, but I made it this far, and I found you, right?" Kakashi nodded excitedly, then caught himself.

"You're not crazy. You're just learning to use those sort of basic skills to their full advantage."

"Well, it's gone now."

"It'll be back," Kakashi reassured.

"You're sitting in that damned chair again, aren't you?" Iruka almost growled. "And you were asleep, weren't you!"

"Actually, I was just lost in thought."

"You seemed asleep. Your heart beat and breathing were slow…" Iruka said. "I could see that…" Kakashi smiled a little in awe.

_He could see my heart beat…?_ "Well, they're not slow anymore… You should sit down." Kakashi said. Iruka wobbled over to his bed, again lost in the dark. He bumped into it more than found it on purpose, but he did make it. "I guess you won't need me for very long after all, huh?" Kakashi wished he hadn't said that, but it had come out of his mouth without permission.

"I don't know…" Iruka said. "I wasn't able to hold it very long."

"You just need a little practice."

"I know." There was a long silence, broken only by the heavily muted sounds from the streets outside. "You really need to get your ass out of that chair." Iruka said suddenly, voice flat. Kakashi stood obediently.

"Well, up until now the couch was taken. I guess I can move shop now."

"You don't have to…" Iruka paused. "I mean… well yeah. It's a lot softer than that stupid old hunk of oak anyway." He sounded reluctant to let Kakashi leave him. Kakashi didn't dwell on this, just obeyed what Iruka wasn't asking of him out loud.

"I have an idea…" Kakashi hurried out of the room. Iruka listened to his progress into the front room and back.

"What are you doing?" Iruka asked when he'd returned. Kakashi smirked, and somehow Iruka could sense it.

"Stole a cushion from your couch. Hope you don't mind." Kakashi said, making a play of dropping the pillow with a _thump_ onto the chair. He plopped down happily. Then Kakashi winced. The pillow almost made it worse, but if it reassured Iruka, he could put up with it for now. "Aaah! Much better!" He declared around a stretch. He very stealthily lifted his weight just enough to pull the pillow out from under him and set it aside on the floor as he spoke. Iruka didn't seem to notice.

"Does this mean you're not going to leave me alone?" Iruka almost whined. Kakashi grinned.

"Right you are!" Iruka sighed, and sank back onto his bed.

"I feel like all I've been doing is sleeping…" Iruka said tiredly.

"If you're sleeping this much, it's because you need it." Kakashi pointed out. Iruka shrugged.

"How are the kids doing?" He asked suddenly. Kakashi gave a sort of nervous laugh.

"Ehh. They were doing just fine. Actually, they were surprised as hell to see me."

"Why?" Iruka rolled onto his side to face Kakashi. Kakashi bit his lip, going silent. He shifted his weight, and the chair creaked stiffly. "…Kakashi? What did you do to them?" Iruka's voice dripped with suspicion.

"Nothing! I didn't do anything!"

"Then what was the problem?"

"I didn't say there was a problem." Kakashi argued.

"Your voice…and your defensiveness says enough." Iruka pointed out. Kakashi blinked.

"I don't think I like you being this perceptive." He said flatly. Iruka snorted.

"I've always been perceptive of people, Kakashi. So what happened?" Apparently, Kakashi was cornered.

"Um...well…I didn't realize, but apparently I was…um…early." Why was he so embarrassed? Oh yeah. Because the Never-On-Time-Nin had rushed out of Iruka's apartment to check on his students, only to be _early_.

Silence stretched into the room, and Kakashi couldn't quite bring himself to look at Iruka's expressive face immediately.

A small sound like a choked snort broke the silence.

Then another, a little louder. After a third full-blown snort, Iruka gave up on trying to hold back, and burst into laughter. Kakashi frowned. Iruka had his head thrown back against the pillows and was laughing as if he'd never laughed in his life.

"Hey…" Kakashi said slowly. "It's not _that_ funny…. Is it?" Iruka couldn't answer, he was laughing too hard. Kakashi watched in fascination as Iruka continued to laugh until a steady trail of tears came streaming out from under the blindfold. Laughter mingled with sobs soon died away to weak hiccups, and Kakashi sighed, moving over to kneel at Iruka's side. "Been waiting to let that out?" He asked softly. Iruka sniffed, wiping at his cheeks with the back of his hand. Kakashi wiped a stray tear away from Iruka's chin with the pad of his thumb. The oddly loving touch brought Iruka back around fully, and he fell calm and quiet, thinking. "You alright?" Kakashi asked. Iruka nodded.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just had to crack for a minute. I'm okay now." He paused. "Don't worry." He added. Kakashi forced out a laugh. His mind was still trapped on how Iruka had snapped at him earlier. He stared at the wetness on his thumb as he spoke.

"It's my mission to worry about you."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: I hated leaving that last chapter as a cliffhanger so I posted this one early. Besides, I wrote two more chapters today.

I: I don't like this chapter so much, it's sort of weirdly transitional, and as I've mentioned, it's really just the second half of Ch. 3 but I felt like I had to split them. Silly me. That was the end of Ch. 3 before the start of 4, as a refresher. :)

II: This may be the point where you may realize that poor Iruka-Kun is not the only person suffering... Much angst to come. Be warned. (lol People keep saying how cute this fic is, and I'm all ... 'huh?' I'm further along in the story, and it's gotten kind of heavy where I'm at, but it WILL be happy...sooner or later...Oo maybe... lol.

A few notes, after reading through all of my loverly reviews (there's so many! ):

1. Kakashi's 'one night stand' could have been anything, and yes, he would have been very young. BUT... it's very easy, for anyone who's read the Kakashi Gaiden, to see maybe something sort of happening between him and Rin, though I doubt it would have lasted (he was this crazy intense little bastard after all, and probalby couldn't deal with 'warm and fuzzy')

2. Finding something by braille is a sort of saying rather than a direct concept, as far as I can tell - finding something manually with your hands, instead of a visual aide. shrugs

3. I'm doing my best with the errors. I beta and edit all of my own work, which includes me reading over each chapter up to a dozen times before posting it, but sometimes I get weird distractions. Most of this is written between loads of laundry on the weekends. Other things that may be mistaken for a typo may also be just speech mannerisms I've given the characters. I do that. If it's in quotes, it's probably on purpose, for example. :)


	5. Chapter 5

5

Kakashi was whistling that damned song again, and Iruka _still_ couldn't figure it out. All he knew was the tune made his heart ache, and he wasn't sure if he liked that or not. It made him feel lonely. Iruka couldn't help but wonder if Kakashi chose that tune, consciously or not, because he was lonely.

Iruka couldn't imagine how suddenly living with and caring for someone for four days solid could make a person lonely, though, and dismissed the idea.

Even though Iruka had slept off most of his second and third day home, it now felt like Kakashi had been living with him for an eternity. And yet…It didn't. Kakashi could be ever present and totally absent at the same time, and it confused Iruka. He could entirely disappear all day, but the very second that Iruka stumbled, or winced in pain, he was /there/ as if he'd never been any more than millimeters away from Iruka to begin with. He didn't know how Kakashi always knew, but he did. He hadn't needed to voice his grievances much in the last few days, because the other man had seemingly developed a tap on the inner workings of Iruka, and almost knew if something was wrong, before Iruka did. It was disturbing.

And Kakashi was still whistling that song on loop. It was stuck in Iruka's head now, and he was a little irked that the lyrics still hadn't come to him. It also sounded like Kakashi was cleaning the kitchen. Or tearing it apart. Iruka, despite his still persisting headache, chose optimism.

_Might as well check and find out…good a time as any…_ Iruka sank back --it was almost noon and he was still in bed - and stretched out with the deepest part of his being, turning himself and his world inside out as he mapped out his home in shades of living energy. He found Kakashi quickly and easily, a brilliant white center of energy that left everything he touched glowing softly. His chakara, so hot and strong, stood out enough that Iruka could, with a little extra concentration, make out some of the details of his person. The cooler parts of Iruka's world were all blurred shapes. Iruka was able to make out Kakashi's fingers, his profile and hairline. His lips -a little warmer because of the focus needed for whistling- were pursed slightly as the tune he wove fluted on. Drawing back, Iruka focused on the items in his kitchen that Kakashi had recently touched, using them as landmarks. _I'll be damned…_ Iruka smirked. Kakashi was doing the dishes. Iruka forced the blur of his kitchen into higher resolution, defining the table from the chairs, where the counter met the wall. Iruka was drawn lazily back to Kakashi. He couldn't be sure, but it sort of looked like Kakashi might have been wearing an apron. Iruka rose from his bed, pulling back to his own room so that he could make it to the door safely, then down the hall, until he finally stretched out into the kitchen again before he entered.

He saw Kakashi turn and look straight at him through the wall moments before Iruka came around the corner. It made Iruka's heart thump -it was like accidentally meeting the eyes of a predator in the wild, maybe a wolf. _I see you,_ it said. _And I know you see me. I am a natural predator, and someday, you could be the prey._ That visage vanished as Iruka came into a direct line of sight with Kakashi, however. The Jounin raised a hand without turning around.

"Yo." He said, dropping his arm again to scrub at a plate. "Good to see you up and about." Kakashi could always tell when Iruka was stretching his secondary sight. Iruka had plans to learn to conceal himself in this chakara plane, but for now, just being able to get through his own home was good enough.

"I'm sick of my bed." Iruka said flatly.

"Feeling better, then?" Kakashi asked hopefully. Iruka made a face.

"No. But I'm sick of lying in bed all day. All I do is sleep."

"You're sleeping for a reason, Iruka." Kakashi reminded.

"I'll have plenty of time to sleep when I'm dead." Iruka countered bitterly, then added more quietly, "I want my old life back…" He moved to the table and sat down, letting his 'vision' fade away to black for the time being.

"Well, you can't have it back, but you can make a new one." Kakashi said. He pulled the plug on the drain in the sink, drying his hands. The water glugged and gurgled noisily down the drain.

"How can I make a new life, as you say, when all I do is sleep!"

"You're healing!" Kakashi countered, his voice rising just a little. "You won't sleep forever, but you had a huge part of your nervous system killed less than a week ago." Kakashi lowered his voice again. "…Your body hasn't realized this is an injury that it can't heal, yet, and is still putting energy into the problem… these headaches suggest that the poison lingers as well…" Iruka sighed loudly, and he heard Kakashi's feet shuffle slightly as he turned to face his ward.

Kakashi knew, and understood Iruka's frustration. He knew that Iruka needed that precious rest, but he also knew that things would get difficult if he let Iruka only become more and more pent up. There was still a definite tension that hung between them, and if Iruka was bored, frustrated, and generally cranky, Kakashi was only liable to mess up more than usual.

"How about this…I pop out for a minute, and have the kids meet us at Ichiraku's for lunch. I'll get you to the shop, and you can practice stretching your abilities a little. I bet Naruto would love to see you." _They all would…_ Kakashi added mentally. Iruka was loved by many as much the Hokage herself.

"That would be wonderful…" Iruka said, suddenly glad he'd decided to take a break. "Can we go now?"

"Sure thing…I'll be right back and then we're off." Kakashi said, quickly slipping out of the apron he had indeed been wearing over his standard uniform. Iruka took a deep breath as Kakashi vanished from the kitchen, trying to draw some extra energy into himself, while also trying to quell the sudden childish excitement welling up inside of him. It would be nice to get out.

Naruto bounced in his seat, glancing over his shoulder repeatedly towards the ramen stand's entrance.

"Naruto! Calm down!" Sakura cried, whapping the blond.

"But Iruka-Sensei is coming! This must mean he's feeling better!"

"Moron. His eyes aren't just going to suddenly go back to normal." Sasuke said.

"I know that, bastard!" Naruto countered. "But he was sick, too. I saw him a few days ago, remember? He was really messed up!" Naruto added in a softer voice, "It was kind of scary…"

"You went and saw him even though he was sick!" Sakura demanded, raising her fist to hit Naruto again.

"I didn't know when I went! And Kakashi-Sensei let me in anyway. Just told me to be quiet…"

"Why was Kakashi-Sensei there?" Sasuke asked, looking up suddenly.

"Old Lady Tsunade has him takin' care of Iruka-Sensei…But I told you that before!" Naruto said. "I was there when she told him." Naruto scratched an ear thoughtfully. "…Iruka-Sensei didn't seem too happy about it, though…"

"I heard they got into a huge argument just before the Chuunin Exam…" Sakura said. Naruto and Sasuke turned to look at her.

"Where'd you hear that?"

"From Ino. Her Sensei told them. Asuma-San was there at the time as well, as a Cell leader."

"That's weird…" Naruto said, scratching his head and frowning. Sasuke shrugged. Sakura, lost in thought, opened her mouth to say something else after a short lapse of silence, but was cut off.

"Yo."

"Kakashi-Sensei! Iruka-Sensei!" Naruto nearly leapt out of his seat to tackle the duo as they arrived, but Sasuke had the sense to catch the blond by the collar, holding him back.

"You're on time." Sasuke said. Kakashi grinned, single eye arching gleefully. He pointed a finger at Iruka's chest.

"Blame him." Iruka's jaw dropped.

"Hey--! Why you--!" He cut himself off before any uncouth explicatives escaped his mouth in front of the children. Kakashi only seemed to grin even more. Sasuke eyed him thoughtfully.

"Kakashi-Sensei, you bastard! Don't you blame your idiocies on Iruka-Sensei!" Naruto yelled. If Iruka's eyes hadn't been so sore, he might have rolled them, even though they were safely hidden under his…err, Kakashi's headband.

"Iruka Sensei, why are you wearing your leaf over your eyes like that?" Sakura asked softly. Iruka sighed, seating himself. Kakashi kept a guiding hand on his shoulder, but at the moment, Iruka could 'see' enough to find the bar stool on his own.

"My eyes look nasty so I've covered them up." Sakura blinked, taken aback.

"He's exaggerating, Sakura-Chan." Kakashi said. "They don't look so bad, but they are different."

"Show us?" Sakura asked.

"I'd rather not." Iruka said.

"Saaakuraa-Chaaan!" Naruto whined. "You shouldn't ask stuff like that!" Sasuke grunted, cuffing Naruto halfheartedly. Sakura glared.

"Now now, Kids…" Kakashi said, seating himself between Sasuke and Iruka. Naruto, at Iruka's left, hugged his ex-sensei lovingly.

"Are you feeling better, Iruka-Sensei?" He asked softly.

"It still hurts a lot," Iruka answered honestly, "But I missed you guys, and I couldn't stand spending another day in bed." He lifted his head towards the ramen bar owner. "Miso, please." Sasuke frowned, watching Iruka carefully.

"You're in pain?" Sakura asked. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

"My head and eyes have been aching since I woke up in the hospital, but it's fading now, and I think it's just something I have to wait out. We're fine, but thank you for the offer." Their orders were handed to them, and Iruka leaned back as the owner put the bowl before him. Sasuke blinked, activating his sharingan. Iruka twitched, head turning in his direction for a brief second, his own chakara flaring. Sasuke watched out of the corner of one eye as Iruka reached towards the container of disposable chopsticks on the counter, and pretended not to notice, grabbing it himself and pulling it towards him a little. Iruka's hand followed it neatly, dipping past Sasuke's hand without ever directly crossing it's path, and withdrawing a single pair of chopsticks. Iruka swallowed a smirk. Kakashi had his head down like he was trying to hide his face more than usual, and Sasuke had his head turned in Iruka's direction. Iruka wished his sixth sense was sharp enough to catch the boy's facial expression. He could see the brilliant white-hot cores of energy where Sasuke's eyes belonged, and reasoned that the boy was going to extra measures to figure him out.

It was a little satisfying to baffle the genius Uchiha.

"Something bothering you, Sasuke-kun?" Kakashi asked. Iruka could hear the mirth in the other mans' voice, and took an odd pleasure in it. Iruka had a little harder time finding his ramen-it blended in with all the other inanimate objects in the building - but managed, and went about his business eating. It was difficult, but better than having Kakashi feed him in front of the kids. In response to Kakashi's question, Sasuke sniffed. Kakashi chuckled. "Well, when you figure it out, why don't you explain it to the rest of us."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked, confused. Sakura was watching Iruka eat thoughtfully.

Halfway through her bowl of ramen, she gasped.

"Ah! I get it!" She dove into her pocket with one hand, pulling out a single marble. Naruto was staring at her, ramen hanging forgotten halfway out of his mouth, in utter confusion. Sakura palmed the small bit of glass, and closed her eyes in concentration. The marble heated quickly in her palm, and she let it go, pushing it down the counter towards Iruka. It rolled silently, but Iruka smiled, and reached out and grabbed it easily as it rolled by.

"Clever girl." He commented wryly. Sasuke could be heard swearing softly under his breath.

"Did you see what she did?" Kakashi asked Sasuke. Sasuke frowned, and didn't answer.

"Huh? Huh!" Naruto was beginning to look agitated as the other's secret floated blissfully over his head. "What's going on! How could Iruka-Sensei catch that marble if he can't see!" Behind the counter, the shop owner glanced their way curiously. He had noticed the way Iruka's eyes were covered, and had eaves dropped on the group, quickly figuring out what had happened to one of his best customers.

"Naruto, come here." Iruka turned away from the counter, and Naruto stood from his stool, so that he was almost shoulder to shoulder with Iruka. "Close your eyes, and keep them closed. What do you see?"

"Black…kinda reddish…"

"Can you feel my presence?"

"Of course." Naruto answered, frowning.

"Focus on my chakara…but not all of it. Try and find my center, and differentiate it from my hands or my face." Naruto nodded, scrunching his face up in concentration. Iruka held up a hand. "Keep your eyes closed, but touch my hand." Naruto reached out, putting a single fingertip to Iruka's palm. Iruka smiled proudly. "Tell me, how did you know my hand was there, and not on the countertop, or at my side?"

"I followed your chakara." Naruto answered, slowly. He still didn't understand, but it was beginning to dawn on him.

"What color was it?" Iruka asked quickly, not giving Naruto the time to think.

"Grayish blue." Naruto answered, then started. He almost opened his eyes, but caught himself. "Err-!"

"Good. Now, forget me for a second, and I want you to go down inside of yourself. Not just down to your own chakara center, but way deeper than that. Past where Kyuubi lives, far enough into yourself that you can look back out and see both your chakara and Kyuubi's. Naruto shivered, concern and fear crossing his face, but he nodded, following Iruka's instructions. It took him a moment to stretch that deeply into himself, but Naruto found it oddly peaceful when he did. "Now, don't move from there, but look out. Find yourself." Naruto nodded.

"I'm right there."

"Find me." Naruto scrunched his eyes further shut, resisting the urge to open them. Outside of his little world of concentration, Sasuke, Sakura and even Kakashi watched the pair in silent fascination. Finally, Naruto smiled. "There you are."

"Tell me something about me. From how I look to you now."

"You're blurry. Just…that grayish blue, but brighter at your center…your heart is almost white…" Naruto said softly, face filling with wonder.

"Good. Find Kakashi-Sensei." Naruto frowned.

"Where…" Kakashi had stood and moved quietly to stand behind Naruto at Iruka's directions. Sasuke and Sakura remained deathly silent. "…Behind me?" Naruto realized that it was behind him, but that he did not have to turn around.

"Yep." Kakashi said.

"Tell me something about Kakashi-Sensei." Iruka said softly.

"He's more blue…and brighter, I think…"

"Good." Iruka glanced at Sasuke to see the chakara still welled brilliantly within his eyes. "What about Sasuke?" Naruto found it easier to reach out into the room, and bristled.

"Get rid of those creepy eyes, you jerk!" Naruto barked. Kakashi and Iruka chuckled. The chakara in Sasuke's eyes faded to a cooler blue. "He's standing." Naruto added. Sasuke sat down suddenly. Iruka smiled.

"What's outside?"

"Huh?"

"What's outside, Naruto. Stretch a little." Iruka repeated. Naruto took a deep breath. His hands were shaking a little, but he ignored it.

"Eeeh… bunch of people… a…I think it's a dog…"

"Now come back." Iruka said gently, touching Naruto's shoulder. Naruto opened his eyes, blinking.

"…Wow!" He hugged Iruka fiercely around the neck. "That was awesome, Iruka-Sensei! How'd you ever figure that out!"

"Necessity is the mother of all invention…" Kakashi said wryly.

"I had to find Kakashi so I started feeling out for his chakara, and ended up getting a visual…I pretty much did it instinctively, and have been forcing myself to stretch it as an ability ever since. As you could probably tell, I'm still more than handicapped visually." Iruka said. Naruto nodded.

"Everybody looked like ghosts…" He said. "But why'd you have me do it…and not like Sasuke or Sakura…they're both smarter than me…" Naruto said softly.

"Maybe, or maybe not. But I knew you had the stamina to do it. It's taxing."

"Yeah, my hands are shaking."

"Eat another bowl of ramen and you'll feel better." Iruka said "I'm taking a break as well."

"Tired out?" Kakashi asked, moving back to sit beside Iruka.

"Yeah…"

"It's amazing you tapped into that latent ability so fast," Sakura said in awe.

"I was desperate… nothing but blackness everywhere gets lonely…" Iruka said softly. His shoulders were sagging and his fatigue was quite clear. Kakashi stood up again.

"I think it's time to go home now…" He said. He turned to meet the eyes of his students when Iruka didn't argue. "Naruto got the practical, but I know you two," He said to Sakura and Sasuke in turn, "are clever enough to figure this out on your own. Practice this like it's a new jitsu. I imagine that in the months to come, that Iruka-Sensei will have many new insights for you guys that you should all take to heart. You never know when you too may be in the dark, permanently or otherwise. If you want to have fun with it, try some night-time sparring. We have a new moon coming up soon, I believe." Team Seven nodded in unison, all a little wide-eyed. "Come on, Iruka-San," Kakashi finished, lightly wrapping one hand around Iruka's arm. Iruka stood, and let Naruto and Sakura hug him. After a pause, Sasuke gave him a half-hug as well.

"Good luck, Iruka-Sensei." Sasuke said in a low voice. He glanced up at Kakashi darkly, making Kakashi blink and step back a little in surprise.

"Take care, Iruka-Sensei!" Sakura chirped "Make sure Kakashi-Sensei treats you good!"

"Yeah, or we'll kick his ass for you!" Naruto added. Iruka laughed. Kakashi had paled a few shades.

"Hey hey! Don't worry you guys! I'm taking good care of Iruka-Sensei." He paused, glancing over at the Chuunin a little anxiously. "Right?" He added worriedly. Iruka nodded.

"Yes. Things are going just fine you guys, don't worry. Tsunade-Sama set me in Kakashi-Sensei's care for a reason."

"Okay," The trio said in unison. Iruka inclined his head in Kakashi's direction.

"Let's go." He said softly. Kakashi tightened his grip on Iruka's arm, saluted his students with his free hand.

"Later." In a plume of smoke, the two sensei were gone.

"Wow…" Sakura said softly. "That was amazing…what was it like, Naruto?"

"It was weird…and tiring…" Naruto held up one of his shaking hands. "It'll take a long time for Iruka-Sensei to get strong enough to use that all the time…"

"You going to practice?" Sakura asked. Naruto grinned.

"Hell yeah!" He threw a fist into the air.

Iruka and Kakashi teleported directly back to Iruka's living room, and the second they arrived, Iruka collapsed.

"Whoops!" Kakashi caught him easily, pulling the younger man up into his arms. Iruka twitched as his face was pressed against Kakashi's chest, but couldn't find the strength to lift it away, either. Kakashi picked Iruka up off the ground, moving back towards the bedroom. "You overdid it."

"I know…but it was worth it…" Iruka could feel himself shaking all over. Kakashi's grip tightened on him a little

"You make everything you do into a lesson…" Kakashi commented. Iruka tried to shrug but mostly failed. "…I'm glad somebody can still make those kids think." Kakashi added wryly. "They just glare at me and call me an idiot or a bastard."

Kakashi hadn't quite realized that the disrespect hurt, until he said it out loud to someone else, and his throat closed, just a little.

"They'll grow out of it." Iruka said, not taking sides. Kakashi reached Iruka's bed side, and laid him out gently, pulling up the covers around Iruka's chest. The back of Kakashi's hand brushed Iruka's jaw lightly, and Iruka jumped slightly.

"Take a nap till dinner…you fried your chakara supply pretty well." Kakashi said, pretending he hadn't noticed.

"Yeah…" Iruka said, rubbing at his chin. Kakashi left the room, and Iruka let himself drift into sleep.

And woke up four hours later screaming.

Kakashi dropped the rag he'd been holding and dashed down the hall, nearly slipping, and into Iruka's bedroom.

It was lucky for Iruka that he'd fallen asleep with the forehead protector still tied firmly around his eyes, because presently, he was clawing at his eyes through the fabric with both hands. Kakashi skidded up to Iruka's bedside, and dropped heavily to his knees on the mattress, grabbing both of Iruka's wrists. Iruka wailed, wrenched his right arm free of Kakashi's grip and managed to get a clumsy hit in.

"LET GO!" Iruka screamed. Kakashi hissed in pain but didn't let go of Iruka.

"I will when you wake up!" He called, shaking the man. Iruka snapped away from him, slapping Kakashi's hands away from his body, and backed up to the far edge of the futon, curling up and shaking. "Iruka…" Kakashi said softly, reaching out and brushing Iruka's wrist with a single fingertip. Iruka jumped, gasping, but remained calm.

"I hit you, didn't I…?" Iruka asked, voice suddenly soft again.

"…Yeah…"

"I'm sorry."  
"I'm sorry I scared you." Kakashi countered still subdued. Iruka was still shaking, and he hugged his knees. Kakashi crawled over to Iruka, pulling him up against his chest. Iruka struggled weakly.

"W-what are you doing…?"

"Come on…" Kakashi stood, carrying Iruka again. "Sleep alone isn't going to fix this… you're fried…" Iruka didn't answer, just kept his face averted from Kakashi's. "…You okay…?" Kakashi asked. Iruka still didn't answer him. "…Iruka…?"

"…You…" Iruka began, turning even further away from Kakashi and lowering his voice, "…touch too much…" It was an uncomfortable and awkward admission. Kakashi almost stopped walking, stunned. He hurried quickly to the kitchen, setting Iruka down in one of the chairs at the table.

"I'm sorry…" Kakashi said softly. He wanted to say more. Explain himself or _something _but it was all either too obvious, or lame, or untrue… So he said nothing more.

"Why do you do that, anyway?" Iruka asked. Kakashi shrugged, and caught himself.

_Isn't it obvious…?_ "Dunno." He answered softly. Iruka frowned, and Kakashi approached with a plate of food before Iruka could interrogate him any further. "Here…" He dropped a fork near Iruka's hand, and the brunette went to pick it up, but his hand shook terribly. Iruka frowned more, focusing on stilling his own hand, but failed. The fork rattled against the porcelain of the plate. Iruka swore.

"I… I can't do this tonight…" he said, voice almost pleading. Kakashi sighed, gingerly removing the fork from Iruka's hand.

"I'm sorry…" Kakashi said, gently pressing food into Iruka's mouth. Iruka scowled, but didn't argue. Kakashi's own hand trembled slightly, but he managed to still it. His left eye wept as well. That was beyond his control. He fed Iruka in almost total silence. "Things will get better, Iruka…" Kakashi whispered.

"…_When_?" Iruka breathed back. Kakashi couldn't say.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN:

1. The key thing I want to mention here, before someone beats me to the punch, is Iruka mentioning Kyuubi. Yeah.. a little weird... I dunno either. It happened. Either Sasuke and Sakura didn't hear, or didn't get it, or whatever. But I didn't want to change that, because it /is/ a deeper level of Naruto. Like I've said before, AUish. (grins) That, and, artistic license. lol.

2. YAY! MORE AND MORE AND MORE ANGST! WILL IT EVER GET BETTER!

...probably not.

Actually, it WILL because I don't really plan on this to be eternal unrequited love but, if you haven't noticed, Kakashi-Sans' going to have to work his little ninja ass off to get what he wants.

3. Excuse any mistakes, It's been a while since I've even written on this fic (a while as in a week) and I don't remember how many times I proof-read this chapter, so it may be OK, it may be a little choppy. Duno. Too tired to go back and look, but I thought everybody'd like an update. :)

4. ...I think this chapter is shorter..Oo seems shorter. Oh well. (shrug)


	6. Chapter 6

6

Kakashi sat on Iruka's couch, staring at a picture of Iruka and Naruto together at Ichiraku's, taken shortly after Naruto's graduation. It was an image filled with joy: good times and a certain innocence that only Iruka, and freshly graduated gennins seemed to have. Naruto's eyes were so much softer, so much more childish than they were now, even though it hadn't been all that long ago that the picture had been taken. Iruka, in the picture, was smiling so hard his eyes were closed and his cheeks were flushed endearingly. Judging from how the framed photograph was placed in a central part of the room, Kakashi guessed that it was especially important to Iruka. It pained him to know that Iruka would never actually see the picture again. He hoped that the Chuunin looked at the picture enough to have it memorized in his mind, for his sake.

It was late, and Iruka had already gone to bed an hour ago…officially, anyway. He was incredibly drained from his visit with Kakashi's students, and still hadn't recovered after dinner. Kakashi sighed, rubbing his face. If Tsunade found out, she'd kill him. Iruka was supposed to be getting _better_ not completely draining himself of all his energy. Even still, to see Iruka smile as he talked especially with Naruto, but the other's as well, had been worth the possible flaying he might receive later. Kakashi sighed, sinking back on the couch and closing his eyes. He was unusually tired, considering how things normally went for an active Jounin, Sensei, and former ANBU. Normal work for Kakashi usually meant at best dealing with a trio of uncooperative, yelling teenagers. Worst case scenarios usually were comprised of something like a gaping, open wound, struggling to survive for several days, and something unpleasant like bad weather, or leeches.

The worst this mission had thrown at Kakashi was the occasional pot or pan that needed extra soaking after dinner. So why was he so tired?

'_You touch too much…' _Kakashi winced as the memory suddenly washed up in his brain like a tsunami. Kakashi thought he'd been rather conservative in the hands-on department, but it was hard when all he wanted to do was wrap Iruka up in a blanket and hug him until the cows came home. _Don't think about that!_ Kakashi groaned. _Lord knows he needs it, though…_ Kakashi's inner critic told him that he'd better go and find Naruto to hug his Iruka-Sensei half to death, then, because if Kakashi tried it, he'd probably get his arms ripped off. Indeed, Kakashi knew better. Iruka, sweet and lovable as he could be, had something of a split personality. Kakashi had seen the man practically breath fire, when crossed. He _so_ wasn't going there.

_Then you'd better be careful,_ He reminded himself. _He already hates you, don't piss him off even more by getting all touchy-feely with him when he doesn't want it…not from you, anyway…_

"…Shit." Kakashi grabbed one of the pillows he'd knocked off the couch earlier up off the floor and smashed it down over his face in a feeble attempt at smothering himself. Why did he have to fall for someone who wasn't even batting for Kakashi's team?

Wallowing in depression, Kakashi unintentionally fell asleep sprawled across Iruka's couch.

Iruka awoke the next morning to a very quiet home. And a headache, as usual, but he tried to ignore that. He hadn't woken up screaming, and he hadn't woken up to Kakashi messing with him, so it couldn't all be bad, right? He felt better, too. For starters, he was actually able to sit up. Lifting his-Kakashi's- hitai-ate up off his eyes he turned his head towards his bedroom windows, and peeled his aching eyes open.

White.

The sudden brightness of sunlight attacking those battered nerves in his eyes stung, and Iruka clamped his eyes shut again, wincing. At least he knew it was daytime.

"Eeh…What time is it…?" He asked aloud, more than partially expecting Kakashi to answer. When he was greeted with only silence, Iruka frowned. "…Kakashi?" Nothing. Relaxing, Iruka stretched out _looking_ for the man. He was on the couch, twisted uncomfortably, and apparently asleep still. Iruka got up, deciding that if he'd woken up on his own accord, than it was also time for Kakashi to get up. He staggered a little as he stood, but regained his balance and moved as quickly as he could through the house. He didn't want to drain himself just trying to get from one side of his home to the other.

Standing over Kakashi, Iruka watched him for a moment.

"Umph…" Kakashi grunted and tossed his head to the side, twisting more in his sleep. Iruka frowned. He looked uncomfortable. No, he _had_ to be uncomfortable, half curled, half sprawled and twisted with his hips pointing one way and his shoulders the other… Kakashi was going to have a sore back when he woke up. "Aah…N--" Kakashi whimpered, surprising Iruka. "No… I…s-sorry…" Iruka let his vision fade to black, and just listened. He could hear Kakashi shift restlessly again, and his moans became more coherent. "I'm s-sorry! Pl--please…don't…" Kakashi let out a single choked sob. "R….'ka… wait…please…" One final gasp and Kakashi sat up. "Wait!" Gasping, Kakashi raised a hand to his face, wiping a few stray tears away and staring down at his trembling hand in horror.

"Kakashi…" Iruka breathed. He stood very close to where Kakashi lay, but had gone unnoticed. Kakashi jumped, cursing in his surprise. Iruka winced. He hadn't realized that Kakashi was so troubled by anything. In hindsight, it was an idiotic assumption to think he wasn't. "…are…are you alright…?" Iruka asked. Kakashi looked away.

"Yeah… I'm fine."

"You were talking in your sleep…" Iruka said.

"Yeah…I do that, sometimes…" Kakashi said, voice remaining hollow and barely a whisper. "What'd I say?" He asked, wondering, given what he had been dreaming, if he'd let anything slip.

"You…were apologizing…you wanted someone to 'wait'." Iruka said. He didn't mention that Kakashi had breathed something that sounded suspiciously like his name. "You…were crying, weren't you…?"

"Yeah…" Kakashi said, sitting up. "Was just a bad dream…" He added. He wiped his face before changing the subject. "How're you doing this morning?" He asked. "See you're back on your feet…"

"I feel much better… What time is it, though? It feels late…" Kakashi glanced at the clock.

"It's almost eleven." Kakashi informed. "I guess we both needed to crash…" He tried to laugh, but it came out a little wet. "I guess I'm making us brunch this morning…"

"Who is it?" Iruka asked suddenly, ignoring Kakashi's attempt at lightening the rather heavy mood they'd woken up to.

"What?" Kakashi breathed, staring up at Iruka, who managed to navigate his way to a clear space on the couch beside Kakashi.

"Who was it you were talking to in your dreams?"

"It doesn't really matter."

"You should apologize to them in person." Iruka said. "If it's bothering you so much that it's giving you nightmares…"

"What if that's not possible?" Kakashi asked, wanting desperately to change the subject. "Almost everyone I've ever held dear are dead."

"They'll still hear you." Iruka said, oddly confident. Kakashi blanched.

"It…it doesn't matter…it's not so much a specific apology anyway…I'm just not good enough." He said softly, then stood and walked away before Iruka could ask any more questions. "I'm making breakfast…lunch…brunch, whatever…" Kakashi called back despondently.

Iruka sat in silence, thinking on what Kakashi had said, and how out of character his words had been. _Not good enough! He's Konoha's best…!_ Iruka didn't understand.

Kakashi hissed, snatching his hand back and holding it to his chest for a brief moment.

"Damn…" He sucked on his burned finger for a moment before going back to the boiling pot in front of him.

He felt numb. And empty. He knew that Iruka had followed him into the kitchen and was, if not per say watching him, then paying very close attention. Kakashi didn't need to turn and look to know the younger man sat at the table behind him, head tilted in his direction. He pretended not to notice, and went about cooking in silence.

Iruka heard Kakashi's whispered oath, and the hiss of pain, and frowned. There had been a time when he'd only wished that Kakashi would shut the hell up, but now he was so quiet. Iruka wished he would at least whistle.

"Kakashi-San…" Iruka said softly. He heard something rattle, and assumed that he had startled Kakashi.

"Yes?" His voice was tight and low. "Break-er, brunch is almost ready, sorry." Kakashi said. Iruka sat back, mildly surprised.

"No, it's okay… You're just so quiet…"

"Sorry." Kakashi said again. He coughed slightly. "Er, well, anyway… here… Incoming." Kakashi placed a bowl of ramen before Iruka. Iruka took a deep breath. It was the home made type, not the instant stuff that Naruto lived off of, and from the aroma, well embellished with meat and vegetables as well.

"Smells good…" Iruka commented, fumbling for his chopsticks until Kakashi pressed them into his hand. Iruka tried not to twitch as Kakashi's fingers brushed his palm.

"Oops. Sorry." Kakashi said, noticing his own blunder. Iruka bit his lip.

"It's alright." Iruka assured. He didn't know why he was trying to reassure Kakashi all of the sudden. It _wasn't_ alright that Kakashi kept invading his personal space. At least, it _hadn't_ been…and it wasn't alright that Iruka suddenly felt so confused. Why did he care if Kakashi was wallowing in his own guilt over something he won't even try to recompense himself? He didn't…not really. But the way Kakashi was acting so much like a beaten dog this morning was bothering him. Kakashi, however, was obviously not going to address the point. Choosing silence, Iruka went to his meal.

It wasn't easy, finding the bits of ramen though the extended brail of his chopsticks, and Iruka eventually gave up after eating most of the noodles. Setting the chopsticks down, he sighed.

"Just drink it." Kakashi said suddenly. "There's no shame in that, and you don't need my help that way…" Iruka caught his breath, realized Kakashi must have been watching him again.

"Er…" Iruka picked up the bowl, brought it to his lips with some effort, and drained it in minutes.

Kakashi watched Iruka polish off his ramen with a bittersweet smile. _At least he's willing to not just give up, and try and adapt._ He thought. _…Probably out of desperation…I can imagine he's probably sick of me by now…_ That thought stung, and Kakashi's throat closed a little. He choked down some of his own ramen, forcing the tight muscles in his throat to loosen up. _You should be happy that he's going to be alright…_He admonished himself silently. "You want more?" He asked aloud. Iruka shook his head in negation.

"No, I'm fine, thanks." He said, possibly forcing out the politeness. Iruka was like that. He could be polite and formal when he needed to be, and nobody would be the wiser to what he really thought about you. Unless you caught his eyes. Then they would avert themselves, and his cheeks would pinken, and Kakashi would know he was hiding something, or lying. Kakashi mentally slapped himself for the blindfold.

But maybe it was better this way. Iruka had been given little to no privacy since he'd been in Kakashi's care. At least he could keep his emotions private. Silence stretched across the kitchen table, like a million miles for every inch of wood. Kakashi sank in his chair silently.

"You should go out and see the kids today," Iruka said suddenly, his voice calm and pleasant. Conversational. "You have barely gotten out all week. See some sunshine."

"But--" Kakashi began.

"I'm okay for a little bit on my own, Kakashi." Iruka said firmly. "You need to get out. I can tell." Kakashi rubbed his face, tugging his mask back up into place. He left it down more and more when he was around Iruka, for the obvious reason that the Chuunin would never know if it were up or down anyway, and sometimes he found himself almost forgetting to put it back up.

"Do you want to come too?" Kakashi offered.

"Nope." Iruka said cheerfully. "If you don't go out for a little bit on your own, I'll kick you out. You're getting depressed in this dark little apartment." Kakashi snorted.

"I don't get depressed!" He said, bravado thick in his voice. Iruka arched a well-aimed eyebrow at him.

"So that's why you weren't crying in your sleep this morning, and haven't said much more than offering food and apologies since." Iruka said flatly. Kakashi felt that the scowl that crawled across his face was justified.

"You're one to talk, Mr. Has Nightmares Then Goes and Decks Poor Kakashi-Sensei Half Out of His Wits." Kakashi countered rather bitterly. Iruka winced.

"Ok. You win. Scratch that, but you're still depressed, I can tell, so don't bother trying to deny it."

"How would you know? You can't even see my face. I might be grinning my ass off right now and leading you on." Kakashi said.

"If you were, you wouldn't have told me, you would have let me worry myself into a knot. And I don't need to see. It took you too long to answer me before. You actually had to think up a smart-assed retort instead of letting one come naturally, which means you've been thrown off balance because I'm right."

Kakashi stared at Iruka in shocked silence.

"… Okay. I'm going!" He said finally, giving up. Which, of course, he realized belatedly was another sign of his depression. Kakashi, after all, had an apparently well-known history of roasting Iruka to cinders in verbal sparring matches. He watched Iruka's face, waiting for the smirk to appear, but it didn't. "…Um…Do you want me to bring Naruto back for a visit? I bet he would appreciate a hug from his favorite sensei…" Kakashi asked, voice soft. Iruka smiled.

"Sure. That would be nice."

"Anything else you need, since I'm apparently going out?"

"Bring home a tub of ice cream." Iruka said after a moment's thought. Kakashi blinked. Of all the random things to ask for…

"Er… What flavor?"

"Something you like too. Ice cream is ice cream to me, I like it all."

"Um…Okay." Kakashi was a little confused. "So…Naruto, and Ice cream…?"

"Yah."

"Alright." Iruka listened as Kakashi cleared off the table, and then headed for the door. He must have been as stunned as he sounded, because Kakashi usually just teleported out, and rarely bothered with doors. If anything, he'd go out a window. But this time he used the front door.

"What a morning…" Iruka breathed.

Naruto skipped alongside Kakashi, thrilled that Iruka-Sensei wanted to see him. Kakashi strolled down the street with the blond, a plastic grocery bag with a half gallon of ice cream thumping against his thigh, far more subdued. He'd spent a couple of hours with Team 7 training them, before he'd grabbed Naruto and headed back to Iruka's apartment. He was anxious to return and check on Iruka, but also somewhat nervous about doing so. Had he been gone long enough? He'd nearly been kicked out, after all. Or maybe too long? Was Iruka alright? What if he wasn't, and then Naruto would be there… Kakashi shook his head roughly, trying to quiet the disturbing circle of thoughts.

"Heey, Kakashi-Sensei, are you alright?" Naruto asked. Kakashi snapped out of his haze, looking down at Naruto, who'd stopped walking.

"Yeah. Sorry. Just worrying over silly things." Kakashi said. Naruto frowned gravely, narrowing his uniquely blue eyes at Kakashi.

"That's not like you. You're all stressed out. Usually you're all goofy and stuff…" Naruto observed. Kakashi rolled his eyes at the rather unorthodox but true observation.

"Yeah, I guess so." Kakashi said, deciding that if it was so obvious that even Naruto noticed, that he'd better not try lying.

"Why?" Naruto asked. Kakashi sighed.

"It's difficult taking care of someone else twenty-four seven. Plus, Iruka-Sensei and I don't exactly always get along very well."

"Sakura-Chan said you guys had a big fight before the Chuunin Exams." Naruto said thoughtfully.

"Where'd she hear that!" Kakashi asked, surprised. Naruto wrinkled his nose.

"Ino-Chan told her, I guess."

"Ah." Kakashi said, beginning to walk again.

"So…" Naruto began after Kakashi refused to say more, "What happened?" Kakashi almost didn't answer, but glanced out of the corner of his eye to see Naruto glaring up at him, waiting impatiently.

"Well…He was worried about you guys taking the exam so young, and disagreed with my decision of letting you enter… I guess I got riled into giving him a piece of my mind…" He glanced sideways at the boy at his shoulder again, but Naruto was still staring up at him expectantly. "I…I was unnecessarily cruel to him…" Kakashi said softly, silently bracing himself for Naruto to begin yelling.

"Cruel…?" Naruto breathed. Somewhere inside, the boy wondered if maybe there was a darker side to his sensei.

Kakashi went on. "I've been trying to make it up to him, but it's too late, he already hates me."

Naruto remained unusually quiet.

"If he can forgive me for killing his family, he can forgive you for yelling at him." Naruto said at last.

"You're different," Kakashi countered. "That wasn't you who killed his family, and you both know it."

"But I think he's forgiven the demon, too…" Naruto said softly. "Iruka-Sensei has a big heart like that." He added more clearly.

"Yeah…maybe…"

"Don't get all depressed about it. He's not making it so you can't help him, right? That's your job, right? Just make him stronger." Naruto said.

"Yeah. You're right." Kakashi said. _It's my job. That's it. If I want to get attached, I can do it on both my and Iruka's free time._

"I mean," Naruto went on, interrupting Kakashi's bitter thoughts, "If it was just that once…he'll cool down… I know Iruka-Sensei can be really scary when he's pissed off, but he always goes back to his super-nice self afterwards."

"See, that's the thing. I keep screwing up and pissing him off again. All stupid, little things, too." Kakashi said mournfully. Naruto didn't understand why Kakashi was so upset about this. Usually, he didn't seem to give a shit _what_ people thought of him. The blond shrugged.

"Don't worry about it so much and maybe you'll stop messing up."

"Maybe." Kakashi said, forcing a lighter tone into his voice just as they reached Iruka's apartment. He wasn't going to continue to dump his problems on one of his students. He opened the door, letting himself and Naruto in.

The sight that greeted them made Kakashi smile behind his mask. Iruka sat cross-legged near where his TV resided, on the floor, head tilted to one side and a serene smile on his lips. Music played softly from a stereo that lived in a cabinet under the TV. Iruka turned his head away from the music and towards Kakashi and Naruto when they entered.

"Back already?" He asked.

"Shall we leave for a while longer?" Kakashi replied, feeling nervous. Naruto darted away from his side to kneel on the floor beside Iruka, hugging him. Iruka's smile grew.

"No, I was actually starting to get lonely. It's weird how quiet this place gets when it's empty." He said, turning to hug Naruto more properly.

"Okay. Got your ice cream, I'm going to go put it away for now, I think it's starting to melt…" Kakashi said, wandering out of the room.

"Thanks." Iruka said.

When Kakashi returned to the living room, he found Iruka and Naruto cuddled up together on the couch. The music had been shut off.

"There's not much else to do than eat, sleep, and listen to music right now…" Iruka was telling Naruto. "I might practice my Second Sight, but yesterday I completely wore myself out. I drained my chakara so badly I collapsed and could barely move all day." Oddly, Naruto's face lit up.

"Hey! Hey! Kakashi-Sensei did that once! When we went to Wave Country. He used his funky Sharingan-Eye thingy too much and drained himself. Scared the heck out of everybody. He was just walking along then BAM! he just falls flat on his face in the middle of the road!" Naruto declared loudly. Iruka quirked an eyebrow in surprise. "…Except for Kakashi-Sensei, he was stuck in bed for a couple of days…then he was hobbling around on crutches…Didn't keep the Bastard from making us work, though…" Naruto added, scowling.

"I'm right here, you know." Kakashi said from behind the couch. Naruto turned around to shoot a dirty face at Kakashi.

"Be nice, Naruto." Iruka said, somehow sensing what had transpired. Naruto whined halfheartedly in response, and began to jabber off some story or another to Iruka. Kakashi seated himself across the room and watched the pair, feeling somehow further distanced from Iruka when Naruto was around.

"--And so then Sasuke-Bastard went and--"

"Naruto, you shouldn't call people that."

"But he IS! …ANYWAY….of COURSE he ruined my moment…totally messed up my concentration and then Sakura yelled at me and said Sasuke…" Kakashi drifted in and out of awareness, tuning out Naruto's voice. He thought he'd already heard this story, anyway. Iruka had his arms around Naruto's shoulder, hugging the boy lovingly even as they just talked. He was probably glad for the physical anchor, Kakashi reasoned. He'd never seen Iruka truly cling to Naruto like this before. Closing his eyes for a moment, Kakashi let his mind drift.

Kakashi listened hazily as Naruto's voice began to lower in tone, his words slowing down as the blond sagged against Iruka's chest. Iruka was rubbing his surrogate son's shoulder gently with one hand, and it was putting the boy to sleep despite the early hour. His eyes were drooping heavily, and Naruto continued to mumble, forcing the words out sleepily.

"Shh…" Iruka said, in such a motherly fashion that it made Kakashi's heart ache, just a little. Iruka leaned foreword, kissing the top of Naruto's head, and the boy fell silent. Kakashi felt a jolt go through him, tried to fight off the memories that the sight triggered.

_"S-Sensei…" He hadn't cried, not really, since his father had died, so many years ago. "It…it's my f-fault…" That one notion had haunted him all through the funeral, the reception of which had just ended. It was a weird day for a funeral: Warm and sunny, and at the end of a war. The day seemed so oddly off kilter to the way he was feeling._

_"Nonsense." Came the simple, confident answer. Warm, large arms tightened around his narrow shoulders, and Kakashi wondered if he'd always been this small and simply never noticed before. Believing instantly, he sank foreword into his Sensei's chest, letting the padded vest he wore soak up the rebellious tears. It was against the rules to cry. He was a ninja, he shouldn't cry…but he'd also learned, that sometimes, it's okay to break the rules…Maybe, just maybe, if he'd learned a little sooner, **He** wouldn't have left him so soon…_

_"Why…why does everyone leave me…? First father, now…" He trailed off. He didn't want to say the name._

_"Obito-Kun left us so that you and Rin could live. He died protecting those most precious to him…" Kakashi's tears came harder._

_"I WOULD HAVE DIED! I wish it had been me!" He argued, voice strained and wet. He had to fight back sobbing hiccups._

_"Think about how much that would have hurt Obito…he was a sensitive person…" Sensei said. Kakashi clamped his eyes shut. No, his and **Obito's**__eye. His left eye seemed to be doing most of his crying on it's own. In fact, his left eye hadn't really **stopped** crying since the transplant._

_"…but it **hurts**, Sensei…" Kakashi breathed. "I don't want to be alone…" His Sensei didn't answer him immediately with words, but instead kissed the top of Kakashi's head lightly. It was an almost entirely foreign sensation to the boy, and it made his scalp burn and tingle lightly. His Sensei pulled him into his embrace more firmly._

_"You'll never be alone, Kakashi-kun. You still have Rin and I, remember?" Kakashi went quiet. His parents and Obito were dead, who was next? His Sensei sighed, rocking gently with Kakashi. "Kakashi, you're an excellent ninja, and you're destined to grow into a fine man. You have both your father's, and Obito's legacies to pave the way, and your own spirit and genius to fuel greatness. Not many people know you now, Kakashi, but I don't doubt that one day you will be well known and greatly respected. You will never be alone. I know you feel lonely now, but you have a whole village full of people just lining up to be a part of your family. They just don't know it yet." Kakashi remained quiet, and his Sensei pulled back out of the hug, brilliant blue eyes fixed on Kakashi's mismatched ones. Kakashi was hiccupping silently, and looked away, ashamed. He didn't flinch as tanned fingers tugged down the hem of his mask. The Yondaime and Rin were the only two people alive who'd ever seen Kakashi's face, but he trusted them, felt safe enough to drop his guard with them. He'd trusted Obito, too, despite how much they fought and bickered. They really had been best friends._

_Kakashi drew his eyes back to his Sensei's as a warm hand brushed his face, wiping stray tears away. He knew that the face his Sensei saw was pale and twisted with grief. That his lips were thin and tight, and that the fresh scar, not yet fully healed, over his left eye was red and swollen, the area around it slightly bruised. Sensei reached up, gently pulling off Kakashi's muddy, frayed and fading hitai-ate and stuffed it in a pocket. He the removed his own, and retied it onto Kakashi's forehead, slanting it to cover his left eye, giving the boy a smile. Kakashi took a slow, deep breath, letting the fresh air enter his lungs unfiltered, and dropped his gaze. Sensei's eyes were gentle, his smile sad, his wild, golden hair falling even more freely over his face as he hugged Kakashi once more, briefly, then tugged the boy's mask back up to it's proper position._

_"You'll never be alone," He repeated confidently, giving Kakashi's new headband a small adjustment. "I promise."_

Kakashi felt his eyes start to sting and water, and wiped at his face irritably. If he didn't clear his head of these depressing thoughts and memories, Obito's eye would start to cry soon.

_Why did the one part of you that survived have to be your crybaby side!_ He thought to his long-dead friend with mixed mirth and sincerity. Obito, of course, didn't answer. His thoughts turned to the Fourth Hokage. _I hope you didn't break your promise, Sensei…I sure feel alone right now…What do I do?_

On the couch, Naruto was snoring in a heap against Iruka, who was more or less pinned.

"Kakashi-San?" He asked softly, so as not to wake Naruto. "Are you still there?"

"Yeah." Kakashi's voice cracked slightly, and he winced. Iruka frowned.

"Are you alright?" Kakashi coughed, clearing his throat.

"Yeah. Just had a catch in my throat." Kakashi lied. Iruka shrugged slightly, shifting to pull Naruto up into his arms.

"Would you take Naruto-kun home for me? There's a key to his apartment on a hook by the front door. It's got this goofy frog key chain on it, I think…" Kakashi stood, moving to take the boy from his ward's arms.

"Yeah, I'll be back in a minute." Kakashi said. Iruka nodded. Naruto, though his sleep was disturbed slightly, only snored with increasing volume. Kakashi repositioned the growing young man in his arms, juggled Naruto's apartment key, the front door, and the boy, for a moment and then vanished.

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

AN: Ugh...Childhood flashbacks. yes, it is that bad. Why? Because I absolutely love both Yondaime and Obito and I had to get them in here at least a little. lol.

Status on Fic: Just finished chapter 10 and started in on 11. Between then and now, yes, it does get worse. Shit hits the fan Ch. 10. Hopefully, after that, things will get better.

Until then, you have five more chapters of angst. lol. Increasing angst. but it does get better! HONEST! I made it get better! just there in ch. 11! I'm proud of me! lol.

As of today, I'm 2 pages into ch. 11 and the fic in its entirity is 80 pages long. whoo. I think most of my fics average about 75 pages. lol. I'm getting more in depth.

NOTE: If Kakashi seems uncharacteristically emotional, it's for a reason. He has to break down before he can be built up again.

thanks to all who've read and reviewed. I'm getting some really great comments:)


	7. Chapter 7

7

Kakashi stared down at Naruto, still sound asleep as he walked back to the boy's apartment, tracing his features thoughtfully. The blond reminded him so much of both of _them_ with Naruto's almost uncanny resemblance -Kakashi often wondered about this- to the Fourth Hokage, and his headstrong, outcast personality almost identical of that which Obito had. Sometimes, it was almost torture for Kakashi to see his friends in the boy's face every single day, but for the most part, he'd let go. Sort of. He was in the process of moving on, clinging to Iruka as his salvation.

When Kakashi had first met Iruka, the Chuunin had exasperated him, ruffled his feathers and threatened his ego. He was so different around Kakashi than all the others- Kakashi saw this. He saw Iruka smile sweetly to every other nin that crossed his path, but not for Kakashi. He figured out later that Iruka still felt strongly protective of Naruto, and was somehow under the impression that the boy's well being was threatened by Kakashi's position as his sensei. And yet, despite it all, Kakashi had still found himself drawn to Iruka. He learned how he could let the lower-ranking nin drop his guard - all he had to do was act like someone who _wasn't _Hatake Kakashi. He told Iruka every little thing about Naruto's progress, whenever he could, reminded the brunette that the boy still loved him, Naruto made this very clear with his endless jabbering. Iruka would grin and blush sweetly, and Kakashi found himself looking for things to report to this sweet, blushing ninja to make him blush more. Or better yet, to smile. Not that polite grin he fixed on his face for everybody, but the one that reached his eyes, tinged his cheeks a rosy hue of warmth. He tried so hard to be nice.

But, eventually, he blew it. It had only been once, really, that Iruka challenged Kakashi, but it had been enough for the Jounin's ego to kick in to overdrive to defend itself. Iruka's concern had been valid, Kakashi reflected, and he had just _roasted_ the poor man.

_You stupid shit._ Iruka hadn't bothered with the polite smiles anymore, and when Kakashi tried to make him smile for real, all he received was the cold shoulder. He had it coming, really. Kakashi sighed heavily, closing his eyes as he walked for a moment, then glancing back down at Naruto, who had curled his boyish fingers into the collar of his shirt slightly, clutching at it as if it were his favorite blanket. No doubt that that's exactly what Naruto thought it was. If he knew he was clinging to Kakashi in this manner, he'd probably freak out.

"Why does he hate me, Naruto…?" Kakashi breathed, the sound barely escaping his lips. Naruto shifted, rubbing his face into Kakashi's shoulder slightly.

"Mmph…doesn't hate you…" Naruto answered, stunning Kakashi. He'd thought the boy was out cold. Kakashi pulled Naruto a little closer for a split second.

"No…he hates me. But don't worry about it. We can deal." Kakashi whispered back. Naruto, still half asleep but listening, made a face of obvious disagreement, but said no more.

When Kakashi returned from his errand, he found Iruka back by the stereo, music again playing softly. He was a little surprised to see Iruka turn his face up as he approached, apparently quite aware of Kakashi's presence.

"You're doing pretty good, to manage that all by yourself." Kakashi commented, seating himself on the now vacant couch.

"Actually, that's one of the weird little hobbies of mine," Iruka said. "I used to sit out here on the couch and listen to music with the lights out. You can see the stars out the window-" He pointed past Kakashi's shoulder and the Jounin couldn't help but turn and look. "that way. I got pretty good at managing the sound system by brail. I guess I'm lucky." Kakashi quirked a brow. "Or just plain weird," Iruka added after Kakashi failed to respond verbally.

"You're not weird." Kakashi said dismissively. "In fact, I think you're one of the most normal ninja I know."

"Is that a compliment or an insult?" Iruka asked flatly.

"It's a blessing." Kakashi said. "I wish I were normal." Iruka frowned slightly, thinking that over. Kakashi realized that maybe he didn't want Iruka thinking too hard on that, and stood again. "How about some of that ice cream?" He asked, pushing a certain lightheartedness into his voice that he wasn't exactly feeling at the moment. Iruka's serene little smile returned.

"That'd be nice…" He crawled to his feet slowly, swayed a little, but otherwise held his balance. Kakashi watched Iruka from where he stood, a small smile creeping over his face. Iruka's face turned to his almost suddenly, and Kakashi had the eerie notion of being watched through the blindfold. He fought back a shiver. Iruka maneuvered away from the stereo and around the couch easily, and led the way into the kitchen.

"You've been practicing." Kakashi commented.

"A little." Iruka replied, seating himself, though he fumbled slightly, bumping the kitchen table. "I still haven't gotten it…" He went on, "And I can't hold it very long…it's tiring."

"I can imagine." Kakashi passed the table and went to the freezer. Iruka shivered just a little as the freezing air spilled out onto the floor, crossing his bare ankles for a few moments until Kakashi shut the door again with a muffled clap. He listened to Kakashi's sandals slap lightly against the tile floor, as he often did, and to the clatter of bowls and silverware, and a few more obscure sounds before Kakashi returned to him. Even with his secondary vision dropped for the moment, Iruka could sense Kakashi's chakara, intensely hot at his shoulder. The man's presence was acutely familiar to Iruka now, as it was all he had known for a week. To be able to sense Kakashi's presence so easily was oddly comforting to Iruka. He felt the heat of Kakashi's arm pass in front of him as he set down a bowl of ice cream and a spoon near Iruka's right hand.

"There you go." Kakashi said cheerfully. Iruka took the bowl and spoon up in either hand, still listening as Kakashi perched up on his favorite stool -he rarely sat in ordinary chairs, Iruka noticed. Apparently, he liked to perch a little higher up off the ground, even if only by a few extra inches. "Tin Roof Sundae" Iruka blinked behind his blindfold, and took a sample.

"Ooh!" Kakashi laughed at his candid response.

"Don't tell me you'd never tried this, what being a sweet freak and all?"

"I hadn't…"

"Well, fixes that, doesn't it?" Kakashi asked. Iruka nodded.

"Takes me back to being a kid," Iruka said happily. "Used to try and sample a new flavor of ice cream every chance I got, until I became a Genmin and was put on a team, anyway. After that I was too busy for ice cream most of the time." Kakashi was thinking about how he had sort of missed _his_ childhood. By the time Iruka had become a Gennin, Kakashi had been a Jounin for some time, and possibly, depending on the time of year, had even been a member of ANBU already. He fought back his hovering depression and listened to Iruka. "I don't know why I thought I was too busy for fun after that…Probably why I stayed so depressed over my parent's death for so long." Iruka lifted his well-tanned face. "Ice cream fixes everything, you know."

"No, I didn't." Kakashi said, staring down at his own bowl. It was starting to melt from the heat of his hand, just slightly.

"My mother told me that once…" Iruka said thoughtfully, voice saddening slightly. "I didn't believe her at the time - I was just glad for the excuse to get a treat -but I swear she's right." Kakashi, feeling suddenly bitter, wanted to point out that it wouldn't fix Iruka's eyes, or bring their dead loved ones back, but he kept his mouth shut and when still the urge to say something cruel bubbled in his throat, he stuffed a large scoop of ice cream down it instead. The frozen sweet chilled his chest into knots, and he gasped slightly, but it had been just the distraction he needed. Fighting back brain freeze, Kakashi put down the bowl and rubbed at his head with both hands.

"Aaah…" He groaned, and Iruka smirked knowingly.

"You're eating it too fast."

"It was an accident." Kakashi whined. It was. Sort of.

"It's karma for not savoring it." Iruka teased.

"Shut up and eat your ice cream." Kakashi muttered, rubbing his head once more before carefully going back to his own bowl again. He grew distracted, however, as he watched Iruka eat.

_Don't go there, stupid…_Inner Kakashi warned. Kakashi kept watching. Inner Kakashi started running around in circles in his mind, clanging loudly on a huge bell, yelling '_Warning! Warning!_' Kakashi ignored it. Iruka, oblivious, continued his oddly delicate progress. Kakashi felt his mouth open, knew he was going to say something, imagined it was probably going to be incredibly stupid, but for the life of him, couldn't stop it from coming out.

"You eat like a bird." He said. Iruka paused, spoon still pressed into his mouth, and turned again to face Kakashi. His movements were finally becoming more relaxed and natural, Kakashi noted.

"Um…" He began. Kakashi winced.

"Erh… yeah… No clue why I said that." Kakashi admitted.

"Aren't you supposed to be a genius?" Iruka countered, brow furrowed. "And what the hell does 'eat like a bird' mean, anyway?" _And furthermore, why are you watching me eat?_ He added silently.

Kakashi didn't need any sort of telepathic connection with Iruka to hear the unspoken, final question. He winced.

"Um…Never mind." He said hastily. Iruka frowned. "You're just savoring it, huh? Silly me." Kakashi leapt from his stool, hurrying to the sink where he deposited his dishes with a dull crash. Iruka twitched, but nothing sounded broken, so he didn't get mad. Turning from the sink, Kakashi headed further back into the house.

"Where are you going now?" Iruka asked, a little exasperated.

"Gotta pee." Kakashi called back, then winced again. Iruka flushed in embarrassment.

In the bathroom, Kakashi locked the door, put down the toilet seat, and sat down, elbows on his knees, chin in his hands, and heaved a sigh.

_Constantly being around him is melting your brain… You need help…_ He thought to himself. Briefly, the faces of Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto flashed into his mind, but he nearly screamed in horror at the thought. Those three were _not_ the ones for the job. Sure, Kakashi had a considerable reputation for mischief himself, but _Those Three_ were the exact embodiment of utter, unstoppable _chaos_. Iruka would first kill Kakashi for his idiocy, then, most likely, himself, in the first twenty four hours. No amount of love for Naruto would save even the endlessly tolerant Academy Sensei. _Okay…scratch **that**… _Staring at his hands, Kakashi racked his brain.

Alone in the kitchen, Iruka was starting to wonder if maybe Kakashi had fallen in, and somehow couldn't swim, and drowned. The ice cream long gone, he fidgeted with his spoon, turning it over in his hands, or sucking on it around a frown, feeling the contours with his tongue. He was starting to worry…just a little.

Eventually, Kakashi sat up, smiled a little, and turned, still seated on the toilet, and dug through the closest drawer. Pulling out a razor, he smiled at it, before easily slicing one hand. Hissing-it stung- Kakashi discarded the bloodied razor, and with his good hand, produced a scroll from Hokage-only-knows-where, unraveled it with a flick of his wrist, and drew his bleeding palm down it's surface. Dropping it to the floor and forming several hand seals as it fell, he slammed both palms over it and poured in his chakara.

Seconds later Pakkun appeared, staring lazily up at his master.

"What?" The little pug asked sleepily.

"You're getting lazy." Kakashi commented.

"It's your fault." Pakkun countered. "…Why the hell are you locked in a bathroom?"

"Long story."

"Ah _huh._" The pug commented sarcastically. "So who's bathroom is it, anyway? I _know_ it's not yours…"

"Iruka Sensei's."

"….Kakashi, you are my master and I hold unfathomable respect for yo-"

"Suuuure"

"-You, but I'm beginning to doubt your sanity." Pakkun went on, unperturbed by Kakashi's interruption.

"You don't need my sanity to do as I tell you," Kakashi said, feeling a little irritated. Too much of his own personality had rubbed off on the little fleabag now perched on his knee. "I need you to send out Tomodachi, alright?" Pakkun frowned.

"Why him? He's no good in a fight, too much of a softie." The pug commented.

"He's one of your brothers so be nice, and I don't need him in a fight, I need him to help me take care of Iruka-Sensei." Kakashi growled. Pakkun was irking him.

"When ever did Iruka-Sensei need taking care of, and by _you_ of all people?" The nin dog asked.

"He's gone blind." Kakashi said gravely.

"Showed him one of your books, did you?" Kakashi's good eye twitched visibly, and Pakkun smirked, then vanished in a poof of chakara smoke. Seconds later, Tomodachi, a much larger dog, appeared at Kakashi's heels, muttering something about bitchy little ankle biters. Kakashi smiled, reaching out to scratch the canine's ears affectionately.

"I need your help, friend." He said. Between himself, and the Great Dane/ yellow lab mix, Iruka's modest little bathroom was rather crowded.

"What's wrong?" The dog asked. It licked Kakashi's hand lovingly, sensing Kakashi's hidden tension.

"I have a man in my ward…he's been recently blinded by poison and is still adjusting. It is my mission to take care of him, but we don't get along well," Kakashi explained. "I need you to help me look after him." Intelligent hazel eyes stared back up at his master's face, and the dog nodded in a very human-like manner.

"For how long?" It asked.

"As long as you're needed. For the immediate time being, please stay around with him as much as possible. Be a pet or a guide or a helper or whatever he needs you to be, alright?" Again, the dog nodded. "I'll still be around, but Iruka-Sensei needs his space from me, I think."

"You're tense." The nin dog said.

"I am troubled by our lack of friendship." Kakashi said simply.

"Perhaps things will get better. For now, I'll be the friend. Let me meet him." Kakashi nodded, reaching over the dog's head and opening the bathroom door. The dog led the way out, but Kakashi stopped him just outside the door.

"Hold on. Let's get this rag off of you…" Kakashi carefully removed the _heno-heno-moheji_ cape from the dog's shoulders, folding it and stuffing it in a pocket. The dog sniffed the air of Iruka's bedroom thoughtfully.

"Your student's been here."

"Yes. He and Iruka-san are like family."  
"Good to know. What's the boy's name?"

"Naruto." Kakashi answered.

"Ah yes."

"Come on…" Kakashi led the rest of the way to the kitchen silently.

Iruka lifted his head from where it had rested in his folded arms, when he noticed Kakashi's presence advancing. Sensing the large animal following in his wake, he straightened up in concern. "I brought someone that you might find more agreeable as a companion…" Kakashi said. Iruka frowned.

"What--?"

"He's one of my nin dogs," Kakashi explained. "He's agreed to help watch over you…that way I won't cramp your space so much. He's smarter than I am, and probably one of the sweetest creatures you'll ever meet." As he spoke, Kakashi tugged on Iruka's sleeve, pulling his arm down to waist level and to the side. Tomodachi came up and nuzzled Iruka's hand gently. His fingers twitched at the touch of the cold, wet nose, but Iruka also quickly relaxed, running his palm up the dog's muzzle and scratching his head. Kakashi stepped back and watched in silence. Tomodachi's tail was wagging happily and he could tell Iruka had already made a friend, even without Kakashi's orders.

"Hello, Iruka-Sensei." Tomodachi said. Iruka started slightly, not exactly used to talking animals, but recovered. "My name is Tomodachi." Iruka smiled, and turned in his seat so that he could face the dog properly, bending down and patting at it's golden-red sides. In minutes, Iruka had sank out of his chair and was sitting on the floor beside it, Tomodachi leaning happily against his side. Nobody said a word, and Kakashi slipped away to the far side of the kitchen, watching in total stealth. He felt a sharp pang of jealousy as he watched Iruka hug his dog, and Tomodachi turned his head in Kakashi's direction, knowing eyes fixing on his face for a moment, before turning back to Iruka, tail thumping softly on the floor.

"Iruka-San," Kakashi said at long last. "I'm going to go back to my apartment for a little while and make sure everything's in order. I'll be back in a little bit. If something comes up, Tomodachi can contact me in an instant." He said, trying not to sound too stiff. His chakara flared, and his presence vanished all together for Iruka. He sighed, climbing back to his feet slowly, mindful of both the table at his shoulder, and the large dog at his feet.

"Thank you for helping Kakashi-San." Iruka said. "I think it's good that he has a little break… I don't think he likes me much." Tomodachi thought to himself that that was the exact opposite of what Kakashi had told him. He wondered if everything had turned into one giant misunderstanding, but for the moment, simply mulled over this new information.

"It's my duty to help him." He said instead. "And besides, I like you. You're nice." He nudged Iruka's hand with his head, and Iruka threaded his fingers lightly into his collar.

"Thank you…can you show me to my bedroom? Sometimes I can use my chakara to sort of make my way around, but I'm pretty low on energy right now…" Iruka said.

"Is that the room adjacent to the bathroom?" Tomodachi asked.

"Err…yeah." Iruka said, walking as the dog led him smoothly.

"Kakashi summoned us in the bathroom."

"'Us?'" Iruka asked.

"He summoned my brother, Pakkun first. Pakkun is his best tracker, so he always appears when Kakashi calls only one of us. If he needs another, Pakkun will call us out as he did with me."

"How many of you are there?" Iruka asked. He'd met Pakkun before, and didn't entirely like the obnoxious little pug.

"Eight in all, including myself."

"That's a crowd…" Iruka commented.

"It's nice to be on my own for a while, yes." Tomodachi said.

Kakashi stood in the center of his two-room apartment, staring into the dark. The air smelt slightly dusty and out of use, but otherwise, all was in place. Stripping down, he left his clothes in a heap on the floor, and went off to relish his own shower for a little while.

Staring up at the heated water pouring down over his face, Kakashi tried to shut out his unsolicited depression with thoughts of how he might drop in on his students and terrorize them for a while. It took some time, and even more effort, but eventually, his depression faded away. Washing up quickly, Kakashi finally shut off the water and stepped back out into his apartment, glancing idly at the clock and grinned. He'd been in there nearly forty five minutes. He hadn't had that luxurious of a shower in a long time. Satisfied, he wandered his room nude and dripping for a few minutes, taking his time getting dressed. He trusted Tomodachi's intelligence and loyalty, and felt secure with leaving Iruka alone with him for any amount of time.

It was this same trust and reliance that allowed Kakashi to return to Iruka's home, only after the Chuunin had already gone to bed, and was fast asleep. Padding through the quiet home, Kakashi silently slipped into Iruka's bedroom to check on him.

His heart cinched painfully.

Iruka lay on his side, curled blissfully against Tomodachi, who was awake and alert, and watching Kakashi silently through the darkness. Iruka was smiling softly in his sleep, his breathing low and even. Tomodachi had been lying still, facing the door with his head in his forepaws, but now lifted his head to acknowledge Kakashi's presence. Kakashi turned away and left the room. He bypassed the kitchen and the couch, and went straight back out the front door. Closing it silently behind him, he paced around the side of the building and leapt onto the roof.

Seated under the midnight-blue sky, he let out a shaky breath and turned his eyes to the freshly appearing stars.

_Move on,_ he told himself. _Just get over it and move on.._ Somehow, the impossible demand he laid on himself only made him feel worse.

OoOoOoOoO

AN: Oops. Sorry...I honestly forgot to update. You can all Thank The Kitty-Kitty who gave me a reminder poke, and a threat for more pokes until I updated.

Things have been...busy. Not hectic, and I've had plenty of time to write, but I've been exceptionally tired --I'm eight weeks into school right now w/o a vacation, and at the peak of my work season (in the agricultural business, I am...sort of...family is...I'm...endentured slave... lol) and so... heh. Well, this isn't the only thing I've been neglecting. I've been lazy, but hopefully things will slow down again for a few weeks before finals (having just gotten through one of seveal, scattered, midterms) sneak up on me... then Christmas Vacation. Yay.

1) Tomodachi - Japanese for 'friend'...and if you go and find one of the pics of Kakashi's nin dogs, I think you'd be able to pick him out. Besides the BIG one, he's the next largest, I think. I'm guessing on the breeds, and Of course, I don't really have a cannon name for him, but... well.

2) It's been so long since I wrote this chapter that I don't really remember all of what happened. Oo


	8. Chapter 8

8

Kakashi didn't return to Iruka's apartment until well into the next morning. Walking into the kitchen, he found Tomodachi trying to verbally direct Iruka's outstretched hand to a box of cereal. Kakashi was about to go and help Iruka when he finally found it himself. Kakashi decided to step back and watch silently. Iruka didn't seem aware of his presence, though Tomodachi gave him a questioning glance. Iruka found the refrigerator and jerked it open. Tomodachi reached up and carefully removed a carton of milk, careful to keep it turned upright -he had to turn his head nearly completely sideways to do so- and pressed it into Iruka's waiting hand.

Minutes later, Iruka stood leaning against the counter with his breakfast, shoveling cereal and milk into his mouth as if there'd never been a day where his eyesight had been impaired. Kakashi couldn't help but feel both proud, and saddened by Iruka's accomplishment.

"Where were you last night?" Iruka asked suddenly, making Kakashi jump. He looked up, realized that Iruka's face was turned directly toward him. He winced. He was getting so used to the weird flares in Iruka's chakara that occured when he used his Second Sight that he didn't always notice now.

"What do you mean."

"I know you weren't here this morning. Where'd you go? You said you'd come back."

"I did." Kakashi said.

"You weren't here." Iruka pointed out. "I checked the whole apartment first thing."

"You did OK without me," Kakashi countered.

"Sort of," Iruka admitted. "So where were you?" His voice was beginning to show some irritation and Kakashi figured he'd better fess up.

"Um…On the roof?" He offered. Iruka balked.

"All night!"

"It was a nice evening." Kakashi said softly. "And Tomodachi there was watching over you so I didn't need to worry."

"You worried us." Iruka said sternly.

"I figured you'd be glad to have me gone for a while." Kakashi said, trying mightily to keep his voice level and casual. Iruka didn't answer him. Kakashi chewed on his lip, trying not to notice how Iruka didn't disagree. "How's your head feeling this morning?"

"Much better." Iruka said. "I slept like the dead last night."

"Good. I'm going to go and report to Hokage Sama later then. She'll be wanting to know how you're doing."

"So professional." Iruka commented dryly.

"Or maybe I'll just go now…" Kakashi said in a low voice, turning his back to Iruka and heading for the door. "You've got breakfast okay, right? If you need something send Tomodachi." He vanished before Iruka could say more.

Iruka stood with his mouth open -he'd been about to speak when Kakashi took off - then scowled.

"Good riddens." He muttered. "Somebody was in a sour mood."

"You were rather cold yourself." Tomodachi pointed out softly. If he'd had hands instead of paws he would have likely slapped both men.

"He started it." Iruka countered bitterly. "Besides, it's not like he cares. He hates my guts. That's why he dumped me on you. Made it a week then couldn't take me anymore. You notice he's hardly been around since he asked you to _help_ him…?"

"I don't think he hates you." Tomodachi said. "I think he's rather worried you hate him, in fact."

"Well, maybe I do." Iruka said, irked that the dog was siding with it's master.

"What a shame…" Tomodachi commented softly, then padded off. Iruka glanced after him, following the pale gray chakara shadow curiously.

_Great. Now I've pissed the dog off, too._ Iruka thought bitterly.

Kakashi slouched into Tsunade's office without a word. Tsunade looked up from her paperwork curiously, surprised to note Kakashi's exceptionally gray complexion. Even the color of his one visible eye had faded to almost nothing.

"You look like shit, Kakashi."

"Thank you. You look wonderful too, Hokage Sama." Kakashi ground out. "I came to report that Iruka-San's headaches have finally abated."

"And what about you?" Tsunade asked. She was contemplating forcing some sort of energizing remedy down the man's throat. He looked pathetic.

"He's also developed a rather clever way of seeing the world through hues of chakara, as he describes it. It's almost a jitsu for him now. He can navigate the apartment for a good five or ten minutes before he wears out. We had ramen with the kids a few days ago, and he's taught it to Naruto as well. I imagine Sasuke and Sakura have picked up the trick by now, too." Tsunade nodded, listening but also duly noting that Kakashi wasn't going to talk about himself at all. She frowned behind a cup of tea, tapping the rim of the cup with a single painted fingernail. "I have one of my nin dogs in his company now. He seems more secure with the dog than me, and he finally woke up better rested this morning. He's been having some horrible nightmares."

"Is that what the shiner's from?" Tsunade asked.

"Huh?" Kakashi's one visible eye lost some of it's glaze and focused on her face in confusion. Tsunade sighed through her nose, rising and walked around her desk to stand before Kakashi. Reaching up, she poked the purple splotch under his right eye that wasn't fully hidden by his mask. He hissed a little from the light pain the gentle prodding caused, then blinked in surprise.

"I hadn't even noticed. It's not like Iruka-San could point it out to me…" Kakashi said. "He did hit me before he woke up from his latest episode."

"How many have there been?"

"About a half dozen." Kakashi answered. Tsunade nodded thoughtfully.

"Put some ointment on that, we don't want the village thinking the famous Sharingan Kakashi got beat up by a blind Chuunin." Tsunade said, only half-jokingly. "And I want you to wait while I fix you up something. You look like shit." She went on, already rising and crossing the room to a large apothecary's cabinet, rifling through the little drawers, pulling out various herbs and roots.

"Yes, you said that."

"Are you eating and sleeping?" Tsunade asked.

"Yes, just fine." Kakashi answered flatly. Tsunade fixed him a look.

"Then what's the problem? Or are you lying?"

"I'm not lying. I'm fine."

"Stress maybe? How are you and Iruka-kun getting along these days?" Kakashi paled.

"…Fine." He said after a telling pause.

"Bullshit."

"Tsunade Sama, with all due respect, I can't help but question your judgment on assigning this to me if you suspected Iruka-san and I wouldn't get along."

"You know perfectly well why you're the man for the job." Tsunade said, her back turned to Kakashi.

"No, I don't." Kakashi argued. Tsunade turned on her heel and fixed him a stern look.

"You care enough for Iruka to help him through such an extremely difficult time." Tsunade said.

"I hate him. And he hates me. I don't see how that's caring."

"Again, utter bullshit, Kakashi. You tell me you aren't lying but you keep giving me this crap. You think I'm stupid!"

"No ma'am."

"Then why the hell did you just tell me you hate Iruka when I _know_ you most certainly do not?"

"What gave you that idea, Hokage-Sama?" Kakashi asked, voice low and flat.

"Answer my question, Hatake." Tsunade hissed.

"…Mind over matter…?" Kakashi relented casting his eyes away.

"Ah. It won't work." Tsunade smirked, moving to a small mortal and pedestal residing near the apothecary closet. She began to laboriously grind the ingredients she'd collected into a powder.

"How did you know." Kakashi whispered.

"It's obvious."

"No, it isn't." Kakashi ground out. Tsunade's smirk grew.

"Well, it is now." Kakashi hissed under his breath in response, thoroughly distressed. "Have you tried just relaxing and not trying so god dammned hard?"

"That's what Naruto told me."

"The Brat's smarter than he acts, Kakashi. You should know that by now."

"…" Kakashi was staring at his sandal clad toes in silence. Tsunade sighed, pouring her freshly made powder into a small envelope and sealing it.

"Mix a little of this into strong tea in the morning, and considerably more in another dose at night. Remember, _strong_ tea. It tastes like dog shit, but it works."

"What is it?" Kakashi asked, taking the package with a rather lifeless grip.

"It's the same mix I give Shizune when I go on vacation, with a few things added in."

"Which means…?" Kakashi asked, frowning.

"It's a mild sedative mixed with various natural pick-me-ups. The result will be a an increase in vitality and a decrease in worries. I will know if you're not taking this, Kakashi." She added sternly. Kakashi scrunched his nose, making his mask bunch slightly.

"I'm _fine_, Godaime Sama." He said stubbornly.

"That's for me to decide and you to go along with." Tsunade said flippantly. "Besides, how can I expect you to accomplish your mission if you wear yourself out? I won't repeat myself. If his strength holds, you should start training Iruka more routinely and directly. Make him focus more on this jitsu of his. I'm sorry you can't figure out how to get along with Iruka-kun, Kakashi, but you're going to have to deal. My orders stand. Good luck." With that, she went back to her desk and picked up a sheet from the waiting pile of paperwork at her elbow. Dismissed, Kakashi turned and drifted silently from the room.

Returning to Iruka's apartment, Kakashi was mildly surprised to find Iruka seated silently by an open window, face turned up towards the sunlight. Tomodachi sat at his knees patiently, keen hazel-brown eyes fixed on Kakashi as he entered through the front door. Kakashi watched him nudge Iruka's knee with his muzzle before rising and padding over to Kakashi, tail wagging slightly.

"…Are you alright?" He asked as he got closer to Kakashi. "You look utterly transparent." It reached Kakashi's side, and nuzzled his hand. Kakashi scratched behind Tomodachi's ears lovingly.

"I'm alright. Just tired, I guess."

"You're a crummy liar, Kakashi." Iruka said from the window. Kakashi frowned.

"Hokage Sama decided she wanted to completely psychoanalyze me. It was a rather trying visit." Kakashi breathed. Tomodachi was sniffing at the package held loosely between Kakashi's pale fingertips.

"What is this?"

"A remedy she expects me to take. Apparently, after looking me over she decided she didn't like what she saw."

"Are you ill?" Iruka asked.

"No. My diagnosis is I, and I quote, 'look like shit.'"

"Do you?"

"I don't know." Kakashi answered honestly. "But she told me twice."

"That's what you get for spending the night on the roof. I bet you didn't tell her that, did you."

"I was more concerned with reporting your state of being to the Hokage rather than my own." Kakashi said tensely.

"And what does the Hokage have to say about my state of being?" Iruka asked.

"She says if your strength holds that we should start routine training soon." Iruka didn't respond immediately, and Kakashi grasped at the one lead he thought he might have. "Which means you'll be getting out more…" He added softly. Iruka shifted in his seat, turning to face Kakashi's voice. "You miss the sunlight, don't you?"

"Yeah…"

"Want to sit up on the roof for a while? It's a nice day." Kakashi offered. He had to swallow against a certain burning pressure high in his chest. Tomodachi was watching him wisely. Iruka was thinking Kakashi's offer over carefully.

"…Yes. That would be nice." Kakashi did his best to walk audibly across the carpeted floor to Iruka's side. He brushed Iruka's shoulder carefully, letting the envelope in his free hand crinkle slightly as a warning. Iruka didn't flinch.

"Ready?"

"Sure." Iruka said, staying perfectly still as Kakashi lifted him from his seat in the window. Kakashi didn't waste a second in teleporting himself and Iruka straight up to the rooftop, where he reappeared in a crouch so he could quickly set Iruka down and give him his space. It was warm up on the roof, and Iruka almost immediately tugged his sweater off. He folded the discarded sweater up and sat on it. Leaning back on his elbows and turning his face skyward, Iruka let out a long sigh.

"You should try taking your blindfold off," Kakashi suggested, "Letting the brighter light stimulate what's left of those nerves would probably be good." Iruka silently tugged the blindfold off, dropping it to his side. It clinked slightly, and sunlight flashed molten gold off of the metal plate into Kakashi's exposed eye for a brief second. There was a soft popping sound at Kakashi's elbow as Tomodachi appeared. He went to Iruka's side, toenails clicking on the terra cotta tiles, and licked Iruka's face. Iruka laughed softly, patting the air until he found Tomodachi, scratching his nose when he finally did.

"I'm going to go back inside for a minute. I'm supposed to take that stuff Tsunade gave me twice a day with tea… Would you like some tea as well?"

"As long as I don't have to take the herbs with it." Iruka said, relaxing.

"You don't, you lucky bastard." Kakashi commented, trying to twist some levity into his hollow voice. He vanished with a louder pop before Iruka could comment.

"Does he really look bad enough to have Tsunade-Sama on his case?" Iruka asked Tomodachi once Kakashi had gone.

"Quite." The dog answered truthfully. "I'll be making sure he continues taking whatever it is she gave him. It smelled rancid and I imagine he'll be stubborn about it after the first dose."

"What's wrong with him?" Iruka asked, a little concern seeping into his voice.

"I think it's depression." Tomodachi answered.

"Depression! Whatever from?" Iruka asked. He couldn't imagine Kakashi getting depressed. The man was the epitome of mirthful resilience. Iruka could remember many a day when he'd seen Kakashi simply smile off his glares with seemingly perfect ease. "I can't see him getting depressed." Iruka said aloud. "He's always so damned…chipper."

"Depression is a human symptom I can't connect with, but I have seen Kakashi like this before, though it's been a very long time."

"Huh…" Iruka couldn't say more because at that moment Kakashi reappeared with two mugs of tea. Iruka couldn't see it, but one was considerably murkier than the other. He handed Iruka the clear cup.

"There you go." He said, pressing the cup into Iruka's hand. "I hope it isn't too hot to hold…"

"It's fine." Iruka said, dropping the discussion he'd held with Tomodachi, but wondering if Kakashi's ears had been burning. He heard Kakashi sip at the tea, then make a slight gagging sound.

"Ugh. She wasn't kidding…" Kakashi gasped. "It really does taste like shit…"

"Smells like it too." Iruka commented. He could smell the odd bitter tang rising over the aroma of their tea. He felt a little bit of sympathy for Kakashi, but it was overpowered by his relief that Tsunade hadn't prescribed _him_ anything.

"You'd better drink that." Tomodachi said sternly. Kakashi grumbled and threw back the whole cup of tea in one gulp, gasping.

"Easier said than done, mutt." Kakashi commented dryly.

"What is it, anyway?" Iruka asked.

"Dunno, really." Kakashi said. He didn't really want to tell Iruka that he did know it was for depression and anxiety, but it was the truth that he didn't know what it was. Not exactly, anyway. "Probably better that I don't. I heard from Genma once that she prescribed him ground up dried steer balls for something. The stuff had worked like a charm, and he'd been dumb enough to ask her later what it was."

"Ugh…" Was Iruka's only comment.

"Yeah…" Kakashi agreed. "My point."

It was true that Tsunade's remedy worked, though Kakashi didn't really realize it himself. Tomodachi watched the complexion of his master deepen to a healthier shade over the next few hours as he sat in mostly silence with Iruka. Furthermore, the tension in Kakashi's shoulders faded and he sat slumped on his elbows staring up at the sky. Occasionally, Kakashi would mumble in undertones detailed descriptions of a cloud or a bird that passed by. Tomodachi reasoned that just a little exposure to sunlight also was likely helping Kakashi as well. It was certainly doing wonders for Iruka. His sour mood -Tomodachi didn't want to admit it, but both men had been rather sour earlier that morning - faded, and he managed to relax a little in Kakashi's presence. Tomodachi lay between them, letting the afternoon sun warm his back sweetly, relaxing all the muscles in his body. He loved lazing about in the sun, especially in the presence of his master. He enjoyed Iruka as well, but being a summon, Tomodachi had a deeper bond to Kakashi. He could feel the ebb and flow of Kakashi's chakara as he relaxed, as if it were his own. He also knew that somewhere the other seven nin dogs also felt it as well, to some extent. But here, Kakashi's own presence was as brilliant as the sun overhead, and Tomodachi could feel it as Kakashi's swimming emotions stilled and settled into something more placid and relaxed. It was a great relief. Kakashi's distress was his distress, and while Tomodachi took this all calmly -it was a part of his existence - he had been bothered by Kakashi's lasting unease. He hoped this calm would last.

"…Kakashi…?" It was the first word Iruka had spoken in over an hour, and Kakashi sat up slightly from where he now lay with his head pillowed on his arms.

"Yeah?" Somehow, Iruka muttering his name like that had made his heart hammer just a little.

"…I'm starting to burn." Iruka said, almost dejectedly. Inner Kakashi slapped himself. Why the hell had he thought Iruka was going to say something more profound? It was so stupid.

_You're worse than Sakura…_ He thought. Sitting up, he gave a sigh. "Alright… Want to go back in, then?"

"I think I'd better." Iruka admitted, straightening up as well.

"Don't stand up, I've got you." Kakashi said. He scooted over and pulled Iruka to his chest. Iruka stiffened just a little in his arms, but as usual, remained quiet. Kakashi teleported them both directly to the couch. Iruka raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Oh."

"There, now you're still cozy." Kakashi said, moving away from Iruka.

"Err, thanks…" Iruka said. He was still a little weirded out by how Kakashi had just sort of scooted up to him and hugged him in order to teleport them both, but he had his space now so he didn't dwell on it.

"No problem…. What?" Iruka had suddenly frowned darkly.

"I forgot the sweater and the hitai-ate on the roof." He said, almost in a whine. Near the couch, there was a soft pop. Kakashi smiled.

"Nope. Tomodachi has them. Good boy." Kakashi said cheerfully, taking the momentarily forgotten items from the dog.

"It always amazes me how forgetful humans can be." The canine said wryly.

"That's because ignorance is bliss." Kakashi commented.

"So is a good belly scratch and a chewing stick, but you wouldn't understand that."

"He might." Iruka said, smirking.

"Hey now--!" Kakashi complained. Tomodachi chuckled softly to himself and wandered off into the kitchen. Iruka could hear his toes clack slightly on the tiled floor. There was a soft thump and a grunt as Tomodachi sprawled out on the cool surface under the table. Kakashi sighed. "You want your sweater?" he asked.

"No thank you."

"I'm going to go put it away, then."

"Thanks." Iruka said. He was settling down on the couch and looked like he might fall asleep. Sunbathing for several hours could do that to a person. Kakashi kicked off his sandals over by the door then worked his way through the apartment to Iruka's room. Once he passed the kitchen, he pulled down his mask and hugged the sweater to his face, taking a deep breath. His throat closed.

_You're an idiot._ He told himself, bringing the sweater down out of his face and letting the breath out shakily. _You're a complete fucking moron for even daring to dream. Get over it and move on._

But he didn't want to.

"What's wrong?" Kakashi jumped, turning to see Tomodachi peering at him through the doorway to Iruka's bedroom.

"What do you mean?" Kakashi asked, playing dumb. The dog narrowed it's shining eyes knowingly.

"I feel what you feel, Kakashi, and I don't understand what's happening to you."

"I don't either. Don't worry." Kakashi said, turning away and stuffing Iruka's sweater back in it's proper drawer.

"Well, I am worrying." Tomodachi said, then, sensing that Kakashi was not about to let him pry further, he turned and wandered back out of the room to leave Kakashi alone.

"Tomodachi," Kakashi called. Tomodachi paused, hopeful.

"Yes?"

"Find out what Iruka-Sensei wants for dinner, would you?" Tomodachi sighed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: a little bit of a break. Really. shit hits the fan next chappie and 10, methinks.

Sorry it took me so long to update.

Life's been really busy. I started my pilot's training last friday! SQUEE! I'ma gunna be a pilot! Got through the tough (ie, boring) stuff already (meaning groundschool -drivers ed for airplanes, but it's practically a different language! ) and now I get to have FUN AND FLY!

...as a result I've been just totally exhausted... lol. So anyway. sorry for the delays.

Someone keeps mentioning lemons... I don't know if I'm going to do a lemon or not. Probably. but I don't know when. stop looking foreword to it, I don't want to dissappoint anyone lol.

R&R I love yous!

MRE


	9. Chapter 9

9

Day ten found Kakashi awake unusually early. He hadn't moved from his sprawled position on the couch, however. In the back room, Iruka was presumably still asleep with Tomodachi, and would be for some time. In the meantime, Kakashi stared at the blue sky through Iruka's living room window, thinking hard. The previous day had been relatively uneventful -Kakashi's depression had been lifting a little due to Tsunade's medicine. Uneventful except for one key event that was catching in Kakashi's mind.

Iruka had managed to quite accurately lob a fork at his head, and if it hadn't been for decades of ninja training, Kakashi would likely have lost his one good eye.

This had led Kakashi to decide that perhaps it was time for Iruka to begin his new training regimen. He had nearly hauled Iruka out of the apartment and out into the forest then and there, and only hadn't because he wasn't quite sure where to begin.

Now he sat staring into space considering just that. Iruka wasn't just another genin he could torture all day, though a sadistic little voice in his head told Kakashi that too might be fun. Kakashi knew, given the incredible spitfire spirit that Iruka possessed, that he had better take the Chuunin seriously. Therefore, he was putting careful thought into the matter.

Iruka's second sight ability was growing daily, and Kakashi was becoming more and more aware of how much Iruka was able to focus in on. In comparison to true eyesight, he was still nearly sightless, but Kakashi was already learning that there were also things that Iruka could see that others could not.

Kakashi's key example for this was, again, the incident with the flying fork. Iruka had managed to distinguish the rude face Kakashi had made at him through his mask, and one of Kakashi's prized _Icha Icha_ books, after Iruka had made a smart-assed comment about his choice of reading material. Neither the book nor Kakashi's mask contained much chakara, and therefore Iruka had seen right through them, almost as if they weren't there at all. Once Kakashi had gotten over his shock, he'd rather excitedly asked Iruka just how much of him he could see.

'Not very much… your features are blurred…I can't really tell your fingers apart from your hand, for example…' Iruka had admitted. 'But I could see _that_ you jerk!' The brunette had pointed an accusing finger at Kakashi's head, and he'd winced.

Kakashi shook his head, shuddering slightly and hugging his book, which he'd slept with, closer to his chest. There was now a dual rule in Iruka's home: No fork throwing, and no porn reading at the table. _I don't think I want him throwing any more sharp objects at me yet…_ Kakashi was still having a hard time not constantly pissing Iruka off. _Just building his stamina, then… _Kakashi didn't think Iruka's chakara stamina was all that high, from what he'd seen, which worried him. He needed to check on the kids again, too. Kakashi was a little terrified to find out what the three might have done to each other in the last week on their own._ Maybe Iruka wouldn't mind romping with the brats for a while…_ He thought. It would certainly hit two birds with one stone, that way…Glancing at the clock, Kakashi finally heaved himself off the couch and shuffled off to wake Iruka up.

"Iruka-Sensei!" Kakashi chirped, throwing the door open without knocking.

"ARGH! DON'T LOOK!" Yelping, Kakashi backpedaled, slamming the door shut again. He ran a hand over his face.

"Good grief…" He muttered, then called through the door. "Damnit! It's not like I haven't seen it all before!" Iruka had been in a rather awkward stage of dressing when he'd entered the room.

"Well, that doesn't mean you get to see it again!" Iruka called back, sounding irritated. "Ever heard of knocking!"  
"I figured you were asleep!" Kakashi cried back plaintively. "I'm sorry!" Kakashi scrubbed at his face with both hands again, trying to rub the slight blush out of his cheeks.

"You can come in, now." Iruka called tersely. Kakashi cracked the door open, slipping in cautiously.

"I'm sorry." He said again. "I came in to find out if you maybe felt up to some training today." Kakashi went on. Iruka stood in the middle of the room, one hand on Tomodachi's head for balance, dressed and blindfold in place. He straightened his back a little at the thought of training.

"I think I could handle that today…at least just to get out…I'm going to go insane…" Iruka said.

"You mind romping with the Brats?" Kakashi asked. "I need to check in on them, so I thought the five of us could work together today…Or not, it's up to you." Kakashi went on, feeling oddly meek. He wanted so badly just to keep from getting in the way of Iruka's happiness for one day. To his great relief, Iruka smiled.

"Sounds fun." Kakashi let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Good…I'll get us some food then and we can head out." Kakashi said, nearly skipping into the kitchen.

"Dobe, what the hell are you trying to do?" Sasuke stared down his nose at Naruto, who was crouched down on his heels staring at a small toad that was gazing from it's perch in the grass. Naruto shifted his eyes to glare up at Sasuke, before returning his gaze to the little frog. Sakura stared at both Naruto and the frog in wonder. It was almost kind of cute, she reasoned…if it wasn't Naruto, it would have been, anyway. She tried to imagine Sasuke being all squatted down and cute staring at a little frog, but she couldn't quite get the image to work -with good reason- in her head. Inner Sakura gave a frustrated sigh, flopping back in exhaustion from the effort.

Naruto blinked as the frog croaked in his face, tilting it's head and peering at him weirdly before jumping away. Straightening up, Naruto turned to shoot Sasuke a glare, but his gaze slid past Sasuke by several hundred yards. Sasuke frowned as Naruto's eyes lit up excitedly.

"AAH!" Raising a hand and pointing as he yelled, Naruto dashed past Sasuke and Sakura, who were both covering their ears in irritation. "Iruka Sensei!" Breaking into a full run, Naruto greeted Iruka and Kakashi with his usual childish enthusiasm. After catching on, Sakura ran up as well, Sasuke sauntering casually after. By the time Sakura caught up with her rambunctious teammate, Naruto was already glued to Iruka's side, hugging his former Sensei fiercely. Iruka was laughing happily, patting Naruto's shoulder.

"Okay, Naruto-Kun. Let go now before I trip and fall, alright?" Iruka said at last, making Naruto pull away reluctantly.

"Did you come out to visit Naruto, Iruka-Sensei?" Sakura asked. Iruka laughed softly.

"I came to train with you today." He said.

"EH!" Naruto's confused outcry caused Sasuke and Sakura to roll their eyes.

"Training with a bunch of genin? Isn't that a little low level?" Sasuke drawled.

"In case you _forgot_, Sasuke_-kun,_ Iruka-Sensei has a few handicaps he's got to work to overcome." Kakashi hissed darkly, causing Sasuke to recoil slightly in surprise. "He may be training with you but he still outranks you." Kakashi went on. "So mind your manners or I might let Naruto beat you up." Indeed, Naruto was seething as well, but in a subdued manner. Both he and Sakura were also greatly startled by Kakashi's vehemence. Tomodachi, who'd been at Kakashi's heels this whole time, had managed to distract Iruka slightly by nuzzling the mans' hand as a sort of request for attention.

"Hn. He couldn't hurt me even if you tied me down." Sasuke boasted. A moment of heavy silence fell on Team 7.

"Er… K-Kakashi-Sensei…" Sakura began, desperately casting about for a change of subject. "Uh…Oh! Is that one of your dogs?" She finished, pointing to Tomodachi, who in turn turned to give her his best canine smile. Kakashi straightened up, the shadow fading from his face as his one visible eye curved gleefully.

"Why, yes he is! Sakura, Naruto, Sasuke, this is Tomodachi. He's been helping me watch over Iruka-Sensei and will probably be helping him with his training today, too."

"Hey hey! Can he talk like Pakkun!" Naruto demanded excitedly. Iruka gave a soft laugh even as Tomodachi answered for Kakashi.

"Why yes I can." Naruto paused, blinking his eyes owlishly.

"…Cool!" He said at last. Sasuke made a small sound of exasperation even as Sakura caught herself giggling.

"Okay you guys." Kakashi said, casually commanding attention. "Have you three been practicing that trick Iruka-Sensei showed us last week?"

"Yeah! Yeah yeah yeah! Every day, Kakashi-Sensei!" Naruto yelled. Kakashi leaned back slightly away from Naruto, blinking. He glanced at Sakura and Sasuke. "Did you two figure it out alright?"

"Yep!" Sakura chirped. Sasuke nodded curtly. He was still irked that Kakashi had told him off, and refused to make a sound.

"Wonderful!" Kakashi said. "Well, as this is incredibly crucial for Iruka-Sensei, I figured we could play a little one on one sparring…blindfolded!"

"Yeah! Yeah! Me first Kakashi-Sensei!"

"Naruto, you need to calm down before I throw you in the river." Kakashi said flatly. Naruto's eyes widened briefly and he did his best to sober, but still bounced excitedly. "Iruka-San?" Kakashi asked. Iruka had been quiet, just hovering near the group, one hand resting on Tomodachi's head. Iruka's head swiveled at Kakashi's voice, but was slightly off in his direction, and Kakashi knew he was saving his energy.

"Sounds fun." Iruka said simply, smiling slightly.

"Great. Okay guys: I'm timing these matches for five minutes a go. I don't want anyone frying their chakara supply straight off. Furthermore, no weapons and no advanced jitsus. Try to focus on taijitsu, as you all could use some work in that regard." Kakashi instructed. "Sasuke, Naruto, you two wear each other down first." Sasuke grunted, glaring over at Naruto, who grinned excitedly. "Tie your hitai-ate over your eyes the way Iruka-Sensei's is. If I catch anyone peeking, they're going to get to train with Team Gai for a month, understood?" Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto and Iruka all grimaced in unison. They all understood perfectly, though Iruka knew he didn't have to worry about peeking. He couldn't even if he wanted to. "Okay boys, square off at three yards. You'll start and stop when I give the word." Kakashi pulled out a sports timer as Naruto and Sasuke separated, facing off and pulling their hitai-ate down over their eyes. Tomodachi guided Iruka as Sakura and Kakashi stepped back out of the way. "Ready… Hajime!" Kakashi barked, clicking the timer in his hand with a soft beep.

Iruka's head turned as he listened to the soft tha-thumps of the two boys' footsteps rushing over grass, trying to discern their movements. He didn't want to waste his chakara watching them. Not much, anyway.

Iruka ended up following Naruto's movements the most, as he was considerably noisier than Sasuke. Iruka stared into blackness, listening to the heavy breathing, grunts and soft thumping of blows being blocked and occasionally landed. He couldn't help but smile as he heard Sasuke curse once or twice and Naruto laugh. The blond was getting stronger, that went without any doubt. With every frustrated grunt that Sasuke made, the pace picked up another notch, the blows landing a little harder until both were moving more awkwardly. Feet tangled, breaths grew ragged, and finally there was a soft _whump_ as someone was knocked off their feet just as Kakashi's timer went off.

"Alright! That's it guys! Good job!" Iruka wanted to ask Kakashi who'd won…he couldn't tell… but he didn't. "Sakura, you and Sasuke."

"Whaaaaaaat!" Sakura screeched. "I can't fight Sasuke-kun!" 'I don't want to hit him' went unsaid but was still heard by all. Sasuke snorted.

"I don't care." He said.

"Get up there, Sakura." Kakashi said. "You'll be blindfolded so if you give him a black eye, you won't be able to tell anyway. Just pretend he's Naruto-kun if you have to." Iruka had to swallow a laugh at that.

"HEEEY!" Naruto's protest went ignored.

"But--!"

"_Do it._" Kakashi's voice was low in warning. "You won't always get to choose who you do and do not fight." Iruka listened as Sakura left his side to take Naruto's place a few yards away from Sasuke.

"Don't make me hold back." The dark boy warned grumpily. Iruka swore he could hear Sakura gulp apprehensively.

"Blindfold on, Sakura-Chan."

"Right." What followed were a few irritated grunts, and several minutes of dodging and the occasional yelp of pain from Sakura.

"Just hit him, Sakura! You'll like it, trust me!" Iruka called, gaining a glance, which he did not notice, from Kakashi.

"Yeah! Knock his lights out, Sakura-Chan!"

"Why isn't anyone cheering for Sasuke?" Tomodachi asked from Iruka's side. Kakashi laughed.

"Because he's a bastard!" Naruto yelled, earning a mean look from Sakura, even though she was blindfolded. Sasuke took the moment to sweep her feet out from under her.

"Because he doesn't _need_ cheering on." Kakashi corrected.

"I see that." Tomodachi commented as Sakura grunted in an unladylike fashion, climbing back to her feet. Iruka smiled as he heard her give a low battle cry, her footsteps doubling. Seconds later, there was a grunt from Sasuke.

"About time." Sasuke muttered, rubbing his jaw briefly. He took a swing at Sakura, but she ducked and Kakashi's timer went off.

"Alright!" Kakashi called. Sakura stopped immediately, yanking her makeshift blindfold down off her eyes and looking at Sasuke in horror. A bright purple bruise was forming on his jaw.

"Aaagh! Sasuke-Kun! I'm sorry!" She rushed to him as Sasuke pulled his own blindfold off, and he looked at Sakura running towards him with a slightly horrified expression.

"Okay!" Kakashi had decided to save Sasuke by drawing Sakura's attention. "Who wants to fight Iruka-Sensei?"

"ME! ME ME ME!" Naruto was jumping up and down in front of Kakashi waving a hand in his face. Kakashi stared down at Naruto passively.

"You actually want to beat up poor Iruka-Sensei?" He said blandly.

"No way!" Naruto yelled. "I want to show him how good I've gotten!" Kakashi smiled under his mask, glancing at Iruka.

"I bet you'd just love the chance to bash Naruto's head in, hmm?" He asked Iruka.

"Not entirely, but I will anyway if you keep yelling like that in our faces, Naruto." Iruka said sugar sweetly. Naruto inched away.

"Okay, Naruto get out there. Tomodachi, take Iruka-san out there and then stay low."

"Got it." Tomodachi's tail wagged as he trotted out into the open area the group had chosen with Iruka.

"You're up to this, right Iruka-San?" Kakashi called, double checking.

"Yep!" Iruka called. Kakashi grinned as Iruka suddenly straightened up, arms relaxing at his side. He could feel the swell in Iruka's chakara even from the distance they were at now. His range was much wider than Sasuke or Sakura's. "Okay," Iruka said more softly to Naruto. "Go easy on me, it's been a while."

"You said yourself you could still beat me, Iruka-Sensei!" Naruto cried. Iruka's lips twisted into an ironic smirk.

"Good point."

"Ready?" Kakashi asked. Sakura had just flopped down tiredly at his feet, and Sasuke stood off to one side, still rubbing his jaw. "Five minutes…now!" At the beep, Iruka dropped into a low defensive stance as he watched Naruto-surprisingly bright today- charge straight at him. It was harder for Iruka to focus on such a rapidly moving target, and he had to leap back and dodge instead of block the first few of the boy's blows, not even bothering to return a kick or punch yet.

"Come on, Iruka-Sensei!" Naruto whined. Gritting his teeth, Iruka rushed foreword, breaking his stance for the first time, and threw a few punches at Naruto's head, just to get him moving. Naruto laughed, dancing back. "Yeah!" Iruka couldn't help but grin as well, and traced the flow of chakara into Naruto's right leg, knew he would kick with his left, and was ready when the attack came, catching the boy's leg in one arm and throwing it up higher so that Naruto was forced off the one foot he stood on. He landed in the grass with a thump, and Iruka almost took the time to be proud of himself before barely dodging a low sweep to his ankles.

"Gah! Brat! I'll get you yet!" Iruka growled around a smile. He wished he could see Naruto's face, but he considered himself lucky just to be able to make out the boy's outline in the blue-white of chakara.

Kakashi watched hazily as Iruka almost preemptively blocked some of Naruto's attacks. Naruto hadn't seemed to have caught on yet.

"Wow…" Sakura breathed, noticing just what Kakashi had. "How is he doing that?" Kakashi pushed up his hitai-ate, watching the pair with his sharingan.

"I think he's watching the chakara build up in different parts of Naruto's body and guessing the attacks…" Kakashi said, answering Sakura's half-meant question. Over the course of the next five minutes, he watched his charge relax with moving in the strange otherworld he'd created for himself, his movements and responses becoming fluid instead of hesitant and anxious. Naruto, having a lower center of gravity due to his height, eventually managed to topple Iruka, who only laughed as he got up. Kakashi's timer went off. "Alright!" Naruto stepped away from Iruka, leaning foreword with his hands on his thighs, catching his breath. Kakashi noted the boy's eyes were still blindfolded. _He caught onto that almost as quick as Iruka did…_ "Okay! Who wants to fight Iruka-Sensei next!" Kakashi called.

"You fight him, Kakashi-Sensei!" Sakura suggested.

"Whaat!" Kakashi's candid response earned him a glare from the girl.

"You keep pairing us up, so it's our turn!" Sakura went on. Some distance behind Kakashi, Iruka stood listening carefully.

"Yeah! That's a great idea, Sakura-Chan!" Naruto cried. Sakura smirked.

"Yeah, go on, Kakashi-Sensei!" She pressed, then fixed him a stern look he swore she'd learned from Tsunade. "Or are you afraid to fight Iruka-Sensei because you haven't tried the same jitsu you've been making us practice all morning!" She demanded.

Kakashi puffed up a little. No, that wasn't it! He didn't want to _hurt_ Iruka-Sensei, though he didn't think he would. Of course, if he told Sakura that, she'd point out that he'd made _her_ fight Sasuke and then ask why he was worried about hitting someone he supposedly didn't like and… Kakashi groaned softly before turning to face Iruka.

"Think you can take me?" He called, forcing bravado.  
"Probably not, but I can try." Iruka said only a little uncertainly. His too was bravado. There was honestly no way he was going to beat Kakashi when he was so incredibly outranked.

"YEAAH!" Naruto threw a fist into the air. Kakashi sighed, retied his hitai-ate over both eyes and took a moment to sink into himself.

It was easier than he'd expected for him to manage Iruka's style of vision, and he tossed his timer to Naruto.

"Watch that." He said, then walked out casually to face off with Iruka. There was a long pause. "…Someone start us off!" Kakashi added.

"Okay… GO!" Sakura called.

Iruka gasped, staggering backwards as Kakashi, white hot and almost blinding, rushed him at full speed. It was a narrow miss from a full-body collision. Pivoting on one foot, Iruka tried to sweep Kakashi's legs out as he passed, but the Jounin leapt over his leg, landing easily a few feet further away and turning to face Iruka, head down. Iruka could see that Kakashi's left eye was automatically flooding itself with excess chakara uselessly, and felt some comfort in knowing it would be useless to Kakashi now. Taking heart in that, he rushed the older man, teeth grit and growling.

_This is for all the weird shit you've put me through!_ Iruka thought, faking a low kick and rotating his stance to kick Kakashi upside the head. Kakashi blocked at the last second, but the force of Iruka's kick set him staggering slightly. Kakashi hissed softly, leaping back to a safer distance even as Iruka pressed on.

The three genin watched in amazement as limbs flew in scattered blurs between Iruka and Kakashi, the former pressing down viciously.

"Jeez…" Sakura breathed. It was nothing they hadn't seen from Kakashi a million times in a million fights, both with the three of them, and enemies. "Iruka-Sensei's really trying to kill him…" A rather ferocious scowl could be seen on the Chuunin's face, even from the mild distance. Naruto was kneading his hands anxiously as he watched the two spar, realizing that Sakura was not exaggerating in her description of what she saw.

Kakashi winced as he felt the growing malice in Iruka's intent, knew that the Chuunin was aching for some sort of revenge on him. Every now and then, for that reason, Kakashi let Iruka land a hit, though the knowledge that each blow was in anger hurt more than the kicks and punches themselves ever would. Distracted, Kakashi's grip on Iruka's chakara wavered and flickered even as his eyes and throat heated. Now was _not_ the time for a breakdown!

"Aah-!" He staggered as Iruka caught one of his blind moments and knocked him backwards with a firm kick to the chest. Kakashi rolled out of his fall and back to his feet, but swayed just slightly.

Iruka had noticed the slips in Kakashi's concentration, could actually see his chakara dim and scatter slightly in odd patterns around his face, chest and throat. While he didn't know what this meant, Iruka took full advantage of it, though his arms were starting to tremble from exhaustion. Wasn't that five minutes over yet! Still, time was time, and it was precious, and so Iruka pressed on, ignoring his own fatigue. _He deserves it anyway… _He smiled a little, forgetting that he had an audience, as he heard Kakashi gasp as he kicked at the man's ankles, making him stagger.

"Sasuke-kun….is it just me, or does this seem like longer than five minutes?" Sakura said. She was getting more and more disconcerted by Iruka's attacks, and searched for a distraction. Sasuke shrugged. "How much longer, Naruto?" She asked.

"Huh?"

"The timer, Naruto!" Sakura cried, whacking the boy sharply.

"Ow! I don't know!" He fumbled with the small clock for a moment before handing it to Sakura.

"AAAh! You never even started it, you moron!"

"I think they've been at it for closer to ten minutes." Sasuke pointed out. "Nice job, Dobe."

"Aiee! Kakashi-Sensei! Iruka-Sensei! Stop! Your time's up!" Sakura shrieked. Kakashi danced back, dodging one last punch from Iruka, who swayed, then slumped to a heap on the ground. Kakashi had his hitai-ate up off his eyes and was beside Iruka in one smooth movement.

"Shit!" Kakashi's outcry didn't really surprise anyone. All were thinking much the same thing as Iruka collapsed, panting shakily. From beside Sasuke, Tomodachi bounded out to Iruka's side, licking his face. "Why didn't you _say_ something?" Kakashi asked plaintively, trying to haul a wobbly Iruka to his feet, letting the man attempt to walk instead of carrying him. He didn't think Iruka would like the kids to see him completely helpless. Iruka shook badly at his side, but only shook his head in negation, not answering. "Shit." Kakashi repeated, more softly as Iruka's knees buckled and he sagged against him. "Naruto, we were using that timer for a _reason_." He reprimanded weakly, shaking his head to clear it. He was clearly flustered. Naruto and Sakura exchanged worried glances, unnoticed . Still hanging off of Kakashi, Iruka let out a low growl and straightened up, jerking away from Kakashi suddenly and staggering a few steps foreword.

"M' fine…" Iruka growled, though his head sagged and his shoulders were hunched. "Tomodachi…" Tomodachi hurried to meet Iruka's outstretched and shaking hand.

"Iruka-Sensei…" Naruto murmured worriedly.

"Don't worry, Naruto-kun." Iruka said, his voice still low and coarse.

"Iruka-San, you're _exhausted…"_ Kakashi breathed worriedly.

"Damn it, Kakashi, I'm _fine_!" Iruka barked, causing the whole of Team 7 to recoil in unison. "How the hell am I supposed to get stronger and recover when you keep coddling me like some _invalid_!" It seemed Iruka hadn't been able to vent all his anger towards Kakashi while they sparred. Kakashi seemed to shrink. Sakura glanced between Iruka and Kakashi repeatedly, puzzling them both out in her keen mind. There was something in the way Kakashi was responding to Iruka's outbursts that set the gears spinning in her head. "Just let me sit down and rest a little…You take care of your students." Iruka finished, slightly more subdued.

"There's some trees over here, Iruka-Sensei." Tomodachi said softly, looking back at Kakashi mournfully. Sakura noticed this as well, and tried to catch the dog's eye, but failed. Under Tomodachi's lead, Iruka staggered off to slump in the shade of a nearby oak.

Kakashi remained statue-still, staring down at the ground as if it were the only thing he'd ever seen in his life.

"Kakashi-Sensei…" Naruto began, unusually quiet. "What _happened_?" Kakashi didn't answer immediately, but continued to stare down at the grass between his feet.

"I told you already, Naruto…" Kakashi said softly at last.

"Why is Iruka-Sensei so angry?" Sakura asked softly, glancing over at the man in question, now out of earshot.

"You might be angry too, if your life was turned upside down so suddenly." Kakashi said. Sakura blinked. "Imagine yourself, Sakura, loosing your eyesight and never being able to look at Sasuke-Kun again." Sakura paled. "You've been poisoned, so your weak, sick, and can't fend for yourself even if you weren't, because suddenly -over night- _everything_ has changed." Kakashi went on solemnly. "You have to re-learn how to eat, bathe, dress, all in the constant care of another." Sakura averted her eyes, understanding. "Now, imagine," Kakashi said, voice tightening just slightly. Sakura didn't miss this, and sharp green eyes shot up to her sensei's face. "That it was Naruto who was your caretaker." Sakura's candid exclamation said it all.

"Aak!" At her elbow, Naruto looked a little hurt, but he grinned it off.

"_That's_ why Iruka-Sensei is angry. Hopefully, someday soon things will get better for him, but for now try and be understanding, alright?" Kakashi finished. Sakura and Naruto stood quietly together. Nearby, Sasuke was listening closely.

"Well…what about _you_ Kakashi-Sensei?" Sakura asked.

"What about me?" Kakashi asked, eye arching gleefully. Sakura was too late. He'd already dropped his solemn mood and reverted back to his more familiar character in the short time it had taken Sakura to think things over. "Okay kids, back to work!" He said before she could specify. Sakura fixed him a dark look, meeting his gaze, daring him to twitch. The briefest flicker of something flashed across his single gray eye before he looked away casually. "Keep working on your taijitsu. You decide amongst yourselves if you want to work blindfolded or not. Mix it up!" Almost instantly, Sasuke and Naruto broke into a sprawling battle, Sakura leaping in and out of the fray trying to break them up and organize a proper match. Kakashi watched them boredly for a moment before shrugging. "Good enough." Leaping up into the tree beside the one Iruka had chosen to rest under, he perched on a branch and watched his students silently, thinking.

----------------------------------------------------------------

AN: again, sorry it took so long to upload. lost my internet connection for several days, about the time I was ready to post another chapter (grr)

Hehe. This is like watching an explosion in slow motion.

I used to write only goofy stuff...wonder what happened? O.o


	10. Chapter 10

10

"Do you think Iruka-Sensei will come back to train with us today?" Sakura asked her two teammates. They were waiting for Kakashi, as usual, who'd said he would be meeting them today. After the previous day's events and Iruka's near collapse, the three were doubtful. Sasuke shrugged in response to her open question.

"Poor Iruka-Sensei was really worn out." Naruto pointed out. "Remember how long it took Kakashi-Sensei to recover that one time in Wave Country?"

"Yeah, but Iruka-Sensei was still mobile afterwards…Kakashi-Sensei didn't say anything, just told us to meet him." Sasuke pointed out.

"And what about Kakashi-Sensei, you guys!" Sakura said. "I'm worried about him."

"EEH! Why!" Naruto demanded.

"He's not himself. Can't you tell?"

"He was really distracted." Sasuke said. "He kept taking hits when he fought Iruka-Sensei yesterday that I know he could have blocked. I don't think he was just going easy…He was plain sloppy."

"And Iruka-Sensei was going crazy…" Sakura breathed. "He looked like he wanted to kill Kakashi-Sensei."

"It was scary…" Naruto whined softly.

"What's scary is the way Kakashi-Sensei took it all."

"Huh?" Naruto blinked, watching Sakura curiously.

"You're so dense, Naruto." Sakura growled. "He was _hurt!_"

"Eh…?" Naruto didn't get it. Sakura opened her mouth to explain, but Sasuke stopped her.

"They're coming." His voice was a low warning and Sakura cut off her conversation with Naruto, turning to look.

Kakashi walked casually up to the huddled trio, frowning just a little under his mask. It was unusual for them to be bunched up they way they had been.

"They're up to something." He commented in a low voice. Behind him a few paces, guided by Tomodachi, Iruka spoke up.

"What makes you think that?"

"They're talking civilly in a group. Oh. No, now they all just noticed us and stopped. Sneaky little brats…" Kakashi said. Iruka didn't respond and the two fell silent as they approached the three children. "Good morning!" Kakashi called cheerfully, waving. Naruto turned and glared at him.

"You're _late_ Kakashi Sensei!" Kakashi laughed the way he always did, scratching his head in badly faked abashment.

"I'm sorry! You see this morning Iruka-Sensei--" Kakashi began. Behind him, Iruka's face darkened tellingly, and Sakura grimaced.

_NOT GOOD!_ Inner Sakura screamed. _You're going to have another scary day if Kakashi-Sensei pisses off Iruka-Sensei again!_

"AAAH! EXCUSES!" Sakura screeched, pointing accusingly at Kakashi and effectively cutting him off. Beside her Sasuke winced, hissing and covered his ears, but she did her best to ignore him for the moment. "We don't need any of your crappy excuses, Kakashi-Sensei! Give it up! _Last_ time you said that the Hokage had been attacked by _rabid kittens _and that you were called in on a last ditch special mission to find catnip! That's outrageous! Give it up!" Behind Kakashi, Iruka's jaw had dropped, but his face also relaxed and Sakura let out a soft sigh of triumph. Beside her, Sasuke sniggered softly. Naruto was staring at Sakura in confusion, but she continued the act. "So just spit out our mission already!"

Kakashi stared at Sakura in shock, not having a clue what had just happened. He laughed nervously.

"Aah hah… Um…well, Iruka-Sensei wanted a rematch with a few of you and since everyone did so well yesterday I thought we could play with sharp things today as well!" He said cheerfully, spinning a kunai he'd produced from a pocket on one finger. He let it fly. The kunai whizzed just past Sasuke's head, dangerously close. Sasuke didn't flinch, only glared at Kakashi as it imbedded itself in a tree nearby.

"You missed." He said flatly.

"No he didn't." Tomodachi said, pointing his nose back towards the tree. A maple leaf was stabbed dead-center to the tree, fluttering lightly. Sasuke shrugged, not impressed.

"So kunai, hm?" He asked. "Don't let Iruka-Sensei kill you or we'll have to waste our time trying to find a new sensei." Sasuke said, testing his on conclusion to what they'd been discussing prior to the arrival of the two sensei. To his satisfaction, Kakashi blanched and had nothing to say. Behind him, Iruka's lips pressed into a wire-thin line as he wondered what the hell Sasuke was getting at. Kakashi let out another nervous laugh.

"Ah ha…whatever the hell are you talking about, Sasuke-Kun?" He asked cheerfully, recovering.

"Hn." Sasuke didn't grace him with any more of an answer than that, turning away.

"Well then!" Kakashi chirped, clapping his hands together. "Sakura, you and Naruto go at it and we'll all watch…" He paused, glancing back at Iruka and winced "or something." Naruto stared at Kakashi weirdly and Kakashi made a moving gesture with both hands. "Well, go on!" Shrugging, Naruto pulled a kunai from it's pouch and followed Sakura out to a safer fighting distance. Iruka and Tomodachi were situated up against the same tree as before. Sasuke was already trotting over to where they sat, surprising Kakashi.

_Well, what is he up to, being social all of the sudden?_ Kakashi had been much like Sasuke, once, and so he knew that Sasuke _had_ to be up to _something_. The question was, _up to what?_

Sasuke approached Iruka and sat down at an impersonal distance, turning to face his old sensei.

"Hello, Iruka Sensei." He said. Iruka's head turned Sasuke's way automatically, and Sasuke watched Iruka's lips turn up into a small smile.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun." Iruka answered, leaning back a little. _Someone's feeling friendly…_Tomodachi came up to Sasuke's side and leaned imploringly against him. Sasuke scratched at the dog's ears absently. He didn't like animals much, but there were definitely better than most humans he knew. Tomodachi sensed Sasuke's lack of affection, and didn't ask much of the boy, shortly returning to Iruka. Sasuke let the silence stretch for a while, coolly watching Naruto and Sakura spar in the distance.

"You recovered quickly." Sasuke said at last. Ahead of him, closer to Naruto and Sakura, Kakashi glanced back briefly. Iruka lifted his head again.

"Hm?"

"You collapsed yesterday, but you seem fine today." Sasuke elaborated.

"I…I guess so, huh?" Iruka mused. "Kakashi-Sensei got me home and I pretty much slept the rest of the day off, though…" Iruka said. Sasuke frowned. He had been looking for some mention of Kakashi. Now he tried to analyze how Iruka had said his name, but it had been smooth and even, with barely any added infliction at all.

"So Kakashi-Sensei is living with you?" Sasuke asked rather suddenly. Iruka frowned. _There we go…_ Sasuke thought, smirking in satisfaction.

"He pretty much has to…He leaves Tomodachi with me sometimes…" Tomodachi lifted his head from where it had rested on his forepaws.

"Hn. Must be tough." Sasuke said, watching Iruka's face. He could tell Iruka was resting, and not watching him, because while his face was turned towards Sasuke, it was a little off. "I couldn't stand living with the idiot."

"It's not so bad…" Both Iruka and Sasuke were startled by Iruka's sudden defense of Kakashi. Sasuke arched an eyebrow.

"Oh?"

"I can tell he's trying…but it is tough…" Sasuke remained silent, listening. "I…I'm not exactly used to being dependent on someone else…you know what it's like…" Iruka admitted. "and… I don't think Kakashi-san is used to someone else depending on him."

"I don't know about _that._" Sasuke said.

"Hmm?"

"Well…he's got us…and besides that, he's one of Konoha's elite. In a way, the whole village depends on him." Sasuke reasoned. Ahead, Kakashi glanced back again briefly. Sasuke wondered if maybe he knew he was the subject of their conversation.

"True…"

"Sakura thinks he's stressed out." Sasuke said suddenly.

"Oh…" Iruka felt a little guilty, knowing that if Kakashi was suddenly under extra stress, it was because of him.

"No. I take that back. Not stressed…" Sasuke said, thinking aloud. "_Distracted_." Under Sasuke's careful scrutiny, Iruka could be seen to twitch just slightly. When Iruka didn't say anything, Sasuke went on. "No offense, Iruka-Sensei, but you shouldn't have been able to land half of those hits yesterday…"

"I thought he was just going easy on me." Iruka said, voice a little rough with irritation.

"Perhaps." Sasuke said. "But there was more to it, I think."

"Like what?" Iruka asked, puzzled.

"I don't know yet." With that, Sasuke stood, sauntering off towards Naruto and Sakura, who had finally stopped. Iruka listened to Sasuke's soft foot falls crunching lightly over grass, gravel and the occasional dried leaf, until the sound faded away. He had managed to follow Sasuke further than he'd expected, and was pleased with himself. He heard Sasuke's voice rise slightly from it's usual undertone as he challenged someone. "Fight me." There was a long, telling pause in which Sakura had the time to approach Iruka.

"Ooh. I don't want to watch them fight. It always gets scary." She said, plopping down with a soft _whump_ in the grass beside Iruka. "You wanna play while they go at it?" Iruka stood. Sakura was a sweet, understanding girl by anyone's standards, and he was truly curious to see how far she'd advanced from her pre-genin days.

"Certainly. Go easy on me." He said, half jokingly. Sakura laughed.

"Ha, no way! I saw how you whomped Kakashi-Sensei yesterday! You just pretend to be all nice and lovable then _wham!_ Someone get's their ass kicked. Not me, Iruka-Sensei!" Sakura said, giggling by the time she finished. Iruka laughed as well, though he was a little worried about how the subject of yesterday's fight kept coming up. Laughing it off, he carelessly tossed a kunai Sakura's way. She danced out of it's only semi-dangerous path, of course, and giggled again. "C'mon, Iruka-Sensei! You can do better than that!" She chirped.

"Yeah!" Iruka darted up from his seat in the grass, Tomodachi barking gleefully at his heels, and dashed after the pink-haired girl. He didn't think Sakura could challenge him much, though he delighted in it when she did, but she was fun to _be_ with. "Watch it girl." He teased. "I spent all night using Kakashi-Sensei as target practice and I'm much better with the kunai now!"

Kakashi turned away from Sasuke for a brief second, dancing back as a series of well-aimed shruiken pattered into the ground where he'd been standing. Kakashi frowned behind his mask. _I heard that!_ Sakura was leading Iruka in a wild chase around the edge of their favorite grove. Iruka actually had the confidence to run after her, though he stumbled frequently. Even from the distance, Kakashi could see the other man grinning happily, even hear him laugh. It was entrancing, and Kakashi's world stopped.

A kunai whizzed by Kakashi's face, actually slicing the fabric of his hitai-ate over his left ear, snapping Kakashi back into reality. He turned back to see Sasuke glaring at him.

"Pay attention or next time it's going to be your left nut." Sasuke growled, cool eyes fixed on Kakashi's face. Kakashi lowered his head, steeling himself and charged in, actually knocking Sasuke off his feet with a rather uncivilized frontal head butt. Sasuke yelped and toppled backwards, skidding a few feet through the grass before climbing to his feet.

"Yeah yeah…" Kakashi was saying, waving him off. "I'm watching you, don't worry." He dodged the next shruiken, and the three after that.

Sakura giggled. "Oh my gawd!" She said, dancing back from Iruka as she spoke. "Kakashi-Sensei almost got nailed because he was too busy watching us instead of Sasuke-Kun!" Iruka frowned. "GET 'EM, SASUKE-KUUUN!" She added, cupping her hands over her mouth and yelling. She giggled as she easily ducked below a kunai Iruka had thrown.

"You'd better pay attention too, Sakura Chan." Iruka teased.

"I am!"

Ten minutes later left Sasuke, Kakashi, Sakura and Iruka all heaped on the ground around Naruto, who'd been lounging happily, waiting his turn, taking a breather.

Sakura lay sprawled between Iruka's knees, leaning on them, panting. She smiled as Naruto came up and leaned against Iruka's side happily.

Kakashi stared over at his two students, so easily intimate with the apple of his eye, and felt a stab of jealousy rush through him like ice water. Something must have crossed his face, because Sasuke, who'd been playing with one of his last kunai, tossed it at Kakashi's feet, startling his sensei back to reality.

"You're zoning out, _Sensei._" Kakashi winced, and stood again.

"Alright! Who's next!" He needed to fight more. Yes, in his distracted state, Sasuke had worked him somewhat, but he still hadn't broken a sweat. In fact, the only person who looked winded was Sakura. When nobody answered him immediately, Kakashi went on a limb. "Iruka Sensei? Care to play?" He held out his hand to Iruka, who was watching him through his blindfold.

"Sure." Iruka didn't take his hand, but stood on his own, after untangling himself from Sakura and Naruto.

"Good luck, Iruka-Sensei!" Sakura chirped, moving to sit near Sasuke.

"Kick his ass, Iruka-Sensei!" Naruto added. Kakashi couldn't help but notice nobody was willing to cheer _him_ on.

"You still have weapons?" Kakashi asked as they walked away from the kids.

"Barely used any of them." Iruka answered.

"Great. Let's do it." Seconds later, Kakashi had to dart to one side as Iruka wasted not a second in lobbing his first weapon at the Jounin. "Shit! Nothing lethal, alright?" Kakashi added.

"That wouldn't have killed you." Iruka answered coolly. Kakashi grimaced.

The kids didn't feel like any more sparring. They were all far too interested in what would happen between Iruka and Kakashi. After several minutes of watching to two dance their deadly circles, they began to talk. Iruka didn't seem half as vicious as he had the day before, and they all were breathing sighs of relief.

"You looked like you two were having fun…" Sasuke said, looking back at Sakura. "We could hear you laughing even from our distance." Sakura blushed.

"He's a fun person when he's not badgering you about homework…" Sakura said. "We did have fun."

"It was distracting Kakashi." Sasuke said. Sakura, and Naruto beside her, blinked, surprised.

"Why would he care…?" Naruto asked. Sasuke let a small smirk grace his thin lips.

"I think I've got him pegged…" Sasuke murmured. Sakura's eyes widened.

"What do you think--"

"SHIT!" All three students turned in time to see Kakashi, whose outcry had just interrupted them, teleport to a position mere inches in front of Iruka. He lurched, shivered, and then leaned foreword wearily, and it took a moment for the trio to realize what had happened.

"Kakashi! What the hell!" Iruka was as surprised as anyone. He'd launched a rather articulate attack, and Kakashi had responded on pure nerves. Iruka had barely even seen the kunai, and now the older man was there, inches from his face and trembling, his own kunai imbedded into his left shoulder.

"Sorry…" Kakashi said. His voice was strained with pain. "That…" He shook his head.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Sakura was the first at the pair's side, staring up at her Sensei with confused jade eyes. "Why'd you take your own attack!"

"Too dangerous…" Kakashi muttered.

"Huh?" Iruka's eyes widened. "But you yourself said no lethal attacks!"

"Mistake…no…automatic…"

"But to block…"

"Iruka-San," Kakashi ground out. That kunai hurt. He was trembling just slightly, and wanted nothing more than to slump foreword against Iruka, only inches away from him, but held his ground. "Look at where the kunai is, and it's angle, and tell me where it would have hit you." Iruka leaned foreword, looking, and his gasp mingled with Sakura's. Iruka reached up automatically to cover his throat with his hand. The kunai, still glowing with Kakashi's chakara, could be seen easily straight through Kakashi's body, aimed right up at his own throat. It would have sliced right through Iruka, probably instantly lethal. "Yeah…" Kakashi confirmed. "I'm sorry…" Iruka staggered back, feeling stunned. Not only with from his near brush with death, but also because of how Kakashi had handled the situation. "Sakura-Chan…" Kakashi went on. "Would you mind pulling that out? I can't move my arm, where it is…" Sakura reached up and pulled the kunai from Kakashi's shoulder as quickly as possible -Kakashi gasped and grit his teeth - withdrawing it in a spray of blood.

"Crap! Kakashi-Sensei!"

"It's fine, Sakura-Chan." Kakashi said, his good hand reaching for the pain.

"No, it's not! Just let me bandage that, you're bleeding all over the place!"

"It's fine…"

"No, it's _not_ you moron!"

"Sakura…"

"ON THE GROUND, DAMN IT!" Kakashi grimaced, and immediately obeyed. She reminded him so much of Tsunade sometimes…it was freaky. Iruka backed away with Sasuke and Naruto, as Sakura swung her pack from her shoulders, wrenching it open. "I need you to take your shirt off…" She said, voice business like, now. Tsunade had trained her well as a medic.

"…Um…" Kakashi didn't move.

"Kakashi-_sensei_!" Sakura whined. Behind her, Sasuke chuckled.

"He's not going to take his shirt off, Sakura." Kakashi lay face-first in the grass, his head turned Sakura's way, but unable to see, because his left eye was, as usual, covered.

"Eh?"

"Your mask is built into that shirt, isn't it, Kakashi-Sensei?" Sasuke said, smirking and crossing his arms. Kakashi sighed.

"Yeah."

"Oh…well…" Sakura, sensing Kakashi's underlying depression, didn't want to make it worse. There had to be a reason he'd always so carefully hidden his face from the world. "I guess I can just push up the back, I mean…" She was interrupted by Kakashi sitting back up suddenly.

"Screw it." He pulled his shirt up with his good arm, struggling somewhat because it _really_ hurt to move his left, and yanked it up and off his head. The friction pulled his hitai-ate away as well, and in seconds, Kakashi's face was bare.

Sakura's jaw dropped.

"Kakashi-Sensei!" Kakashi clamped his eyes shut, not wanting to look at any of them, and lay back out across the grass. He could feel blood from the kunai wound trickling down his back. It felt like nothing to him. He'd nearly killed Iruka. He probably deserved a little bit of pain.

"Never mind, Sakura…" Kakashi murmured. Behind the pink-haired kunoichi, Sasuke and Naruto backed away, staring, utterly stunned. Sasuke's keen eyes darted to Iruka, but he was out of the picture, off to one side with Tomodachi, and now Naruto as well. Naruto remained silent by Iruka's side.

"O-okay…" Sakura tried not to stare at her Sensei's face, tried not to feel glee in _finally_ getting to see just what it was he was hiding, because all she _did_ see was pain. His head was turned her way again, both eyes open but glassy. His brow was drawn up and knitted, his lips parted in an agonized grimace. His breathing was tight and ragged. He was trying his best not to break down on the spot. His pain, she realized, wasn't from the kunai wound. Turning away for a moment, she dug out some bandages and sanitary wipes, preparing to clean and dress his wound. Her eyes caught his again. The toma in his sharingan were spinning slowly, but when their gazes met, they suddenly whirled into motion. Sakura's breath caught, and she froze.

Pain. Hurt. Agony. Grief. Iruka. More Pain. Confusion. Desolation. Loneliness. Pain. Pain pain PAIN _PAIN_! Not the type that makes you bleed, but the pain he felt every time a scowl crossed Iruka's face, every time the younger man snapped at him for being too personal or too close. She saw Iruka waking up screaming, and felt the overwhelming urge to just _hug _him and tell him she loved him, but not _daring_ to even _think_ about it. Total desperation and devotion and total, heart shredding agony.

She gasped sharply, and Kakashi cringed, turning his face away, and the vision faded away. Tears sprang into her eyes and Kakashi grit his teeth in a deep grimace, his left eye now resolutely clamped shut.

"Damn it! ….I'm sorry…" He breathed. "I didn't mean-"

"I saw it all…" Sakura breathed. "Kakashi-Sensei, you-"

"Don't say it." Kakashi's voice was barely a whisper. He had unwittingly opened a window straight into his soul for her, and she'd seen _everything_. His secrets were now hers as well. Sakura glanced back at Iruka, biting her lip. Kakashi's eyes began to water in earnest. Blinking away her own tears, Sakura set to work, trying not to dwell too much on the rush of emotions she had just received from Kakashi.

The toma in his left eye remained still as Kakashi stared resolutely at Sakura's left knee as she carefully bandaged his shoulder. He didn't say a word, but knew she was watching his face. Behind him, Naruto and Sasuke watched Sakura's face with confusion and worry. No one said a word. Nobody had ever seen such a display of emotion from Kakashi before.

First one, then two, and finally a third tear slipped from Kakashi's left eye, and he looked up pitifully as Sakura gently wiped them away.

"Please don't, Sensei…" She whispered, and blocked his face with her body so that the others wouldn't know.

"I'm sorry…" Kakashi sat up as Sakura patted his shoulder, signaling her finish. She handed him his shirt, and he pulled it on stiffly, keeping his back to the girl. He kept his mask down, not bothering to hide his face.

"Kakashi Sensei…" Sakura hugged him lightly, felt his shoulders were shaking, even though she couldn't see it. "Have you said anything at all?" She asked. He shook his head in negation.

"No point." He whispered back. They were both acutely aware of both Iruka, and the boy's presences nearby. "He hates me…"

"Are you sure? At least… you guys shouldn't live with this sort of tension…" Kakashi let out a low sigh.

"I just…"

"You should." She paused, biting her lip again. "…It's _killing _ you…" She was sincerely scared for him. What she had seen terrified her.

"Thank you for your help, Sakura." Kakashi said more clearly, moving to stand up. Sakura hugged him once more before he could stand, daring to kiss his temple lightly. She hoped it would be comforting. He cringed.

"Good luck, Kakashi-Sensei." She said in a normal voice, wiping her few tears away with the back of her wrist. She shot a glance towards Naruto and Sasuke.

"Are you going to tell them?" Kakashi asked in an undertone.

"They won't hold anything against you, Sensei." Sakura answered. "You should go home and rest. That kunai struck some important nerves in your shoulder. They'll heal just fine, but not if you keep working out today." She said this loud enough for Iruka to hear, and he turned his head to face them.

"Iruka-Sensei," Kakashi said, his voice almost cracking, but not quite. "Would you like to stay here with the kids a little longer? Doctor Sakura says I need to go home, but if you're still up for it, I don't want to impede your training." Iruka stood.

"No… I think I'm done for today…"

"I'm sorry about the kunai scare." Kakashi said.

"We're all alive and well. No harm no foul." Iruka said. Tomodachi came trotting up to Iruka's outstretched hand. "Let's just go." Kakashi turned his back on Iruka, picking up his damaged hitai-ate and replacing it over his still-weeping eye, and walked slowly towards town. His shoulders were held stiffly, and Sakura could see he still wasn't breathing properly.

"Kakashi-Sensei!" She called after him. He turned to look at her. "Rest wasn't my only prescription. Don't forget!" He stared at her a long time, looking hurt and, to Sakura's dismay, scared, but finally he nodded.

"It'll happen." He confirmed. Sakura narrowed her eyes.

"By this weekend, do you hear!" He stiffened again, but nodded, turning his back to her again. He and Iruka disappeared together shortly after.

Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto stood together in stunned silence for some time.

"Wh…what happened to Kakashi-Sensei…?" Naruto asked finally. He was shaken. Sakura only shook her head.

"I can't put it in words…"

"You know?" Sasuke asked. He too looked uncharacteristically concerned.

"I _saw_ it… We made eye contact, and his sharingan activated…unconsciously I think, because I saw…_him_…his thoughts, or memories, or both…And so much, so fast. It was like a dream…" Sakura's voice shook as she spoke, and Naruto hugged her lightly. She didn't push him away like normal. "Like, so much happened and it was only a split second but I saw it_ all_."

"Saw _what?_" Sasuke asked. "You're not telling us, Sakura! What's wrong?"

"Can you see? If I try and show you?" Sasuke stared at her for a long moment, thinking on this, before both his eyes shifted into twin spinning wheels, the eerie black on red toma fixating on Sakura's eyes. Sakura stared back, unafraid, and pulled up the memories of what she saw. After a moment, Sasuke gasped, blinking the blood limit out of his eyes and stepping back in surprise.

"More than I thought…"

"What? What?" Naruto was feeling left out again.

"You thought?" Sakura asked.

"I'd wondered…the way he was watching you and Iruka-Sensei when you were sparring. He was so fixated on Iruka-Sensei…"

"What? Huh? What's going on you guys?" Naruto asked. Sasuke groaned, rubbing his face and shaking his head. Sakura sighed. It was up to her to explain.

"Naruto…Kakashi-Sensei…you know how he's been all weird since he's been taking care of Iruka?" Naruto nodded. "It's… it's because he's in _love_ with Iruka-Sensei." Naruto's eyes widened, and his jaw dropped. "But Iruka-Sensei doesn't know, and he doesn't like Kakashi-Sensei at all, or at least that's what Kakashi-Sensei thinks and it's just…" Sakura's eyes started to water again, and she choked. She had experienced Kakashi's raw pain first hand. She'd left some of that out, transferring the memories to Sasuke. "It's…tearing him apart…"

"Sakura-Chan, it's okay…"

"She just lived all of those emotions as Kakashi has. It's like if I cut my arm and sent the memory of my pain to you though the Sharingan, it wouldn't bleed, but your arm would hurt too." Sasuke said. He put a hand to the girl's shoulder, knowing that even the smallest gesture of attention would greatly affect her. He wondered if she felt the same hurt from him as Kakashi did Iruka. He felt a little guilty. _There's no helping it, though…_ So he did his best to comfort Sakura now. It was enough. Sakura recovered quickly, putting a hand over Sasuke's for a moment before withdrawing from him, understanding the extent of his gesture. Naruto stood staring at his feet.

"So…what do we do?" He asked finally.

"I told Kakashi-Sensei to talk to him, but I don't know if he'll actually do it… he's so worried…no. He's terrified of being rejected, or hated even more…" The boys nodded. "If it doesn't change soon, though, we should do something. I'm worried." Sakura finished. Silence stretched.

"Heh… of all the things Kakashi-Sensei turned out to be afraid of…" Naruto commented wryly. Sasuke gave a small snort.

"Moron."

Kakashi stood in Iruka's bathroom with his forehead pressed against the cool, smooth surface of the mirror. He stared back at his own pale, weary eye miserably. He tried to think, tried to think of something to _do_ or say…to have some sort of finality with Iruka. _I want to die…_ was all he could think. He knew he didn't mean that, but his chest felt full of frozen lead, overflowing up into his throat and eyes, making him ache on the inside and numb on the outside.

_"I-I'm so stupid…" Kakashi, fourteen and absolutely crushed once again found himself with his forehead pressed against the comforting warmth of his sensei's shoulder. Tears flowed freely from both his eyes. "I…C-can't even st-stop crying…"_

_"It's okay to cry every once in a while, Kakashi. I thought you learned that."_

_"But--!" He cut off as Sensei hugged him more firmly. He held his breath. His world had revolved around only two people for so long…and now, of the two people, Rin was dead. Dead. Just like Father, just like Obito…just like everything. Half his world had been yanked away over night by a simple mission. Ten minutes earlier, he hadn't been crying, but screaming, kicking and punching a poor innocent grandmother oak tree until his bare hands bled and his vision blurred and he spun awkwardly when he lost his focus and his footing. Sensei had been there, catching him before he hit the cold, muddy ground. Now, safe in that warm embrace, so much like what his own father could never again give him, Kakashi broke down yet again._

_"Contrary to popular belief, Kakashi, emotions aren't always a sign of weakness." Came the comforting whisper in his ear. This man, Kakashi realized, was Hokage for a reason. Even in his youth, Kakashi's Sensei's wisdom was infinite. "Think about how little you often thought of those cold, hardened shinobi who won't even crack a smile." Kakashi grew quiet, listening. "I know what the rules say, Kakashi. I learned them just as you have, but sometimes… well, having a big heart is a strength too. Unfortunately, sometimes, when you have a big heart, you have to cry every now and then. That's okay. Really."_

_"Do you cry, Sensei?" Kakashi asked, not lifting his face from that broad, warm chest. So much like a father…_

_"Kakashi, look up." Yondaime's whisper came out breathy, and Kakashi lifted his face in time for a single teardrop to fall from the older man's face and splash onto his cheek, mingling with his own tears. Kakashi mused that somehow, even though the sight of someone he cared for crying was distressing, the way his tears shone in those rich blue eyes was sort of beautiful. His sensei smiled, though it was a watery one, and it started to rain._

Kakashi's breath hitched, but he didn't cry. Instead, he washed his face in cold water, took a deep breath, and left the room.

"Iruka-San…?" He found his ward in the living room, resting on the couch.

"Yes?"

"I…I need to tell you a few things…"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: AHAHAHAHA! CLIFHANGER! (evil grin of doom) sorry. But it wouldn't fit into this chapter anyway! XD

1) This, as everyone can see, was the turning point. The next chapter is transitional-I had such a hard time with it . (This chapter was delightfully easy ) ) I've been writing on chapter 11 for a month. But I got through it (though it's a little choppy) and I've got a pretty good idea what I'm doing through the end of the fic, now... So, does that mean the End is near? ...I'm not sure, actually. I have no clue how many more chapters the next part of this fic will fit into. As few as two as many as another 11, I could imagine. I duno. Anyone who writes understands the way plot bunnies mulitply... heh. :)

2) I am utterly amazed at all the wonderful responses I'm getting for this fic! Super awesome! I was looking through all the stats for my other fics, and this one has either matched, or now beaten my record for the most hits/reviews, and it's not even finished! I feel so special! Thank you!

3) ...Speaking of responses...I hope I didn't make EVERYONE tottally hate Iruka... . Heh. It's not really about him anymore, though, is it? lol. I don't know how this fic turned from a story about Iruka overcoming a new and horrible challenge, to some deep introspective profile on Kakashi, but it did, lol. Don't hate 'Ruka-Kun too much though. He was having an exceptionally bad day. He feels bad. He really does, and he's sorry. (We just haven't gotten that far yet, lol) If you're one of the people who wrote a 'Ruka Rant' in the comments, and you haven't read the other reviews, you should go and read them, see how many people agree with you. It's amazing! (I love it! aahaha!)

4) I'm so dissappointed, someone called me on the thing with Sakura... but really, Sasuke had it figured out first, didn't he? He just didn't get it out quick enough. And Sakura wasn't really told, either, huh? lol. But yes, she was the catalyst.

5) Yeah. Kakashi nearly freaking killed Iruka. A small reminder to our dear Chuunin that docile as he's been, Kakashi is still dangerous. I fear I've softened him up WAY too much through his angsting (but with good cause) but the Jounin-at-fourteen world famous SHARINGAN Kakashi hasn't just dissappeared, either.

KEEP REVEIWING! I LOVE YOU ALL!


	11. Chapter 11

_AN: _

_1. For those of you who didn't JUST read ch. 10 and are following this fanfic as I update, you might want to go back and skim over Ch. 10, especially the end, as this picks up RIGHT where I left off._

_2. Added lines to break the scenes, as someone said it was a little hard to follow the changes. I don't really like the way it looks, but if it makes things easier for my beloved readers, well, then... (bends to thy will)_

_3. Enjoy:)_

_**Blind**_

11

"Iruka-San…?" He found his ward in the living room, resting on the couch.

"Yes?" Kakashi held his breath as Iruka turned his face up towards Kakashi, watching him approach. _Now or never…_ Kakashi thought, biting his lip. He wasn't proud of how his voice shook as he spoke.

"I…I need to tell you a few things…"

"Kakashi?" Iruka straightened up, looking out through shades of chakara at the slightly older man. "How's your shoulder?" He was misinterpreting the tone of Kakashi's voice for one of physical pain.

"It's fine…" Kakashi seated himself on the couch, though as far as possible from Iruka. "Look…this… No. Wait. Let me start over…" Iruka frowned. Kakashi hadn't gotten a single sentence out and he was already floundering? Oblivious to this, Kakashi went on. "First…I'm sorry." He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry for all the horrible _crap_ I've put you through." Iruka's breath caught. "I'm sorry for being such a fucking ass during the Chuunin exams, and I'm sorry for making you think you had to be worried about your own well being around me and I'm sorry for how uncomfortable and miserable I make you. And I'm sorry it took me so long to apologize." Iruka's jaw dropped.

"Kakashi…" Iruka's mind began to race, mental gears slipping in and out of place as he tried to grasp why this was happening _now_. Why did Kakashi sound so desolate?

"And I know you hate me anyway, and… well, I probably deserve it." Kakashi went on, not giving Iruka much time to think.

"Now Kakashi--" Iruka tried again. He almost asked Kakashi what was wrong with him.

"No. Wait. I'm not done…" Kakashi went on, voice still low and tight. "I have to keep apologizing, because now I'm going to tell you something you probably won't like, nor want to know, but…" Another weird pause, and Iruka frowned, focusing in on Kakashi's face, desperate to try and get a few leads. He poured his chakara out in waves, and was finally able to make out the other man's eyes, lips and finer facial features. He even saw the scar over his left eye, and was rather amazed at his own achievement. He was distracted from the pained way Kakashi's face was drawn up. "I…well, for one, Sakura will kill me, if I don't kill myself first…" Kakashi tried to laugh, but it became a weak, beaten sound that alarmed Iruka.

"I'm listening." He said, wondering just what the hell Kakashi could tell him that was so supposedly upsetting.

"I…" A long pause. "Shit…" He tried again. "I…" deep breath. "I never hated you, Iruka…I want you to know that. I know you thought that, didn't you?" Iruka nodded slowly. He was still watching Kakashi in shades of chakara. Iruka noticed how he kept his face averted as he spoke, eyes angled down at his knees in an almost demure fashion, if it weren't for the tension underlying his whole countenance. Kakashi went on. "Actually…you know, Tsunade probably put you in my care, because she knows-how, I don't know, but she does - that I really…" He cut off again, and Iruka got this sinking feeling that he knew what was coming. He felt the blood start to drain from his face. "God…I…" Kakashi's voice dropped to the barest whisper, and he turned even further away from Iruka. "I'm so in love with you…." Kakashi's voice was strained, and broke several times.

Iruka couldn't find anything to say. He sat with his mouth agape and the blood hammering in his ears. He worked his mouth, trying to speak. Kakashi kept talking, sounding now as if he were panicking.

"Please, don't say anything… It's not… I mean… I won't bother you, I promise I'll leave you alone, but I just… you needed to know… I promise I won't--" Kakashi cut off, shaking his head and already standing up to make an escape. "That's all--"

"Now wait a minute-!" Iruka reached out to grab at Kakashi's wrist as he stood, but Kakashi was too quick for him, and had retreated in a heartbeat. Iruka sat alone on the couch, trying to sort himself out. He kept trying to assess his feelings, or rather, find some way to be mad at Kakashi, but it wouldn't happen that way. He kept finding himself worrying for Kakashi more than anything. Iruka was still amazed at how he'd just witnessed the elite, the powerful, the one and only Hatake Kakashi completely crumble. Sighing, and casting with his Second Sight around the apartment, then stretching to the roof and around the building, and not finding Kakashi, Iruka stood wearily. "Tomodachi…"

"Iruka Sensei?" The loyal nin dog was at his side almost instantly. He must have seen what had transpired. Iruka didn't ask.

"Where's Kakashi hiding?" He asked instead. Tomodachi was silent for a few moments.

"…He's in his home…"

"Can you take me there?"

"He's in distress."

"That's why I need to find him, Tomodachi." Iruka said softly, rubbing the dog's head lovingly. If nothing else, Iruka loved Kakashi's dog.

"Okay…"

--------------------------------

Iruka entered Kakashi's two-room apartment in stealth. He'd already seen from a distance that Kakashi had curled up in his bed, unmoving. He stood watching Kakashi's chakara swirl, his whole system in discord with itself, a while before speaking.

"Don't tell me you love me, then run away." Iruka said, voice low. Kakashi cringed.

"Iruka…"

"What's the point? You didn't even give me a chance to speak." He moved to stand over the bed, and Kakashi. "How am I supposed to even think over what you said, when I'm too busy worrying what the hell you're doing running off from yourself?" He hadn't meant it as the lecture, but Iruka wasn't taking his words back, either. Kakashi turned away, curling in on himself.

"I'm sorry!" He almost cried it. Iruka, head spinning, acted on instinct.

"Stop it!" He reached out, grabbing Kakashi by the shoulders and pulled him against his own chest. "Just…Just _RELAX_ for a minute!" Iruka said finally. Kakashi, his arms loosely around either side of Iruka, his head on his chest, froze.

"Iruka…"

"Just relax. And don't run away."

"Sorry…"

"-and quit apologizing." Iruka finished. Kakashi remained frozen in his awkward position. Iruka shook him. "I said relax. Honestly. Just… I'm not going to rip you apart or anything. Just sit still and give me a minute to think." Iruka spoke very quickly, sitting on the edge of the bed even as Kakashi straightened up into a more comfortable position. He kept his face buried against Iruka's shoulder.

"Is…is this okay?" He asked softly into the silence that followed. Iruka thought for a few seconds. He wasn't sure, but he couldn't take Kakashi cracking up on him, either.

"Yeah… you're okay." He put a hand on Kakashi's back, noticed that he was trembling and sighed. "Have you ever thought, just maybe, that this is a little pathetic?" Iruka asked, trying to lighten the mood. "What would your students think?"

"They know." Kakashi's strained words came out muffled into Iruka's shirt. "Sakura… she saw…I lost control of my Sharingan…" He shook his head. "Never mind. They know. I'm sure they all know by now."

"How long?" Iruka asked. He felt detached. Someone who he had _thought_ hated him, had just admitted his _love_ for him. It was overwhelming. _And how do I feel about it being a man…?_ Iruka had to ask himself that. He was surprised that it wasn't instant repulsion, but then again, he hadn't really ever had much time for soul-mate searching. He'd always assumed he liked women, but hadn't really ever thought about it. He'd only really had one girlfriend, and that was back when he was a genin… He shook his head, clearing it.

"About a year…" Kakashi admitted. Oddly, that didn't surprise Iruka, either.

"Why _me_?" Iruka breathed. Kakashi had brought one hand up to his shoulder, and his fingers curled into Iruka's shirt slightly.

"You…you're smart, witty, charming, handsome, _incredibly_ cute…You're just…wonderful." Kakashi said, whispering. "Me? I'm just a perverted old bastard and a cold-hearted killer."

"I wouldn't say that." Iruka said. Kakashi gave a small snort of disbelief. "You can't be completely cold hearted if you fell in love." Iruka said, feeling oddly relaxed with talking about it. Kakashi flinched. "I didn't know you…"

"Yeah." Kakashi didn't really want to hear Iruka say it. He knew the next thing Iruka would say is. 'Yeah. And I'm straight. Tough cookies.'

"I never really thought about it, myself…"

"I thought it would be obvious…" Kakashi said.

"Maybe… never really bothered to think, though."

"It doesn't really matter though…" Kakashi said, prematurely admitting defeat.

"Just let me think for a while…" Iruka said gently. Kakashi lifted his head, searching Iruka's face. He reached up tentatively, pushing the hitai-ate off Iruka's eyes so he could see them. Iruka turned his face away sharply. "Don't look…" He said.

"Why not?" Kakashi asked, sitting up. He kept his shoulder pressed against Iruka's, as if unwilling to break the physical contact. Iruka didn't fail to notice. "I love this part of you too."

"They're gross."

"Not really…" Kakashi argued. Iruka slowly turned his face back towards Kakashi, eyes open and fixed unnaturally on his. Kakashi smiled slightly. "You can see my face now, can't you?"

"Yeah…" Iruka admitted.

"You know what…?" Kakashi went on, still staring back at Iruka's hazy pale eyes. His pupils were barely visible in the gray haze of blindness. Iruka blinked. "They remind me of Hyuga eyes…" Iruka frowned, eyebrows knitting. "No really. They have that opalescent look now…and…you can see more than most, deeper than just the skin, just like Hyuuga eyes. I know, when you look at me, that you don't just see my face. You see my pulse, and my breathing, and the flow of my chakara… It's amazing really." Iruka wrinkled his nose further, searching for something to disagree with, but Kakashi had a point. "And I know you can't see the world around you like you should but they're still _your eyes_." Kakashi went on. "Still expressive-no, don't look away!" Kakashi's half-whine brought Iruka to face the other man again. Iruka shook his head after a minute.

"Why _me_?" He asked again, moving as Kakashi straightened up finally, pulling away.

"I thought we just went over that…" Kakashi said softly.

"Kakashi…" Tomodachi stood at the foot of Kakashi's bed, watching his master and Iruka carefully. "Are you alright?" Kakashi smiled weakly at the dog.

"I don't know…"

"He'll be fine, Tomodachi." Iruka said after a minute. Both summon and master turned to look at Iruka weirdly. "Kakashi," Iruka went on. "Are you going to just sit in bed all day and pout, or are you going to take me home?" Kakashi stood quickly, too quickly, his feet almost tangling in his own sheets.

---------------------------------

Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke hadn't moved far from where they'd been when Iruka and Kakashi had left them. Sakura was seated, still rubbing her now red eyes with the back of her wrist. Naruto sat beside her, worrying over her but afraid to do much. Sasuke stood like a pillar over the pair, eyes fixed off on the distant sky. Both he and Naruto were startled when Sakura jumped to her feet suddenly.

"Aagh! I can't take this!" She cried. "I gotta check on them…!"

"Sakura, it's only been twenty minutes." Sasuke pointed out.

"And it's been _too_ long! I know I told Kakashi Sensei to tell Iruka-Sensei by this weekend, but he'll just die by then, I know it!

Sasuke and Naruto couldn't bring themselves to disagree with her.

"I'm going to check on them." She didn't need to ask them to come. They followed anyway.

----------------------------------

Kakashi arrived in a swirl of chakara smoke in Iruka's home with Tomodachi at his heels, and Iruka in his arms. For a fleeting moment, he felt like this was how his life had always been. It was deliciously perfect.

And then Iruka squirmed out of his grip and Tomodachi rushed to the door, barking. Perfect things, apparently, did not last. Kakashi's head swam and he tried to get a grip on reality. Iruka pulling away from him made perfect sense, but he couldn't quite figure out why Tomodachi was barking.

"Kakashi!" Iruka shook him by the shoulders just a little, and he jumped. Only then could he hear the steady pounding on Iruka's front door.

"Iruka-Sensei! Kakashi-Sensei!" Sakura's voice was shrill even when muffled by half an apartment, a brick wall, and a heavy oak door.

"Iruka-Senseiii!" Naruto's voice grated over Sakura's. Kakashi whimpered, flopping back onto the couch.

"Can we pretend we're not here?" He asked softly. Iruka sighed and cut through his house to let the kids in himself.

Opening the door, Iruka waited. Naruto and Sakura had gone quiet, startled that it had been him, and not Kakashi who answered the door. They were blue and white ghosts to him, but he recognized them easily. They both looked anxious. Further away from the door, a gray, Sasuke-shaped ghost lounged against a near-invisible wall. Iruka frowned. He couldn't make out Sasuke's features, and Sakura and Naruto's were blurring. He was slowly exhausting himself.

"Iruka-Sensei!" Sakura's voice shook. "Is Kakashi-Sensei there? We _really_ need to talk to him!" Iruka arched an eyebrow. '_They know,'_ Kakashi had said. '_Sakura…she saw-'_ Iruka's lips quirked just a little.

"I don't think he's up for talking." Iruka said.

"It's an emergency!" Sakura pressed. "I'm really _really _worried about him!" She was trying to push past Iruka by now, and her voice was frantic. He felt kind of bad. He pulled his waning attention to Sasuke and Naruto. He sighed, putting a hand on Sakura's shoulder. She went still.

"If this is about what you saw in the Sharingan," Iruka said cryptically, not knowing whether or not the boys knew, "We've talked." Sakura gasped.

"Is he alright?" She asked breathily. Iruka sighed.

"I'm worried too." Sasuke said suddenly. Both of Iruka's eyebrows went up.

"Come on in." He said, stepping away. "Naruto-" He added, catching the boy's shoulder as he passed. "Help me in, would you? I'm worn out…" Naruto hesitated just a little.

"Okay." Hesitation over, Naruto took his hand and led him, albeit awkwardly, back to the living room where Kakashi was still sprawled on the couch. His eyes were closed by the time Sasuke and Sakura piled into the room. Iruka lingered back by the door. Naruto lingered by Iruka.

"Kakashi-Sensei…" Sakura's voice had grown soft.

"What?" Kakashi answered her, but didn't open his eyes.

"Are y-you oka-"

"I don't _know_ Sakura." Kakashi cut her off. He lifted a hand to rub his face wearily. "I don't know anything right now." His voice cracked. Kakashi sat up suddenly, looked around once, and hurried out of the room. Silence stretched. In the back of the house, they could hear Tomodachi saying something to Kakashi, but only Iruka, with his sharpened hearing, could make it out.

"Kakashi, it's not going to do you any good to lock yourself in the bathroom and hide," He dog said. Iruka heard the bathroom door open softly, and he figured Kakashi had agreed to come back out. Only Tomodachi reappeared, however. "Sasuke-kun, Naruto-kun, Sakura-chan, would the three of you come outside with me for a minute." The nin dog had an air of teacherly maturity that rivaled Iruka's, and the three followed him without argument. They did however exchange a set of glances, silently concluding that their sensei's dog was more mature and well mannered than he was. Sasuke added a final glance that clearly said, 'that isn't saying much.'

Tomodachi led them straight out Iruka's front door, onto the little sheltered area just outside. Beyond, it had started to rain gently. The earthy smell of the rain and the cooled air was refreshing.

"I'm sure," Tomodachi began, "That Kakashi-sensei appreciates your concern." The three remained silent, glancing as one back towards the house. "But this is a very difficult time for not only Kakashi, but Iruka-Sensei as well. I haven't sensed this great of fear in my master in ages. He is terrified, which I'm sure you can tell, and Iruka-Sensei is greatly confused. It's a bad combination, to say the least." The three genin nodded in agreement at this. "I would therefore ask you, for both their sakes, to leave them alone for now and let them settle things on their own. Kakashi cannot be brave so long as he is uncertain, and Iruka-Sensei cannot be forced to feel a certain way." Someone, possibly Naruto, sniffed. "I have been with Iruka-Sensei all afternoon, and therefore witnessed the whole of this fiasco. Kakashi did little more than apologize profusely, confess, apologize again and then run off. They have yet to talk things over properly."

"Then we should go." Sasuke said.

"Is…Is Iruka-Sensei mad?" Naruto asked timidly. Now that all the pieces of the puzzle were in place, Naruto could sympathize with Kakashi-Sensei. Sakura had only stopped hating him once he'd gotten over his crush on her.

"It does not appear so," Tomodachi said, smiling in his canine way in an attempt to console the children.

"We sh-should go and say goodbye…" Sakura said. Sasuke and Naruto were silent, but the former nodded sagely, agreeing.

"Yeah…" Naruto reached over Tomodachi and pushed Iruka's front door back open, smiling winningly as he became once again the noisy boy the entirety of Konoha knew him to be. "OI! KAKASHI SENSEIII! IRUKA-SENSEI! We gotta go!"

----------------------------------

Kakashi stared into the silence that followed his student's departure, eyes fixed on Iruka's sloppily made ponytail. Outside, the rain picked up, pattering insistently against the living room window. A dull, blue-gray light shone in from outside, the mid-afternoon sun dulled to steel by the rain clouds. He winced a little, realizing that the kids were likely caught right in the middle of the increasing downpour.

Iruka sat primly on the couch, back straight, and turned perfectly away from Kakashi. He knew quite well that the silver-haired nin had entered the room, just lingering inside the threshold.

"Kakashi…" The silence, on top of the deepest, thickest black that ruled his world, was just a little too much for Iruka. "Are you going to hide in the shadows or are you going to come out and talk to me?"

Kakashi was silent for a very long time. So long that Iruka wondered if maybe he'd slipped off when he wasn't paying attention.

"….It depends…" Iruka sighed.

"I won't bite."

"Really?" Kakashi asked. Iruka grimaced, realizing that actually, he bit quite hard, and frequently. He sobered, head lowering.

"Yeah… Hey, about how I've been…I'm…I'm sorry…I was just so angry-"

"I know." Kakashi's voice was low and guarded. "It doesn't matter." Iruka frowned. What the hell was that supposed to mean? "You don't have to force yourself to like me. It's fine, really. Nothing's changed." Iruka opened his mouth to respond, feeling a flood of indignant anger hit him, but Kakashi's presence had disappeared. Iruka's lip curled up slightly, frustration welling in his belly like acid.

"Coward." He grumbled, standing. "Tomodachi-"

"He's in the bedroom." Iruka paused, startled by the nin dog's immediate response, then smiled just slightly. "Do you need help?" Iruka shook his head. He was exhausted, but he could get that far.

"No, I'm fine."

---------------------------------

Iruka got to his bedroom door, catching a glimpse of Kakashi curled on his futon, back turned away, before his world slipped into darkness again without his permission.

_Damn…I need to work on this…_ Ignoring his own shortcomings as a ninja, Iruka stumbled through the darkness until his toes collided with the overstuffed bedroll, and dropped to his knees, nearly falling flat onto Kakashi. The other nin, caught unawares in his despondency, yelped, rolling away from Iruka slightly and pulling his knees up protectively. Iruka felt the shift in the mattress, sat back on his heels, kneeling, and waited.

"You're driving me insane." He said flatly. "You try to run away one more time without at LEAST giving me a chance to say anything, and I'm going to find you-again- and knock your block off. You got it?"

"There's nothing to talk about, Iruka-Sensei." Kakashi said. His voice sounded muffled.

"Is that why you're talking into my pillow?" Iruka countered dryly. He heard Kakashi shift, sitting up.

"Sorry."

"Is it really that bad?" Iruka asked, startled by Kakashi's tone.

"I don't want to talk about it." Kakashi mumbled. Iruka chewed on his lip. It was quickly dawning on him what potential he had to hurt the other man. Such power to cut quick and deep. But did he really want that? Why was he even thinking about it? Nobody could possibly hate another that much. Especially on such rickety bases as Iruka had to be angry at Kakashi in the first place. How hard had he tried, in the last dozen days? It seemed like an eternity of awkward moments and anger, but in retrospect, Iruka noted the dotted moments of peace mixed in as well, though they were few and far between. Why? Because Iruka had been so uptight… he was still uptight, and he felt he had a very good reason to be. Kakashi wasn't helping in the least. He was utterly vexed by the other man, driven straight up a wall and around the corner by all of Kakashi's weird quirks, his touchy-feely closeness and constant vigilance, as if Iruka was so weak that he might shatter to dust at any given moment. It was frustrating, and belittling to Iruka.

At least it had been.

Now, suddenly it all made sense. Iruka's head reeled, and his heart ached slightly as he realized his mistake. He thought of how Kakashi had only an hour or so earlier taken a potentially lethal blow for him, how Kakashi had done his very best to make things as easy as possible for Iruka. He had kept his distance as best he could, especially since their dual situation allowed for almost no distance between them at all. He caught Iruka when he fell, and propped him back up and let him keep his pride. He gently supported him but forced him to grow stronger, helped him live life like a normal person, even when Kakashi himself was so obviously _not_ normal by anyone's standards. He cared. How could Iruka hate him for that?

Iruka was blind.

"Kakashi…listen…" Iruka paused, sorting his words out. He didn't want this. He didn't want to hurt Kakashi, and he didn't want to be such an asshole anymore. He wasn't sure he wanted Kakashi's love, but he'd figure that out later… He opened his mouth to go on but was interrupted by a loud thumping at the front door. He jumped from the sudden sound, all other noises of the world hushed by the rain. He felt Kakashi shift on the mattress.

"Hang on…" He mumbled, and Iruka swayed a little as the weight distribution on his bed suddenly changed as Kakashi stood. Soft footsteps were barely audible as he padded out of the room in silence. Iruka stayed where he was, listening. He was going to throttle whoever it was that just interrupted him.

His ears perked as he heard Kakashi open the door.

"Hatake-San."

"Anbu-San," Kakashi murmured in response. Iruka bit his lip. Okay, maybe he wouldn't throttle the nin who'd just interrupted them. There was a low murmured message that Iruka couldn't make out any of, except for Kakashi's final response. "…Understood." The door clicked shut again, but Kakashi didn't move. "Iruka-San…" Kakashi said, voice still low.

"I'm listening." Iruka said back, trusting that if he could hear Kakashi, that the other ninja could hear him as well. Neither needed to raise his voice.

"Hokage-Sama has summoned me."

"You'd better come back. I'm not done with you yet." Iruka said firmly. There was a long, telling pause. Iruka frowned. "Kakashi!" His tone was a warning, rising just slightly.

"…I'll be back." Kakashi said, voice clearing. Iruka sighed at the sound of the tell-tale pop of Kakashi's departure.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Yeah. This was a pretty anticlimatic chapter, especially after the last one, but things need to settle down for the boys for a while. ) They're both stuck in limbo now. Anyway, things slow down for a chapter or two.

Sorry for the semi-cliffhanger. Also, sorry it's been taking me progressively longer each time to update. I used to be so much better about this sort of thing, but I've become easily distracted lately. And I'm lazy.

Much thanks to those who are ever-so-politely nagging me to update. You're not in the wrong to do so, and I appreciate the reminders/motivation. If it takes me too long to get ch. 12 up (and so on) Feel free to whine. I imagine once the holidays are here I'll be more punctual, as I'll have more free time to write. (not that I don't have a lot of free time now, I'm just usually too worn out to bother with actually THINKING lol)

!SUPER THANKYOUS to all my WONDERFUL reviewers! I'm so stoked about this fanfic! I've never had half the responses I've recieved in writing this baby and I'm just THRILLED. Cookies to all who've so indulgently stroked my ego. I've worked really hard on this story, keeping it 'real', etc but I never expected people to get so excited about it.

Several of these lovely reviews I've received are actually saved to my computer! You guys are awesome!

! Don't forget though- constructive critisim, if you have it, is just as welcome. I'm a path to self betterment here. :)

Suggestions welcome, as well. I have a pretty good idea of where I'm going with this fanfic, but it never hurts to hear another person's opinion :)

that said,

R&R PLEASE! (not that I have to ask, ne?)

MRE


	12. Chapter 12

_**Blind**_

12

"Yes, Hokage-Sama?"

"My, aren't we formal today, Hatake." Tsunade sat back in her seat, peering over her large, cluttered desk at the Jounin before her.

"…" Kakashi kept his head down. He did NOT want to be here. Now he would have to go through all the terrible dread of going _back_ to Iruka's apartment, confronting the Chuunin _again._ He wasn't sure he could take a third go. When Kakashi did not respond to her jibe, Tsunade raised a curious eyebrow. What fun was it when her verbal sparring nemesis wouldn't even talk?

"Are you taking the medicine I prescribed you, Kakashi-Kun?" She asked, voice low and serious.

"Yes." Kakashi answered.

"It doesn't look like it." She frowned, glaring at him. What the hell was his problem!

"I've…had an exceptionally trying day." He explained. Tsunade looked him over again. His visible eye was a little puffy, the little skin visible around it pale. His left shoulder was resting stiffly in an awkward position almost up near his ear, his right hand clenched in a fist. His head was down so low that his chin nearly touched his chest. His left arm was curled loosely around his stomach, as if he felt ill.

"What happened to your shoulder?" She asked. Tsunade frowned. She had meant to ask him if he was going to be alright. His body language worried her as much as his silence.

"Kunai."

"Pray tell how that happened?"

"Training with Iruka."

"With kunai? I thought Iruka couldn't see."

"He can see fine in a fight, so long as his stamina holds." Kakashi replied in that same tight, low tone.

"I see. So you let a Chuunin kunai you in the shoulder?"

"No." Kakashi answered. Tsunade pursed her lips, waiting.

Silence stretched. Kakashi shifted a little under her glare.

"I threw it. It's path was far too dangerous so I had to block it before it struck. It was the best I could do in the given situation."

"Ah…You bandaged it?"

"Sakura-Chan took care of it." Kakashi's voice cracked oddly on the girls name, making Tsunade's frown grow.

"What happened?" Tsunade asked, tone softer.

"Nothing." Tsunade could see Kakashi's jaw set firmly, even through the mask and knew she would get no more answers out of him on the topic. She sighed.

"Well report the progress of your mission, then, Hatake. That's the reason I called you in here."

"In all honesty, I think Iruka-Sensei would do fine without me, at this point." Kakashi said, speaking to a slightly chewed-up pencil on Tsunade's desk.

"Whussing out already, Hatake?"

"Tsunade-Sama, with all due respect-"

"I gave you this assignment for a reason, Kakashi." That, finally, got a reaction out of the Jounin.

"And what exactly would that reason be, pray tell?" Kakashi demanded, voice clipped. "You said that all before. Give me _one_ good reason why you think I'm the right man for the job!" Tsunade did not hesitate to answer.

"Because your devotion to Iruka-Sensei surpasses that of anyone in this village. Even Naruto." She said firmly, staring across the expanse of her desk at Kakashi, hazel eyes piercing. Kakashi paled several degrees.

"What if I fail?"

"You won't fail." Tsunade said confidently.

"I fear I will, Hokage-Sama." Kakashi said softly.

"You won't." Tsunade said.

"But what if-"

"You're better than that." She didn't even let him finish. She didn't care what his excuse was. She knew what she told him was true, any way one looked at it. Kakashi fell silent.

"I don't think I'm good enough…for him." Kakashi said very softly, after a long, thoughtful silence. Tsunade frowned.

"That's not what this is about." She said.

"It is now. You can't expect me to separate my mission from my feelings, when it was those same emotions that apparently landed me the job in the first place." He pointed out.

"He knows, doesn't he? Didn't go over well?" Tsunade asked cruelly.

"I don't know how it's gone over, Tsunade-San." Kakashi snapped bitterly. "He was about to finally say something when your ANBU came knocking."

Tsunade had the grace to wince, just slightly. _Oops._ She was harsh to Kakashi, but she was also very sincerely concerned for him -she'd never seen him looking _this_ messed up. Not in over a decade, at least. She and Jiraiya had had one hell of a mess to clean up after the Yondaime's death, but since then Kakashi had been, emotionally, firm as steel. He only showed what he _wanted_ to show, and when he desired to do so. This near total loss of composure was _not_ like him. Not at all.

"You're dismissed, then." She said, sitting back in her high-backed chair. She saw a brief ripple of terror cross Kakashi's features, and watched him with interest as he bowed stiffly and turned to go. "Wait a minute-" She added, just before he got to the door. "Come back here, Hatake." Kakashi froze, and turned slowly on his heels to face Tsunade again. She lifted a hand, waggling a painted finger at him. "Come here. I'm not poison, you know." Kakashi grimaced visibly, ducking his head and shuffling back over to stand in front of her desk. Tsunade sighed. "No, come _here. _Come on. I want to fix that shoulder of yours. It looks awful even from here." She held her hand out to him again, and eventually he was standing by her chair, and Tsunade stood to face him.

"It's really OK, Hokage-Sama…" Kakashi murmured.

"Front or back side?"

"Back." Kakashi answered.

"Turn around then. And pull your shirt up a bit." He did so, and Tsunade examined Sakura's bandaging job. She made a pleased sound of approval. "Sakura's getting good." She commented. Kakashi smiled slightly, his ears shifting slightly as he did so. Tsunade smirked. What the world would say if it knew the mighty Hatake Kakashi's ears wiggled!

"That she is." Kakashi agreed more confidently, proud of his student. A pause. "Would you take her in as a full time apprentice? She's a natural healer." Aah. Ever the responsible teacher. For all his annoying quirks that drove his students crazy, he'd really done quite well with them. He'd make a good father, Tsunade mused. _Balls to that idea…this boy wouldn't poke a woman with a ten-foot senbon. _Smirking at that notion, Tsunade placed her palm over the epicenter of the white bandages-barely blood stained though she knew an injury to that region would bleed like hell; another tribute to Sakura's skills- and took a slow breath.

"Breathe in." She instructed. Kakashi obeyed. She gathered her chakara, pushing the life essence into her palm, then further into Kakashi, knitting the painful kunai wound back together, leaving nothing but a fresh, but already fading scar. "I'd be glad to take Sakura in full time, if she wishes. She can come to me whenever she likes. You tell her that."

"I will. Thank you Hokage-Sama." Kakashi said. His voice was a little wet, and Tsunade smiled grimly, giving his now healed shoulder a gentle shove, yanking his shirt back down with her free hand.

"Any time. Now go straighten out that mess with Iruka-kun you've made." Kakashi turned and bowed, then immediately vanished.

Kakashi returned to Iruka's apartment to find the Chuunin seated on the floor by his stereo again. The music playing was so soft it was barely audible until Kakashi was within a few feet of Iruka. He paused, looking down at the man folded up on the floor.

Iruka had pulled of his hitai-ate blindfold, but had his eyes closed, his head tilted slightly to the side as he listened to the music, obviously focusing in on it. His face was placid, his breathing slow and even, and in all, he almost looked asleep. The only signal of any form of alertness in the man was his straight-backed posture, and the faint smile on his lips. He didn't, however, seem aware of Kakashi's presence.

"Iruka-San…" Kakashi had barely whispered Iruka's name, but Iruka's pale eyes flashed open and his head turned to face Kakashi. He blinked, remembering belatedly that he couldn't see, and closed his eyes again, lifting the forehead protector from where it had rested on his knee.

"Kakashi-San." Iruka said, voice as low as his music. "How was your visit with Hokage-Sama?"

"She wanted a report on your condition. She fixed my shoulder." Kakashi said. He was tense. And drained. He couldn't help but lament once again how exhausted he'd been since Iruka had come under his care.

Not that any of it was Iruka's fault. Kakashi was just worn out, and he didn't really understand why. He wasn't used to constant emotional stress.

"Oh good." Iruka said. He didn't know what to do, but wanted to be as civil as possible. He could easily hear the strain in Kakashi's voice. He listened as Kakashi slumped into the couch with a tired sigh, falling silent. Iruka reached over towards his stereo to turn his music off, but Kakashi spoke up.

"No, leave it on. It's nice." Iruka pulled his hand back to his chest, trying not to let himself get angry at Kakashi for watching him.

"Kakashi…" Iruka climbed carefully to his feet, trying not to visibly sway. He hated being so disoriented all the time. He didn't want Kakashi to see his weakness. "You sound exhausted. You should rest a little. I'll call Ichiraku's and order something so you don't have to worry about dinner." It wasn't an apology, but it was a start.

Kakashi stared up at Iruka, knowing the other man was too tired to see him, to know that he was so openly looking.

"O-okay. Do you need help?"

"I think I'm okay. Just rest up. I know you've had a rough day…" _And it's mostly my fault, isn't it…?_ Iruka thought bitterly to himself. He wanted to see Kakashi's face, wanted to know he was alright. But that was nonsense, of course.

Kakashi wasn't alright, and now Iruka knew it.

"What do you want?"

"Whatever you're having is fine." Kakashi said softly, slumping back on the couch. He'd lain down across it's length and was hugging one of the cushions to his chest for comfort. His only salvation was that he had no need to worry about his image around Iruka. At least until he regained some of his chakara.

"Okay. Rest up, Kakashi." Iruka said, brushing past the couch and heading into the other room. Kakashi sat up to watch him go. Iruka walked slowly, one hand out in search of obstacles or physical landmarks that guided him through the room and into the kitchen. His movements were far from confident, but they were ever improving.

Halfway through the kitchen, Tomodachi appeared by Iruka's side, nuzzling the brunette's hand lovingly. Kakashi sighed, tearing his eyes away.

He closed his eyes tiredly.

"Kakashi. Kakashi!" Kakashi gasped, both his eyes snapping open though his sharingan was still safely covered by his forehead protector. His vision cleared and he fixed on Iruka who was stooped awkwardly over him. The Chuunin's hand was on Kakashi's shoulder, still shaking him. Tomodachi nuzzled him once then backed away. "Wake up-" Iruka went on, still shaking him as Kakashi had made no sound.

"Wuh…awake…'M awake…" Kakashi struggled up into a sitting position, blinking hazily. Iruka's hand fell away instantly, leaving Kakashi's shoulder pointedly cold.

"You passed out." Iruka said, backing away carefully. His head was down, hidden gaze pointed at the floor and one hand rested on Tomodachi's head. There was a dullness to the man's aura that told Kakashi his chakara had not yet recovered. Kakashi bit his lip under his mask, feeling guilty that he'd gone and dozed off, leaving Iruka alone in the dark.

"I'm sorry." He said. Iruka frowned.

"Why?" He couldn't help but wonder what it was Kakashi had done now.

"For deserting you when you may have actually needed help." Kakashi said softly.

"I was fine. Tomodachi was here, and it hasn't been long…" Iruka said. He paused. "Though answering the door was a bit of a trick."

"The door?"

"You must have been really exhausted if it didn't wake you up. We caused a bit of a ruckus. The shop owner sent Naruto to deliver our dinner." Iruka smiled wryly. Kakashi's normally droopy eye widened, though only Tomodachi witnessed it.

"Naruto! Is he--"

"He's gone. He was offered free ramen for making the delivery within a certain time limit, so of course he was in a hurry." Iruka's smile grew, and Kakashi watched his lips in fascination. "But-!" Iruka went on, "My point is, dinner's here. Sleeping through your meals isn't going to help you feel any better." Kakashi blinked, still marveling over how he'd managed to sleep through _Naruto_. He rubbed his face, sighing heavily.

_Kami help me, I'm going insane…_

Of course, Iruka hadn't told him that he'd very carefully kept the still-worried Naruto as quiet as possible in order to let the Jounin sleep.

Kakashi found Iruka and Tomodachi in the kitchen, Iruka waiting for him.

"I don't want to make a mess, can you get these please?" He said, tapping his hand over the top of one of the take out containers on the counter. Kakashi nodded, then grimaced.

"Yeah. No problem." He hurried over to Iruka's side, dishing out twin servings of miso and pork ramen into bowls for himself and Iruka. He took a bowl over to Iruka, who'd found his way to the table and was waiting quietly. "Iruka-Sensei," Kakashi said quietly, brushing Iruka's wrist just slightly as he set down the bowl in front of him. Iruka lifted his hand, allowing Kakashi to hand him a pair of chopsticks. He felt Kakashi's fingertips brush his knuckles, knew that the Jounin was stealing a touch, but bit his tongue slightly against any sort of protest that might come up. He felt suddenly guilty over how many times he'd snapped over something so simple, so superfluous.

"Kakashi," He began.

"I'm sorry." Kakashi said quickly. Iruka sighed heavily.

"Don't worry about that." He said, sensing Kakashi's guilt. "I wasn't…well, that's what I mean. I'm sorry." Iruka said.

Kakashi was silent, blinking dumbly at the blind man sitting at the table. He sat down as well, feeling dizzy.

"Huh?" He said finally.

"For being such a prick, I mean." Iruka mumbled. "I can't say I've been very fair to you, Kakashi. I'm sorry. I didn't reali-"

"Stop. Don't." Kakashi said suddenly. He was shaking head to toe and he just couldn't bear to hear Iruka say another word. "You don't need to apologize for anything. You've had enough to worry about without that."

"Kakashi," Iruka went on, frustrated.

"I can't." Kakashi cut him off, voice cracking. "Just don't." He repeated, voice barely audible. He stood, leaving the table and crossing the kitchen.

"Will you always run?" Iruka asked voice icing over just slightly.

"What would you do, Iruka?" Kakashi asked softly. He left the room, heading for his sanctuary on the couch.

Iruka sat alone at the table, eating his ramen carefully-it was a real trick to manage the noodles by brail with his chopsticks, thinking.

He was trying so hard. Kakashi's unease was far from invisible, and he didn't want Kakashi to be in pain. No human should suffer. That was Iruka's view on life.

But he'd be damned if Kakashi wasn't making things _really_ difficult for him!

His meal finished, Iruka sat leaning on his elbows, resting. He could feel his energy replenishing itself with a little bit of food in his system, and was simply biding his time. Besides, Tomodachi was lying under the table, the majority of his weight stretched across Iruka's feet, making it difficult to move.

Eventually, his head started to droop, and without something concrete to focus his attention on, Iruka found himself becoming increasingly drowsy. Grunting slightly, he shuffled out of his seat, stretching his awareness enough to get at least a vague whisper of a view of his home. Things were blurry, even by his Second Sight standards, but it was enough for Iruka to find Kakashi in the living room, seated stiffly on the couch, head down.

"Kakashi." He watched the other man lift his head in response. Kakashi tensed, fearing that Iruka was going to corner him and make him talk more.

He really didn't feel like talking. Even after his afternoon nap, he felt threadbare.

"Yes?" He hoped his voice didn't sound too uneasy.

"I'm going to bed before I pass out on my own." Iruka said simply. Kakashi felt a wave of disappointment mix in with his relief. Some deeper part of him wished that Iruka would just force him into a corner, tell him he hated him, and to leave him the hell alone. Then, perhaps, Kakashi could pick himself back up and move on. No such luck, it seemed.

"Do you need anything?" Kakashi asked, swallowing.

"I'm alright, thanks. My sight has returned to me, just a little."

"You're getting stronger." Kakashi said softly. He couldn't help but feel a little pride for Iruka. "I'll bet you're back at the Academy in no time." Iruka blushed just a little as Kakashi watched him from his seat on the sofa.

"You…you think?" Iruka asked softly.

"You had vision for the better part of today, Iruka." Kakashi pointed out. He felt himself soften at the hopeful look that enchanted his ward's face. _Please, smile again…_

"Fat lot of good it's doing me now," Iruka said. It felt weird to be talking so casually with Kakashi, so suddenly. What had changed?

"Not much, maybe. But it'll do you good tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that… You can only improve from where you're at now." Kakashi said.

"Am I that pathetic?" Iruka asked, snorting.

"You're that strong." Kakashi countered. Iruka went still, startled by the seriousness in Kakashi's soft voice.

_He really believes it… How can he think I'm that strong?_ Iruka had never thought of himself as strong. That was one of the reasons he'd become a teacher. He didn't think he would survive long out on the field, if he were sent on missions regularly… His stomach twisted angrily as he realized that the last mission he'd been on was exactly what had landed him where he was today. He hadn't thought much of the botched mission, his life being so suddenly filled with greater concerns. He put a hand to his mouth, disgusted with himself. He'd failed. _Failed._ His teammates were, as far as he knew, dead. The mission had been a simple one, and while he hadn't been the team leader, he'd still _failed the mission. _He should have known to be more careful when the others fell to similar poisons. He could envision his team leader vividly in his mind as the man gagged once, wretched up a mouthful of blood, more coming out of his nose and eyes, before collapsing suddenly. He should have _responded_ better!

He should have thought about them long before now.

He should have been concerned about them when he woke up.

Iruka choked, his gut wrenching itself into vicious knots. His head swam as a small whimper slipped from him unwarranted

"Iruka?" Kakashi's suddenly concerned voice broke his reverie, and Iruka gasped, stumbling back. Kakashi was no longer on the couch, but standing only inches away from him.

"Aah--!" Iruka reeled, disoriented and upset.

"Iruka. It's just me. Relax. I won't do anything…" Kakashi said.

"I--"

"What's wrong? Are you alright? You're white as a ghost, Iruka-san." Kakashi went on, voice hollow with concern. Iruka shuddered, fighting back tears.

"I failed…" He was surprised at how haunted his own voice sounded.

"What? Iruka-San!" Kakashi's voice rose slightly in his confusion.

"The mission!" Iruka barked. Kakashi went still again, lowering his head. Tsunade had given him what she could of the details. Another of Iruka's team had come back, bleeding from every pore in his body, screaming in agony for his mother only seconds before he'd died. Iruka had been the lucky one.

"There isn't anything you can do now, Iruka." He said softly.

"But--"

"It's in the past. It's a blessing you survived, Iruka." Kakashi's repeated use of Iruka's name gave it melodic properties, rolling off fabric-clad lips gently in soothing tones. Iruka subconsciously let Kakashi's low voice act as an anchor for him.

"I--"

"Hush." Kakashi reached out, gently pulling Iruka against his chest lightly. The smaller frame in his arms shuddered slightly, then relaxed. "It's all over with. You're safe, that's what matters." Kakashi whispered. Iruka flinched. Kakashi's throat nearly choked itself off completely from the feeling of Iruka leaning against him, accepting his offering of comfort. "None of that was your fault-nobody expected what happened."

"But--" One of Iruka's hands had bunched into Kakashi's shirt slightly, begging for comfort that Kakashi was more than glad to deliver. Iruka's breath on his throat was thrilling, but Kakashi pushed those feelings away, kept his actions selfless for Iruka's sake.

"No guilt... Please…" Kakashi breathed. Iruka trembled as Kakashi tightened his grip on him slightly. He nodded into Kakashi's chest, taking a deep breath, slowly forcing himself to calm down in the next few moments that passed.

"Okay…" He said finally trying to shift slightly. Kakashi held on. "Let go now, Kakashi…" Iruka added gently. Kakashi released him immediately without a word. Iruka tried to smile a little. "Thank you…" He said. Kakashi didn't say anything. The elite was afraid that if he opened his mouth he may start to cry. Iruka stood waiting in silence, then began to sway on his feet.

"Go to bed, Iruka." Kakashi whispered finally. Iruka nodded again.

"Yah…" What a day.

Iruka let Kakashi guide him back to his room, too weary to wonder if he had other motives in helping Iruka, or if it was sincere, or even if he really cared either way.

"Do we train again tomorrow?" Iruka asked, walking out of his bathroom, clad in only a pair of boxers and a sleepy expression. His-Kakashi's old hitai-ate was folded neatly on the counter by the sink, and his foggy eyes wandered aimlessly without him.

"Do you want to?" Kakashi asked, leaning on the doorframe, watching Iruka carefully. He would only step in if Iruka needed him. Kakashi knew perfectly well that just because Iruka knew about his feelings, it didn't mean he would instantly reciprocate them any more than he ever had before. He could tell Iruka was trying to be tolerant of him, and it broke Kakashi's heart. _I think I'd rather be hated…_'Tolerated'… what a shallow word. Not friends, nor lovers…not even enemies. Just… tolerated. Kakashi forced the thought out of his mind.

"I can't get stronger if I don't train…" Iruka said, hands knotting in the sheets of his bed as he sat up, head turned away from Kakashi. "And I need your help…I'm too close to useless on my own…"

"That's not true." Kakashi said, voice shaking slightly. "You're not useless." Tomodachi slipped in past Kakashi, trotting over to bound onto the foot of Iruka's bed as if he'd always lived with the Chuunin. Kakashi's sharp eyes watched the canine as he moved. Tomodachi grunted softly as he flopped onto his belly over Iruka's feet, almost instantly going to sleep. He too was worn out by Kakashi and Iruka's….adventurous day.

Iruka looked as if he was going to argue again, and Kakashi quickly went on.

"But, if you desire me to help you in your training, then help you I will. It is my mission, after all." Kakashi said, turning away and preparing to leave now that his ward was settled.

"Only your mission?" Iruka asked softly. Kakashi froze only a step out of the room, back straight and rigid. He did not turn around, nor did he respond. He closed the door softly and hurried back to 'his' couch.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Sporking effective. I stopped in the middle of a project for my aviation class to post this. I hope everybody's happy. (is cranky cause she's gotta do homework)

Don't ask. ----,

1) A few people asked me (or suggested that) if I was going to do any other pairings with the kids, and which I supported... (throws hands up) I duno! I don't think I'm going to put anybody else together in this because it would just make things messy, at this point. The kids are too concerned for their Sensei to worry about eachother. I don't know what I think about pairings between the three, anyway. It's such a disturbing little love triangle, lol. That and, I doubt you could tell from my writing here, but I absolutely detest Sasuke. He gets Orochimaru. lol. (OK, everybody together now : EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW!) No, I don't read that stuff. Joke. har har har.

2) ooh, I didn't realize how cranky I really am today! lol

3) it doesn't happen in this chapter, but my fanfic has now surpassed the 100 page mark, and is still going, making this by far the longest piece of writing I've ever done! ee. happy. all that lovely time wasted when I could be working and making money. Oh well. I'm a lazy ass anyway. :)

4) I might have said this already, but I'm still excited! Reviews have surpassed 300, and as far as I know, the hit counter has reset, and last I checked, like three or four days ago, had already gone back up to greater than 3000! AWESOME! I LOVE YOU GUYS!

That said, R&R.

MRE

PS. excuse any minor mistakes. I posted this one sooner than I'd planned (after getting threatened by a few fans, lol) and I didn't edit it as much as I could have. But I think its ok. :)


	13. Chapter 13

_**Blind**_

13

Kakashi stood in front of Iruka's stove, flipping pancakes. He wondered what his students would say, if they saw him like this. He certainly didn't cook like this for himself. He barely cooked for himself at all, actually. Usually, he either didn't eat at all, or ate take out. He wondered at his new lifestyle, brought on by none other that Umino Iruka. _I'll probably end up getting fat…_ He laughed a little to himself. He didn't have a single fat gene in his body, and the image of himself shaped like a sake barrel that formed in his mind was ridiculous.

_"Ne, Kakashi-kun, don't you ever eat! You're fifteen and almost as big around as my **leg**!" Kakashi stared at his Sensei as if the man had grown a second head. _

_"I eat." He said simply._

_"Eat **what** though! Ramen?"_

_"Well, yeah." He'd thought it was obvious. It wasn't like he had his mother or father, or any friends to cook for him._

_"That's it, isn't it!" His Sensei demanded. Kakashi rolled his eyes._

_"It's enough. I don't need anything fancy."_

_"You can't cook, can you, Kakashi?" There was laughter in the Yondaime's expressive eyes, even as Kakashi stared back at him blankly._

_"…"_

_"I'll teach you then!" His Sensei said happily._

_"You'll… **WHAT**?" _

_"Teach you to cook! You gotta know how to cook! You can't just survive on ramen the rest of your life!"_

_"No offense, Sensei, but I've done just fine so far."_

_"Yeah, but you're almost an adult now. You gotta learn to cook or you'll never impress any girls and you'll be single forever! Girls love a man who can cook!" The Yondaime said happily, smiling winningly down at Kakashi. He had only been married about a year._

_"…" Kakashi had nothing to say to that. _

_"Eew, girls, I know…" The Yondaime went on, dragging Kakashi through his own apartment to the small kitchen area, waving a package of vegetables he'd rescued from the fridge in his hand as he spoke. He glanced at Kakashi knowingly. "But in a few years, they won't seem so unappealing to yo-"_

_"I don't like girls." Kakashi said flatly. He stood with his arms folded over his slender chest, staring at his goofy sensei with all the sobriety and seriousness of a monk. Otherwise, just like usual. His Sensei laughed. _

_"You will. I didn't think girls were all that swell at first ei-" Kakashi yet again cut the Hokage off._

_"I like boys." He'd expected his Sensei to totally flip out, or at least falter, but he did neither._

_"Oh. Well, men enjoy good cooking too, you know. My wife…" He gave a hazy grin, "damn, but that woman can cook. Half the reason I married her. That and I think she's drop dead gorgeous…" He shook his hazy smile away. "But you know, Kakashi, they say a way to a man's heart is through his stomach."_

_Kakashi blinked. _Did he even hear me?_ He wondered. He looked back up at his Sensei to see the man watching him thoughtfully._

_"What, you think I wouldn't like you any more just because we're not batting for the same team?" Kakashi blinked again as his cheery sensei pulled him into a brief hug. "C'mon, it's going to take more than **that** to get rid of me. Now let's get started, shall we?"_

Kakashi smiled wryly to himself. He'd tried relentlessly to throw his Sensei off guard for years, but it had never worked. The man had been just too well grounded and level headed. Kakashi wished he was that strong.

He flipped a pancake, listening to the fresh batter sizzle.

Okay. Maybe not _that_ strong. He didn't want to put up with all the nasty business of being the leader and hero of an entire village.

_And look at where it got him…_ Kakashi couldn't help the bitter thought. His Sensei had died in the battle against the Nine Tailed Fox Demon only two weeks after they'd begun their impromptu cooking lessons. Once he'd recovered from the worst of the shock after his mentor had died, Kakashi had purchased several cooking manuals to further educate himself, in memory of his teacher and friend. Still, he'd never quite been able to fully put aside the death of his final friend. Loved ones had been so scarce to begin with, in Kakashi's youth. He couldn't allow himself to let go of the most precious of them all.

Over a decade had passed, and the wounds were still fresh and aching, sometimes.

Kakashi deftly flipped that batch of pancakes onto a plate by the side of the stove, then stuck the lot in the oven to warm. Pouring out the last of the batter into a final batch, he sprinkled blueberries into the still liquid batter, smiling.

He loved blueberries.

The second the Yondaime had found out, he'd shared his own _"Super Secret Top Notch Blueberry Pancakes"_ recipe. At the time, Kakashi had thought the man was just being an idiot, but over the years he'd discovered that there was not another pancake recipe quite like it. Back then, his Sensei had joked that the super secret ingredient was the blueberries. Now Kakashi knew it wasn't. He sniffed a little, and rubbed his misting eyes with his elbow, and blamed the light sheen of smoke that came from the grill for the way his eyes were watering.

"Something smells _really_ good." Iruka's interruption of Kakashi's reminiscing was a welcome one, and Kakashi turned slightly from the stove to see Iruka walking into the kitchen easily. He was finally managing to move with some grace again. "Pancakes?"

"Yeah. Some with blueberries, if you'd like to try that." Kakashi had to clear his throat before he spoke, but after that, his voice was clear. Iruka had gone quiet, and Kakashi had to turn away from his work again to glance at the other man, worried. Iruka was smiling faintly.

"My mother used to make blueberry pancakes…" He said quietly. Kakashi smiled grimly.

"Well, this recipe is a little bit different, but I think you'll like it."

"Different?"

"Something my Sensei taught me before he died. Has a few secret ingredients in it." Kakashi couldn't help but feel a little proud.

"Your Sens- You mean the Yondaime?"

"Yah. He thought I'd never get a date if I didn't learn to cook." Kakashi said with a small laugh. Iruka made a bit of a face.

"That's a little brutal," Iruka said, sitting down at the table and letting Kakashi have his space.

"Perhaps, but it's probably one of the most precious things he ever taught me." Kakashi said. That time his voice cracked just a little. He finished the last of the pancakes, set them to keep warm, and began bustling about to set up the rest of breakfast.

"You still mourn for him, don't you?" Iruka asked suddenly. Kakashi went rigid for a moment. He could feel Iruka's presence hover close to his, knew that the blind man was watching him closely.

"Yeah…" Kakashi admitted. He served Iruka his breakfast and hurried to take some of Tsunade's medicine. It was a bad sign that it wasn't yet eight in the morning and he was already terribly depressed. _Great, Konoha's elite, brought down by depression and lovesickness…_ Kakashi shook that thought away along with the bitter aftertaste of the herbs he no longer bothered to try and mask in tea, but instead simply mixed into a small shot of water. He shuddered and lunged for his glass of orange juice, slamming down half the glass in one gulp to try and subdue the horrid taste. _Blegh!_

"Kakashi?" Iruka asked.

"Hm?" Kakashi looked up as he finally sat down properly at the table with Iruka.

"Were you in love with him?"

Kakashi sputtered, eyes flying open wide, a little bit of orange juice spraying from his lips slightly. He choked down the mouthful of juice, gasping.

"Wha--!" The gears in Kakashi's mind had ground to a complete, screeching halt. _What the hell!_

"Were you in love with your Sensei, Kakashi?" Iruka repeated evenly. He was looking through his blindfold at Kakashi again, causing the Jounin to shiver just slightly. It was an eerie feeling, to be seen when you know you shouldn't be. It sobered Kakashi enough that he was able to answer Iruka relatively calmly.

"No. Nothing like that!" The question had rattled him pretty hard. "I…he was there when nobody else was left… he was…the last to leave me." Kakashi finished softly. Iruka had gone silent.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have--"

"No, it's okay. You just surprised the living hell out of me, that's all." Kakashi admitted.

"Oh!" Iruka looked slightly abashed. "It's just that I though since you--"

"Oh, I loved him very much. I still do. Just…" He gave a small laugh, "not like that." Kakashi admitted. _You're the first I've ever loved, like that…_ Kakashi almost added it out loud, but decided against it. He didn't want to make Iruka uncomfortable. Especially not this early in their day.

"Well, you'll have to remind me next time I visit the monument to thank our beloved Hokage-Sama for the lovely recipe he's passed on to you because this is delicious." Iruka said thickly, happily munching away. Kakashi's lips quirked up into a proud grin that he couldn't stop from forming. He couldn't help but wonder if his Sensei had been right all along after all.

"That, I can do." Kakashi said.

"Iruka-Sensei, you don't have to be able to count the ridges in the bark, hold back on your sight until you can divert your chakara easily." Iruka turned back to face Kakashi, panting.

"Easier said than done, Kakashi-_Sensei_." He ground out. He'd been climbing trees for hours.

Well. _Trying_ to climb trees. He couldn't seem to do it anymore. It didn't help that all around him, Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke and been running up and down the various trees in their favorite grove the whole time. He could hear the clinking of kunai and shruiken overhead, punctuated by the occasional curse or battle cry as they waged a mock war in the trees. He hadn't expected his Second Sight to take away from his chakara control this much. It was upsetting.

"There's no point at all in using that jitsu you've developed, if you can't function as a shinobi with it." Kakashi said calmly. He'd kept himself carefully professional since breakfast that morning with Iruka, and even the kids as well. Iruka could tell Team 7 was worried about him still.

"I'd like to see _you _try this then!" Iruka grumbled, straightening up from where he'd been standing, catching his breath. He hadn't gotten any higher than a couple of meters all day, and was slowly exhausting himself. He yanked off the hitai-ate that Kakashi had given him and chucked the metal plated bandana at the Jounin with a growl. Kakashi scrambled to catch the headband with a yelp, not letting it hit the ground. Iruka wasn't putting out the energy to see, but Kakashi was frowning down at the leaf headband darkly. He slipped it into his vest pocket, carefully clasping the button to secure it before turning his head back to face Iruka.

"Fine." He straightened his own hitai-ate so that it covered both eyes and walked slowly, casually, past Iruka, marching straight towards Iruka's tree.

Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke and Tomodachi appeared out of nowhere to watch. Iruka couldn't help but be awed at how well the three children had their radars turned to Kakashi. They always knew when something interesting was about to happen.

Kakashi had reached the tree, and lifted one leg to step onto the bark, foot fusing neatly with wood. In moments, he'd climbed to one of the higher branches, standing on the underside of it, face pointed back down at his audience.

Irked, Iruka pulled a kunai from his leg pouch and lobbed it at Kakashi.

It took the Jounin almost too long to react, and when he did, it was with a startled gasp as he drew his own kunai and blocked it with a sharp metallic sound.

As Iruka's kunai fell away from Kakashi, however, Kakashi fell away from the underside of the branch he'd been attached to. With a startled yelp, he twisted in midair so that he landed crouched and catlike on the forest floor in a shower of mud and soggy leaf litter. The rainstorm from the night before hadn't made for a very pleasant walk through the forest.

Kakashi stood, pushing his forehead protector up off his eyes, blinking in shock. He picked off a muddy leaf stuck to his elbow, taking a deep breath, then looked up at where he'd fallen from. He shook himself, much like a startled dog would.

"A-Are you alright, Kakashi-Sensei?" Sakura asked, wide eyed. Kakashi glanced down at himself, his legs muddy from the knees down, mud gushing between his exposed toes. He grimaced.

"I'm fine, Sakura-Chan." He turned to face Iruka who was standing with his arms crossed sternly and frowning. "You're right, Iruka-San. That's a lot harder than I thought it was." Kakashi admitted, causing Iruka's jaw to fall slack in surprise. Silvered eyes blinked reflexively. "I don't suggest climbing very high for a while until you get the hang of it for sure."

"Yeah! You could have broken your neck, damn it!" Sakura cried suddenly.

"He's fine, Sakura." Sasuke said in a low voice, nudging the girl. Naruto was quiet, watching Iruka's eyes, exposed before them for the first time. Iruka turned, facing the blond, suddenly aware of the blue eyes fixed on his face.

"Naruto…" Iruka began wearily. He didn't want the boy afraid of--

"You can beat 'em, Iruka-Sensei!" Naruto announced suddenly, making everyone blink in surprise. "Don't give up!" Iruka leaned back a little at Naruto's enthusiastic cheering. "You'll be back to speed in no time and then you can run all over Kakashi-Sensei if you want!" Kakashi's eyebrow twitched slightly at that, but he didn't argue with Naruto. Iruka was still stunned into silence. "Keep trying!"

Finally, Iruka smiled broadly.

"Thanks, Naruto." He held out a hand, hugging the boy briefly before turning back to face his tree, ready to give it another go. "I won't give up." Stepping back, Iruka paused, steeling himself and carefully focusing his energy, diverting most of his chakara to his feet, but holding some for his Second Sight. The other extremities about his body tingled coolly from the loss of energy circulation, but he ignored that. Taking a deep breath, and lowering his head, Iruka ran like mad towards the tree, leaping up when he was close enough, feet still moving. To his delight, his feet held to the bark like the ought to have, and he continued dashing up vertically for several meters. _Yes!_

His triumph was short lived. Not a step after his mental cheer, Iruka's footing slipped, and he was propelled away from the tree, falling through space. He twisted, flailing as he realized he had no idea which way was down, his world going black. A strangled, scared sound might have escaped from his lips, but that was the least of his concerns as he fell.

"Aaah! Iruka-Sensei!" Naruto's scream wasn't helpful, either. It echoed through the forest, causing birds to fly up in surprise, scattering sound and further disorienting Iruka. He flailed, hoping to right himself. He grimaced, knowing that ground couldn't be far off by now…

"Oof!" He collided with something far softer and more forgiving with the ground, which folded under his weight as they fell to the muddy forest floor together. The body pinned underneath him gave a soft wheeze, shifting slightly. Iruka sat up, head spinning. He fell foreword bracing himself on his hands, gasping. "Iruka-Sensei…" Kakashi groaned, hands posted on Iruka's shoulders from underneath him, helping hold him up. Kakashi's hands were hot and trembling violently. "Don't you ever scare the crap out of us like that again…" Kakashi's voice was almost as tremulous as his hands. Beyond Iruka's darkness, and the immediate presence of the Jounin holding him up from his position in the mud, Kakashi's three students were deathly silent. "…Iruka… are you hurt…?" Kakashi asked after a pause. His hands shifted on Iruka's shoulders, moving him back until Iruka was in a sitting position. Iruka realized belatedly he was sitting over Kakashi's knees, and had likely landed in a rather awkward position for the other man. He immediately tried to stand, jumping to his feet, but he swayed dangerously, staggering. "Whoa--" Kakashi was on his feet in an instant, hands out and holding Iruka steady again. "Easy. We don't have to go anywhere until you recover… You're shaking." One hand tightened around Iruka's arm.

"I…" Iruka's voice shook as well. "I couldn't tell which way was down. Everything went away…"

"I know…You're okay though, right? You're not hurt?" Kakashi asked worriedly. He moved so that one arm was around Iruka's shoulders, and Iruka let himself lean against Kakashi's support for a moment.

"I think I'm alright…"

"You're heavier than you look." Kakashi said, trying out the sound of a laugh.

"Sorry…And…thank you." Iruka said softly. He pitched foreword off of Kakashi's arm slightly, testing his own balance. "I think I'm okay now…" The warmth of Kakashi's arm vanished.

"No problem." Nearby, one of Kakashi's genin shifted anxiously, causing a twig to snap. In the surrounding silence, the sound seemed deafening by comparison. Iruka flinched. "Can you see?" Kakashi asked.

"No, I can't… I've completely lost everything…" Iruka said, frowning as he tried to pull his world back into focus even just a little. Each time he tried to reach out, even the short distance to Kakashi, his head swam and began to throb. "It hurts…" He added softly.

"Stop it." Kakashi said, suddenly firm. "Don't do anything that hurts, at least for now. I think you're probably just drained, but if this lasts for any length of time then I'll take you to Tsunade, alright?" Iruka nodded.

"Are you alright, Iruka-Sensei?" Sakura asked, her footfalls squishing in the mud as she approached the two men.

"I'm okay, Sakura-Chan. Just shook up, is all." Iruka said.

"Kakashi-Sensei nearly shit himself trying to catch you in time." Sasuke said, suddenly near where Sakura was. Iruka started. He hadn't heard the last Uchiha approach at all.

"Sasuke, don't use that kind of language, please." Kakashi said. Sasuke just snorted derisively. "Never stopped you." He pointed out. Kakashi frowned darkly as Sasuke went on. "But you're already a lost cause, right? A bad example. Kids don't be like Kakashi-Sensei, hm?"

"Be nice, Sasuke-kun." Iruka said sternly. Sasuke's eyebrow shot up as he looked form Kakashi to Iruka, then over at Sakura pointedly. Iruka was frowning into the silence that followed. Finally, Kakashi spoke up.

"_Thank you_, Iruka-Sensei." He said, fixing Sasuke a dark glare.

"Hn."

Iruka listened with interest, certain that this treatment Kakashi was receiving from Sasuke had to do with the events from the day before. He jumped, startled, as something soft touched his hand.

"Sorry." Sakura said, touching his arm. "Here, give me your hands. They're covered in mud." He held his hands out, felt Sakura wipe them off gently with what he could only guess was a handkerchief she had with her. He waited patiently, though he automatically tried to look down when she went to trying to wipe his soggy knees off slightly.

"Ek… is it bad?" He asked, helping her as best he could. He couldn't see a thing, but he could certainly feel the damp spots forming where he'd touched the ground at any point.

"Not too bad. It doesn't really even show up with the dark uniform… You should see Kakashi-Sensei, though. You laid him out right in a puddle." Sakura said with a giggle. "His whole backside head to toe is black now. Even his hair is muddy." Iruka grimaced.

"Thank you, sweet Sakura-Chan, for that little bit if information that Iruka-Sensei did _not_ need." Kakashi said dryly.

"I'm sorry," Iruka said. Kakashi waved it off, then realized Iruka couldn't see the gesture.

"Better than having your neck broke." He said instead. Iruka bit his lip anxiously.

"We should go back, at least so you can change."

"How do you feel?" Kakashi countered.

"Kind of sick, actually…" Iruka said honestly. His stomach was rolling uncomfortably after the upset and the long drop. "I get dizzy every time I try to use my Sight…and it hurts."

"I told you to stop trying that for a reason, Iruka-Sensei!" Kakashi whined. Iruka gasped as a pair of arms suddenly wrapped themselves around his waist. Naruto had him in a bone-crushing bear hug, face plastered against his chest.

"That was scary, Iruka-Sensei."

"I'm fine, Naruto." Iruka said, running a hopefully no longer muddy hand through the boy's hair. "Kakashi-Sensei saved me, right?"

"Yeah, but--"

"It's just training. I won't try anything crazy until I know I'm capable. Don't worry, son." He hugged Naruto then let the blond step away from him reluctantly.

Kakashi stood back, watching the pair in silent interest. He wished he'd been that comfortable with his Sensei, before he'd died. Kakashi wondered if things would be easier or harder for Naruto to let go when the day came that their sweet Iruka left them for good. He sent out a silent prayer that there would be someone there for Naruto, always. With any luck, he and Sasuke would be the last in a generation of orphans for a long time to come.

"Kakashi. Come back, you zoned out." Iruka's voice shook Kakashi back to reality, and his eyes snapped around to the man standing by his side. Tomodachi was standing at Iruka's side, Iruka's well-tanned fingers laced into the dog's collar lightly.

"Where did _you_ go!" Sakura demanded, poking him firmly. He blinked.

"I'm sorry. I was thinking of the future." Kakashi said plainly.

"We were talking to you, you know." Sasuke chided.

"What about the future?" Naruto asked. Kakashi smiled under his mask at the boy. He was always the dreamer, the first one to look to the horizon.

"Maa. It was morbid. You don't want, nor need to know." Iruka arched a dark eyebrow, hazy eyes turning towards the sound of Kakashi's voice.

"Morbid?"

"Just a little, yeah." Kakashi said, shrugging, though the gesture was entirely lost on Iruka. "Come on, let's all go to lunch." Iruka blinked his empty eyes at Kakashi in surprise.

"YEAAH!" Iruka didn't need sight of any form to know that Naruto had just thrown a fist into the air triumphantly, possibly even leaping into the air.

"Alright, but we're not paying." Sasuke said flatly. Kakashi laughed, scratching his head.

"Aa ha ha! Nope! My treat!"

"What for?" Sakura asked, surprised as well.

"You just want an excuse to take Iruka-Sensei on a date." Sasuke said flatly, crossing his arms. Iruka felt himself blushing slightly at the word 'date' and began to fidget.

"Wha--?" Kakashi's startled sound was entirely too comical. No one laughed. "Now, I'll have you know it's nothing like that." Kakashi said sternly. "And either way, it's none of your business." He added defensively. There was a cold threat in his eyes, both still visible.

"Whatever." With that, Sasuke turned and headed off towards the village, Sakura and Naruto trailing after him. Kakashi held back with Iruka and Tomodachi for a moment.

"I'm sorry about that, Iruka…" Kakashi murmured. He hoped Iruka wasn't mad. It had to be embarrassing, what the brat had said…

"It's alright. Don't worry about it. But don't think--"

"I know. I understood that long before I ever said anything…" Kakashi said. Iruka sighed heavily. The other man's voice was so hollow, so forlorn. Of course, to anyone who didn't know Kakashi well, it would have sounded much the same as it always did, except perhaps a shade bit lower in tone, but Iruka had become unconsciously sensitive to the other man's emotions, and could read him almost as well as his students could.

"Alright."

"Really-"

"I trust you, Kakashi." Iruka said, a hint of finality in his voice. He picked up his pace a little, giving Tomodachi a small nudge, and Kakashi's summon led Iruka away from his master.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: I absolutely loved writing the beginning of this chapter. Left me so incredibly warm and fuzzy. D

A couple of kinda weird moments between Kakashi and Iruka in this one. See? This is the best part. Now things get _weird_. hehe. Love having the kids, especially Sasuke, terrorize poor Kakashi. They're just egging him on, really. Iruka too. Their way of dropping a hint is by harassing their Sensei. Silly kids.

A few notes to the reviewers

1. I've now officially recieved several death threats 'if I don't finish this fanfic'... I assure you, it'll be finishe, don't worry. It's just slow moving. It's a slow moving story. (smiles) Oh yeah, and honestly, if you kill me, the fic won't be finished at all. Offering money or chocolate or fanart or something is a much better way of encouraging me to write. . lol. Really, I'm getting a good giggle out of it all, but some of you are really starting to scare the shit out of me. lol.

2. I've offically decided I'm not doing any other pairings in this fic. Several people have been pining for SasuNaru pairings, or something else, and frankly, I'm just not going to go there. I'm not sure I'm even into that pairing (though if anyone knows of a good, _convincing_ fic of ANY sort of pairing, go ahead and try me. Really, I'm very open minded and like to try anything, so it's not that I'm against the pairing.). But anyway. This story is about Kakashi and Iruka. Really. That's it. Though, if someone really REALLY wants to get a side pairing going, you're welcome to write your own fic that ties in with this one. Just credit it propperly, and LET ME KNOW! I love good fiction, especially yaoi so go ahead and give it a spin if you dare. :)

3. I had a hard time getting through this chapter. It wasn't hard to write, but it landed right in the middle of finals for me. And then, lo and behold on what WOULD have been my last day of school, I got landed with this REALLY NASTY flu that left me incapacitated for about...well...it hit me Tuesday and today I was finally mentally coherent enough to actually finish everything up... And I had to extend my school scheduel to make up a few tests I missed and stuff... Really bummed me out. . So sorry about the delay on this chapter but I had a pretty good reason this time. (at least I didn't just forget again, ne?)

4. I got a pretty fun review not too long ago. You can probably find it pretty easily in the reviews, of course. It was one of those really fun ones that not only had demands for more, my life if I stopped, and actually had a little bit of criticism for me. Cool. Apparently, this story is too long and drawn out, according to this one opinion. Well, yeah. I guess so, cuz I'm actually doing that on purpose. Hehe. :) Sorry if you don't like it that way, but thanks for tyring :) Besides, you can't hate it that much as you're also demanding more. :)

AND THANK YOU EVERYBODY for all the INCREDIBLE REVIEWS! Go read what other people have to say, too. It's really entertaining, some of the stuff you all have to say! I love it (Yeah, even the scary stuff. )

R&R!

MRE


	14. Chapter 14

_**Blind**_

14

Iruka lay on his back in bed, gazing into the void. He had no way of knowing that his bedroom was almost as dark as his own internal world. He had no need for lights, and it had been hours since he'd left Kakashi in the kitchen, stumbling his way back to his own room. He was dead tired, and his chakara had still not returned to him at all. Every time he tried to reach out, a sharp pain shot through his head, making him dizzy and his arms and legs feel watery. Still, he could stand and function without discomfort as long as he didn't try anything.

The trip to Ichiraku had been exciting, if nothing else. Team 7 Plus Iruka, as Kakashi's crew was now loosely dubbed throughout Konoha, had caused quite a stir with all of them bustling into the little shop soaked in mud, blood and hazy gazes. They had worn themselves out quite completely. Naruto and Sasuke had been sparring for hours were and still bleeding-Naruto more severely than the Uchiha- but smiling nonetheless. Sakura had been exhausted just from trying to keep up with the pair long enough to keep them from actually killing each other. Iruka himself had been threadbare from chakara exhaustion and the scare of nearly falling to his death-- only to be rescued by the ever vigilant Kakashi, he reminded himself grudgingly.

The owner had actually asked if they'd been attacked, and suggested a visit to the Hokage. Kakashi had laughed good naturedly and told him they had been so excited about the bad weather that they'd been compelled to go roll in the mud all afternoon.

Iruka snorted softly to himself in the darkness. _Our high crowned smart ass… _

Eating in his state of utter exhaustion had been exceptionally difficult, but no one had said a thing. In fact the whole shop had gone quiet as Kakashi silently offered help. Iruka hadn't put up a fight, too tired of that weird tension that had been constantly crackling between them. The Jounin's only comment to the situation in the ramen bar had been to lament that he hadn't thought of Iruka having difficulty eating without his Second Sight.

"We can go home, if you like…" Kakashi had offered. "The kids can take care of themselves." Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto had not argued.

"I'm fine. This is fine." Why Iruka hadn't taken the offer of privacy, he didn't know. He'd spent the next ten minutes burning with humility, but Kakashi had been, as always, incredibly careful.

Iruka sighed, rubbing his face. It had to be getting pretty late. Dinner had been late, and afterwards, Kakashi had spent a good hour carefully massaging several chakara meridians all over Iruka's body in an attempt to get the flow back up to normal, as it seemed everything was currently blocked. He had considered consulting a Hyuuga for help, but the two nin had decided that neither wanted to resort to _that_ yet.

Kakashi's ministrations had been stressful for Iruka. He couldn't help but think that this was just what the other man wanted-a chance to get his hands on him. The massage should have been relaxing, if not successful. Iruka shivered. His arms and shoulders still tingled in a weird way he wasn't sure he liked. Each touch had been so careful, so chaste but Iruka couldn't help but feel slightly molested, in a way. He bit his lip, feeling oddly guilty. He hadn't argued, hadn't let on to anything, but he knew that Kakashi had been aware of his discomfort. There was no hiding the tension that had built up in his back and shoulders, winding up like an iron spring every time pale fingers touched him. If Kakashi had, in fact, had ulterior motives, he had not let on at all. Iruka rubbed at his sightless eyes tiredly.

"God…I'm going paranoid…"

"They say that's normal among shinobi…" Tomodachi added helpfully from the corner in a gentle undertone. "What is bothering you, Iruka Sensei?" Iruka listened as the canine stood, animal paws padding almost soundlessly across Iruka's carpeted floor. Iruka's sharp ears tracked the nin dog with some effort. As it approached, he held his hand out to Tomodachi, smiling into the shadows as his palm was nuzzled gently.

"More of the same, that's all." Iruka said softly. "Just thinking."

"It is awful late at night for thought, Sensei." Tomodachi said.

"What time is it?" Iruka asked. Tomodachi snorted in a way that sounded suspiciously like a chuckle.

"I'm afraid I can't read your numbers…perhaps some day you may be able to teach me. Kakashi-san tried once, but he isn't good with such simple things. They baffle him to no end." Iruka laughed, throwing his head back against the pillow with a soft sound.

"Leave it to Kakashi. I know he could dissect a complex battle plan and redesign it six times over and not miss a beat, but he can't teach someone to read numbers, huh?"

"Precisely. It's the social aspect, I believe. He had a great deal of trouble with his genin, at first, you know."

"Oh, I know. I was part of the trouble, I think." Iruka said, the irony suddenly dawning on him.

"Perhaps…" Tomodachi said cryptically. "In any case, he's learned to manage them, at any rate."

"Yes…they're growing up so fast…" Iruka said, voice hazing over as he threw himself into nostalgia.

"But that is not what is bothering you, friend." Tomodachi said, pulling Iruka back. "You should be asleep by now."

"I wouldn't say 'bothering'…just thinking too hard to sleep."

"Anything that interrupts sleep is bothering, Sensei." Tomodachi said. Iruka smirked. There was nothing that Kakashi's nin dogs loved more than a good nap, he'd learned. Tomodachi especially.

"Just wishing things were simpler, then." Iruka admitted.

"Between yourself and my Master." Tomodachi said knowingly. Iruka bit his lip, holding his arms out to the dog. Tomodachi crept foreword obediently, curling up in the bed beside Iruka, letting the Chuunin hug him.

"I don't know what to do…" Iruka admitted.

"There isn't anything you can _do_." Tomodachi said. "This isn't the type of situation you _do something about_. What may happen will."

"When did you get so smart about human things?" Iruka asked in amusement. Somehow, the dog's words, however strange to his ears, were comforting.

"Listening to my master worry for two decades." Tomodachi said wryly.

"Not just about m-"

"About everything." Tomodachi said. "I remember a few years ago him fretting for four hours about what to wear to a birthday party. He was worried that it wouldn't be appropriate to go in his uniform, but he didn't really feel comfortable in anything else, apparently." Tomodachi said. He wanted for some time to talk about his Master to Iruka this way. There were many facets to Kakashi that took years to see. Very lovable facets, in fact. Unfortunately, neither man had years to spare for Iruka to sit and examine Kakashi, and determine if his love was worth accepting.

"What happened?" Iruka asked, baffled into amusement. Tomodachi snorted softly.

"He ended up going in his uniform. Nobody said anything about it at all. Of course, who would. The party was for him."

"You're kidding!"

"He was two hours late."

"Not surprising."

"Not because of the wardrobe 'disaster', either. It took that long just for him to get the nerve to show up."

"Why not!" Iruka demanded, voice rising slightly. Of all the idiotic…

Tomodachi nuzzled Iruka's face, calming the man.

"He was afraid he wouldn't have fun, therefore insulting the hosts." Iruka slapped his face in exasperation. "Then there was the time…not too long after I met him and Kakashi became my new master, he worried for four days about what to get one of his teammates when she was promoted to Chuunin." Iruka fell still, listening. "She was very special to him, a precious friend and he was incredibly proud of her…they were only about thirteen at the time, he already a Jounin… She was like a sister to him. Kakashi knew she fancied him, and worried about it all the time because as you now well know, he could never be interested that way….Nobody knew at that point. I remember he went about to several other sensei in the village asking if it would be taken romantic if he bought her flowers and a necklace as a congratulatory gift. It didn't help that he got mixed responses. Some people thought he was trying to be romantic, I think, and told him what a sweet boyfriend he was and the like… He nearly went crazy about it." Iruka grimaced, understanding the pain of confusion. "Eventually, he took her aside and presented his gifts in private, and explained the situation." Tomodachi said around a yawn. "They were such inseparable friends after that -she was such an understanding girl - that people actually thought they had gotten together as a couple." Tomodachi laughed. "It drove Kakashi mad with frustration, but she always kept him level and taught him a lot about dealing with people…and life, and death… She passed away about a year after her promotion." Iruka fell silent. "My point is, try to understand that Kakashi has no clue what he's doing. He's as blind as you are, if not more so."

"I….I think I understand that…" Iruka said. "It doesn't mean, though, that I--"

"No, I know that, I wouldn't dare pressure you in that way. It isn't right. I'm merely giving you a side of Kakashi you may not have known about, to help you make your decision."

"Well, thank you." Iruka said, yawning as well. He let out a sigh. "Okay…I think I'm going to go to sleep now…" He rolled over onto his side with another tired sigh. "Thanks, Tomodachi…"

"You're very welcome, Iruka-Sensei." Tomodachi leapt nimbly to his feet, trotting toward the slightly ajar door.

"Wher're you goin'?" Iruka mumbled sleepily.

"To check on my Master. Good night, Iruka-Sensei." Iruka mumbled a last few sleepy sounds and fell asleep soundly.

"Hm...You're still awake as well, are you?" Tomodachi asked as he went into the front room where Kakashi lay sprawled over Iruka's couch.

"Is he okay?" Kakashi asked by means of response.

"Tired, perhaps." Tomodachi said thoughtfully. "He has a lot on his mind." Kakashi gave a soft sigh.

"So, what do you think…?" Kakashi asked vaguely. He hadn't turned his eyes from the ceiling, lit a dull yellow by the single lamp he left on.

"Excuse me?"

"About…well…my chances…?" Kakashi asked softly. Tomodachi sighed heavily, flopping onto the couch at Kakashi's feet.

"I'm not one to judge human emotions." He said simply.

"That bad, huh?"

"I wouldn't say that."

"What would you say, 'Dachi?" Kakashi asked sadly.

"I told you already." A pause. "He's sleeping now. You should, too."

"…" Kakashi made a low, frustrated sound.

"Go to sleep, Kakashi." Tomodachi said firmly, stretching out between Kakashi's legs, his chin resting on one thigh. "It's late."

"I thought you didn't know about human things." Kakashi said.

"I'm tired, and you're keeping me awake." Tomodachi said sleepily.

"Go sleep with Iruka then."

"I wanted to stay with you. You are my Master, after all. And your unrest troubles me." In response, Kakashi shut off the lamp over his head, washing the room in a silver-blue darkness. He could see the high, slivered moon out Iruka's living room window. It was dim and the stars around it sparkled in brilliantly contrast.

"Okay…"

Kakashi's eyes snapped back open, fixed again on the moon outside. It had risen so that it was almost out of sight, out of the range of the window. Kakashi frowned, eyes darting in the darkness, ears straining.

Something had woken him up.

What was it?

The blood was singing in his veins. Something had startled him awake. He was alert, and his muscles were coiled, ready to leap into action.

"Tomodachi…" He whispered.

"It's Iruka-Sensei. He's having a nightmare." Tomodachi supplied just as Iruka's resounding scream echoed itself through the quiet house, startling Kakashi badly.

"KAKASHI!" Iruka's cry was shrill and panicked, and Kakashi leapt to his feet, skidding violently around a corner and striking the wall, running towards Iruka before he realized he'd even stood up.

To Kakashi's surprise, Iruka was still asleep, thrashing wildly in his sleep, clutching at a pillow like it was a life preserver, whimpering and crying. Kakashi had a brief moment to realize that he thought Iruka would be awake if he was screaming his name. _Like he needs me…_

"IRUKA!" Kakashi crashed to the floor beside Iruka's futon with a thud on his knees, hands on the crying mans' shoulders, shaking him as gently as he could. Iruka gasped, eyes staring into the darkness blindly, and again cried out Kakashi's name. "I'm here! I'm _here_ Iruka! Wake up…Stop it!" Iruka was clawing about desperately, trying to move and untangle himself from the mass of sheets. "You're safe! Wake up!" Kakashi lamented that he'd been doing this sort of thing a lot lately. Iruka finally gasped fully awake, sitting up straight.

"Ka…Kakashi…?" Iruka breathed.

"I'm here…what happened?"

"N…nightmare…" Iruka's hands were wrapped around both of Kakashi's wrists as he held Iruka's shoulders.

"Yeah…I could tell…. You were screaming for me…what happened?" Kakashi asked. Iruka hiccupped, and Kakashi could see, even in the extreme darkness of Iruka's bedroom, that he was crying. "Iruka…?"

"The other day…" Iruka said, turning his face downwards, hiding it in a veil of velvet hair. "When you took that kunai…"

"Yeah?" Kakashi prodded gently. Iruka shuddered under his palms, and Kakashi dared to pull him closer. Iruka did not fight him, leaning foreword with his forehead resting against one of Kakashi's shoulders.

"I dreamt…" he shuddered. "Gaah…it was horrible. The kunai didn't hit your back, it went straight through your neck like you said it would have with me….Tore straight through and hit me, though I didn't even feel it. You just stood there, blood every…you were very nearly decapitated, but not quite, and there were bits of blood and skin, even bits of the fabric of your mask…the kids were there and screaming bloody murder and you were still standing there, holding onto me and just staring…I guess you were already dead…there was blood dripping all off your arms and getting in my shoes and running down my arms and getting on my face and everywhere…." He let out a shuddering gasp, shaking. "And it was like I was never blind, I saw everything in brilliant full color…so much red….and black, I guess…but…oh god…" He trailed off, shuddering.

"Hey…" Kakashi was stunned. "Hey…it was just a dream…everybody's okay…really…" He tried to push Iruka away from him so he could see the other's face, but Iruka wouldn't budge.

"It was terrible…" Iruka whispered. One hand was bunching into the sleeve of Kakashi's shirt, and he could feel Iruka shaking badly.

"C'mere…" Kakashi whispered, pulling Iruka up against his chest carefully. Iruka didn't fight back. "Listen…hear that?" He asked, carefully pulling Iruka's hair out of his face, tucking a few strands behind the man's ear.

"Your heartbeat…."

"See? I'm alive. No blood. No danger. It's true at the time I was more concerned about your well being than mine, but I wouldn't let something happen to me. Don't worry…" Iruka nodded into his chest.

"It's just…I was really beginning to miss color… was….god…too much red…our lives are filled with too much red…"

"I know what you mean…But for now, we're safe. You're safe. And I'm safe as long as it's my mission to watch over you, and the kids are safe…they're all that really matter, right? There's no danger to us here within the village… I know your world must seem so bleak right now…I'm sorry, Iruka…"

"…" Iruka didn't move, just shifted slightly in Kakashi's arms, still shaking. Kakashi reached down and wiped a few tears off of Iruka's cheek.

"I guess I'm not the only one who cries in his sleep, hmm?" He teased gently. Iruka hiccupped softly. "Shh…" Kakashi sighed, rubbing Iruka's back gently with one hand, the other wrapped around his shoulders protectively. He realized that Iruka could, at any minute, decide he no longer needed the comfort and push him away, but Kakashi was grateful for small blessings, and soaked up the warmth of the toned but soft body against his. He closed his eyes, chest tight. He would stay only as long as Iruka needed him, he swore this to himself. _Don't you dare screw up…_ Iruka's breathing had evened out and he had stopped shaking. He wasn't asleep, Kakashi knew, but he was claming down. Kakashi rocked gently, breathing deep and evenly, hand working steady circles on Iruka's back. If he could give Iruka nothing else, it was tenderness and love. Leaning town to further encompass his companion, Kakashi closed his eyes again, kissing the top of Iruka's head gently.

Iruka went rigid, his breathing going silent. Kakashi's eyes snapped open as he realized a second too late what he had done. Iruka was shaking again.

"I'm sorry." Kakashi said, hearing how hollow his voice sounded even to himself. Iruka remained silent, and stiff, for a very long time.

"Why?" He finally croaked. He didn't move from Kakashi's embrace, but he wasn't returning it, either.

"I…" Kakashi began, trailing off weakly. "…It was impulse…I didn't mean to…I'm…I'm sorry. I know I promised I wouldn't do anything…" Iruka wiggled out of his grip, white eyes darting in the dark blindly. He reached out, wanting to see Kakashi's face.

"Gah…" Iruka cringed, hissing in pain and pressing a hand to his head.

"Oh don't…" Kakashi breathed, reaching out to touch Iruka but then pulling back. "Don't push it, you'll kill yourself…" He said sadly. He sighed heavily. "Damn it. I'm sorry, Iruka. Look. You're okay now, aren't you? I'll leave you alone…" He sat up reluctantly, feeling cold as death without Iruka's presence…

"Don't…" Iruka's voice was soft, barely audible. Kakashi froze, just preparing to stand. He stared back through the darkness at Iruka. "You're running…"

"I figured you'd want me to…after that stunt…" Kakashi admitted. "I know it's my own mistake…"

"It's so…_lonely_…nothing but black, you know…" Iruka whispered.

Kakashi fell silent, thinking.

Iruka's words…were an invitation.

But did he dare accept?

Kakashi knew how his mind worked, sometimes, and he feared he'd find some loophole in his own promise. He couldn't hurt Iruka.

He wouldn't.

But Iruka had just asked him to stay.

Kakashi couldn't deny his love's request.

"You sure…? I could get Tomo-"

"Goddamnit, Kakashi….You wouldn't leave me the hell alone three days ago." Iruka muttered, sitting foreword and reaching out into the darkness, hands searching. Eventually he found Kakashi's shirt and both fists quickly knotted into the soft fabric, seeking contact. "There's nothing here…_nothing_…it's blacker than anything you can imagine. Just covering or closing your eyes isn't half of it…It's not even black. I'm beginning to forget color, you know… I don't know what it is…because it _isn't_. Nothing. I try to pull up images in my head…like my parents…try to remember exactly what they looked like because I won't even ever see their picture… I imagine Naruto a lot…he's so full of color… but the images are fading. Like his eyes. I remember his eyes were the most brilliant blue I'd ever seen in anything, like the sky, but now…what does the sky look like? It's dead to me. The only color I know is the color of chakara…and I'm not even sure with that…I think it's blue…generally…but maybe it's not. Maybe it's yellow and I'm just confused…"

"Shh…" Kakashi gave up on his own internal battles, deciding that Iruka's needs were far more important. He crawled across Iruka's bed to sit upright beside his ward, carefully wrapping an arm around one slim shoulder. "Don't worry so much about it…go to sleep…I'll stay if you want me to, but go to sleep…" Kakashi whispered. He sank back, pulling Iruka down under the covers with him, rolling onto one side to encircle Iruka carefully with both arms, the brunette's back against his chest. Iruka shivered, cringing when Kakashi moved too close, and the Jounin scooted back some, though he did not remove his arms from around Iruka's waist and shoulder. Iruka was silent, not moving, barely breathing, and Kakashi bumped his shoulder with his forehead. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah…"

"I can go…"

"You're fine." Iruka said softly. Kakashi bit his lip.

_I'm fine…?_ _Is this…?_ Somewhere in the recesses of Kakashi's mind, the notion dawned on him that Iruka didn't really need his company at all. _Is this for me…_? A gift. "Iruka…?"

"Go to sleep."

Kakashi didn't go to sleep, but he let it go, lying quietly and listening as Iruka's breathing evened out, slowed down, and finally deepened into heavy sleep. Kakashi continued to lay with Iruka, awake, watching the other man sleep. Carefully, so as to not wake Iruka, he pulled the other up flush against his body, letting out a long sigh. Iruka shifted in his sleep, rolling from his side onto his back, pressing in further against Kakashi in the process. Kakashi sank back, feeling himself start to tremble slightly, and turned his head so he could watch Iruka's passive face in the darkness. He sighed in his sleep, face turning towards Kakashi, and the Jounin's breath caught.

_So beautiful…_ As he reached out, Kakashi realized his hand shook, but it didn't stop him as he lifted a hand to Iruka's face, touch feathering over warm skin. Kakashi's fingers were so light, brushing over shadowy skin, that even his own bated breath caused a greater disturbance, and Iruka went on sleeping peacefully, oblivious to the stolen touches. Gathering courage, Kakashi flattened his palm softly over Iruka's warm cheek, smiling in the dark to himself at the softness and warmth and life found even in the faintest touch. "You're beautiful." He whispered to the sleeping man beside him, rising up on his elbows and leaning down to carefully kiss Iruka's forehead. Iruka shifted in his sleep, but continued on dreaming--Kakashi could see his eyes shift under their lids, as if not a day had gone for Iruka without sight. He was overjoyed to notice that it didn't seem like Iruka was having any more nightmares.

This late at night, Kakashi easily deluded himself into thinking it was because of his own protective presence that Iruka slept soundly, though he knew there had been plenty of times Iruka had slept just fine without nightmares, totally on his own. Kakashi trailed soft kisses down Iruka's face, but paused before reaching the slightly parted, welcoming lips. Kakashi's breath was slightly ragged from the rush. He knew he was taking something that was not his to take, but he was desperate…so, unfathomably _desperate_… Taking a deep breath, and double checking that Iruka was indeed still sound asleep, Kakashi lowered his face to Iruka's, could feel his own lips tremble as they connected with Iruka's.

Iruka's lips were softer than his own, and searing hot from sleep. Iruka shifted slightly, sighing, and Kakashi felt himself flush as he imagined that Iruka was actually responding to him, wanting his touches and his kisses.

Kakashi pulled his body up further over Iruka's, pressing down every so slightly, still deathly careful, and kissed the sleeping man again, mind going numb at the mere thought of kissing Iruka, let alone the act itself. Kakashi's whole body shook, a taste of Iruka's skin coming up from parted lips and the blood was hammering so loudly in Kakashi's ears that he did not hear Iruka's breathing change. He pressed his lips to Iruka's yet again, more firmly, letting his weight settle more over the slightly smaller figure below, and his skin burned and his head swam and he did not notice as Iruka suddenly went rigid.

Iruka's sleep fog mind cleared terribly fast at the sensation of lips moving against his own, hot and possessive. He could feel the body pressing down on his, hear the ragged breathing just above him, and Iruka's mind spun in panic. _What the hell!_ Gears spun useless for a few split millionths of a second before everything clicked, and Iruka's smooth brow furrowed into deep lines. _Kakashi._

Gasping, he snapped his face away from the other man, hands coming up to grip Kakashi's shoulders. He noticed vaguely that the other man was shaking, and he wondered just how long the Jounin had been secretly stealing from his body while Iruka slept.

"Stop it!" Iruka hissed, trying to push Kakashi away. Kakashi gasped, murmuring his name in a low, lusty tone. Iruka twisted, shoving at Kakashi again as the Jounin settled his weight further over his body, pressing yet another kiss down over his lips. Iruka gasped, feeling panic setting in as Kakashi's kisses trailed away from his lips down the side of his throat, making Iruka's skin burn and tingle. He thrashed weakly, terrified. He had no idea what Kakashi was plotting, where he would strike next, or to what end this moment would come to.

He didn't care, either.

"Stop!"

"Iruka…Please…" Kakashi's breathy voice was hazy, dream like.

"No. Knock it off, Kakashi!" Iruka pushed at Kakashi again, but drugged on desire, Kakashi was slow to catch the tone of Iruka's voice.

"_Please…_" The desperation in Kakashi's voice caused a small tremor in Iruka's heart, but anger and mortification overruled Iruka's emotions.

"NO!" Iruka twisted, freeing an arm from under Kakashi's body, and struck out of his own tar-like world into Kakashi's. On a lucky strike, Iruka's open-palmed blow landed cleanly across Kakashi's cheek, connecting with a resounding crack. Kakashi froze, gasping raggedly, and Iruka's hand was throbbing so hard his fingers tingled numbly. There was a moment of total silence, there in Iruka's bedroom, then suddenly, Kakashi lunged back with a strained noise.

"Oh god…"

"What the flying _fuck _did you _think _you were _doing_!" Iruka demanded loudly, shock abating only to give way to utter fury.

"Iruka…God…I'm so sor--" Kakashi's voice was wet with raw panic, but this only irritated Iruka more.

"Get out."

"I'm sorry, Iruka I didn't-" Kakashi tried again. Iruka hissed, drawing a deep breath.

"DON'T YOU DARE APOLOGIZE NOW! GET OUT!" Iruka screamed it this time, right in Kakashi's face.

Kakashi didn't move. He couldn't. Heaven only knew he wanted to. He was terrified, aghast at himself, but he was utterly petrified. When he didn't move, Iruka let out a frustrated growl. Shoving him aside, Iruka stood staggering awkwardly as his feet tangled first in the sheets, then with Kakashi's. He stumbled across the room, crashing roughly against the wall and scrambling until he found the door. He fumbled with the latch for a moment before throwing the bedroom door open and hurrying out, slamming the door shut behind him hard enough to shake the whole apartment. Over the bed, a cabinet shook hard enough that something toppled off of it, crashing over Kakashi's head. Nerves hardened after years of brutal combat allowed Kakashi the reflexes to catch the item before it hit him and broke. Soft golden pink light filtered in through Iruka's bedroom window as the sun began to rise and Kakashi stared down at a framed picture of an extremely young Iruka and his parents, and swore.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Sorry. I wasn't done with the drama yet. And really, I know you all had your hopes up there right in the middle, but did you all honestly think I was going to make things that EASY for poor, dear Kakashi? (smirks) But seriously, this was an important event.

Yes, Kakashi just seriously fucked up.

But on the bright side, he's now given something for dear Ruka-kun to think about.

Believe it or not, there IS a method to my madness. Good things come to those who wait.

Meanwhile, super sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I seriously meant to post it like three or four days ago, but in preparing for the holidays, I partied too much and have spent the last three days utterly BRAINDEAD. hehe. Almost pulled an all-nighter chatting with a friend friday night...hehe. So I don't really have a good excuse, but here it all is anyway. )

Oh, and back to the topic of Kakashi fucking up, as it were. I'm sure that all seemed more than a little bit weird. Yes, he completely shorted out on us. I blame three things here: 1. He's probably dead exhausted from the day to begin with, 2. not only is he sleep deprived and tired to begin with but he just pulled an all nighter without realizing it, and that does some really terrible thing to a person's brain. Let it also be known that the brain and it's reasoning ablities are at it's lowest between about 2 and 4 AM-Kaka-kun's golden hour. 3. Desperation. At this point Kakashi figures he's screwed anyway, though he didn't exactly think at all on any of this, it was sort of his subconscious last hurrah as it were.

But don't worry.

Really.

R&R and don't kill me.

MRE


	15. Chapter 15

_**Blind**_

15

Tomodachi lifted his head, startled by the sound of the bedroom door opening. It had been several hours since Kakashi had gone in to check on Iruka after his nightmare, and neither had emerged. He could only assume that things had been going well, if Iruka felt secure enough with Kakashi's presence for that long in his room.

He was alarmed to spot Iruka lurch down the hallway, looking frantic and obviously still quite blind. The nin dog winced in sympathy as Iruka crashed against the doorframe leading from the kitchen into the living room, gasping in pain but not slowing down.

"Iruka-Sensei?" Tomodachi asked, jumping up and hurrying over to the former Academy Sensei. Something was terribly wrong. Outside, dawn was just breaking, the sky a deep violet, casting strange shadows into the living room where Tomodachi had been resting.

"My shoes… I need them…"

"You can't see, can you? You shouldn't be moving so hastily, Iruka-Sensei." Tomodachi said, even as he hurried to the front door, gathering Iruka's sandals in his mouth.

"Doesn't matter." Iruka said distractedly, fumbling with one sandal then the next. He got up and staggered towards the front of the apartment.

"Wait!" Tomodachi grabbed a blanket from the couch- Kakashi had been sleeping under it since he'd 'moved in' to Iruka's living room. "It's cold out." He pushed the corner of the blanket, which he'd dragged across the room, into Iruka's hand. Iruka pulled up the blanket, wrapping it around his shoulders. He almost gagged. It smelt so strongly of Kakashi he wanted to scream. Shuddering, he stepped out, Tomodachi following nervously. "Iruka-Sensei…!"

"Help me find the Hokage's Tower." Iruka said briskly, already reaching out for Tomodachi. Tomodachi reluctantly went to his friend's hand, glancing up and down the street before heading north.

"Iruka-Sensei, what's wrong?" Tomodachi asked. His hackles were raised in anxiety and he tried to slow Iruka's pace as the Chuunin kept stumbling. "What happened?" He pressed. Iruka stiffened, then shook his head. Tomodachi watched him keenly, judging every movement.

"I don't want to talk about it. Come on. I need to speak with the Hokage. Now."

"Where's Kakashi?"  
"I don't know. Come on."

"Is he in danger? What happened?"

"No. He's not in danger." Iruka snapped. "Come on." Iruka shivered in the cool morning, damp and foggy, but didn't pull the blanket any closer than where it hung loosely from his shoulders. Tomodachi's brow furrowed in the imitation of a human frown.

Iruka marched resolutely, almost dragging the nin dog along. Around them, the misty village was silent except for the sounds of frogs, echoing out from the surrounding forest. The frog calls grew louder as they crossed a small wooden bridge, Iruka's clomping footfalls silencing them in a wave as they passed. As they reached solid ground again, and the frogs on the farthest side of the river they'd crossed went on with their last calls until dusk came again. Tomodachi continued to glance up nervously at Iruka's face, worrying, but not daring to ask again.

Kakashi sat in total silence, eyes fixed on the photograph in his shaking hands. His vision blurred, and suddenly Kakashi cast aside the picture, turned over and gave a strangled scream into one of Iruka's pillows. He lay there for a long time, holding his breath so he wouldn't scream again, listening to the silence in Iruka's apartment. He'd listened to Iruka leave, and it wasn't until long after when he had finally unfroze. His eyes clamped shut as he waited for his head to stop spinning. It didn't stop, though, and after a few minutes, he leapt up and dashed into the bathroom, emptying his stomach into the toilet.

Kakashi let out a low groan, sinking to the floor in despair.

_So that's it then._ Kakashi wasn't even sure what exactly he meant by that. It could mean his chances with Iruka or it could have meant the end of himself. Or both. He definitely knew, however, that it meant the end of his mission. He knew Iruka would not come back to him in any manner, now. He'd failed his mission. He wanted nothing more than to protect Iruka forever, but he couldn't protect the man from himself, and so he could save him from nothing. Kakashi twisted, throwing up again. _Should have gone to sleep like he told you to, stupid…_

Kakashi had the notion to go after Iruka and confront him, but he knew it wouldn't end well. He could feel the thin bruise along the side of his face where Iruka had hit him. Not even a punch, just a good, firm slap. Just what he needed, Kakashi mused. A good slap upside the head and probably a swift kick to the ass as well. Maybe he _should _go and follow Iruka, just for the much needed beating. Maybe Iruka would kill him and then Kakashi wouldn't have to worry…

"_Running away again?" _ Iruka's voice rang sharply in his head yet again and Kakashi whimpered softly. He couldn't run away again. Not anymore. Gasping slightly, he lurched to his feet, swaying as he battled himself.

_Better hurry up._

_I don't want to_…

_You have to._ Kakashi lunged for the toilet once more as another wave of nausea hit him, but this time it was mostly dry heaves, and Kakashi sat up, chest aching. He made quick work of cleaning up after himself, then ran out into the chilly morning, pausing only once to wretch unsuccessfully into a flower bed once more partway down the street before hurrying on.

--------

"No." Tsunade stared across her desk at Iruka, looking the man over again. He was shivering under a loosely wrapped blanket, his unseeing eyes wide and darting. His hair was badly tussled, his shirt and sweats wrinkled. She'd known immediately upon his arrival that he was fresh out of bed.

"What! With all due respect, Hokage-Sama, he--!"

"Yes, you told me." Tsunade drawled, not really wanting to hear all the sordid details again. The way Iruka had related the story of Kakashi's 'assault' on him, it sounded as if he was almost excited about it. It made her think. _Though maybe he was just happy for the chance to get rid of the brat…_Tsunade didn't think _too _hard on it though, as her mind was already made up anyway. "There's no one else, and besides, I'm sure he's learned his lesson…" She was one of very, extremely few who knew just how sensitive Kakashi could be. "I suggest you get that noble nin dog of yours-"  
"It's Kakashi's." Iruka cut her off, voice cold. Tsunade arched an eyebrow at the dog in question, practically hiding in Iruka's shadow, but went on speaking as if Iruka had not breathed a word.

"-and go home. Work it out yourself. I'm not some principal you can go whining to every time you're stricken with some social injustice." Tsunade held back a sigh as she watched Iruka cringe and her cold words. "I'm glad to see you out and about, but go home, Iruka-kun." Iruka scowled angrily, bowed curtly, turned on his heel and hurried out.

Tsunade sat back, glancing over at her assistant, who was staring wide-eyed after Iruka. Shizune had become terrifically aghast upon hearing Iruka's story, and had then fallen quiet silent. Now Tsunade threw the young woman a smirk. "Check the clock, I want to see how long it takes Hatake to come blubbering in here himself." Shizune blinked in shock, glancing up at the large ornate clock hanging over her own desk. She grimaced, the incongruities of the words "Hatake" and "blubbering" making her head spin just slightly. She blinked wearily as the oversized, stately clock stared back.

Exactly five thirty AM and already trouble was starting. Shizune chewed her lip thoughtfully. It was lucky for Iruka , she supposed, that she'd gotten the Hokage up when she had. Shizune hid a smile. Little did the village of Konoha know that their Hokage would happily sleep in until well past noon like a bum if she were allowed. The Hokage didn't need Shizune's secretarial or medical help, but the young woman kept Tsunade out of trouble. Glancing at the clock again and double checking the time, she went back to sorting paperwork for the Godaime to fill out.

Five thirty nine and a half AM welcomed Hatake Kakashi into the sleepy Hokage's office. He was pale as ice and looked just as cold, clad only in light pajama pants and a well-worn cotton shirt. His face, strangely enough, was as bare as now bluing feet. Tsunade raised an eyebrow in interest as he came staggering into the room.

"Hmm… You're early." She said, glancing up again at the clock. Across the room, in the corner, Shizune was silent, though watching intently. Kakashi gave Tsunade an ill look, his body heaving oddly. He swallowed, grimacing, and looked up pitifully at Tsunade again. She realized that he wasn't only looking pale, but was actually turning an interesting shade of gray-green. Sympathetic concern ebbed it's way into her heart, and Tsunade forced herself to squish it back down into submission, at least for now. "I heard you had a busy morning." She said, lowering her head and fixing him with a stern gaze.

Against all odds, Kakashi turned paler. Tsunade could _see_ his palms go clammy.

"Where-" Kakashi began, but was cut off.

"Umino was, to say the least, irate. I don't suppose you have a good excuse for your actions?" Tsunade said. Kakashi swallowed again, and ran a shaking hand through his hair. His naked face was contorted into a thin grimace, and he gasped whenever he opened his mouth.

"…No…" He lowered his mismatched eyes, blinking in mild surprise as he apparently only just realized he was bare footed. "None at all…" Tsunade sat back.

"Then what _were_ you thinking?" She asked, trying not to raise her voice.

"I…wasn't…." Kakashi ran both palms over his face, face crumbling briefly as he did so. When he pulled his hands away, Tsunade saw that he hadn't fully recovered the brief slip. His lips trembled and his eyes were watering. She wondered if he'd actually break down far enough to cry. Her inner sadist suggested that would be immensely entertaining, and Tsunade bit her own lip firmly, fiercely chasing that notion out of her mind.

"Uh _huh…_"

"Hokage Sama…" Kakashi said, head lowered. "Where is he…?"

"Lost track of him, did you?" Tsunade said, leaning back and crossing her arms over her voluptuous chest.

"I…have to try and fix…" Kakashi paused, shaking his head. "No… there's no fixing this one…but I have to make sure he's ok." He looked back up at Tsunade imploringly.

"Well, you probably ran right by him." Tsunade said. "I sent him home."

"He made it all this way…!" Kakashi yelped, glancing about as if Iruka might be hiding somewhere in the shadows. "Tsunade-Sama…he's… he overdid it yesterday and hasn't been able to use his sight jitsu…he's completely blinded now…" Kakashi's voice grew panicked, his chest repeatedly rising high then falling heavily as he began to hyperventilate just slightly.

"He had your dog with him." Tsunade said. "It seemed to be working as a guide…"

"Tomodachi…" Kakashi breathed, relaxing just slightly, though it said nothing for his overall appearance.

"Excuse me?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow.

"I've had one of my summons staying with him…his name is Tomodachi…" Kakashi breathed a heavy sigh. "At least he's not totally alone…" Kakashi rubbed the palms of his hands over his face again.

"Hatake." Kakashi looked up at the sound of Tsunade's somber but commanding voice. "Go home. Get dressed-" Kakashi blinked, looked himself over and grimaced in embarrassment- "And go find Iruka and work this out." Kakashi shook his head in negation.

"No… this can't be worked out…I…" Kakashi lowered his face, swallowing as his throat closed off causing his voice to crack harshly. "I'll make sure he gets home, but you'd better find someone to replace me. I've failed…"

Both Kakashi and Shizune jumped at the loud cracking sound that echoed through the large room as Tsunade simultaneously stood, and slammed her hands down upon her desk. The force of her palms colliding with the ancient hardwood caused the whole desk to buckle and snap in two. Papers, pens, scrolls and seals went flying everywhere along with the odd spray of splinters as well as a formidable plume of dust that rose as the desk came crashing to the floor. Tsunade stood unflinching over the mess, golden brown eyes flashing.

"GODDAMN IT HATAKE!" Tsunade bellowed. "Just what the HELL is WRONG with you!" Kakashi cringed. "You used to be all piss and vinegar, you know that! You're Konoha's FINEST- a top ranking Jounin with DECADES of experience and successful missions under your belt, trained by the FINEST SHINOBI our village has seen in over _One Hundred_ years and HERE YOU ARE standing in front of me and giving me this bull-crap kiddy snivel about failing your assignment, when all you had to do was _care for a fucking blind man!_" Kakashi said nothing. "I'VE MET FUCKING CATEPILLARS WITH MORE BALLS THAN YOU'VE GOT RIGHT NOW, HATAKE!" Tsunade paused for a breath but then went on, seeming to gain a second wind. "Shape up and be a goddamned _shinobi_ for fucks sake!" Tsunade took a deep breath, calming herself, letting her anger drain away. "Now," She said calmly, walking around the crumpled mess of her desk to approach the immobile man in front of her. "I know your heart rules you right now, Kakashi." Kakashi finally averted his eyes, pressing them firmly shut.

As Tsunade drew to within arms' reach of the man, she could see he was shaking badly. She put a hand on either of his shoulders, looking him firmly in the eyes. His Sharingan whirled uncertainly and Kakashi clamped his left eye shut.

"Pull yourself together…" She said, giving his left shoulder a gentle , reassuring squeeze. "I only wish the best for you, but you can't let yourself fall apart like this. Do you understand?" Kakashi nodded mutely. "Pull your old courage and strength back to you, Kakashi. As long as he is inside Konoha, Iruka-kun is safe. Go clean yourself up and then go and find him." Kakashi nodded again. "Oh, and concerning your mission status, seems how this is a long term assignment, I don't think I have to file it as 'failed' just yet." Kakashi's eyes softened just a little, but he couldn't quite bear to smile. Tsunade ruffled his hair with one hand, and turned him gently by the shoulders, pointing him towards the door. "Good luck, Kakashi-kun."

Iruka did not go home. Instead, he turned in the opposite direction after leaving the Hokage's tower, and had Tomodachi guide him out towards the woods. He couldn't face the idea of dealing with anyone yet, and the nin dog, too stunned to argue, led the way in silence.

Now perched on an old, crumbling stone wall near the river, Iruka sat slouched and shivering. Tomodachi remained on the ground, head near Iruka's sandal-clad feet.

"Iruka-Sensei at least wrap up in the blanket, you're starting to turn color."

"No."

"Why not?" Tomodachi asked, and would have frowned if his facial muscles were capable of such a gesture.

"This blanket stinks."

"It only smells of Kakashi--"

"Precisely." Iruka grumbled, buffing his arms with his hands, trying to thaw his cooling skin. The blanket, bunched loosely around his hips and over his knees -away from his face- smelt strongly of Kakashi's sweet and spicy aftershave, the scent still coming up in soft waves to Iruka, making his breath hitch. It hadn't been two hours earlier that he'd woken to that sweet smell, oppressively close, mingling with a warm body pressed against his, sultry breath tickling his face and bare throat. Iruka shivered, pulling in on himself. Around him, the fog swirled faintly, dissipating as the sun rose higher into the morning. The moss-covered rocks upon which Iruka sat was damp with dew, and Iruka found his idle fingers tracing over one wet, fuzzy clumps, exploring the differences between the textures of stone, and living substance.

"Am I wrong to be angry, Tomodachi?" Iruka asked suddenly, trusting that the dog had not left his side.

"I cannot answer that, Iruka-san." Tomodachi answered elusively. He knew better than to take sides.

"…" Iruka sighed. "I guess I should at least take it as a compliment that…he…" Iruka felt himself blushing slightly, and was glad that dogs were colorblind. "_Wants_ me that badly…" Iruka slipped off of the low wall to the ground to sit with his back against the cold stone, reaching out and brushing a hand over Tomodachi's back, relishing in the canine's warmth. Tomodachi didn't answer Iruka immediately. He was sitting very still, ears perked, head tilted slightly to one side.

"He's looking for you." He said at last.

"Don't you dare give me away!" Iruka hissed.

"He's worried." Tomodachi went on.

"I need time to think." Iruka said, sagging, lowering his torso so that he could wrap his arms around his knees, resting his chin on his forearms. He drew in a deep breath, felt his stomach flutter with butterflies at the deep presence of Kakashi in the blanket still draped over his legs. Iruka opened his sightless eyes, blinked, then frowned, clamping them shut again. "Damn it…"

"Iruka?" Tomodachi lifted his head worriedly. The leafy bed upon which he rested rustled wetly.

"It's nothing…I just…My eyes…I always forget…" Iruka said quietly. Tomodachi grunted, and Iruka listened to the soft scrunch of leaves as the dog relaxed, lowering his head again. Iruka pulled his knees up further against his chest, taking another deep breath. Kakashi's scent invaded his senses, but he did his best to not think about it, or the feelings it provoked, sinking into himself and reaching out, starting slow… A wave of relief went through Iruka as no pain came to him…still, Iruka was too weak still to actually produce an image of the world around him. _Well, that's some improvement, anyway… if it doesn't hurt, there's nothing wrong, right..?_ Beside him, Tomodachi had started to snore softly, and Iruka could hear the scritch scratch as one of his hind legs kicked through the leaves as he dreamed. Iruka smiled wryly. _Wish I was that good at relaxing…_ Heaving a sigh, Iruka settled down into silence thinking.

The sun rose higher, casting the trees of the forest in silhouette and casting away the damp, cold fog. The morning was still cold, and wet, but the worst of the coldness was melting away. Iruka could feel the dull warmth of the low sunlight pressing in against his face and bare arms, and he focused on absorbing the energy while he sorted out his unpleasant morning, the same notions, fears and feelings chasing themselves in endless circles in his mind.

Long ago, Iruka had decided that perhaps if he hadn't been _completely_ blind, he would have maybe reacted better. He was just about to the point of pegging the fact that it hadn't been so much Kakashi's advances that had upset him, as the feeling of total vulnerability the moment bestowed upon him. He hadn't been able to see Kakashi at all, of course, and his mind had been fogged terribly by sleep. Searing touches had struck at random, never giving Iruka any warning of what part of his body his desperate housemate would assault next. That mingled with the betrayal of the trust Iruka had risked in inviting Kakashi to his side in the first place. Iruka grimaced as phantasmal sensations crawled across his body, echoes of what he'd experienced that morning. He shivered as his skin tingled and crawled in memory of Kakashi's hot kisses, and Iruka found his breath growing just slightly ragged.

_"Iruka…please…_" Iruka shivered, the memory of Kakashi's breathy voice right in his ear surfacing as he went through the event in his mind yet again, trying to find a place for it. Iruka rubbed his face, letting out a shaky breath. Kakashi had sounded _so_ desperate, even heartbroken. Those tones in Kakashi's low, usually steady voice made Iruka begin to tremble again. Kakashi made Iruka's own name sound like a prayer, Iruka realized. Like he was something to be worshiped, unreachable, but ever so desperately needed. Iruka wondered what he would do if he heard Kakashi speak his name that way again…

Iruka lifted his head. _What am I thinking about that for?_ He suddenly felt very uncomfortable. Beside him, Tomodachi snored on, oblivious. Iruka frowned. _As much as I'd hate to admit it, we need to talk…for real._ Iruka stretched out with his mind, willing his jitsu to work this time, even if only for a few minutes. To his relief, the world materialized into shades of blue, white and gray in the back of his mind. He gave his surroundings a glance, making sure he was where he thought he was. "Come on, let's go home, 'Dachi." Iruka said, sliding a hand into the dog's collar.

"Thank goodness…" Tomodachi muttered, trotting off and pulling Iruka along.

"Hn." The low, thoughtful sound died mere millimeters from the lips of the speaker as a figure perched in the trees above where Iruka and Tomodachi had rested watched the pair go, then shot off through the canopy, headed into the village of Konoha as well. _This doesn't bode well…_ He thought, hurrying off, first to trail the ninja and his dog for a ways, double checking their direction, before veering off to a new heading.

Iruka walked, oblivious, with Tomodachi, hurrying back to his apartment. Thoughts of Kakashi's advances refused to relent in their manic circulation through his mind, and more than once, Iruka found himself coming to half-made conclusions that left him feeling decidedly uncomfortable. Grimacing softly to himself, he shut himself away inside his bedroom, already bracing against the inevitable arrival of his caretaker and not so secret admirer, Hatake Kakashi.

Sasuke leapt off a rooftop, landing in front of his Sensei with a soft grunt. Kakashi, dull-eyed and looking paler than ever, barely reacted, simply gasping and pulling back a half a step. Kakashi was dressed now, but sloppily. By Sasuke's appraisal, the man was obviously exhausted, and deeply worried. His pale eye was grayer than normal, and had a distant, lost look to it. Below it, dark circles marred pale skin, giving him a sunken look. The dark fabric of his mask stood out as starkly as blood on snow, and the feint outline of a bruise crept up above the hem of it, arcing over his cheek. He was shivering even though the morning's chill had faded away, and was no longer slouched carelessly, but drawn up and hunched as if afraid of being slapped. When his gaze finally focused on Sasuke's dark form, Kakashi relaxed some.

"Aa! Sasuke-Kun! Have you seen--"

"Iruka-Sensei?" Sasuke cut him off. Kakashi nodded, startled. "Yeah, he was heading home with Tomodachi, I think…" Sasuke said casually, pretending not to notice the deep worry emanating like waves of cold air from his Sensei. He didn't mention that he'd found the pair hiding out in the woods, invading in on his favorite, crack-of-dawn training grounds, successfully disrupting his morning routine as he hid out and spied on them for nearly an hour before they left. His Sensei looked ill enough as it was without that little tidbit, and while Sasuke wasn't a caring person by nature, the state of his Sensei worried him deeply. He'd been unnaturally compelled to help tilt the scales of fate in Kakashi's favor. Kakashi's face lit up immediately, and he grabbed Sasuke into a sudden bear hug.

"Thank you!"

"Aak! Kakashi-Sensei what the hell is wrong with you!" Sasuke cried, squirming. He hadn't anticipated _that_. "Stop it and get your gay arms off of me I'm not into that!" He teased, hoping to get Kakashi at least to relax a little. To his relief, Kakashi both released him, and let out a small laugh.

"Aahaha. Sorry Sasuke-kun. My mistake!" He teased in return, eye arching cheerfully, though the grin was much too brief. "I guess the rumors were wrong then!" Sasuke blanched, as it dawned on him what Kakashi was suggesting, though he realized he'd walked right into _that_ one.

"Whaat!" He demanded, but Kakashi was gone, only a plume of smoke marking his departure. Sasuke glared at the smoke, ruffled, but then sighed and walked off. _Better go find Sakura and Naruto and report in to them…they'll want to know about this…_

When Kakashi stepped back into Iruka's apartment, he did so with extreme trepidation. As eager as he'd been to find Iruka, he didn't feel at all prepared to actually face him. He wrung his hands anxiously, then glanced down at them and frowned. He separated his hands, and stuffed them in his pockets, taking a deep, calming breath.

He found Iruka in his room, sitting with his eyes turned to the door, as if awaiting his arrival. Kakashi felt his stomach roll, but he forced back the queasy feeling, walked into the room and kneeled at the edge of Iruka's futon, head down.

"Look…" He began, staring down at his knees. "I…there aren't words for how sorry I am, Iruka-San…" Kakashi said. Iruka remained silent, cloudy eyes turned his way, face expressionless. Iruka silently analyzed everything about the other man. He watched, though the strain on his chakara supply was enormous, every little facial expression.

_He's a total mess…_ A pang of guilt went through Iruka as he watched the Jounin's face, well beyond any form of composure, crumple a little more with each passing second. _Was I really that cruel to him this morning…?_ Iruka held his silence, waiting.

Kakashi chewed on the inside of his cheek a moment before going on into the stretching silence. "I…I guess I was desperate… I know you'll never want me, especially now, and for some reason, I just couldn't settle with that… I'm a selfish bastard and even though I swore I wouldn't do a thing to hurt you, I know I very thoroughly broke that oath…" He swallowed harshly against the parched rock lodged just behind his Adams' apple. "And I'm sorry, but Tsunade-Sama refuses to find you someone…" His voice cracked a little, "…_better_ to help you recover…So I guess you're stuck with me… I swear, though… I _swear_ this won't happen again… I promise… I know you're mad as hell and I really don't blame you… I don't know what I was thinking... I have no excuse." Kakashi finished. His chest felt so cold and hollow on the inside. He wondered if his heart had actually ruptured. _Oh quit being so fucking melodramatic and get over it. Heartbreak will **not** kill you…you're not going to bleed to death so get over it._ He told himself.

Still, the silence stretched on. Iruka thought on Kakashi's words quite thoroughly. _Damn straight I'm mad…_Iruka thought. _I don't think I was wrong, this morning… or even now…I'm livid…betrayed, hurt…_Iruka held back a frown. Yes, he felt all these things, but not nearly as strongly as he thought he should…

Feeling panic start to rise within him again, Kakashi ventured one last attempt at communication. "…Iruka…?" After a pause, Iruka finally answered him.

"…You could have at least woken me up first." Iruka said, his voice low and bitter, but sounding far less angry that Kakashi had expected. Granted, Kakashi hadn't expected a response at all, except for maybe a swift kunai to the throat, heart or lungs…

_What!_ Kakashi's head snapped up and he stared at Iruka, slack jawed. …Just what did Iruka mean by that, anyway?

"Wha…what do you mean?" Kakashi breathed, heart thundering. It sounded so terribly much like forgiveness to Kakashi's ears. He couldn't live without answers, swore it was his own delusions, but his desperate heart had to be absolutely sure. Iruka gave a soft groan in response, flopping back onto his bed to sprawl out on his back. He worked his tongue around in his mouth a little, thinking over his words carefully before speaking.

"…You know, you scared the living crap out of me this morning…" Iruka said, voice low. "I was terrified. When I woke up and I had no clue what was going on…I didn't even know who was on me at first…No warning, nothing…" He trailed off, letting that bit of information sink in. Talking about it was making his anger drain away at an alarming rate, but that hardly said he was happy about what had happened between them only hours earlier.

"I'm sorry…" Kakashi breathed uselessly. Iruka sighed. He knew that Kakashi meant it with every bottom inch of his soul. It was irritating. Maybe if Kakashi wasn't so damn _sorry_ it would be easier for Iruka to stay properly mad at him.

"But…" Iruka shook his head as he went on, awed even with himself. "Well…seems how I'm stuck with you anyway…and don't get me wrong, I'm mad as hell, all right!" He added quickly. Kakashi flinched. "But…well…" He sighed heavily, sounding frustrated. "No point in not accepting your apology…Just…don't pull that kind of crap again, alright? Next time I don't care what kind of mess I'm in, or how--" He cut off, shaking his head. He didn't want to go into how much of _anything_ that event was, good or bad… "Just…apology accepted."

Kakashi swallowed dryly again, even though his face was rapidly becoming soaked with tears.

"Iruka…"

"Don't cry about it." Iruka said softly. He'd been watching Kakashi's face very carefully through the whole conversation, watched it crumple even further at his words. It was heartbreaking, and Iruka didn't want to face it.

"I'm sorry…I was so stupid… I know your trust in me was a gift…"

"Yeah…well, just leave me alone. I need to think." Iruka said, trying not to let himself soften too much. Not yet. Kakashi nodded.

"Yeah…okay….what do you want for lunch?" Kakashi asked, trying to rebalance himself with normalcy. Iruka sat up again, thinking for a moment. It was lunch time, wasn't it? And he'd missed breakfast…His stomach rumbled indignantly.

"…It doesn't matter…really, everything you do is great so it doesn't matter…" Iruka said, poorly veiling the compliment. Kakashi smiled thinly and staggered to his feet.

"…Thanks."

-----------------------------------------------------------

AN: (sniggers evilly) Does anyone, perhaps, see where I'm headed now?

Iruka, poor, cranky, happily molested Iruka, doesn't know WHAT THE HELL to think. . Which, of course, was entirely intentional :)

Now it's just a matter of everyone (yes, not just Kakashi) softening him up until he gets over his anger and realizes that butterflies in the stomach do NOT mean disgust.

hehe.

I had a hard time with this chapter. I didn't want Iruka to hedge too quickly in Kakashi's favor, but I didn't want to DRAG IT ON any longer, either. I think I did ok, but it took several revisions and I'm not sure it's entirely clean cut yet. There is the miniscule chance that THIS chapter may become revised and reposted at some point, but for now I think it's ok. Besides, I know it was really cruel of me to post that cliffhanger, but I only had the first paragraph or two of this chapter written at the time, so I couldn't post them both. sorry. Sort of. hehe.

Anyway, You can put your weapons (wether meant for me or yourselves) away for now.

Concerning lemons. Again. Seems how everyone's looking so terribly foreword to such an event. (at this rate it'll be a while... O.o)

STILL not sure what I'm going to provide in THAT department...Now, being the porn whore that I am, you'll at least get a tastefully written, but exceptionally suggestive scene SOMEWHERE in there, but I'm not sure if I'll put anything...well, up to par with Jiraiya Sama's fine works of art or not.. ;-) We'll have to see.

EDIT: Somebody pointed out a rather embarrassing mistake I missed where I accidentially called Sakura "sasuke" lol. Has been fixed so hopefully that's the only error in this chap. lol.

Thanks for all the reviews!

MRE


	16. Chapter 16

_**Blind**_

16

"Oi. Dobe. Wake up."

"Maah…fuck off…" Naruto swatted blindly at whoever it was trying to get him to wake up, determined to stay asleep. Somebody shrieked.

"Aaah! Don't speak to Sasuke-kun that way!" _Wham!_

Naruto yelped, sitting up and rubbing his head blearily, eyes tearing up.

"Eehh….Sakura-Chan…you didn't have to hit me!" He whined. Foggy blue eyes finally focused on his two teammates, crouching by his bedside. Sakura scowled, and whacked Naruto again.

"Wake up, damnit!" She yelled. Beside her, Sasuke sighed heavily in exasperation. This was _not_ how he had planned on spending his morning. _**Why** am I doing this again…?_ He wondered grumpily to himself as he watched Sakura shake Naruto roughly, telling him to wake up again. _Oh yeah…because your moron of a Sensei looked like he was about to die. I need that perverted bastard to train me so I can kill my brother…damn it…_

"Sasuke-kun's got news about Iruka-Sensei and Kakashi-Sensei!" Came Sakura's shrill voice, clean past all Sasuke's mental anti-annoyance barriers he had already erected for the day. _Damn it…_ He thought again, feeling rather sour. _That's my cue to pay attention…_

"EH?" Naruto sat up, looking suddenly very awake, which was exceptional in itself, as he was by no means a morning person. "What? What?" He added, leaning out across his bed towards Sasuke, who recoiled with a glare.

"Get back, Morning Breath. Go get dressed and we'll talk." He said, fixing Naruto a cold but completely ineffective glare. Naruto scowled at Sasuke for a moment before finally jumping out from under the covers and dashing towards his bathroom. Sakura gave a small scream of dismay as he did so, yelling about the indecency of sleeping in only boxers. Sasuke snorted softly to himself. _She wouldn't call me indecent if she knew how **I** slept…_ He didn't want to put up with her fangirlish squealing this early, however, and refrained from speaking.

---------

As Kakashi left the bedroom, Iruka let out a slow breath, sinking back into his mattress.

_Yikes…_He couldn't remember another time in his life when he'd felt this…_weird_. Of course, one simple word didn't even begin to describe the rather nauseating whirlpool of emotions rushing about inside of the Chuunin. First and foremost within Iruka was utter confusion. This was because he didn't fully understand any of the other emotions he was experiencing. Separately, each was easy enough to define and understand, but they'd all blended together to make one fantastic mess. Amidst the confusion, Iruka distinctly felt a sort of heartbreak or sadness, for which he blamed Kakashi. Iruka's best line of reasoning for this was that Kakashi's mood had been terribly contagious. Joined directly with the pain was sympathy. While Iruka swore to himself he felt nothing, he was definitely picking up on Kakashi's pain, and it was bad enough second hand. It certainly wasn't _his _fault but he still couldn't imagine what Kakashi was going through. This left a certain empty guilt to settle in the pit of Iruka's stomach. He_ was_ right to be angry, wasn't he? Kakashi had no right to do what he did, and Iruka would be damned if he'd be sorry about the other man suffering from his own mistakes…

Iruka groaned, rubbing his hands over his aching eyes -yes, they still hurt him quite frequently, though the pain wasn't too bad and so he had kept the information to himself.

The guilt had been somewhat absolved when Iruka had made the decision to forgive Kakashi, at least partially- that wasn't to say he actually trusted the other man anymore… Unfortunately, yet another emotion had instantly flooded in to fill the hole where the guilt had been, and in retrospect, Iruka thought he preferred the guilt.

A deep breathless, fluttering feeling, and a flash of hot and cold through his chest. The feverish, frozen butterflies multiplying like vermin inside of Iruka were _not_ welcome at all. Mainly because Iruka couldn't explain their presence to anyone, let alone himself, no matter how greatly he wanted to.

Keeping his hands over his eyes-the light pressure felt good - Iruka tested a sloppily formed theory by carefully picturing Kakashi in his mind's eye, as best he could. At first, nothing happened. Iruka realized with a frown that he'd visualized Kakashi with his back turned, and willed the imagined figure to turn around. It did, after a moment of concentration, and Iruka gasped, recoiling from his own imagination as warm, hurt eyes met him met his, joined with a bitter, sad smile. Iruka dropped the image instantly, his heart thundering and his eyes watering. The butterflies swelled inside of Iruka, making him gasp slightly and wrap his arms around himself to try and fight off the burning chill inside.

_What's wrong with me…?_ Iruka thought, shaking his head fiercely and rubbing at his face. _Why is Kakashi- _another wave, though weak, fluttered up into Iruka's throat. _-having this weird effect on me **now**!_ He wanted to leap out of bed right then and there, storm into the kitchen and throttle the man, and demand answers. Loudly. Iruka groaned again, rolling over and smashing his face into the pillow. _What in the name of Kami-Sama did I **do** to deserve all of this!_

---------

"So what does this mean?" Sakura asked, frowning across the café table at Sasuke. Sasuke sighed, rubbing his face.

"I don't know. But it can't be good, can it?" He'd related his story of spotting Iruka and Tomodachi, the former shivering in naught but his sleep clothes and a forgotten blanket, hiding out in the woods, to his teammates. Now Sakura and Naruto sat staring agape and pale at him. They knew that their teammate was brilliantly observant and, egos aside, fully trusted his intuition. Sasuke rubbed his face some more, resisting the urge to grumble. "I just thought you'd want to know…" He muttered sourly.

"Well, should we go check on them?" Sakura asked. She was worrying a paper napkin in her hands, anxiously folding it and unfolding it repeatedly into different origami shapes. It had been folded so many times now that it was starting to disintegrate.

"No." Sakura's head snapped around so she could stare in surprise at Naruto. He had again been oddly quiet, listening intensely to Sasuke's story. "We'll just mess it up for them." He went on, eyes sad but thoughtful. "Remember what happened last time? Iruka-Sensei was getting mad and Kakashi-Sensei was totally freaking out!" Sakura's brow wrinkled slightly as she frowned. "Iruka-Sensei and Kakashi-Sensei are both really strong right? So if Kakashi-Sensei is as upset as Sasuke says he was, that means something bad happened, right? And Iruka-Sensei wouldn't just run away if there wasn't a good reason. That's what you're suggesting, right?" He added to Sasuke, who nodded mutely, as baffled by Naruto's burst of insight as Sakura was.. "That Iruka-Sensei ran away from Kakashi-Sensei early this morning?" Naruto went on. "But you saw him go home, right? And Kakashi-Sensei went after him…" Naruto took a breath. His words came quicker and quicker as he went on, but his voice remained low and serious. "That means they're probably…well, hopefully talking now, right? We shouldn't interrupt them."

"But what if they're just over there killing each other? You saw how Iruka-Sensei got the other day…" Sakura said uncertainly, disturbed by Naruto's sudden burst of intelligence, and also deeply worried for both sensei.

"They won't kill each other." Sasuke said slowly, as if explaining the obvious. "Kakashi-Sensei likes Iruka-Sensei too much to do anything to him, and Iruka-Sensei has a hot temper but he's not stupid." He looked across the table at Naruto, dark gaze fixing on serious blue eyes. "I agree with Naruto…For once." Naruto's jaw dropped and Sakura nodded mutely, stunned as well.

"So what _do_ we do…?" She breathed after a moment.

"We need to let them work things out for themselves, but…" He trailed off. He needed to figure out how to say this without totally wrecking his image. "…I'm… concerned for Kakashi-Sensei…" He looked up over at his, yes, friends. "…And it's disturbing to see him this messed up…" He mentally braced himself for the inevitable teasing about being a romantic softie, but none came. Sakura and Naruto were only nodding in earnest agreement.

"You're saying we should help?" Sakura asked carefully. Sasuke nodded slowly.

"Yeah…But for now let's just see what happens. We don't fully know what's going on right now, and I think it would be dangerous to push anything anyway…"

"Eeeh? I don't get it…" Naruto murmured, his golden moment of intellect long gone. Sasuke took a deep breath. _I can't believe I'm doing this…_

"I'm saying we need to stick up for Kakashi-Sensei, when we can, but not try and openly push Iruka-Sensei into anything or he'll just freak out." Sakura nodded in agreement.

"Even if we can't help directly, I bet Kakashi-Sensei could use all the support he can get…" Naruto nodded rapidly as well in earnest agreement. Sasuke, who'd been sitting with his hands folded on the little table, stood, stuffing them in his pockets.

"Then for now we wait. I'm going to go catch up on all the training I missed this morning because of those two idiots…" He turned to go, ignoring Naruto's indignant outcry.

"Iruka-Sensei is not an idiot!"

---------

Iruka felt like a total idiot. He had decided that he was done with the deep-soul searching for the day, and had tried to push thoughts of that morning out of his mind. Unfortunately, sitting alone in the dark didn't provide much useful distraction, and the confusing notions had come cascading back into his mind entirely without permission. Not about to admit to boredom, but definitely in need of a distraction from himself, Iruka had left the room.

Now he lingered in the doorway to the kitchen, rubbing the back of his hand anxiously. There was small scab there from his attempts at tree climbing the day before. He'd taken a number of falls and was beginning to feel pretty sore.

Kakashi had his back to Iruka, though the Chuunin was certain Kakashi knew of his presence. Iruka worked his jaw, mentally fumbling for words.

He felt so stupid.

"Aaa…" He began, already mentally groaning and slapping himself. Kakashi straightened up some and turned to face Iruka. Iruka couldn't spare the energy to examine the man's facial expression, but his posture was relaxed. Iruka found himself oddly relieved at this. Kakashi waited quietly. "Ah…is there anything I can do to help…?" Iruka asked finally. He was still scratching at the little scab, and winced when it suddenly gave way under the constant worrying, stinging and beginning to bleed, just slightly. He automatically glanced at it, though the cut looked quite different through hues of chakara. Its edges were dark, though the core of the fine line glowed heavily with chakara, seeping out of his body with the blood. Iruka frowned at it.

"You're bleeding." Kakashi said. Iruka prodded the tiny wound with a finger, testing it.

"Yeah…It's nothing, though." Iruka said.

"Do you want something for it?" Kakashi asked anyway.

"Naah… I think I'll just rinse it off…" As he spoke, Iruka crossed the kitchen to the sink, running warm water over his hand for a moment. He was much closer to Kakashi now, and his chest fluttered for half a heartbeat, but Iruka was more focused on the soothing feeling of the water running over his hands.

"Your 'Sight' is back?" Kakashi asked over his shoulder. His voice was full of relief.

"Yeah. Things are a little blurry…but it's definitely better than nothing."

"That's good."

"So can I help with anything?" Iruka pressed. He watched Kakashi as he looked up, then all around him, looking almost as if he didn't know where he was.

"Uh…"

"I'm sorry…I'm feeling kind of stir crazy right now…" Iruka said.

"Yeah…" Kakashi barely breathed the word, but it was clearly audible anyway.

"You too?" Iruka asked softly.

"Let's just say I'm glad my Sensei taught me to cook…" Kakashi said. "I'm sorry, I don't really need anything in here…" He added, glancing back towards Iruka. "Are you up for some training with the kids after we eat…?"

"Yeah…yeah…that sounds good…" Iruka said. "I'm ah…I…" He trailed off. He would be as kind as possible. There had been enough pain that morning already. He searched for words to describe his feelings that would not make Kakashi cringe.

"Yeah… Weird?" Kakashi provided, obviously understanding both that Iruka was trying to be civil despite the situation, and the sentiment that he was trying to convey.

"Yah." Iruka said, shifting a little. The silence stretched awkwardly. Iruka chewed his lip as Kakashi went quiet. "Um…"

"Iruka-Sensei?" Tomodachi had come in out of the living room.

"Your timing is uncanny, 'Dachi." Kakashi said flatly.

"I was on the impression that my duty in this house was to act as a tension buffer between you two, Kakashi." Tomodachi said wryly. Iruka snorted.

"No one told me that." He said, crossing his arms over his chest, assuming a stern posture he'd developed as a teacher.

"You never asked." Kakashi countered, a small hint of humor seeping into his low voice. Iruka shrugged.

"As I was saying…" Tomodachi started again, moving further into Iruka's kitchen, toenails clicking softly on the linoleum floor. "I wouldn't mind a short walk with Iruka-Sensei while you finish up, Kakashi… if you're up for it." He added to Iruka. Iruka smiled softly.

"That sounds good…"

"Well, we've got about fifteen or twenty minutes, I think." Kakashi said, sounding agreeable.

"Great…" Tomodachi said, his voice sounding as if a deal had been settled.

"Wait a minute…" Iruka had brought his hand up to his face. "My eyes… I don't want to be just out and walking around…like this…" He frowned. "I'd hate to say it but I have no idea where that hitai-ate went…" He added.

"I have it." Kakashi said. He did not, however, make a move to return it to Iruka. "Should I get you one out of your room?" He added after a moment. Iruka felt rather taken aback.

"How'd you get--"

"You threw it at me yesterday." Kakashi said, voice hardening just slightly. Iruka leaned back on his heels, startled by Kakashi's tone of voice.

"That was your _nice_ one, wasn't it?" Tomodachi asked cryptically.

"…Yeah…" Kakashi said quietly.

"Huh?" Iruka asked.

"Kakashi's managed to keep that headband unscathed for over a decade." Tomodachi said, still not providing any helpful information as to why Kakashi was acting so suddenly cold over a forehead protector.

"Um…" Iruka, feeling thoroughly confused shuffled slightly where he stood. Tomodachi came up and tugged gently on his hand.

"Come on. Your eyes are fine." Tomodachi said soothingly.

"Wait." Kakashi said suddenly and Iruka staggered to a halt. "Here." Kakashi went on, crossing the distance to Iruka and sliding his hitai-ate over Iruka's eyes gently. He spoke as he cinched the knot firmly. "My Sensei gave me this just after I received my Sharingan." Which meant right after Obito had died. "It was his idea to cover it, since it was sapping my chakara so badly. I think it's the only decent forehead protector I own." Kakashi finished with a small laugh. Suddenly realizing the gravity of his earlier treatment of this treasure, Iruka turned to protest, but Kakashi planted a firm, warm hand in the middle of his back and pushed very gently. "Go on now. Lunch'll be ready soon." Iruka felt himself sway back into motion, Tomodachi pulling him along silently. Kakashi's hitai-ate settled over his nose slightly as he moved, the fabric warm and sweet smelling from having been nestled safely in Kakashi's breast pocket.

---------

Iruka had remained thoughtfully silent through his walk with Tomodachi, and lunch with Kakashi. He was still quiet even as he walked with Kakashi out across grassy fields towards Team 7's training grounds. He was again thinking about the lineage of the hitai-ate lying warmly over his eyes. It bothered him. He didn't feel deserving of such a treasure, and he felt awkward receiving something so precious from Kakashi, acutely aware of the other man's feelings. That, mingling with all the other uncertain thoughts bubbling around in Iruka left the Chuunin feeling extremely off balanced. He was distinctly aware of Kakashi's presence, just beside him, and could almost judge the physical distance between them down to the centimeter. Kakashi was to Iruka's left, Tomodachi to his right, but there was a gravitational pull towards the former that Iruka found himself viciously resisting. No, he did _not_ want to get any closer to the perverted Hatake Kakashi, thank you very much.

Iruka frowned slightly to himself, adjusting the forehead protector over his eyes slightly. Weird inconsistencies in the laws of gravity were the least of Iruka's worries.

"Yo!" Kakashi called. Iruka turned his attention back to his companion. Kakashi waved and grinned cheekily at the trio watching them curiously as they drew close.

Kakashi looked gratifyingly bewildered when he was not greeted with the usual indignant chorus of 'You're late!' but instead by a trio calculating looks.

"We didn't expect to see you today." Sasuke said coolly. "You didn't look like you'd make it past noon, this morning."

"Yeah, what happened!" Sakura demanded.

"Yeah! Yeah!" Naruto added uselessly. Iruka frowned at Kakashi, and the Team 7 Sensei recoiled slightly.

"Nothing!" Kakashi said, not very convincingly.

"You looked like you were about to kill yourself." Sasuke said blandly. Iruka spun around to look at Kakashi, even though he really didn't need to move. With his Second Sight, he had a full three-hundred and sixty degree radius of vision. However, old habits, especially body language, die hard.

"What?" He asked, aghast.

"He was looking for you, in fact." Sakura told Iruka. "What happened with you guys?"

"I said nothing." Kakashi broke in, voice hardening suddenly. The discussion ended.

"Thank you." Iruka murmured sometime later once the kids were distracted from them.

"I didn't think that was something you'd want to discuss." Kakashi replied in a low voice.

"Leaving it between just us and the Hokage is already one too many…" Iruka agreed, then hissed suddenly, nudging Kakashi with his elbow. Through his blue white world, he could see the gray shadowed silhouette of Sasuke, eyes gleaming brilliantly white and eerie. Iruka was reminded of some small, but nonetheless vicious and deadly predator.

"Tell me Kakashi. Can you read lips with that eye of yours?" Iruka asked casually. Kakashi turned, peering through the woods at Sasuke, who immediately turned away. Kakashi frowned to himself.

"Damn the genes that made that boy so observant." Kakashi muttered.

"It's time we start on my own training anyway, don't you think?" Iruka said, changing the subject slightly.

"Want to climb trees again?" Kakashi asked.

"No." Iruka said instantly, scowling. Kakashi laughed softly.

"It's not funny!" Iruka whined.

"No, not really…" Kakashi agreed, though he was still chuckling. "It's just the way you said it. I think I got the same reaction from Sasuke-kun once for asking him if he wanted me to set him up on a date with Sakura-chan." Kakashi laughed again at the memory. Iruka sighed.

That was kind of funny.

"Yes, well, I'm not climbing trees." He said.

"Ah ha… okay okay…Want to spar until I think of something?" Kakashi asked in a boyishly hopeful voice. Iruka sighed, rolling his useless eyes under his blindfold. Kakashi could see his eyebrows go up and gathered the expression though he couldn't see it.

"What? You're harder than the kids!" Kakashi said. "You're smart enough to know when I'm just pulling some idea out of my ass, so I have to actually think about it!"

"Like you'd have time to think about that while you're sparring." Iruka countered, squaring his shoulders.

"With you I do!" Kakashi teased, already dancing away as Iruka's jaw dropped and the incensed Chuunin charged, kunai drawn.

Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura sat lined up along a high tree branch, watching the two sensei spar.

"It almost looks like they're enjoying themselves now…" Sakura mused quietly. Naruto blinked in confusion as Iruka let out a growl and lunged at Kakashi's throat, only to have the Jounin teleport away to a safer distance.

"Eh?"

"It looks like whatever stress they were experiencing this morning has dispersed…for now. They're merely distracted." Sasuke observed quietly. "I saw them talking before they started. I could read Iruka-Sensei's lips but he didn't say anything that gave away what happened…. Except that neither wanted to let on to us about it."

Sakura pouted slightly.

"Meh. Don't they know we'll find out anyway?" She whined.

"But how!" Naruto demanded loudly. Below, Iruka's head snapped around at the sound of the blonde's voice, but his attention wasn't diverted for long, due to another attack from Kakashi.

"We'll ask the Hokage. Iruka-Sensei mentioned her. I bet she knows." Sasuke said.

"Would she tell us something like that though?" Sakura wondered aloud, frowning thoughtfully.

"We'll make her, damnit!" Naruto shouted. This time Kakashi turned and looked at Naruto, and received a gloriously executed roundhouse kick upside the head for his inattentiveness.

"YES! Go Iruka-Sensei!" Sakura squealed. She clapped softly, grinning over at Naruto, who looked stunned, and the impassive Sasuke. "I didn't know he was that limber!" She added. Sasuke snorted.

"Kakashi-Sensei will like _that_." He said wryly.

There was a moment of confused silence, then,

"Aagh! Pervert!" Naruto laughed at Sakura's reaction, then lunged to catch her as she almost fell from her seat on their branch.

---------

Iruka and Kakashi staggered into Iruka's apartment hours later, covered in grime. Iruka had long ago lost control of his Second Sight and was stumbling clumsily as he tried to navigate the world in total darkness. Kakashi was less of a wreck, physically, but also exhausted from a sleepless night and their busy morning. Neither had spent much time thinking about the misfortunes that started their day, and were almost sharing a sort of gratified joy. There was nothing to fix a bad day like a good workout.

Kakashi staggered in through the entryway and into the living room, flopping down exhaustedly onto the couch. Iruka followed, but crashed into the corner of it, almost falling but catching himself on the backrest. He gave a soft, embarrassed laugh and sank down to sit on the floor. Tomodachi smirked at them from the doorway.

"Well, I'm a mess…" Kakashi commented. Iruka had been a formidable partner sparring today. He had several small lacerations from even more close calls with Iruka's kunai. "I don't know what changed but you're fighting was a lot stronger today."

"I'm more comfortable with not being able to see, I think… I noticed too…" Iruka said tiredly. "You…you loose things, without eyesight… Which direction is up… how far up from the ground your legs are…really weird stuff…but I'm trusting my own balance a little more now I think…"

"So you were this good to begin with." Kakashi said.

"I wouldn't say I'm that great."

"You kept up with me all day." Kakashi countered.

"You were going easy." Iruka accused.

"Not that much." Kakashi argued. "I held back so I wouldn't kill you, yeah. But believe me I wouldn't have let you cut me half as many times as I did if I could have helped it." Iruka straightened up.

"I actually got you!"

"Yeah. I'm bleeding all over the place here." Kakashi said good naturedly.

"Ak--!"

"Not that bad. Settle down." Kakashi said, laughing softly. "But yeah, you got me…they're just scratches but…lesse…one, two…three….four, five… three more down there… hmm…I don't know if that's a kunai line or something else…I've got about a dozen holes in my uniform I'm going to have to sew up now." Kakashi said. It seemed weird to Iruka how pleased about it he sounded. There was a thoughtful pause. "…How long have you been a Chuunin?" Kakashi asked. Iruka leaned back on his palms, thinking for a moment.

"About ten years I guess…." He said.

"That long!" Kakashi demanded.

"Yeah…"

"And you haven't--"

"No. I want to keep teaching." Iruka cut him off firmly, sensing what Kakashi was about to ask.

"Oh." Another pause. "I bet you could do it."

"Maybe. But I like where I am." The silence stretched after that. Iruka staggered up off the floor. "I need a shower…"

"What do you want for dinner?" Kakashi called after Iruka's retreating back.

"Food." Iruka answered flatly. He stumbled slightly as his foot caught a wooden chair, and Kakashi grimaced, but Iruka kept his balance and went on smoothly.

"Okay…" Kakashi said, pulling himself out of the couch.

---------

Iruka stood under the stream of hot water, leaning against the side of his shower, just taking a moment to breathe. He was exhausted. Furthermore, memories of that morning were beginning to filter back into his mind, despite his best efforts to block them out, and his muddled emotions were even more wearing. He turned his head towards where he knew his bathroom sink was, though he couldn't see a thing at the moment. He knew that Kakashi's -the _Yondaime's_- Hitai-ate rested neatly folded there. Iruka bit his lip.

_I should have known there was a reason he insisted on me using his instead of my own…_ He thought, rubbing his hands over his face. They were hot from the water and made his eyes burn slightly, but not enough to really bother him. He ran his hands over as much of his body as he could reach, searching out any cuts or bits of mud he may have missed. _This is all getting so complicated…and then today… _Aside from the way it started -and that almost seemed like an entirely separate day in itself - Iruka realized he'd had a more or less fantastic day. _I had **fun**…real fun. Kakashi knew just how to make me forget…at least for a while…_ Iruka sat down in the bathtub, letting the shower water pour down over him from far above. The sound roared in his ears, and the amount of oxygen in the steam-laden air made him feel slightly dizzy. Sitting cross-legged he took a moment to empty his mind. Iruka didn't meditate much, but he used the emptying techniques frequently simply to give himself a break from stress.

_Empty…nothing…think gray…nothing…_ Gradually, the sound of the water falling all over and around him grew louder, then distant, like through a tunnel. _Yes…_

_"Iruka…please…"_

Iruka gasped, empty eyes snapping useleslly open as that single memory came back crystal clear. He threw his hand out to the side, thrusting a fist into the shower curtain, almost certain Kakashi had actually been there, whispering in his ear.

Of course, no one was there. Iruka withdrew his shaking hand and shut off the water, but still sat in the bottom of the now empty and cooling bathtub.

_Oh god…_

_-------------_

An: ...I had SUCH a hard time with this chapter. I hate it. Well, it's ok. But still. blegh. unless it's something like swapping Sasuke and Sakura again, I don't want to hear about it this time. The last 2 weeks, since New Years' Eve has been a nightmare, and as it turns out, Dear Mako Chan here can't write when she's depressed. Those four lines in the kitchen where Ruka and Kashi are just like "yeah..."

that took me an hour.

That said, I'm doing a little bit better now, and actually have ideas racked up for the next few chapters (still no end in sight kids). Just forgive me if I'm a little sluggish for a while. I'm still writing. it's just incredibly slow. go to my webpage (link in bio) for illustrations, in the meantime. I've done lots of those... grins devart members leave comments:)

That said.. (sniggers at poor confused widdle Ruka-kun.) R&R please!

MRE


	17. Chapter 17

_**Blind**_

17

Iruka straightened up from his position in the bottom of his damp but empty bathtub at the sound of a soft knock.

"Iruka?" Kakashi's voice was soft and muffled through the door, but clearly audible. "Are you alright in there?" The concern in the man's voice was evident, and Iruka grimaced.

"Yeah… I'll be out in a few minutes…"

"Okay…I didn't mean to bother you I just--" Kakashi went on anxiously.

"It's okay. I kind of zoned out… My bad…" Iruka heard himself say, feeling oddly distant.

"Oh. Alright." Kakashi answered, and Iruka listened to him shuffle off back out of his room. Sighing heavily, he pulled himself, wobbling, out of his bathtub and began searching for the towel he'd left on the counter, patting his hands out along in front of him. Finally finding it, he dried off his by now cold body, and dressed as quickly as he could manage. Feeling somewhat rested, he was able to reach out with his innermost core and map out his home in shades of chakara, easily spotting the Jounin cooking in his kitchen. He quickly memorized any obstacles and then dropped the developing jutsu, saving his strength.

Iruka took his time navigating his home, tired, sore, and in no hurry, though the smell of Kakashi's cooking was deeply compelling. He found himself, as always, drawn to the kitchen. He heard a series of clanks and snaps as Kakashi turned off the stove and removed one or possibly several skillets. More soft clanks, and then the flap-squeak of bare feet on linoleum as Kakashi turned to face Iruka for a moment.

"You have good timing, I just finished." Kakashi said. Iruka surprised himself when he smiled in response.

---------

Kakashi cracked open his good eye, almost glaring at the bright, cheerful sunlight pouring in through Iruka's living room window at him. He hated waking up. It wasn't so much that Kakashi was not a morning person, and actually, he wasn't as lazy as he acted either, but that he enjoyed the simplest things in life. There was nothing finer, in Kakashi's opinion, than waking slowly as if from a deep coma, letting the world filter in slowly, first just in temperature as the sensation of being happily warm and soft settled into a dull mind, then light, and sound, then smell…

Ninja didn't get to wake up slowly very often. In fact, for most including Kakashi, it was second nature to snap awake and be instantly alert. Usually the only times that Kakashi got to wake up nice and slow were when he was too injured to be fully coherent anyway and he couldn't fully appreciate the beauty of the moment.

This is why Hatake Kakashi spends the first few moments of nearly every morning sulking.

Done glaring at the world in general, he sat up from Iruka's couch slowly, grunting. He was sore from his sparring with Iruka. The little nicks and cuts that were scattered haphazardly across his body were stiff and ached with a stinging itch as they healed. No matter how he moved, one or more prickled uncomfortably. They were, of course, as trivial as paper cuts to Kakashi, but difficult to ignore nonetheless. He stretched his shoulders and back carefully before he even bothered to move any further from his seat. As he twisted to pop his back, he glanced at the clock in the corner, a silver eyebrow arching in wonderment. He was awake a good hour earlier than usual. It wasn't quite seven in the morning yet, and guessing from how exhausted he'd been the evening before, Kakashi figured that Iruka would sleep for at least another half hour. He walked over to where he'd left his shirt and flack jacket on a chair and pulled both on, then his mask, tying his hitai-ate on last. Giving a low whistle he called Tomodachi, who'd been asleep under the kitchen table again, to his side.

"If Iruka wakes up and I'm not back yet, watch after him. I'm going to pay Hokage-Sama a visit before I start breakfast. I won't be gone very long. Reassure him that, will you?" Kakashi said, rubbing Tomodachi's amber sides lovingly as he spoke. Tomodachi's tail wagged happily at the attention, and he smiled.

"Of course I will."

"Good. Have him think about what he wants for breakfast, too."

"Will do." Tomodachi said, bringing Kakashi his sandals. Kakashi gave him one last scratch.

"Good boy." Smiling behind his mask at the nin dog, Kakashi teleported from the room with a soft pop.

Kakashi took the luxury of walking to the Hokage's Tower instead of teleporting directly. It was a clear, cool morning though judging by the golden sunlight pouring down through the trees and scattered rooftops, the day would heat up quite nicely. Kakashi could smell hints of pine, crushed oak leaves, and the earthier smell of winter in the cool, clean air. The early rain that had passed a few days earlier had cleansed the town beautifully. A drop of dew splashed onto the bridge of his cloth covered nose as Kakashi walked under a tree, glancing up through it's leaves at the blue sky overhead.

"Hmm…" It would be a good day for training, Kakashi mused. He kept his eye trained mostly upwards towards the trees and the sky as he walked, contemplating the various training exercises and lessons he would subject his students to that day. He kicked a small rock by accident with the edge of his sandal, and toeing it up into the air, Kakashi caught the pebble and tossed it from hand to hand idly as he walked. He thought of where he had been this time the day before, and marveled at how just the previous days' events seemed like a lifetime ago. He wondered if it seemed distant to Iruka too, or if his brain had just shut away such hurtful events in self defense. He almost felt guilty for how blessedly relaxed he was feeling, but shook the guilt off, not really wanting to wreck his own morning just yet. _You're angstier than Sasuke…_ Inner Kakashi chided halfheartedly. Shrugging to nobody in particular, Kakashi strolled on, determined to enjoy himself at least a little.

---------

Tsunade raised a well-groomed eyebrow in amusement.

"Caught on, have you?" She asked, smirking. She now sat behind Shizune's desk, as hers was still in need of replacement. The smaller, simpler desk however did not take away from her regal, authoritative aura.

"Of course we have!" Sakura cried.

"It's blaringly obvious that something happened." Sasuke added.

"So just tell us already, Old Lady!" Naruto finished, earning a glare from not only Tsunade, but his teammates as well. After a short pause to let her glare sink in, though it wasn't really that effective, Tsunade laughed.

"Ha! The truth would probably give you three nightmares."

"I don't have nightmares." Sasuke said flatly.

"I doubt that." Sakura said.

"Just tell us!" Naruto added. Sakura stomped on his foot angrily.

"Shut up, Naruto! You shouldn't talk like that to the Hokage!" Naruto sulked, but fell silent. Tsunade, if anything, looked even more amused.

"And what if I don't tell you?" She asked.

"We'll find out sooner or later anyway." Sasuke said coolly. Tsunade sat back.

"We're really concerned about Kakashi-Sensei." Sakura blurted out. Sasuke and Naruto nodded.

"What are you three going to do?" Tsunade said, smirking. "Try to hook them up?" To her great amusement, all three Genin nodded. She leaned foreword. "So, what's your plan?" She asked, almost eagerly.

"I'm still working on coming up with one." Sasuke said. Tsunade sat back, surprised.

"_You_?" She asked, grinning openly. Sasuke sighed in exasperation. He knew he'd get this sooner or later…

"Yes, me…" He grumbled. Tsunade glanced first at Sakura, then to Naruto in silent questioning.

"It was _his_ idea!" Naruto all but yelled, pointing the finger of accusation at Sasuke.

"Oh ho!" Tsunade said. "I didn't know you were into that sort of thing!"

"I'm not." Sasuke ground out. "But I need Kakashi-Sensei to get back to being himself or I'm going to need to find a new teacher, which would waste even more of my training time." Tsunade nodded in exaggerated understanding.

_Hmm…what a cute excuse…_ She thought ruefully. "How sweet of you." She said aloud, making Sasuke frown darkly. "Let me know how everything goes…

"Yesterday morning…" Tsunade sighed, going on. "Your idiot of a sensei decided to go and try something with Iruka while he was still asleep, and needless to say, without permission. I don't think Iruka-kun was too happy about what he woke up to…" She smirked a little as both boys' eyes widened, and Sakura covered her gaping mouth with both hands, blushing fiercely as colorful images were no doubt painting themselves in all three of their creative little minds.

"He didn't--! I mean…nothing _bad_…did he!" Sakura cried haltingly as she recovered. Naruto looked deeply puzzled, though Sasuke's eyes narrowed dangerously. Sasuke was all for trying to get Kakashi and Iruka together, but if Kakashi had already gone too far… His stern face relaxed some as Tsunade shook her head in negation.

"No… stole a few kisses, it seems. If he did anything more, Iruka didn't say, but I think I would have heard about it the way he came running to me like I was Kakashi's mother or something…" She snorted. "Actually… the way he talked about it…" She trailed off thoughtfully. "Well, I don't know but he sounded in denial."

"Wh-what do you mean?" Naruto said.

"I mean he didn't seem as upset as he said he was." Tsunade concluded.

"Really…" Sasuke said, interested again.

"But I told you three none of this!" Tsunade said, folding her hands on the desk as if sealing a deal. "But….check back in with me if anything…interesting happens, will you?" Her face softened beatifically. "I'd like to see Kakashi-kun back to his normal self as well." She added quietly. Sakura and Naruto smiled almost mushily, though Sasuke again only nodded. The three bowed, and headed for the large double doors leading out of Tsunade's office.

---------

Kakashi gave the two ANBU standing guard at Tsunade's office doors a friendly nod. The Ferret slouched out of his way, nodding back, while the Hawk gave an almost painful looking salute and leapt out of his way, making Kakashi smirk to himself. He reached out to pull one of the doors open, but it swung out seemingly on it's own, as did it's twin, startling Kakashi slightly. He stepped back out of the way, positioned between the two ANBU, and froze, singly visible eye widening considerably. Out walked Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto. There was a moment where time slowed as the trio passed Kakashi, Sasuke giving him a coolly calculating glance. Kakashi frowned suspiciously, staring at the dark-haired youth. His eye narrowed dangerously, but Sasuke seemed completely nonplussed, as did Sakura who smiled at him carelessly. Behind her, Naruto made a rude face at his sensei, then trotted off after his teammates. Kakashi remained frozen between the two open doors, staring after his students for a moment, before turning slowly to look at Tsunade through the doorway. When he still did not move, the Ferret cleared his throat.

"You know those kids?" He asked.

"They're my students…" Kakashi said hazily.

"They are?" The Ferret straightened up, glancing back down the hall, though Team 7 had already disappeared. "Oh…Man… Uchiha, _and_ that Kyuubi kid? I'm sorry man…" Kakashi snorted.

"You have no idea. Any clue as to what those brats are up to?" Ferret shrugged, then glanced over to Hawk, who shook his head so hard that his mask fell askew.

"Nope…sorry man." Kakashi frowned under his mask, brow furrowing slightly.

"It can't be good, whatever it is…Maa…maybe the Old Lady will tell me." Kakashi muttered as he wandered into Tsunade's office, closing both doors after himself. Ferret winced as he clearly heard Tsunade snap 'I heard that, you disrespectful brat!'

---------

"Still no ideas?" Sakura asked as she, Naruto and Sasuke waited at a small wooden bridge over the gently rushing river that zig-zagged through the entirety of Fire Country. She was poking at a small handful of pebbles she'd collected during her walk to the bridge as she spoke, leaning against the wooden railing, back to the water. Sasuke, leaning on one of the larger support posts, arms crossed coldly, shook his head.

"Oh, I've had ideas," He said sourly. "They're just all so idiotic we could probably blame them all on Naruto."

Naruto, who was standing at the opposite railing and gazing down into the water, snapped his head around to glare at Sasuke. Sasuke ignored him.

"So no. No ideas….no viable ones anyway." He finished. Sakura sighed, picking a pebble out of her hand. She glanced at Naruto who had his back turned again, and then threw the rock sharply at one of the support beams at the land end of the bridge. The pebble ricocheted with a sharp crack from the wooden post, and rebounded back to pop Naruto in the side of the head. Caught completely unawares, the blond yelped, jumping and glancing all around angrily. Sakura stuck her hand, pebbles and all, into her pocket quickly, and let Naruto try and figure out where the rock had come from. Sasuke arched an eyebrow in silent interest. Eventually, Naruto gave up trying to figure out where the attack had come from, and returned to his water gazing with a soft grumble.

"I even thought of trying to set them up on a blind date…" Sasuke muttered sullenly after a few minutes. Even Sakura groaned at this.

"That's not funny!" She whined. She was eyeing another post. Sasuke sighed.

"Yeah…I know…" He said, grinding the heel of his sandal into a dent in the wood below him. He lifted his head as Sakura raised her arm again, taking quick aim and pitching another rock. This one bounced almost soundlessly and struck Naruto square in the right buttock, making the boy jump straight up in the air with a soft scream. He barely kept himself from falling into the water when he came back down, bear hugging the railing desperately.

"Who's out there, damn it!" He snarled, glaring off in the direction of the post Sakura had aimed at. Indignant blue eyes shot around to look at Sakura and Sasuke. "Did you see who threw that rock!" He demanded, pointing away from the pair. Sakura shrugged. Sasuke stared deadpan at Naruto, though inwardly he was roaring with laughter.

"There's no one out there, Dobe." He said. Naruto snarled once more for good measure, then turned away again.

"Kakashi-Sensei better hurry up and get here!" He groused. Sasuke turned and treated Sakura with an amused smile. The kunoichi blushed sweetly, and pocketed the rest of her pebble collection, saving them for later.

Minutes later Kakashi and Iruka were spotted along with Tomodachi, walking casually their way. When the three young ninja turned their way, Kakashi raised a hand in greeting.

"Yo!" Behind him, Iruka waved as well, though the gesture was a little vaguer. As was now his custom, Naruto leapt up and streaked straight past Kakashi to hug Iruka.

"Good morning Iruka-Sensei!" Naruto cheered happily, burying his face into Iruka's chest briefly before turning his tanned face upwards to look into his former sensei's face. Iruka, happily stuffed full of blueberry pancakes, grinned good naturedly.

"Good morning Naruto-kun. Kakashi-San hasn't kept you waiting for too long, has he? He won't tell me when we're supposed to actually meet you guys…" He fixed a small glare in Kakashi's direction. Naruto grinned wolfishly, though Iruka couldn't see this. He hadn't yet bothered with his Second Sight Jutsu. Iruka was forcing himself to become more accustomed to nothingness, as his jutsu wasn't exactly reliable yet.

"He's been earlier since you've been around," Sasuke broke in, only to be cut off by Naruto's vehemently shouted addition of "but STILL LATE!"

Iruka laughed softly. He wasn't surprised at all to hear that Kakashi was on better behavior for him. It irritated him slightly, for some unknown reason, but he pushed the feeling back. He was feeling better this morning than he had in weeks, and he really did not want to worry about…_that_…right now.

"Well! We'd better get started then, shouldn't we!" Kakashi chirped. He grinned around further protests about his tardiness, and lead the way off towards the meadows, his students, Iruka, and Tomodachi trailing behind.

---------

Sakura sat thumbing her pebble collection from that morning as she watched Naruto and Iruka spar not too far from where she and Sasuke sat. Kakashi had disappeared suddenly after giving them all instructions to take turns fighting in pairs. She was bored, and pretty worn out. Iruka, seemingly as energetic as Naruto today, had worn her through the ground, and was now working on Naruto with just as much gusto. Sasuke sat beside her, waiting his turn, and watching the pair, a serious, contemplative look on his face.

"It's like nothing happened." Sasuke said suddenly in a low voice, watching as Iruka laughed at some poorly executed trick Naruto had tried. Sakura jumped. Sasuke so very rarely had anything to say without being spoken to first, that she had not expected to hear a word from him at all.

"Huh?" She blinked, mind reeling slightly. Even after all this time, he still did that to her. She blushed slightly, embarrassed.

"Kakashi-Sensei and Iruka-Sensei. They were totally messed up yesterday, but today it's like nothing ever happened." Sasuke elaborated. Sakura frowned, thinking as she rolled a nearly spherical pebble around in her palm.

"Yeah…you're right…You think they made up?" She asked hopefully. Sasuke instantly shook his head.

"No. Kakashi is still a nervous wreck. Did you see him go all white when he almost bumped into Iruka-Sensei earlier?" Sakura frowned, nothing the dropped honorific. "…Where the hell did that bastard sneak off to, anyway?" Sasuke added, glancing around suspiciously.

"I don't know. He said he had an errand to run…"

"Probably spying on us…" Sasuke murmured. Sakura glanced at him, looking alarmed.

"You think!"

"I wouldn't put it past him…" Sasuke said, leaning back on his elbows. Sakura blinked, silently agreeing after giving the notion a second thought. Sasuke didn't look too concerned, though. She turned her attention back to Naruto and Iruka, eyes darting as she followed Naruto's movements. She raised her arm and pitched the marble-like rock she'd been toying with. There was a crack as it hit a giant oak across the small clearing they were gathered in, and ricocheted off at a sharp angle, colliding again with Naruto's backside. She held back a snigger at the resulting indignant wail. Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Do that again." He said. Sakura turned and stared at him a moment, surprised.

"What? This?" She held up a pebble. He nodded, and she felt her mind cloud over just slightly his sharingan activated, lazily whirling into motion even as he held eye contact for just a split second too long. She looked away, back towards Naruto and Iruka. "It's just math, really…" She said vaguely, raising her arm, vivid green eyes tracking her target a moment, before she took aim and pitched another pebble flying through the air. It hit a different tree, and struck Naruto in the back of the head. He staggered slightly, both hands coming up to cover the spot where the rock had hit, glancing back in the direction of the tree. Sasuke's eyes whirled maddeningly. Iruka took advantage of his partner's distraction, unaware of Sakura's interference, and swept both of Naruto's legs out from under him, deftly felling the boy. Sakura turned back to Sasuke just in time to see his eyes fade back to their usual shade of coal, though they sparkled slightly with laughter. The bemused expression seemed totally foreign on him.

"Could you really copy that too?" Sakura asked. Sasuke nodded.

"How'd you figure that out?" He asked the amusement not quite faded from his eyes.

"It's like a math problem… Whatever angle I throw the rock, it's going to ricochet off whatever it hits at the exact angle in the opposite direction…" She said. Sasuke nodded, understanding.

"I'll have to practice that…" He said thoughtfully. Sakura giggled, proud and elated that she carried information the Great Uchiha Sasuke desired.

"Oh my, that was an endearing giggle." Sakura looked up to see Iruka and Naruto walking back to join them. Naruto looked like he was sulking, still rubbing the back of his head. "I hope we're not interrupting anything Sakura-Chan." Iruka went on, teasing. Sakura blushed hotly, and hoped that it wouldn't show through Iruka's Jutsu.

"Nothing at all." Sasuke said boredly, noting the irked look on Naruto's face. "We were just discussing math." He added, watching Naruto blanch slightly at the thought of something _school_ related when they'd long since graduated. Sasuke withheld a satisfied smirk.

"Has anyone seen Kakashi-Sensei yet?" Iruka asked, flopping down onto the grass almost in unison with Naruto. Tomodachi came up and circled once before sprawling out between them.

"Nope." Sakura said, her irritation seeping into her voice. "He probably ditched us just to see how long we'd keep trying to kill ourselves without him here to crack the whip…" She added. Sasuke snorted softly.

"He's probably afraid he'd have to spar with Iruka-Sensei again." He said. Iruka blushed just slightly, sparking extra interest in Sasuke. "Care to explain why you keep trying to kill our sensei?" He added, just to see what sort of reaction he'd get. Iruka blushed harder, and opened his mouth to answer, but the words never got out.

"Aahaha…! Iruka-Sensei doesn't scare _me_!" Kakashi's obnoxious laugh and singsong voice floated down to them like a shower of kunai from the tree above them. The three students plus Iruka all turned their faces upwards to shoot Kakashi a glare, though Iruka's was slightly off center, suggesting he wasn't bothered enough to actually pinpoint Kakashi's location. He was secretly glad for the interruption to Sasuke's strange and sudden interrogation. Kakashi sauntered down the tree trunk, his hidden carefree grin showing in his one good eye in the form of a gleeful arch.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!" Sakura and Naruto both had leapt to their feet, pointing accusingly at Kakashi, who continued to both grin, and take his time coming down out of the tree.

"Maa…I brought you something!" He said, beaming cheekily. He spread out his arms, which until now had been full of what looked like lumpy folds of fabric, and let their contents fall to the ground at their feet. There was a dull thud, and the objects settled into their own little crevices as they connected with the soft grass.

"Eh!" Naruto yelled, jumping back slightly. "What the hell is that!" Kakashi absolutely glowed.

"Something to help you all in your training!" He chirped. It had been a while since he'd had the chance to thoroughly torture his students, and now he was going to milk every second of it. Sasuke stepped foreword, lifting one of the items from the ground.

"Training weights." He said flatly, eyeing the weighted strap with deep suspicion. He hoped Kakashi hadn't borrowed these from Gai-Sensei…

"Precisely Sasuke-kun!" Kakashi chimed. "I know that Iruka-Sensei is quite intent on increasing his strength and endurance. The mark of a good shinobi." The poorly veiled compliment towards Iruka was not lost on any of them. "So!" Kakashi went on as he was still

met with silence. "If Iruka-Sensei suffers, we all suffer! Grab yourself a set and get back to work!" Iruka's eyebrows had gone up, a look of surprise clearly etched into his features. Kakashi thought he looked utterly adorable that way, but was careful to keep the sentiment to himself.

"How…thoughtful of you." Iruka said, trying to make it sound like sarcasm, but failing terribly. He wondered darkly if Kakashi was up to something.

"Anything to further torture my students!" Kakashi said brightly. Iruka snorted, shaking his head in exasperation as he fastened weights around his ankles and wrists.

_Not up to anything out of the ordinary then… _He climbed back to his feet, gasping. These were much heavier than any training weights he'd ever encountered. All around him, Kakashi's students were discovering exactly the same.

"EEH!" Naruto's outraged scream startled birds out of the trees overhead. "Kakashi-no-teme! Where the hell are YOURS!" Iruka spun around, sparing the extra chakara to observe Kakashi's figure in detail. Indeed, nothing had been altered, unlike himself, Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto. Kakashi laughed.

"Why, I'm loaning mine to Iruka-Sensei, of course!" There was a scream and thundering footfalls rushing past Iruka, and he laughed as Naruto attempted to tackle Kakashi. Slowed considerably by the oversized weights, the blond missed, of course, but he did not give up there. Training quickly resumed.

---------

Iruka staggered back through his house, dirty, sweaty, cold, and utterly exhausted. They had gone well past dark, alternating between sparring contests, and a fierce regimen of exercises, all led by Kakashi.

Iruka's arms felt like they would fall off at any moment. He had done three hundred pushups, all with the weights on, and one hundred of them with Sakura sitting on his back.

His legs felt like they were made of gelatin. He had lost count of the number of squats, lunges and leg lifts Kakashi had led them all through, again weighted. They had only stopped when Naruto started screaming so loudly that Kakashi's count of "Up…down… up-" had been drowned out. Iruka hadn't eaten since that morning, but he now felt ill as if he might throw up. They had only stopped when they did because he had actually passed out in the middle of a sparring match with Sasuke.

Kakashi had ended their day immediately, admonishing Iruka for not having said something sooner, but Kakashi had been right when he'd said earlier that Iruka was determined to get stronger. Iruka was not going to let the Jounin baby him any more, especially since he seemed to get far too much pleasure from it, in Iruka's opinion. Kakashi had practically chased Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura off, dragging Iruka home as soon as his equilibrium had returned enough so that he could stand.

Iruka had recovered from his fainting fit on the way home, but felt ill and shaky again, his head swimming, and now he wanted to get to his bed as quickly as possible, in case he passed out once more. Kakashi was hot on his heels, worrying quietly to himself.

"I'm fine…" Iruka croaked, though it would be clear to anyone just from his voice that he was not. "I just need to rest up a little…" And lie down before he puked.

"Yeah…okay…" Kakashi said distractedly. It was clear he was upset with himself, but Iruka didn't really feel all that sorry for him. Iruka wasn't some fragile little china doll that would break at any second! Kakashi should learn to have a little more faith in Iruka. Iruka frowned, his irritation with the man slowly growing. "I'll cook dinner then…" Kakashi said, interrupting Iruka's train of thought. "While you nap. Any requests?" Some part of Iruka realized Kakashi almost always provided whatever Iruka wanted. Most would have appreciated the special treatment, but it made him feel extra awkward, heightening his already acute awareness of Kakashi's feelings towards him. It made him feel unnecessarily guilty, which was irksome.

"Whatever… just anything. I'm honestly not too interested in food just now…" Iruka said, holding a hand to his stomach. Kakashi opened his bedroom door for him, and led him to his bed.

"We should have stopped for lunch…" Kakashi lamented.

"Yeah, well…it's too late for that now so no point in fretting over it." Iruka said dryly. He tried to ease himself down onto his futon, but his already shaky legs gave way and he tumbled down with a soft grunt. "Oof…" Iruka said.

Kakashi chewed his lip, his jovial attitude from earlier that day having dissolved with Iruka's initial collapse out on the training field. For once he was glad Iruka's chakara had depleted enough so that the other man could not see him at all. He had noticed his concern was irritating Iruka- Kakashi could read Iruka's body language very well by now - but could not school the worry from his face completely, knew it rested in the way his eyes crinkled. He could feel his jaw tighten with every trembling movement Iruka made, and felt himself wince when his ward more fell than climbed into bed. _You need to get a grip…_A voice whispered in Kakashi's head. He wholeheartedly agreed, but that didn't make the chore any easier at the moment.

"Do you want some aspirin?" Kakashi offered, knowing full well that every last muscle in Iruka's body would be sore later. To his surprise, Iruka shook his head.

"If I put anything in my mouth right now, Kakashi, I'm going to puke." He said, voice strained. "I just want to sleep, alright?" Kakashi could hear in Iruka's voice that he was trying hard not to be too testy with him, but the words were sharp anyway. He forced himself not to cringe.

"Alright. Maybe with dinner then." He said. Iruka sighed, already relaxing into sleep, and didn't bother answering. Kakashi turned and left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN:

Wow. Took me long enough, didn't it? . I'm terribly sorry about the long wait. I always take pride in how regular I stay with my postings, but like I said before, the shit's recently hit the fan and I'm still recovering from the first of the year.

Since then, I've started back up with school, and finally landed a job last week. Yatta! I am now officially the new delivery girl for one of our local florists, which my mother used to work for. My boss is super-awesome and I love the job. Up until today, I've been too damned tired to think, though. Honestly, work is easier than anything else I've done in a long time, but it's still tiring to fall into a new scheduel and all that...and while I'm only going to school 2 days a week, each school day is 12 hours long or longer for me, between my classes, and the commute an hour both directions. (yes, I AM insane) ...I'm not even bothering with flight lessons right now, either (no money! lol)... But none of you really care that much about that. I'm just some stranger to all of you, right?

On with the fic!

1: Yes, this chapter was another sort of filler, though there are a few things that will come up later that probably seem pretty damned pointless right now.

2: The boys are giving themselves a break by shutting out their fallings out the day before. You angst too long and you'll die. End of story. Or you'll end up like Sasuke. (evil snigger)

3: You'll be happy to know I have almost the entirity of this fanfic now planned out (for a while I wasn't sure what was going to happen, not in detail anyway) almost up until the very end. There's a bit of a gap in there still, but... Well, you don't have to worry about that yet. Lucky you all, I pretty much KNOW that I can't fit it all into any less than four chapters, and it'll probably more like six or seven, though I can't really know for sure...

4: Without my Author's Notes (which are sometimes nearly as long as the freaking chapter -I'm sorry...sort of. ;) ) This fanfic is now 137 pages long, single spaced, 12 font Times New Roman. Damn.

5: To those of you who haven't noticed yet, go into my bio and click on the link to my WEBPAGE --which isn't really mine, it's my Deviantart account but...well... -- Lots of Naruto fanart to be found (and FFVII stuff if your'e into that) and more and more illustrations based on this fanfic being posted all the time. This fanfic is now officially consuming my mind, kids! I admit I haven't written jack shit in the last month, but I was NOT suffering from writer's block (just depression XD ) ...the result of which found itself realized in my artwork, which somehow has not suffered from my general lack of enthusiasm in life. But, at least for today, I seem to be better, so rest assured that I am already working my ass off on Ch. 18!

6: This won't matter too much, but I've gone back through this fanfic and made a few changes. Sooner or later, I will be replacing chapters. None of the content will change, just wording, grammar etc. It seems that no matter how many times I proof read each chapter, I can still go back later and find something else that needs editing. (shrugs) I think I already said that but it's been a while...Oh well. :)

READ AND REVIEW!

( sorry for the wait! )

MRE


	18. Chapter 18

_**Blind**_

18

Kakashi grunted softly, stretching where he stood in front of the sink. Dinner was quick and easy tonight, because he simply too was worn out to bother with more. Though he was not nearly as exhausted as Iruka who was, as far as he knew, still asleep in his room. Cricking his neck, he discarded his vest and mask, turning then to smile at Tomodachi as the nin dog padded into the kitchen.

"Hey there, 'Dachi…" He said, reaching a hand out to scratch behind auburn ears. Tomodachi's tail thumped on the floor quietly as he sat down at Kakashi's heel, leaning lovingly onto his legs.

"You should check on Iruka-sensei." Tomodachi said quietly. He straightened up when Kakashi's hand withdrew. "He's not breathing normally." The summon added. Kakashi let out a soft whisper of dismay, turning and striding past Tomodachi, hurrying almost soundlessly towards the back room.

Tomodachi sat where he was in front of the kitchen sink, listening. The apartment was almost soundless, except for the quiet click of the cooling stove, the faint ticking of a clock in the front room, and Kakashi, now pushing open the bedroom door as quietly as possible. Tomodachi, even with his exceptionally sharp hearing, had to hold his breath to listen.

---------

Kakashi crept up to listen at Iruka's door, not wanting to disturb the ex-sensei without good reason. It didn't take long for a strained gasp to float up to his ears, followed by another, then a long pause, and then a softer sound. Frowning, his concern growing, Kakashi pushed the door open finally and poked his head into the room.

Iruka lay facing Kakashi, curled into a tight ball, trembling. His hitai-ate had been cast aside, though neatly so, folded on the floor beside Iruka's futon. Iruka's exposed eyes were clamped shut tightly enough that the skin around them was loosing blood, turning pale. Iruka's breathing was shallow, cutting raggedly from between clenched teeth. The backs of Iruka's hands were also pale from the force of which he gripped the blanket wrapped tightly around his body.

"…Iruka?" Kakashi asked softly, stepping in. He hadn't expected Iruka to hear him, had thought maybe he was asleep and dreaming something terrible, but received a surprise when Iruka jumped slightly, lifting his face in Kakashi's direction.

"What?" Iruka said through clenched teeth. He sounded exhausted.

"Dachi said you weren't breathing right, I came to check on you…" Kakashi said, quickly crossing the space between the door and Iruka's bed. "What's going on…" He added, voice softening even more. Iruka scrunched up his eyes some more, even as he forced his jaw and fists to unclench. He let out a long, shuddering breath.

"I'm _sore_." He sighed. The corners of Kakashi's eyebrows pitched upwards and he began to chew at the inside of his lip again.

"Can't move?" He asked, crouching down near Iruka's shoulder.

"It hurts to _breathe…_" Iruka gasped. Kakashi made a pained sound of sympathy. "I…didn't know it was going to hurt like this… I've never…" Iruka went on, struggling to straighten out his body.

"Shh…I know…this used to happen to me all the time…" Kakashi said softly. "That's all I did as a kid, you know. Train…" He went on. "Here, sit up…" He added. Iruka struggled to sit up, gasping as he used trembling arms to brace himself into an upright position. He winced.

"Why…" Iruka gasped again. He flinched when Kakashi placed a palm to his back to support him. "Kakashi…" He warned.

"I would train myself through the ground like this on a weekly basis…I never learned…" Kakashi gave a small, sad laugh. "I'd crawl home, and stay there, in too much pain to stay still, or to move, or even sleep…And nobody would be the wiser until I didn't show up for training with the rest of my team the next day. Where is it the worst, Iruka?" Iruka shook his head.

"Everywhere…"

"Okay… Eventually," Kakashi went on, gently clasping Iruka's left wrist in both hands, lifting his arm. Iruka twitched at the warm, weirdly gentle touch. "Eventually Sensei caught on…Take a deep breath…deeper…" He pushed against Iruka's lower back, forcing him to sit up straighter, allowing more air to enter his lungs. He held Iruka's shoulder, and gently straightened the arm he still held in one hand, and pulled it backwards just very slightly. "Tell me if it hurts. You shouldn't actually notice much." Kakashi instructed. Iruka nodded, and Kakashi went on talking in hushed tones. "He would come and find me, every time." He turned Iruka's wrist over so his palm faced upwards, and pulled a little more. Iruka could feel Kakashi pushing a small amount of chakara in through his wrist, up his arm. "He never told anyone about it - I was too proud…I guess he knew that far better than I did… Take another deep breath, and let it out as slow as you can." Iruka obeyed silently, still tense, but definitely aware of the pain slowly easing out of his forearm. As he let out a long, low breath, Kakashi pulled his arm straight out, stretching it lengthwise. His elbow popped, startling him, but Kakashi just gave a low chuckle. Iruka relaxed when he realized it hadn't hurt, but actually felt quite good. "I bet that'll help…" Kakashi said, his quiet voice taking on a bemused tone for a moment. "Okay…" He went on, readjusting Iruka's arm again, still stretching it ever so gently, but holding it. Iruka could barely feel the stretch, except for the diminishing pain. Kakashi supported him so that no extra strain was put out, and he was gradually working his way inwards towards Iruka's shoulder, twisting and turning his wrist, fingers, and sometimes whole arm in such simple ways he would have never imagined they would do him any good. Kakashi's hand slid down off his wrist to clasp his hand, palm to palm, and Iruka stiffened.

"I'm sorry…" Kakashi breathed. "I won't try anything, I promise. I know I'm making you uncomfortable," he said, making Iruka frown.

"Then don't--"

"But this _will_ help, I promise. This is how I was taught, and maybe someday you'll be able to help someone too. Please, try and relax." Kakashi pleaded. He still held Iruka's hand, which was tense all the way up into his wrist, and further. Kakashi worried he would have to start over, which certainly wouldn't make Iruka any happier. "Please," Kakashi said again. "I wish as much as you do that I was somebody else, someone you felt you could trust better, but I'm not…" His voice had cracked, making Iruka cringe almost imperceptibly. "I can keep talking, or I can shut up and you can let your mind go somewhere else…just try and relax to your fullest, okay?" Kakashi's voice had dropped a half octave in compassion, and spilt over Iruka like warm water. He felt very much compelled to trust Kakashi as the man requested, but could he really do that?

"I don't think I want--" Iruka began again, startled by how jaded his own voice sounded in the near total silence of the world around him. He was well beyond the capability of using his Sight Jutsu. This made it even harder for Iruka to accept Kakashi's hands on him.

"I _know…_" Kakashi said, almost moaning the words. "I know…" He was quiet for a moment, and lowered Iruka's arm. Iruka's palm felt cold where Kakashi had released his grip on his hand. Kakashi continued to hold him up with his left hand, the heat of it pressing soothingly into a knotted muscle behind Iruka's right shoulder blade.

"I… I won't ask you to forgive me." Kakashi said. "There's no reason to…" He let out a breath. Iruka felt the muscles in his arm going cold, and he hugged himself firmly to try and keep warm. The warmth of that day had vanished into a chilly night. "You probably already know what I'm going to say, but… Well, maybe this makes me a shitty ninja, but seeing you like this…" Kakashi almost gestured, but held back, realizing that Iruka would not see it. "It hurts, somehow. I just want to help…" Iruka opened his mouth to respond, and Kakashi added quickly, "And I don't think I'm doing a very good job of that either…" Iruka shut his mouth again, lowering his head slightly in thought.

"…This really used to happen to you?" He asked.

"All the time." A pause. "I didn't want help either, but Sensei had some excellent persuasive skills…that or he just ignored my grousing until I settled down…I was eleven when it started happening, and I didn't get wise for almost two whole years…Some genius, huh?" Kakashi gave a small, hollow laugh.

"…I was never that motivated." Iruka said softly.

"Which is probably a good thing. How would you like to feel like this on a regular basis?" Kakashi said. Iruka gave a snort of disbelief, and fell thoughtfully silent again. Kakashi waited.

"Help me then…" Iruka said at last. He raised his arm and tried not to twitch as Kakashi's hand gently folded around his again.

"Okay… Don't let me hurt you…" Kakashi said. His thumb was massaging circles into Iruka's palm. It felt weird, but it was also making his whole hand tingle warmly and go limp. "You're pretty badly knotted up…If anything hurts past the barest stretch tell me immediately. I won't be helping you if this is rushed." Iruka nodded. A few minutes passed in silence, one thought chasing itself around in Iruka's head until he finally gave voice to it.

"You must have been pretty thick…"

"That's what I was told, yes." Kakashi said. "To turn down…" He cut off, started over. "I was a spoiled brat. My Sensei spoiled me way too much. I took him for granted…" He bent Iruka's arm at the elbow and raised it up so his wrist was behind his head, elbow pointed at the ceiling. "Keep breathing deep. Focus on relaxing those muscles completely." Iruka nodded, and Kakashi let out a silent sigh of relief as he felt Iruka finally relax properly. Finishing with Iruka's right arm, he quickly leapt over to his other side, lifting Iruka's left arm and going through the same deceptively slow stretches.

"You can do all of this yourself," Kakashi said after a while, "But it's easier to have someone do it for you…You don't have to go through all the work of holding your own arm up while you're at it." Iruka's left hand trembled slightly in his. "Are you sore or am I making you nervous?" Kakashi asked loosening his already feather light grip for a moment.

"Sore." Iruka said. "You're okay…" He added in a whisper. The quietness of the house was growing, and both felt loathe to break it.

"I have to get a little more personal for a moment," Kakashi warned, lowering Iruka's arm gently and crawling behind him. He laced both arms under Iruka's, and lifted them over Iruka's head. Iruka allowed himself to be manipulated in silence. "Arch your back a little….good…" Kakashi lifted upwards. "Now straighten your legs in front of you and lean foreword." Iruka complied again. Kakashi placed both palms on his shoulders and pressed foreword slightly. Iruka gasped a little as the tension in his legs came up sharply, making the backs of his legs burn.

"Aah…" He pressed back against Kakashi, recoiling. "Too much…"

"Okay." Kakashi moved away from him, and Iruka listened to the few footfalls it took for Kakashi to circle around to the foot of the futon. "Let's try this instead." He lifted Iruka's heel, letting his leg bend at the knee. "Are your legs worse than your arms, you think?" He asked. Iruka nodded. "Okay. Just relax, this is going to take a while…"

Iruka stopped paying close attention to what Kakashi was doing, sometime about when he had finished with one leg and gone on to the other. He had fallen into the rhythm of slow, steady breathing that Kakashi had instructed him into, and followed the whispered instructions automatically. His mind wanted to wander at first, but Iruka had fallen into a meditative state, and things were blissfully calm within his mind. He had long given up mistrusting Kakashi, at least for now, though Iruka only begrudgingly admitted this to himself. It was hard to ignore, however, how much Kakashi's careful exercises were helping him. He could almost breathe normally now, though he wasn't sure how Kakashi was going to manage his sore abdomen and back. The unusually subdued Jounin was currently pulling gently on Iruka's leg, out and slightly upward, pulling everything from Iruka's hips down into traction. He let out a sigh as something in his ankle popped, a flood of water-like relief going through his foot and up his shin.

Kakashi's hands had gotten progressively warmer as his focus continued to grow, and Iruka felt wonderfully warm wherever he was touched. He tried not to think of this too much, because on the occasions when he did, he began to dread the time when Kakashi would inevitably finish with him. That wasn't so bad in itself, so much as the notion that Iruka had at some point decided Kakashi's hands on him was _good_.

_This is different though…_ He told himself. He had never been touched so absolutely gently in his life, not even by his mother when he was a small boy.

While he told himself he didn't want to, Iruka could feel the love in every one of Kakashi's fingertips, pouring into him. It made his chest ache in a way that even a Jounin trained by the Yondaime Hokage himself couldn't sooth by exercises alone.

"Lay down and roll onto your stomach." Kakashi said, interrupting Iruka's thoughts. One of Kakashi's chakara warmed hands rested on his shoulder, gently pushing him in that direction.

"What?" Iruka asked, tension again edging into his voice.

"Don't worry." Kakashi breathed. "We have a ways to go still." He knew better than to tell Iruka to 'relax' or 'trust me'. Iruka slowly complied, though he felt rather nervous now. Kakashi lifted one of his ankles again, pressing his foot backwards towards his backside. The aching muscle in his left thigh shivered then began to stretch out achingly. Iruka began to relax again. "Better…?" Kakashi asked. Iruka nodded, face buried into his pillow.

Some time later, Iruka still lay on his face, staring off into his black world feeling thoroughly relieved. He could hardly imagine now the pain he'd been in an hour earlier, and was not willing to dredge up those memories again any time soon. Kakashi ran a hand over his shoulder, bringing Iruka back out of his revere.

"Come on, let's have dinner, and then if you want, I can fine tune a few of those sore spots for you…" Kakashi said his voice warm even though he was still almost whispering. "Are you hungry?" He asked, sitting back and watching carefully as Iruka shakily climbed to his hands and knees, then sat up.

"Yeah… I am now…" Iruka said breathily. "I feel so weak…" He added, shivering. Kakashi pulled a blanket from the foot of the futon and handed it to Iruka.

"Keep warm, it'll help. You'll feel stronger after you eat. I'm going to make sure we have a lunch tomorrow, too…" Kakashi said responsibly. Iruka gave a soft, voiceless laugh.

"You're worse than my mother." He commented wryly, swaying to his feet. Kakashi had a hand on his elbow, but he didn't shake the man off for once. He realized as his head spun airily that he might actually need the support.

---------

Naruto shifted anxiously, prodding at his bowl of ramen worriedly. He, Sakura and Sasuke were seated at the Ichiraku ramen bar, dirty, sore and utterly exhausted from their day, and attempting a slight refuel.

"Just eat it Naruto!" Sakura snapped. It had been her treat, and if she was going to buy Naruto four bowls of ramen, she expected him to _eat all of it_! Naruto turned to her, muddied face pale with worry.

"I'm sorry Sakura-Chan!" Naruto moaned. "I'm just worried about Iruka-Sensei!"

"That's no reason not to eat, Naruto." Sasuke said sternly from the other side of Sakura, who sat between the two boys.

"I know…" Naruto said sullenly, prodding at the ramen again.

"We're worried too, Naruto. But you can't starve yourself!" Sakura said, trying to battle her rising anger. Naruto's concern was, after all, rather sweet. Naruto nodded, and quickly downed the bowl's entire contents. He didn't order another, like he may normally have. The image of Iruka shuddering and suddenly collapsing into a heap at an alarmed Sasuke's feet was seemingly emblazoned into his mind, playing on repeat behind his eyes. At first, he had thought Sasuke had done something to knock his precious Sensei out, and then, when he realized Sasuke was as stunned as anyone, wondered if maybe Iruka-Sensei had blown his chakara supply again. Except, like normal, Iruka hadn't immediately sat up again, yelling to Kakashi, who was by now at his side, that he was fine. Even Kakashi's not quite screamed oath hadn't been much of a surprise. It was only when Sakura had gone running up to the two men and let out a startled cry did burning panic settle itself firmly into Naruto's stomach.

"He'll be fine." Sasuke said, reading the expression on Naruto's face as he finished his own meal. Generally, he preferred something healthier than ramen for dinner, but had decided to humor his teammates tonight. Besides, there was nothing worse, even for an Uchiha, than eating alone. Naruto lifted his head from where he'd been resting it on his arms to glance at Sasuke, frowning thinly. Sakura was nodding in agreement.

"He just wore himself out to the point of fainting…I don't think any of us realized he was that tired…" Sakura said. Naruto blew out a breath, ruffling the forgotten paper wrapper to his disposable chopsticks.

"Kakashi-Sensei will take good care of him." Sasuke said suddenly. Naruto lifted his head again, staring weirdly at Sasuke. Sasuke sighed as if he was irritated about having to explain something terribly simple. "It's pathetic, but that idiot is hopelessly love sick. He'll do everything in his power to make sure Iruka-Sensei is alright. The trick will be getting Iruka-Sensei to _let_ him." For reasons Naruto couldn't fully understand, Sakura gave a small, delighted squeal, and Sasuke rolled his dark eyes in poorly faked exasperation. Only partially consoled, Naruto nodded.

"So you think Kakashi-Sensei actually stands a chance?" He asked after a few strained moments of thoughtful silence. Sasuke snorted.

"Probably not. But I've got an idea that might help tip the scales in his favor. I just need to work on a few things first." He said cryptically. Naruto gave him a bright, but deeply confused look.

"Really?" He demanded. Sasuke simply sat back on his stool, leaning on the wall, and crossed his arms over his chest, smirking.

"Hn."

---------

Tomodachi had sprawled out under the table, lying on top of Iruka's feet through the entirety of dinner. He was slightly unnerved by the shared silence between the younger sensei and his master. Furthermore, he sensed a strange energy buzzing deeply suppressed within Kakashi that he could not understand. He was quite used to, by now, the strangely passive attitude Kakashi took up when he was around Iruka, but the other…?

"Iruka-Sensei, is everything alright?" He asked, sometime after Kakashi had finished cleaning up. Iruka had remained seated at the table, leaning back heavily in his seat. The sloppy way in which Iruka sat sprawled in his seat was also unusual.

"Some idiot Jounin let poor Iruka-Sensei work himself nearly to death today." Kakashi said in response. Iruka let out a tired chuckle, reaching out to scratch at Tomodachi's flanks with one hand. The nin dog was surprised at how strongly Kakashi's scent clung to Iruka.

"I'm fine, Dachi…" Iruka said sleepily, then added more clearly. "I am feeling better now, though." The final soft clinks of dishes being replaced to their proper homes paused for a moment as Kakashi turned back to look at the over worn man resting at the table.

"That's good. You had me worried there, you know."

"I know…you shouldn't worry so much though. I'm not made of rice paper." Iruka said gently. He was too tired, he thought, to bother being irritated with Kakashi.

"I know you're not… I know…" Kakashi said softly. "…If you were, you wouldn't have even bothered with all that work today. Really, you should be proud of yourself, even if you did give myself, and my students, one hell of a scare." He added more confidently.

"I've never seen poor Naruto-kun go so pale before." Tomodachi added. He had been there, of course, when Iruka had collapsed. The knowledge only compounded his current concern.

"Hmm…They say that it's impossible to scare the Great Copy Nin." Iruka commented wryly. Kakashi turned and stared at Iruka for a moment, wide eyed.

_Is he teasing me!_ As he watched, Iruka's lips stretched into a smirk. Kakashi laughed.

"Yeah, well, you're special." He said honestly. Iruka's smirk vanished, but to Kakashi's relief, he didn't frown or scowl at him. At Iruka's side, Tomodachi perked his ears curiously at Kakashi's bold honesty.

"Right well, special or not, I'm still exhausted…" Iruka lurched gracelessly to his feet, swaying. "Time for bed." Tomodachi hurried out of his way as he headed for the hallway, Kakashi following quietly.

---------

Iruka wasn't even going to bother undressing himself, and simply flopped onto his futon with a tired groan. Only when he'd settled down slightly, yanking out his hair tie at last, did he realize he could sense Kakashi's presence lingering in the doorway.

"Kakashi?"

"How are you feeling?" Kakashi asked. Iruka shifted, stretching. He winced.

"Oh, I imagine I'll be hurting for quite a while…but at least I can breathe now…" He said. He listened as Kakashi stepped into the room, shutting the door softly behind him. The sound of the wooden door brushing over his plush carpet seemed exceptionally loud against the subdued voices in which he and Kakashi had been speaking the whole evening. A floorboard creaked as Kakashi crossed the room, kneeling within a foot from Iruka's shoulder. Kakashi touched Iruka's hand tentatively- Iruka could tell because only two fingertips brushed themselves feather light over one of his knuckles. It tickled and he moved his hand. "Yes?"

"I can do better than this." Kakashi said. "Roll over…" Again, Iruka felt something he figured was suspicion flutter in his stomach, but he consented, rolling over onto his belly with just a little too much trouble. Kakashi sat on his heels, quiet for a long moment. "I can understand if you don't want to," He began, making Iruka frown. "but it would be easier if you took your shirt off." Iruka pushed himself up on his elbows, opening his mouth. "Or not! It's fine…" Kakashi said quickly. He felt like an idiot. He wanted to tell Iruka something like 'I'll be good!' but knew that would probably only anger Iruka more.

Iruka blew out a heated breath, mildly annoyed. Pushing himself up further, he grunted as he finally managed himself back into a sitting position. He wanted to accuse Kakashi of being a lecher, and a sneak and a liar, but somehow he couldn't push away the knowledge that he was being none of the above at the moment. One of Iruka's most prized gifts was an intuition towards people. He could tell when someone was lying or telling the truth, could tell if they had or hadn't something to hide. He didn't need his eyesight to know that Kakashi was being heart wrenchingly sincere - Iruka had a sixth sense towards this sort of thing, and he trusted his feelings, despite his best efforts not to.

"I wish," He said tiredly as he yanked off his shirt as quickly and unceremoniously as possible, "that you would have said that before I got comfortable." He heard Kakashi take a breath to speak. "Don't apologize, either." He added sternly. Kakashi shifted uncomfortably, and said nothing. "I hurt…a lot. And if you can help me…" Iruka sighed, crawling out into a sprawled position again. "Well, I'd be an idiot to turn that down. I know you're sincere. Just…please, stay that way. I don't want to deal with anything else today…" His own voice sounded hollow with exhaustion, to the point where it had dropped in pitch and was beginning to rattle hoarsely.

"Yeah…" Kakashi agreed. "Yeah. We won't go there." Iruka relaxed fully, and Kakashi pushed up his sleeves past his elbows. He crawled over the futon to kneel close enough to Iruka that one knee touched his side, and very carefully put both hands flat against the middle of Iruka's back. The skin there jumped under Kakashi's hands, and he hesitated.

"I'm okay." Iruka said helpfully. _So frightened…_He thought, noting the energies that radiated from Kakashi, now exceptionally close. Whatever nervousness Iruka felt at putting himself into this sort of vulnerable position, Kakashi felt it many times over. Iruka bit his lip as Kakashi kept his hands still for a moment, letting a little extra chakara flow out of his palms into Iruka's back. Iruka felt suddenly guilty again.

Kakashi's hands ghosted in circles over his shoulders, gently warming the skin there.

Iruka was reminded again how cruel he'd been to Kakashi. True, Kakashi had pushed the limits with him…but only once… and how many times just today -one of their_ better_ days- had Iruka snapped at his companion? These were the same old worries from the day before, and the preceding week, all locked in Iruka's mind. The deeper he tried to bury them, it seemed, the more loudly they clamored for attention.

Kakashi's thumbs suddenly pressed rather firmly into the thick muscle behind either shoulder blade, making Iruka gasp.

"Sorry…too hard?" Kakashi asked, immediately releasing some of the pressure on those key points.

"No. Was just sudden." Iruka said distractedly. Kakashi continued to work at those same two points in either hand more gently for a moment before reapplying firmer pressure. The muscles burned for a moment before fading away to a softer warmth.

Iruka buried his face into the pillow he was resting his head on. How could Kakashi possibly care for him at all when he was such an asshole?

The points where Kakashi's hands had just been tingled warmly, and Iruka felt the tingle spread up his spine into his neck in a ticklish sort of way. The feeling left him feeling uneasy but mildly elated. He suppressed a shiver, relaxing deeper still, almost partially asleep.

"Kakashi…" Iruka said, voice cracking slightly. The motion of Kakashi's palms over Iruka's back stilled for a moment, signaling that he was listening. "I'm…sorry…" Iruka said finally. He was hoping that apologizing to Kakashi would release some of the pressure building steadily in his chest, but if anything, it sounded so utterly lame in the darkness and the silence that surrounded him that it only made him feel worse. Kakashi paused again, before redoubling his efforts, making Iruka melt.

"For what?" Kakashi asked, almost cheerfully though he was still whispering. Iruka grit his teeth, holding his breath. Why was _he_ hurting so much for another man's sake? Kakashi placed a palm at the base of Iruka's neck, pushing a steady flow of chakara straight into his spine. Iruka felt his body tingle and his head seem to swell fuzzily. He let out a shuddering breath. He couldn't answer Kakashi, not in the state he was currently in. Warmth coursed through his back and chest, pushing the ache away. Now it was only in Iruka's throat and soon that was thawed away as well.

_He knows how to heal this kind of pain too?_ Iruka thought hazily. Kakashi's other hand came down to center on his lower back, chakara flooding down into his belly, hips and legs. Iruka's breathing slowed with his pulse as the extra warmth backed up into his arms, straight down to his fingertips. He still wanted to answer Kakashi, but he couldn't bring himself to even open his eyes, as if that would have done him any good anyway. He sank into the soft futon he lay on, and finally fell asleep.

Kakashi felt it quite distinctly as Iruka finally fell asleep under his hands, the Chuunin's chakara rippling serenely. He let his hands linger a moment, pulling back slowly before finally sitting back on his heels to look at the man through the shadows. Iruka was sleeping soundly, his face calm and full with a slight upward quirk to his lips. Kakashi let out a low sigh and carefully stepped off the mattress he'd been kneeling on for nearly an hour, pulling the discarded blanket back over the sleeping figure before him. He watched Iruka a little longer before bending down and kissing his temple softly then turned and crept out.

Behind him, there was an almost invisible flash of silver as Iruka opened his useless eyes for a moment before closing them again. Smiling sadly, he went back to sleep.

---------

When Iruka opened his eyes again, he saw white. Grunting and sitting up slowly, Iruka took a moment to gather himself. He hated waking up now. He used to be a morning person, and in a way, he still was. However, there were many things about his first few seconds of the morning which he'd come to loathe.

First and foremost was how he seemed to automatically open his eyes whether he could see or not. He could make out the morning sunlight against his raw optic nerves, and it hurt. He always promptly clamped his eyes shut again. Furthermore, he always still dreamed in color. He could still _see_ in his dreams. A mixed blessing.

_At least I get something…_ he mused, as he did every morning. Stretching, he reached out with his mind, searching the house. As he suspected, Tomodachi was curled under the kitchen table. Iruka smiled warmly. The summon was cleaner than some humans, and Iruka had given him full reign of his house, and yet Tomodachi had found himself most comfortable on the cool, hard kitchen floor, under the table. Stretching further, Iruka found himself mildly surprised to find Kakashi still sprawled across his couch. It was rare for Iruka to awake before Kakashi, who was usually already well into cooking breakfast by the time he came around. Memories of the evening before came flooding back to Iruka unexpectedly, and he gasped, actually clutching at his chest slightly. Even as his throat closed off in frozen ache, his chest felt warm, his stomach fluttering slightly. He sat very still, waiting for the cacophony of sensations to fade.

Eventually, they did, and Iruka shuffled his way out of bed, stretching again. A few odd muscles throughout his body ached slightly, but he had to credit Kakashi for how little he hut this morning. Iruka snorted softly to himself as he trod carefully towards his dresser, actually bumping into it slightly before patting its face and finding the second drawer. He found a clean pair of pants, kicking off the pair he'd inadvertently slept in and exchanging them for the new ones. He went up a drawer and found a shirt, yanking it over his head. Frowning, Iruka yanked it straight off again, turned it around, and put it back on _not_ backwards. After a little bit of searching, he found his blanket in a heap a the foot of his bed, and wrapping it around himself, Iruka wandered out to the kitchen. He heard Tomodachi lift his head from under the table and stand, and shot a smile towards the nin dog.

"You're up early." Tomodachi commented. Iruka's smile returned to stay.

"Yeah… I guess because I got in so many naps yesterday." He said. He counted paces to where he knew the refrigerator was, opening it and patting around carefully for the milk container. He opened it, sniffing. Still good. "Tell me, Dachi, is the cereal where it should be?"

"No, it's still on the counter by the stove. Kakashi had a bowl before he went to sleep last night." Tomodachi said. Iruka frowned.

"Before bed?"

"He was up for quite a while. And I think he was too worried about you last night to eat very much at supper." Tomodachi informed. Iruka sighed. Damn Kakashi and his concern making him feel all warm and fuzzy, and more pointedly, guilty. He worked his way over to the stove, found where the cereal was by accidentally knocking the box over-he was suddenly thankful that Kakashi had sealed it up properly as it didn't spill, and then managed to find himself a bowl and spoon. It took longer than Iruka would have liked, but he was rather proud of himself all the same.

_Maybe I can get back to a normal life soon…_ Seated at the table with his breakfast, Iruka paused to scratch Tomodachi's nose when the large dog came to sit beside him loyally.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: (Is shot) I'M SORRRRYYY!

I. SUCK. end of story. Damned if I haven't been the laziest writer there's ever been.

I blame real life, and Harry Potter. Been listening to the Half Blood Prince on audio disk with my parents (I've already read the book once) and it's terribly distracting to listen to one book when you're writing another, lol. Between that, school, work, and eating and drinking I've been pretty distracted. Though not entirely. I've been in more of an art groove than a writing one, and so if you go to my devart page, you'll see a freaking million new things, and then you'll understand where the hell I've been. I am guilty. I lament.

Meanwhile, I'm presenting Capter 1, and the first paragraph of chapter 2 to my Creative Writing class on Wednesday, and while I feel damned confident about my own writing skills...they're just reviewing it after all, I've still got the fucking butterflies. My purpose is to see how well this floats with a bunch of people who've never heard of Anime, let alone Naruto. I had to write up a seperate character sheet to explain Iruka, Kakashi, Tsunade and Naruto (nobody else is involved in that first 8-9 pages so I didn't bother with the whole cast, lol) ... and then make thirty copies of that and the first chapter. Damn my stupid english teacher for making us double space everything... between the thirty color copied character sheets, and the First chapter, now 15 pages long double spaced, it cost me almost $60 to have it all done. I now have less than twenty dollars to my name. XD I am officially a starving artist! Yosh! ----,

To the story!  
1) Kakashi's sort of given up. At this point, he figures Iruka hates his fucking guts so much that he'll never stand a chance. He's now just trying to mend what he can by being a good friend...or something. He just wants to be able to help Iruka as much as possible. Poor baby.

2) Iruka...hehe... He's in denial. XD He's given up too, but in a different way. He just doesn't want to bother with this mess anymore. He thinks he doesn't want to put up with Kakashi, either, but now he's busy second guessing himself.

3) Yes, this is sort of another filler chapter, though a rather important one. Things will start moving again rather rapidly in the next chapter or two, methinks. I can't be certian. For now, we have a bit of a reprieve. Also, I think it's a little bit shorter than the last, but I could be wrong... O.o

4) This song has been in my head ever since I started writing this chapter. It's called "Soon" By YES. All rights belong to them, of course, but I thought I'd throw the lyrics out there for everybody. Really pretty song if you don't know it. worth looking into. :)

Soon, oh soon the light

pass within and sooth this endless night

and wait here for you,

our reason to be here...

Soon, oh soon the time

all we move to gain will reach and calm

our heart is open,

our reason to be here

long ago

set into rhyme

Soon, oh soon the light

ours to shape for all time

ours the right

the sun will lead us

our reason to be here

R&R people!   
MRE


	19. Chapter 19

_**Blind**_

19

_"Aaa…K-Kakashi…" Kakashi gasped, the strained voice moaning his name doing more for him than even the luscious slide of skin on heated skin, and he felt his loins jump. He let his eyes flutter shut as he nuzzled a smooth neck and chest, well-tanned skin taut and too-warm. He let out his tongue, tasting, and smiled further at the gasp he elicited. Iruka writhed under him, body trembling. Strong fingers dug into his shoulders, silently urging him, begging…_

_"Kashi…p-please…" The body under him arched and Kakashi let out a low, lusty groan_…

Both eyes snapped open as Kakashi sat up with a gasp, returning all too abruptly to Iruka's front-room couch. He swallowed dryly, trying to slow his breath.

_Whoa…_ He rubbed his face slowly with both hands, swallowing another groan. The muscles in his back and thighs were burning just slightly, hinting that he'd been tensed up in his sleep. _And with good reason…shit…_ It had been a long time since he had succumbed to wet dreams…Kakashi sincerely thought he had grown out of them. And of Iruka, now…of all times… He buried his face in his hands for a long moment, willing the tightness in his belly to dissipate. As the warmth faded he finally noticed the sounds of human movement in the kitchen and hoped dearly that Iruka hadn't heard anything. Kakashi didn't know if he ever spoke in his sleep, but this was not the moment he wanted to find out.. Sitting up carefully, he took a few extra deep breaths before rising and dressing for another day.

Kakashi found Iruka already in the kitchen, happily munching on his second bowl of cereal. The Jounin blinked dumbly, more surprised than he should have been. Iruka, who had heard his approach, and then sudden stop in the doorway, lifted his head in Kakashi's direction, waiting.

"Er…" Kakashi was still perhaps half asleep. He hadn't slept well the night before, haunted by the utterly precious moments of peace he'd shared with Iruka after dinner. He had re-lived the full hour several times in his head before finally giving in to sleep. That too may have contributed to the delightfully mortifying dreamt hat had just awoken him.

"Good morning to you too, sunshine." Iruka drawled with a half-laugh. Kakashi swayed on his heels.

"Errh.. Yeah. Good morning. Um…Sorry I didn't--"

"It's okay." Iruka cut him off. Kakashi listened carefully for any signs that Iruka had heard anything incriminating. Fortunately, it didn't seem that he had. "I need to learn to take care of myself anyway…" He trailed off, having almost said that he preferred Kakashi's cooking. He bit his lip. Not going there.

"Oh." Kakashi hadn't honestly thought Iruka's ultimately independent personality would change, but he liked to hope anyway. If Kakashi had his way, he would put Iruka up on a crystal pedestal so high up that nothing bad would ever be tall enough to reach the good-hearted Chuunin. Iruka, maybe sensing this in Kakashi, sighed and lifted the box of cereal, shaking it. It rattled loudly, still quite full.

"Sit down, there's plenty here." Kakashi smiled and finally entered the room.

"Can I make us coffee first?" His smile grew as Iruka's face suddenly brightened.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Uchiha Sasuke stared at the target in front of him, eyes narrowed. All around him, the forest rose up intimidating, a myriad of differently positioned targets nailed to various tree trunks. He had trained at this place since he had been so young that the kunai he now regularly carried were as long as his whole forearm. He frowned, shuffling his feet in the dusty clearing. He stood barefooted, having decided for practicality's sake to dispose of his sandals. It was dirty, and he didn't like it, but he was training, and when one trained, one suffered. He glanced down, bumping a rock out of the dust with his big toe. He smirked, and put his foot over the rock, so that it stuck up into the bottoms of his toes. It wasn't sharp, but it's edges were easily discernable. He curled his toes around it, and then shifted his balance onto his other foot, and lifted the first, rock and all, upwards. He reached down without bending over, and plucked the stone from his curled toes. His smirk grew.

Half of Konoha would shit itself to see the dignified Uchiha heir picking rocks from the dust with his toes. It gave him an obscene amount of pleasure to think so, anyway.

Palming his rock, he stared back at the target, thinking of all that Sakura had told him not too long before.

It was all angles. Sasuke knew angles. He raised his arm, and pitched the rock straight at the target in front of him. The rock flew, actually denting the target slightly, before rebounding with a resounding _CRACK!_

Sasuke let out a startled yelp and ducked as the rock flew straight back at him, hitting a tree behind him and flying off into the bushes. He straightened up, glaring after it. Overhead, a startled flock of birds flew upwards angrily, irked at being disturbed by such nonsense.

Sasuke frowned. Great. His aim was _too_ good. He'd automatically thrown straight at the target, not thinking to try a wider angel first. He stomped through the dust a little, finding another rock with his right foot and picking it up absently, handing it to himself. He tested it's weight, frowned, tossed it aside, and chose another before stepping back to take aim again. He glanced at another target to his right.

That was it. Hit _that_ target by aiming at this one… that was what Sakura did. He stood back, gauging the angles carefully before taking aim and pitching the next rock. Not quite as hard this time, just in case his aim backfired again. The rock struck the first target, ricocheting off towards the second…and flying clean past the tree holding it.

Hmm.

This was harder than he'd anticipated. Not that Sasuke would give up. All it would take was practice. He knew how to practice. He'd done it all his life, practicing himself raw in order to try and keep up with his damned brother…

Sasuke shook his head, forcing those spiraling thoughts back down in the darker corners of his mind, where the belonged. He had to focus. He picked up another rock, and tried again. This time, he hit both targets, and his smirk returned. That was more like it.

---------

Naruto leapt into the air with a scream as Sasuke's pebble collided sharply with his rump, spinning fantastically before landing back on his feet to face his teammate.

"Sasuke! What the hell!" Naruto screamed angrily, rubbing at his stinging posterior sorely. It had been the third time in the last ten minutes, and he'd finally turned quick enough to catch Sasuke before the boy had lowered his arm fully. Beside the dark-haired boy, Sakura had both hands clamped over her mouth in an attempt to stifle her giggling. Sasuke smirked deviously.

"Just practicing." Two weeks had passed since Sasuke had begun practicing his aiming, and he felt like he'd mastered the simple method. He didn't need any more practice, but it was fun to terrorize Naruto.

Naruto's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Whaat!"

"I have a plan." Sasuke went on coolly. This sobered Naruto and reined in Sakura's giggling. Both looked to Sasuke in eager curiosity. "Hn. Today, we train with _these_…" He held out the handful of pebbles he'd been palming for Naruto to see, "Instead of kunai or shruiken." Naruto made an angry face, already _knowing_ where this was going to lead. Sasuke read his expression easily. "Don't look at me like that. For this to work we both have to be idiots." Sasuke's coal black eyes turned their attention on Sakura. "And you need to disappear for a little bit. You'll know when. Your medical skills could be a problem." Sakura balked.

"What are you going to d-"

"Trust me." Sasuke said, his voice strangely disarming. Sakura gave him a long stare, but then shifted her gaze past him to the forms of Kakashi and Iruka approaching.

"They're coming." She whispered. Sasuke smiled.

"Good."

Naruto sighed, that weirdly serious look on his face for a moment.

"Showtime." He murmured then turned, bright-eyed and irate, to scream at his sensei. "YOURE LATE KAKASHI-BASTARD!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, impressed by Naruto's acting skills, and wondered if there might be more to the blond that Naruto let on. Well, if ever there was a day when they would be needing it, it was today.

---------

Sasuke smirked. Kakashi had thought he was being his usual pain-in-the-ass self when he'd told the kids to go stage a mock war among themselves out in an tree-cluttered area with a wide river cutting through it's center, but really he was doing Sasuke a favor.

When the young Uchiha heir had briefed Sakura and Naruto an hour ago, he hadn't had his plan fully developed in his mind. Now, as he watched Kakashi and Iruka square off at the riverbank, all the pieces fell together like clockwork behind a mirror.

All he had to do now was keep up the game with Naruto - Sakura was resting in the shade on the far side of the meadow- and keep Kakashi between himself and Naruto, and Iruka. He circled, chucking another rock at Naruto as he went. Naruto, struck in the heel, let out another angry yell and pivoted in mid-leap to send his own pebble flying at Sasuke's head. It missed and struck a tree, ricocheting off and almost striking a bird nearby. This was happening a lot and Sasuke couldn't help but wonder if Naruto had figured out what he was planning. There had been dozens of rocks flying in all the wrong directions because of those trees, and supposedly Naruto's bad aim. Sasuke caught Naruto's eyes then turned a sharp stare towards Kakashi and Iruka, who were dancing across the river in an aggressive game of tag.

Iruka still wobbled slightly on the water. Diverting his chakara throughout his body while focusing on his second sight jutsu was continued to be difficult for the Chuunin. Sasuke's eyes flashed.

_NOW! _

Naruto read the silent signal perfectly, turning back to flee from Sasuke and giving an indignant yell of frustration. It went ignored by the two sensei. Sasuke flung a rock over Naruto's shoulder, using the moment to calculate a few angles, weighing his options. _There._ He waited until Naruto turned slightly to glance back at him and let the pebble, considerably larger than the others he'd been throwing, fly. Naruto ducked as expected, and the rock stuck a tree in front of the blond. There was a loud _CRACK!_ as it struck wood, and behind Naruto, Kakashi turned slightly to glance towards the distracting noise. The pebble bounced off the tree and flew sharply towards the Jounin just as he was turning, striking him firmly in the temple. Naruto visibly winced in sympathy as the sound of stone colliding with his Sensei's admittedly thick skull echoed slightly over the water.

Kakashi's head jerked on his neck and he swayed for a moment before toppling over suddenly. He collided bodily with Iruka who staggered back and lost his control, crashing into the river, Kakashi sinking beside him. Iruka's startled yelp echoed with Naruto's.

"What the hell!" Iruka barked, coming up for air. He gasped, treading water easily, but casting about awkwardly for his training partner. Kakashi remained below the surface and Sasuke had a moment of fear that he'd just killed his Sensei before Iruka managed to find the other man. Struggling, Iruka pulled Kakashi's head out of the water and began to paddle madly towards the shore. "A little help here!" Iruka shouted, and Sasuke let Naruto rush to his Sensei's side, helping Iruka drag Kakashi's limp form onto the shore.

"AAHHHH! KAKASHI SENSEI'S DEAD!" Naruto screamed, pointing from the wet form at his feet to Sasuke. "You killed him you bastard!"

"I was aiming for _you_." Sasuke drawled. "It's your fault you ducked."

Iruka was kneeling at Kakashi's side, checking for a pulse. He found one, though it was sluggish.

Iruka didn't know what to do. Seconds passed in awkward silence as he waited hopefully for Kakashi to wake up. Sasuke watched passively.

"He's turning blue." He said finally. "You going to let him die?"

Naruto let out another scream of dismay. Sasuke thought his acting might be becoming rather overdramatic, but Iruka didn't seem to notice. He had a hand resting lightly on Kakashi's shoulder.

"Where's Sakura-Chan?" Iruka demanded turning his face, quite uselessly, this way and that. Naruto and Sasuke turned to look, but the couldn't spot Sakura from where they stood. Sasuke swallowed a smile. So she _had_ chosen her position on purpose. He reminded himself to congratulate her on her cleverness later.

"I don't know!" Naruto wailed.

Iruka scowled and found Kakashi's neck again, checking his pulse awkwardly. It was slower. A ripe, purple bruise was developing before the Jounin's right ear, but there was no way Iruka could see this. In fact, if Sasuke wasn't mistaken, the Chuunin was so disarmed that he'd dropped his jutsu completely and was now in the dark.

"Shit!" Mind racing, Iruka rolled Kakashi onto his back, finding the man's face with his hands. He could feel Kakashi's mask, wet and cool, and the line that divided skin from fabric. He swallowed. "Sasuke, go find Sakura." Iruka said, feeling his voice tighten. "We'll need her medical training." He didn't wait for an answer hearing Sasuke turn and dash off.

"Hey! Wait for me!" Naruto was gone in an instant, and Iruka frowned. Damn. Now he was stuck here to…to… Iruka shook his head. It's not that. This was life or death. Keeping one hand on Kakashi's jaw for guidance, Iruka carefully peeled the mask back. Wet as it was, it clung to Kakashi's skin and Iruka had the weird notion that he was doing something indecent to the Jounin. The mask pulled down away from Kakashi's mouth, Iruka slid his free hand across the cool, smooth skin. Even slicker with water, Kakashi's skin made Iruka's hands feel unnaturally rough. Iruka couldn't help but remember how pale Kakashi's complexion was.

Finding Kakashi's lips with his thumb, Iruka took a deep breath.

_Here goes…just don't think about it…just don't…_

Breathing for Kakashi put Iruka's chest all in a flutter and he felt his own breath shake in his lungs. Kakashi's lips were still considerably cooler than Iruka's, but they were still warmer than the rest of him at the moment, and Iruka couldn't help but notice. He tried to put the thought from his mind. It wasn't working. Where the hell was Sakura when you needed her! He pulled back after the first breath, waiting.

Nothing.

Damn.

Iruka tried again, trying not to think of the feeling of his skin connecting with Kakashi's, tried not to think about how he'd awoken a couple of weeks earlier… Just tried to focus on the careful application of his _own breath_ into the other man's. Just fix this. Make him breathe. Do it right this time and you won't have to do it again. There were too many memories, thoughts and feelings connected with Kakashi's skin.

There was a sudden wheeze, and violent coughing. Iruka lunged back as Kakashi sat up abruptly, hacking up copious amounts of water. Landing in a heap at Kakashi's knees, Iruka waited, almost hoping he wouldn't be noticed, though it was he who was blind, not Kakashi. He didn't want Kakashi to know what he'd just done, didn't want the other man to get any more ideas… The last two weeks had been so peaceful, but Iruka didn't dare let his guard down. He didn't think there was any chance of ever changing Kakashi's feelings. The thought made Iruka's heart tingle and sting.

Iruka had lost what little vision he had of the world around him prior to the accident, but he could _feel_ Kakashi's eyes on him. Warm with goose bumps. Warm enough to make Iruka blush slightly, but chillingly cool in it's intensity. There was no mistaking the Copy Nin's stare. Iruka refused to let on that he'd noticed, and waited in silence.

"…Thank you." Kakashi said finally. He was frowning, rubbing a hand over the side of his face, which hurt badly. He had no idea what had hit him to knock him out so soundly. His fingers caught bare skin and he found the hem of his mask, tugging it up quickly. He winced at the uncomfortable feeling of the cold, wet fabric over his face.

Iruka flushed brightly and turned his face away from the other man. The skin inside of his lips was practically vibrating, spreading warmth into his whole face. The moment was getting painfully awkward for him.

"Kakashi-Sensei!" Sakura's alarmed call came floating to the pair. "Kakashi-Sensei!" He turned just as Sakura skidded to his side. "Are you okay! What happened!" She was out of breath and flushed, and had obviously run a long way. Kakashi wondered where she'd been.

"I don't know…but I'm fine now." He said, standing. He staggered once, a little dizzy still, but then stabilized. "Just another concussion for the collection." He smiled cheekily. "Besides, Iruka-kun here saved me!" He added as Iruka climbed to his feet.

Iruka flushed, glowering. Sakura backed away a half step just as Naruto and Sasuke finally arrived.

"Nobody died?" Sasuke asked. He kept his voice carefully flat so that it wouldn't sound hopeful.

"Not today, Sasuke-kun." Kakashi said, smirking. He didn't know yet that it was Sasuke's 'accident' that had felled him so thoroughly only minutes earlier.

"That's good." Sasuke said flatly. Kakashi beamed for a moment before going serious again.

_Sasuke-kun's so funny when he was trying to be all stoic and cool! _Kakashi thought. "Though I'll admit I'm not feeling too hot just now," He turned and glanced back at his silently blushing companion, "and Iruka-Sensei and I need to go dried off." He thought he saw, just for the barest split millisecond, Sasuke's lips twitch, but then it was gone and the boy's face was as stoic and cool as always. Kakashi wondered if he'd imagined it. Perhaps he was starting to go crazy at last. They said insanity was in his genes, after all. Kakashi shrugged the thought away. "So you can all go home for now."

"So that's it?" Sakura asked, sounding slightly disappointed.

"Same time, same place tomorrow!" Kakashi answered, already starting back off towards Konoha. That mask was _really_ uncomfortable wet.

Naruto dashed off as well, and there was a moment of silence as Iruka refused to move. Sasuke and Sakura made the mistake of lingering as well.

"So." Iruka began, voice going into his best stern 'sensei' tone. "Which of you did it? I know it wasn't Naruto. He doesn't plot like that." It was amazing, the two genin thought, how he could glare without his eyes even being visible. "Yes, I did figure it out." Iruka continued. "Yes, it was obvious. I don't like being set up." There was a long pause as both shuffled their feet guiltily. Iruka couldn't see Sasuke's deep scowl, but he knew it was there anyway. Iruka smirked sardonically. "What, you didn't expect the sweet, blind Chuunin to catch on? See, this is what I love about teenagers: despite their insurmountable ability to perpetually piss you off, they have this incredible reservoir of creativity just spilling forth at all times!" He paused again. _What? No clamoring of self defense yet? Sakura isn't so stoic_. "Yes Sasuke-kun, even you." Sasuke flinched, shifting. Iruka could hear the leather of his sandals squeak just slightly. "Sasuke-Kun, you're going to have to help me back to my apartment, I don't think anyone's realized I've drained my chakara for the day…" This thoroughly irritated Sasuke, as Iruka knew it would. Sakura still lingered.

"Go on." Sasuke said to her. Iruka listened to the girls light, hurried footsteps as she departed. Iruka waited until she was long gone to speak.

"Nice try. What did you do?"

Sasuke snorted, mildly amused that Iruka would ask.

_He'll love **this**_. "I threw a rock at him." He said simply. Iruka laughed. He was still rather miffed with Sasuke, but the idea of the great Copy Nin Kakashi being taken out by a Genin and a _rock _struck him as utterly priceless. Iruka wished he'd been able to actually see it happen. Sasuke gave another soft snort. "Thought you'd like that." He said dryly. "Oh, and I'll have you know, Naruto helped."

This sincerely shocked Iruka, though now that he thought twice about it, he reasoned that it shouldn't have.

Sasuke just liked the idea of ratting on his rival, even if it was immature.

"Wonderful." Iruka said dryly. His voice hardened into a warning. "Don't try it again."

Sasuke arched an eyebrow at his former sensei, though he knew perfectly well Iruka couldn't see it.

"Don't want me bruising up his pretty face any more, hm?" Sasuke said in an acidic tone. His original plan didn't work, but he sensed a certain vulnerability towards Kakashi in Iruka that he thought he might be able to play on. The Chuunin was notoriously sensitive.

Iruka twitched and didn't answer, but kept walking, perhaps even a little more quickly. Sasuke watched the man's face as he led him into town.

"He's going to have quite the shiner." Sasuke went on. "Hit him right between the edge of his mask and his forehead protector on the right side." He paused. "Of course, you probably think he deserved it, huh? My bad." Sasuke was a slightly angry person by nature, and it felt disturbingly good to let such poisonous words fly unchecked.

Iruka turned sharply to face Sasuke, stopping them both in the streets of Konoha.

"_Stop_ it!" The angry hiss surprised Sasuke more than he liked to admit, though he was thrilled that he'd hit his mark. He opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off.

"Stop what?"

Iruka jumped at the sound of Kakashi's voice, arriving so suddenly and without warning. Sasuke's heart doubled over slightly, but he managed to keep himself from reacting outwardly.

"Never mind." He said curtly, stuffing his hands in his pockets and walking off.

Kakashi watched after Sasuke for a moment before looking back at Iruka, who was still frozen in place.

"What…?"

"C'mon. I'm getting cold." Iruka said briskly. "Can you just teleport us both back to the apartment?"

Kakashi stared at Iruka for a long moment. Iruka's face was drawn tight in tell-tale distress, though deeper emotions ran through as well. Kakashi, however, wasn't clever enough with reading faces to decipher them.

"Yeah."

---------

Iruka scowled to himself as he stripped out of sodden clothes, staggering sightlessly across his room to find fresh ones. His room, at least, he could navigate without any visual aid. He was disturbed that he had lost control so completely of his jutsu just from being flustered. If this sort of thing happened to him on the battlefield, or even in the classroom for that matter, he would be done for. Though, Iruka reasoned, he figured Kakashi wouldn't always be there to fall on top of him on the battlefield…

And then there was what Sasuke had said.

Iruka let out a low hiss of anger.

Damn that boy and his forked tongue. He wasn't really mad at Sasuke, so much as he was irked that everything the boy had said had been true.

Was he really that transparent?

Granted, Sasuke was an exceptionally sharp person, as was Sakura and even Naruto when he put his mind to it, so maybe it was just circumstance.

Iruka didn't really believe that though.

He had felt a distinct twinge of possessive anger when Sasuke had boasted bruising Kakashi, and a burning guilt at being accused of thinking that maybe the Jounin deserved it.

But he _had been._ He'd laughed in satisfaction about it at first.

_That's just because you were angry._ Iruka told himself._ Because you were embarrassed at having to…to…_

Iruka flushed, the memory of pressing his lips to Kakashi's, _willingly_, even if it was only CPR, only to save a life…no feelings, no emotions…just routine medical assistance…Iruka has taught the same procedure to hundreds of pre-Genin students.

_Then why does it tingle?_

Iruka let out a growl of frustration as he yanked his own shirt on over his head roughly.

A knock at his bedroom door interrupted any further brooding.

"Iruka?" Kakashi's voice was muffled through the thick door, and at a slightly different pitch than normal. The Jounin sounded slightly baffled. "Can I come in? I need to your mirror." Iruka sighed. Looks like someone was about the discover his latest battle scar.

"Yeah. Come in."

The door cracked open- Kakashi always opened the door hesitantly now, peeking in cautiously before finally stepping in.

"Sasuke says you're probably going to bruise." Iruka said.

"Oh…?" Kakashi shuffled into the bathroom. There was a moment of silence and then, "Shit! Damn, can't even cover it up!" The indignant tone in Kakashi's voice made Iruka smile just a little. Kakashi very rarely showed any signs of vanity. Iruka wondered why Kakashi cared, when it was obvious that Iruka would never actually see his face again anyway.

"Is it really that bad?" Iruka asked. He tried to tell himself he was only asking out of curiosity.

"Yeah!" Kakashi griped. "What the hell happened anyway?" He added, turning to project his voice towards Iruka so that it no longer echoed as much in the small, tile-lined room. Iruka found his way to his futon and flopped down on it, irritation bubbling up inside of him again.

"Sasuke, Naruto, and a rock." He said flatly. "I don't know what they were thinking." Iruka had decided at the very last second that he didn't want to let on to Kakashi that he realized the kids were trying to set them up. He didn't want to think about it, and absolutely did not want to _talk_ about it. There was a long pause as Kakashi digested this information.

"A _rock_?" He said finally. Iruka couldn't help but snort.

"According to Sasuke. I don't know what was going on. You'll have to ask him."

"Yeah. About Sasuke. What was he doing to you earlier? You looked really upset." Kakashi asked, stepping out of the bathroom to lean on the doorframe as he watched Iruka. Iruka scowled.

"Nothing. He was just giving me a hard time."

"That's not a very Sasuke thing to do." Kakashi pointed out. Iruka's frown deepened, and he turned away from Kakashi.

"Well I certainly can't figure him out." Kakashi waited for Iruka to say more, but nothing came. Finally he gave up waiting, taking the hint.

"I'll just ice this and then dig up something for lunch then." He said, and turned out.

Iruka didn't think he should feel guilty, but he did.

---------

Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke found themselves again at Ichiraku-San's Ramen stand. It had become their base of operations of sorts.

"So what happened!" Sakura practically screamed. Sasuke sighed, poking at his ramen. He'd been eating way too much of the stuff lately.

"I'm not sure. He undoubtedly figured me out…" Sasuke didn't look too pleased. "Bitched me out for it."

"You nearly _killed_ Kakashi-Sensei!" Naruto broke in.

"Yeah. And?" Sasuke drawled. Naruto bristled.

"So what now?" Sakura asked before the boys could start fighting. Sasuke turned his glare away from Naruto to smile slightly.

"Hn. I don't think it was a total waste, actually."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

:snickers: threw a bit of steam in there at the beginning just to ...do something to you yaoi fanatics XD Special Jounin or not, Kakashi cant have TOTAL control over his libido XD

AN: Omigawd. I can't BELIEVE how freaking long this chapter took to write. I'm TOTALLY aware that it's shorter, and probably not up to parr with my usual stuff, but it's DONE. And the plot is moving again! Yatta!

Don't lynch me for the slow uploads (remember the good ol days when I was updating like every week?)...life's been happening. Got a job. Got school. Got a perpetual hangover from staying up too late. Got distracted by ANOTHER fic I've now started writing. Watch for it soon XD lol. You know, I SWORE I wouldn't do any more multi-tasking with different fanfics anymore... /sigh/ so much for THAT idea... XD

ANYWAY...

Important notes!

1) if you didn't notice, or I didn't make it clear enough, there was a TWO WEEK TIME JUMP somewhere in the beginning third or so of this chapter. I'm very awkward with time skips like this, so positive feedback would be appreciated. Just be gentle XD lol.

2) Sasuke was a REAL pain in the ass to write for. I hate him. And for the purposes of this story, I have to make him at least mildly decent, but still snarky enough to stir up shit with Iruka, but not be TOTALLY OOC... /rips out hair/ he's such a pain. But a necessary one. (cries) Stupid Sasuke. And he's just ALL OVER this chapter too... gaah. I'm sorry. More Kakashi and Iruka in the next chappie.

3) Speaking of Kakashi and Iruka... XD heh. (Did we forget about those two? XD) Each chapter will probably contain MORE TIME SKIPS, one or more in each, at this point. They're past the melodramatic angsting...outwardly anyway, as everything's out in the open (At least on Kakashi's side... :whaps Iruka: ----,) so the plot is going to move a little faster now. THANK KAMISAMA! XD

4) Iruka's line about teenagers...did you all notice that? I am EXTREMELY proud of that line damnit! I thought of that line 2 months ago back in like chapter 15 or something, when the rock idea (heh) hit me, but at like 2 am when I was in bed, and I got up the next morning and wrote it down asap, but I didn't have it quite right, and I've been working it out in my head over and over again SINCE then, but just tonight I FINALLY worked it out to perfection...

All that suffering over one sentence... XD That creative writing class hasn't been healthy for my mind.

5) Kakashi Angst is now an official fascination for me. More and more kashi angst on my devart page (See my website) and more SERIOUS kashi angst coming soon to a profile near you. ---- :is bricked: I'm sorry. I've been told I'm shameless...and they're all right XD

HOPE YOU ENJOYED! SORRY ABOUT THE SHITTY UPDATE TIME XD

R&R

MRE


	20. Chapter 20

_**Blind**_

20

Naruto found himself at Iruka's apartment early, before training was supposed to start. He knew quite well that Iruka was an early riser, and had visited his ex-Sensei this early a hundred times before, just as casually.

Naruto considered it an enormous gift that things were so easy between himself and Iruka. There were still so many in Konoha who would readily chuck him right back out into the street for even considering visiting.

Naruto smiled as he let himself in without knocking.

_But not family…Iruka-Sensei is always welcoming._ The thought warmed Naruto's heart. Stepping inside, his smile grew as he heard Iruka's voice calling through the house.

"Ohayo Naruto-kun! Come in! I'm in the kitchen…"

Naruto giggled cheerfully to himself, smiling as he indeed found Iruka seated at the small table, halfway through a bowl of cereal.

"You knew it was me?"

"I 'saw' you coming, yeah." Iruka said. "I've been practicing stretching my range a bit…I noticed you down by the florist." He grinned in Naruto's general direction.

"That's awesome!" Naruto hugged him enthusiastically then took a seat beside him. "You're gonna be stronger than Kakashi-Sensei soon!" The blond glanced around. "Where is the lazy bastard anyway…?" Iruka couldn't help but laugh.

"You shouldn't say that about your Sensei, Naruto." The reprimand didn't sound too convincing around a laugh, and Naruto chuckled. "And I don't know where he-" He cut off as the pipes rattled lightly and the sounds of someone in the shower floated up the hallway into the kitchen. Iruka smiled wryly. He didn't think Naruto could hear it, but Iruka thought he detected a low humming of what was apparently one of Kakashi's favorite tunes. "In the shower it would seem." He had heard that tune from Kakashi many times before. "He just woke up not to long ago, I think." Naruto sniggered.

"I knew he was lazy!"

"And what has you up so early?" Iruka countered wryly. "Usually someone has to beat you out of bed for you to be early." Naruto huffed.

"Sakura-Chan didn't want to train yet and Sasuke-bastard wasn't home so I came to see you!" Iruka flinched slightly at the mention of Naruto's rival. Sasuke's words from the day before had continued to echo in his mind all through the night.

"Sasuke-kun says you were in on yesterday's prank." Iruka said sternly. Naruto remained quiet. "I can't say I appreciated that very much. I'm assuming it was your idea?"

"No! Sasuke-bastard thought it up! Sakura-Chan and I didn't even know what was going on. We were just supposed to play along!"

"You didn't even know? _What_ were you guys thinking!" Iruka couldn't help the outburst. It had been bothering him since he woke up an hour and a half ago. Iruka stood as he spoke, crossing the kitchen smoothly to rinse his dishes. Naruto sat, watching his ex-sensei. Iruka's hands fumbled a little.

"We just want everyone to be happy…" Naruto mumbled. Iruka turned to face Naruto again, face drawn up angrily.

"Naruto! Happiness doesn't come from forced relationships or _concussions_!" _Even if he doesn't understand that I would have at least thought Sakura or Sasuke would have known better. _Iruka thought miserably. Naruto cringed.

"No one wants to force you Iruka-Sensei…" Naruto said, very quietly. Iruka scowled.

"That's what you three are _doing!"_

"I don't want to force you, Iruka-Sensei." Naruto amended. "I don't know what the hell Sasuke-bastard was doing." Naruto bit out Sasuke's name, angry that the other boy had upset his precious person. Iruka rubbed his eyes -they still ached a little in the mornings- deciding it was time to cool down a little before they started to fight in earnest.

"I have to say that's one of the worst setup attempts I've ever heard of." He tried out a laugh but it stuck in his throat and never actually happened.

"But I just want you to not hate Kakashi-Sensei!" Naruto finished quickly. Iruka sighed heavily.

"I don't _hate _him,Naruto. I just don't want to…" Iruka struggled. "want… I don't want… Not like that! I'm not… I mean I-" Iruka fumbled.

"He really, really likes you, you know." Naruto said softly. Iruka bit his lip, crossing the kitchen to flop back down at the table with his almost-son.

"Naruto-"

"I guess I kind'a know how it feels… Sakura-Chan's never liked me much…" Iruka could see the blue-white silhouette of Naruto seated on one of the kitchen chairs, hands folded in his lap, head bowed. "He… I mean, we wouldn't try anything at all if any of us thought he could offer you anything less than perfect… Sakura-Chan actually felt it… cause of the accident with the Sharingan and all… and she's still all shook up about it." He paused to look up at Iruka. The man had his face turned away slightly, as if he couldn't bear Naruto's words. "All I'm saying is that if you gave him the chance, he'd give you the world if he could…" Down the hall, the sound of the bathroom door clicking open echoed slightly in the silence that passed between Iruka and Naruto.

"Naruto--" Iruka began. The blond rose suddenly from his seat and crossed the space between them to hug Iruka firmly.

"I just had to say it." Naruto said apologetically. "I won't let Sasuke try anything else." Iruka sighed, hugging the boy back fiercely.

"Naruto- I understand, but you just can't change-"

"It's okay." Naruto cut him off, pulling out of the hug finally. "Ohayo Kaka-Sensei." He said more clearly, turning his attention past Iruka. Kakashi stood in the doorway with a towel wrapped around his head to hide his face, and blinked in surprise at Naruto.

"You're up early." He commented.

"And you overslept, you lazy ass!" Naruto countered, standing up fully to point accusingly at Kakashi. His sensei took a breath to counter but there was a knock at the front door. Iruka hurried to answer, already recognizing the chakara-shadows of Sakura and Sasuke.

"Ohayo Iruka-Sensei!" Sakura chirped. "Naruto-kun mentioned visiting you…is he still here?"

"Back here, Sakura-Chaaan!" Naruto cheered. Iruka stepped aside to allow Sakura, and Sasuke trailing after, to enter and find Naruto. Kakashi, Iruka noted, had disappeared back into the rear of the apartment, and then vanished all together. He snorted softly to himself. Couldn't go without his mask still, apparently.

There was a moment of tension as Sasuke paused ever so-slightly as he passed Iruka, and the Chuunin could _feel_ the look, even if he couldn't make out Sasuke's face with his Second Sight. Iruka considered pouring extra energy into picking out the details of the boy's face for a moment, but decided that Sasuke had always been inscrutable anyway, and that it wasn't worth the effort to try and read a face that only wore one expression. On second thought, Iruka decided not to look at Sasuke at all.

"Sasuke!" Naruto's voice echoed slightly through Iruka's apartment. Iruka swore he even heard the windows rattle. "Quit glaring like an asshole at Iruka-Sensei!" Sasuke grunted softly, clearly annoyed, and shuffled off towards the kitchen. Iruka followed the sound of his bare feet sliding across the carpet then slapping softly through the kitchen.

"What brings you three here?" Kakashi's voice filtered in to Iruka, who lingered by the door, just listening for a moment. Kakashi moved much more silently, and Iruka hadn't noticed the return of his presence, far too used to Kakashi being a permanent part of his home now.

"Naruto-kun said something about coming to visit Iruka-Sensei." Sakura informed. There was the scraping of a chair across the floor, and a soft creak. Iruka wandered back into the room to find Kakashi, chakara swirling lazily, lounging fluidly in one of the kitchen chairs. He swung his feet up in a graceful arc to prop them on Naruto's lap, since the boy was currently occupying Kakashi's favorite footrest. Naruto made a disgusted sound and shoved his Sensei's large feet off of him, muttering.

"Baka."

"Come on, Dobe." Sasuke broke in. "We came to find you for a reason you know."

"Stay a while. We'll all end up training together anyway." Iruka said, coming in.

"Hokage-Sama has summoned us." Sasuke said flatly, lifting his elbow slightly. For the first time Iruka focused on the frenzied blur of white energy emanating from a small bird of prey perched on the boy's shoulder. The Hokage's falcon screeched impatiently in response, latching onto a stray lock of Sasuke's hair and pulling. "Ow--! Damnit! Fine! We're _going_!" Sasuke huffed. "Come on guys." Iruka and Kakashi chuckled. Both had been subjected to the bird's impatience before. When the Hokage sent him to retrieve someone, the bird would not rest until he had completed his mission. Rumor said that the bird had been trained by the Second Hokage, a summon bound directly to the village as a whole rather than any one person.

Having been summoned to the Hokage's Tower quite frequently all his life, Kakashi thought the bird's demeanor had become slightly crankier since Tsunade had been in power.

"Bye Iruka-Sensei!" Naruto chirped, moving to hug Iruka once more and then turning to follow Sasuke.

"Bye Iruka-Sensei! By Kakashi-Sensei!" Sakura echoed, waving cheekily as she followed the boys.

"Later." Sasuke mumbled.

Iruka stood in the corner, following their progress out of the complex and down the street until they were out of his range. He fell silent, again faced with Kakashi alone.

A clock ticked in the next room, and the refrigerator kicked into a new cycle, humming softly. Back in his bedroom, Tomodachi was snoozing happily, and outside the front window, three birds were huddled together on a wire, warming themselves in the early morning sun. Kakashi was silent.

"Naruto came here to put in a good word for you, you know." Iruka said finally, crossing the kitchen.

Kakashi remained in thoughtful silence almost long enough for Iruka to think he wasn't going to respond.

"What do you think?" He asked finally. He'd taken his feet off of Naruto's chair and was sitting up properly.

"Honestly? I don't want to think right now." He said, turning to move towards his room.

"Are you angry?" Kakashi called. Iruka paused.

"No. None of this can be helped." Iruka said softly, pushing his bedroom door open slowly to slip in. At the table, Kakashi was on his feet, already following Iruka.

---------

"Well? Any luck with your wonderful plan?"

Tsunade was leaning rather lazily over her new desk, elbows propped under her. Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto shifted anxiously where they stood lined up before her.

"Um…" Sakura began awkwardly.

"I don't think so Tsunade-Baba…" Naruto murmured. He was still feeling the chagrin left over from his conversation with Iruka.

"I wouldn't say that." Sasuke countered. Tsunade raised an eyebrow. Naruto glanced over at him sharply.

"We need to back off!" He said suddenly. "Iruka-Sensei was really upset!"

"Hn." Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes.

"He was upset?" Tsunade pressed.

"He was all thinking we were trying to force him into liking Kakashi-Sensei or something! We've gotta leave him alone or he's just gunna get more mad and not do _anything_ even if he decides he wants to!"

Tsunade blinked, startled by Naruto's outburst.

"You do know Iruka-kun best, don't you?" She said finally. Naruto bit his lip, nodding.

"I think we may have done enough anyway." Sasuke said. Sakura, who had been following the other's conversation intently, sighed.

"I don't get it."

"That's okay Sakura-Chan! I can explain it to you!" Naruto piped in. Sakura raised a fist to hit the boy, but then lowered her arm thinking twice about it.

"Listen up." Tsunade interjected, providing just enough distraction to save Naruto before Sakura could change her mind about hitting him. "There _is_ a reason I called you guys in here, you know." She said, then smirked. "Besides the juicy gossip, that is." She wiggled her fingers gleefully in a way that was so thoroughly reminiscent of Jiraiya that Naruto shuddered.

"We're listening." Sasuke said. Tsunade's smirk grew for a moment as she sat back in her seat, eyeing the trio.

"I'm going to need you guys to only take local missions for a little while." She said. Naruto let out a scream

"BUT THOSE ARE ALL ONLY D AND C RANK MISSIONS!" He bellowed.

"Idiot!" Sakura barked. "We're _genin!_ We're only _supposed_ to take C and D ranked missions!" Naruto moved quickly to put Sasuke between himself and Sakura before she could hit him.

"Sorry Brat." Tsunade said. "But I need Kakashi for an important mission out of the country, and I want you guys to stick around and help Iruka-kun if he needs it…_If_ he needs it, understood? I don't want you three badgering him if he can manage on his own." The three children stared at her, jaws agape.

"BUT--!" Sakura finally managed. "How do you expect Kakashi-Sensei and Iruka-Sensei to get together if you send Kakashi-Sensei out of the country!"

Tsunade sighed heavily.

"There's no one else I can send out. I'm the leader of a prominent hidden village, not a matchmaker. Delegating missions is are the ultimate priority, even if Kakashi-kun and Iruka-kun _would_ make a cute couple." She paused, smiling wryly. "Duty aside, however, there's nothing like a little bit of distance to make the heart grow fonder, you know. Maybe Iruka-kun will forget he doesn't like Kakashi-Sensei." She winked. From the other corner, Shizune rolled her eyes in exasperation, muttering something about hopeless romantics and reading too many of Jiraiya-Sama's books. The three genin didn't seem to have noticed.

"You just made that up off the top of your head!" Naruto accused, pointing. Tsunade fixed him a dark glare.

"So-" She went on, ignoring his comment completely, mostly because Naruto had been right. That and she was trying to assign them all another task. "Get yourselves out of here and send Iruka-kun up, will you? Alone. I want to see if he can make it here without any help from Mr. Lovesick."

The three nodded.

"Good! Dismissed."

---------

"Iruka-san…" Iruka turned at the sound of Kakashi's voice, feeling the man enter the room just behind him. A slight flutter of nervousness found itself in Iruka's stomach.

"What?" He asked carefully.

"What…exactly did Naruto say to you?"

Iruka sighed.

"Pretty much that he knows how you feel." Iruka summarized. _Though the way he said it, it was almost like truth in poetry… _"And he thinks I should…what word do you use for 'trying harder to fall in love'?" He added, trying to bite off the bitter edge to his words. He didn't think his efforts did much good.

"Oh…"

"Why?" Iruka pressed. Kakashi was too quiet, and still approaching him slowly. Something about the movement mixed with his quiet demeanor made Iruka's pulse go a beat too quick.

"I…"

_Uh oh…_ Iruka thought cynically. _God, not another confession…_

"Could you…" Kakashi was within arms' reach, and Iruka stepped back, but Kakashi closed the distance again. "_Could_ you try? Just… one kiss..._please_...I swear, if you can still say you honestly feel nothing, then that's it. I'll leave you alone and you'll never hear another word about it. But please just…" Kakashi whispered, catching one of Iruka's arms in hand. Kakashi's grip was too gentle, and Iruka's breath hitched. "You never even bothered to reject me properly…" Kakashi finished.

Iruka's mind raced, Naruto's words flooding back to his ears almost as if the boy was there again, whispering unwanted truths in his ears.

_"He really, really likes you, you know. All I'm saying is that if you gave him the chance, he'd give you the world if he could…" _ No one had ever bothered with giving Iruka the _world_ before, and the notion left him terrifyingly thrilled.

"Don't." Iruka warned, voice shaking. His heart was hammering now.

"Just once."

"You already had your 'just once!' You don't get a second." Iruka said bitterly. The feeling of Kakashi practically molesting him awake still haunted Iruka in sudden flashes of memory. Quite frequently in fact.

"Please…? Never again… I won't… if you still don't want-" He choked off the sentence. "I'll go away. Forever if you want. Please give me a chance." Iruka wondered hazily if anyone else had ever heard Kakashi beg for _anything._

_He would stoop so low for me?_

Iruka thought he'd given Kakashi plenty of chances. Iruka thought of how hard Kakashi had been trying, and of how he kept failing miserably anyway. Iruka thought of how scared Kakashi could make him. He remembered the humiliation and feeling of betrayal vividly. He _wasn't_ going to give Kakashi another chance.

"This is the last." Iruka said, startling himself with the _wrong_ answer. It wasn't until Kakashi's grip had tightened on his arm slightly that he even realized that he hadn't said what he'd wanted to. _Wait! No! I meant no!_ The hand that had been on his arm circled around Iruka's waist instead, pulling him closer to Kakashi. Another slid warmly across his face, a trembling, feather-light caress. Iruka jerked back slightly, gasping.

"Just this…" Kakashi whispered, and Iruka could feel his breath on his cheek, could feel Kakashi's heart thundering through his chest so violently and close that Iruka's own pulse seemed to struggle to match it.

"Kakashi-!" Iruka only just managed to gasp Kakashi's name before lips locked smoothly over his own. Iruka couldn't remember when Kakashi had pulled his mask down. He went rigid, squirming, breath hitching and pulse racing. Completely unable to keep from struggling, Iruka planted a hand on Kakashi's chest, pushing at him, though weakly. Kakashi caught his hand up and held it gently, threading his fingers through Iruka's, still kissing him softly. Iruka could only tremble.

"Iruka…" Kakashi pulled away from the kiss to press his forehead against Iruka's for a moment, moving them both in a gentle rocking motion, almost as if dancing. Kakashi lifted his face to kiss Iruka's forehead, pulling Iruka fully into an embrace as he did so. Kakashi's arms were warm against Iruka's back, one hand smoothing gentle circles over his shoulders.

Slowly, Iruka relaxed, though his heart still hammered desperately. He only shivered when Kakashi caught his lips in another gentle kiss.

Kakashi seemed as much if not more overwhelmed than even Iruka did. He was shaking fiercely, enough to make his arms jerk against Iruka's back and his breath hitch. Stretching his mind, Iruka could see Kakashi's heart pumping with a near explosive force, skipping every few beats. Maybe Kakashi was the more frightened of the two. Maybe Iruka had been in denial the entire time. He didn't know, nor was he willing to think on it all too hard, as he finally caved in and let his own lips move in response to Kakashi's silently imploring touches. Kakashi's lips moved excruciatingly deep and slow against Iruka's, and it was almost as if the law were written within Iruka's blood. He _had_ to respond, terrified and confused and utterly overwhelmed though he was. Kakashi gave out a low, elated whine that made Iruka's mind go entirely blank.

All Kakashi could think of was that when he finally responded, Iruka's lips were trembling, and of how embarrassing the chocked sound of joy he'd just made in response was. It wasn't like clockwork. Both were hesitant and shaking and clumsy but it was still beautiful. Iruka made a soft sound, deep in his throat.

Suddenly the moment was over as Iruka leapt back. Kakashi swayed on his heels, startled. He watched as Iruka clutched his own chest, gasping raggedly.

"I hate you…_so much_…I _hate_ you!" Iruka hissed. Kakashi turned his face away, burned.

"I'm sorry…" He said, voice hoarse. _You can handle this damn it!_ Iruka let out a growl, stalking up to Kakashi and grabbing him by the front of his shirt. He was certain Iruka was about to hit him, if not throttle him completely.

"Kakashi?" The spike of fear that went through Kakashi had drawn Tomodachi into the room.

"Idiot!" Iruka barked, and pulled Kakashi to him, smashing their lips together fiercely. Tomodachi sat down abruptly, stunned by what he saw. "I--" Iruka was cut off by a loud bang at the front of the house.

When Naruto kicked the front door to the apartment open, both Kakashi and Iruka had jumped considerably.

"IRUKA-SENSEIIIII!" Naruto called, and they could both hear the thundering footsteps moving _far_ too quickly towards his room. Iruka let out a strangled sound and vanished suddenly. Naruto's thundering footfalls were too close and too fast for his comfort. Kakashi blinked, startled. He glanced at Tomodachi.

"He teleported." He said, dumbfounded. "Since when could he teleport?" Tomodachi wished he had human shoulders so he could shrug properly. Neither had any further time to discuss the matter of Iruka's skills, let alone where he had gone or what he'd just _done_, due to the brilliant orange and blond cannonball that shot into the room. Kakashi tugged his mask up quickly.

"IRUKA-SENS--" Naruto cut off as he skidded into the bedroom to find only Kakashi and Tomodachi in the room. Naruto swayed onto his toes before he regained his balance, and blinked at Kakashi.

"Where's Iruka-Sensei?" He asked, glancing all about.

Kakashi, still reeling from what had just transpired between Iruka and himself, was more or less speechless as he tried to catch his breath without the boy noticing. His heart was still hammering fit to shatter his chest.

"Uh-" He began, none-too eloquently. "He went for a walk," He lied, hoping to all hell that nothing would come up to counter whatever he said. "You probably went right by him." Naruto's face scrunched up in confusion. Behind him, Sasuke and Sakura bunched into the room, finally catching up just in time to hear Kakashi's rather lame lie. Sasuke fixed him a dark look, and Kakashi had to struggle not to bite his lip or fidget nervously. Naruto, however, seemed to buy his story. He looked crestfallen.

"Oh…Well. Um…" Naruto struggled.

"When he comes back, tell him Hokage-Sama would like to see him in her office." Sasuke filled in, eyes still fixed piercingly on Kakashi. Kakashi glared back, daring the boy to challenge him. "Alone." Sasuke added, and Kakashi held back a cringe. He forced a smile, shutting his eye cheekily to hide it's falseness.

"Will do!" He said. Much to his relief, the trio turned and left immediately. Kakashi stood frozen in place, listening until he heard the front door click shut, and he could no longer hear Naruto's loud chattering beyond. Giving a low groan, Kakashi let his knees buckle and he collapsed into a heap in the center of Iruka's bedroom.

Inside the adjacent bathroom, Iruka sat similarly against the wall, trying to still his ragged breathing. He heard the thump of Kakashi falling to the floor, and staggered to his feet, stepping out. Kakashi had his head bowed almost to his knees, and didn't look up.

"Tsunade's summoned you." Kakashi whispered.

"I heard." Iruka said. His voice shook.

"Don't let them see you leave the house." Tomodachi warned. Iruka nodded.

"Right." He vanished on the spot, reappearing a few blocks up the street, where he proceeded to walk the rest of the distance to Tsunade's office.

---------

Iruka's knees were still knocking slightly by the time he arrived at Tsunade's office ten minutes later. The two ANBU guards at the door had been expecting him, and bowed politely as he passed them. Iruka winced as he as much walked into as pushed open the large doors, and hoped he didn't look too pathetic. He tried to take a deep breath and felt his lungs tremble. He bowed. From across the room, Tsunade made a pleased sound.

"You look flushed." She commented, and Iruka inwardly cringed, feeling his face heat even more. _Yeah…I just let myself be seduced by Konoha's most eligible bachelor… _

"It was an embarrassingly graceless journey from my apartment." Iruka said, voice shaking just slightly. That much was true, if his rather clumsy entrance into the office could speak for him. Tsunade laughed.

"Understandable. You are functioning mostly normally now, right?"

"When Kakashi-San doesn't insist on mollycoddling me." He said flatly. His voice hitched on Kakashi's name, and he hoped to high heaven above that the Hokage hadn't noticed.

Of course, Tsunade had noticed, and she smiled ruefully to herself.

_He's embarrassed for more than bashing into the door…something's happened…Maybe the Uchiha Brat was right…_ "Good." She said aloud. "Because I need to send Kakashi-San-" She parroted the title just to watch Iruka twitch slightly, "away on a mission, so you'll be on your own for a while."

The tidal wave of emotions that flashed through Iruka were astounding. Surprise, then terror, then overwhelming relief, and then…regret followed rapidly by defiant anger. Most, much to Tsunade's amusement, flashed across his face before he could properly school it into passivity.

"I'm sure I can manage." He paused, thinking something over quickly. "And… permission to speak honestly?"

"Yes, as always, Iruka-Sensei." Tsunade drawled already certain she knew what he would say.

"I…I think it's time I learn to function wholly independently anyway…And…Kakashi-San and I…" He choked again just slightly, pausing to swallow dryly. "…it hasn't been… healthy." He finished finally. _I have no clue what just happened back there…_Iruka felt himself start to tremble anew, and choked the thoughts back, forcing his fear and uncertainty to stay safely hidden.

Tsunade beamed at Iruka, though she doubted he could see the expression.

"Well lucky you, he's going to be leaving the country for quite some time." She said cheerily. Again, that weird flicker of mixed emotions across Iruka's face before it all vanished abruptly. Iruka may have lost his own eyesight, but he was still acutely aware that everyone else could still see _him_. "I've ordered Team Seven to stick around on local jobs for a while, so if you do need help with anything, they'll be around." Tsunade went on. "That is all. Kindly deliver this to Kakashi-Kun, will you?" She stood and crossed the room to hand a sealed scroll to Iruka. She grinned as his blindfolded gaze followed her. It was unnerving to be watched by a man who was by all technicalities blind, but also inspiring. Her already high-hopes for Iruka doubled in that moment of realization. Iruka pocketed the scroll and bowed.

"Thank you Hokage-Sama."

"Oh, one more thing-" Tsunade stopped him with a hand and Iruka turned back to face her. "Just how much… _can_ you see?"

Iruka smiled warmly, his worries forgotten just for a moment.

"I can see your smile." He said. "But it takes extra energy to make out facial expressions…I usually don't bother." _But I could see the way Kakashi's heart spasmed when he touched me, how he wouldn't close his eyes, even when I-_ Iruka cut that thought off abruptly, feeling his pulse flutter and his cheeks start to warm.

"You should be proud." Tsunade said. "There are many who are faced with fallbacks like yours, who just flop over and give up."

"I wouldn't be setting a very good example for Naruto if I did that, now would I?" Iruka countered, smiling serenely. He bowed again. "Thank you again, Hokage-Sama."

---------

Iruka found Kakashi in the kitchen, sitting on the counter and wrapped around a cup of instant ramen. The Jounin had jumped when Iruka quietly entered the kitchen, head snapping up sharply, before looking away abruptly.

Kakashi didn't know what would happen now. He had not had time to discuss the results of his 'experiment' with Iruka, and now the silence was already stretching. Iruka's reaction had been confusing, even for Kakashi, high lord of _'underneath the underneath.' _ His pulse doubled anxiously just at seeing the Chuunin enter the room. He stood up, setting his ramen aside.

"You have a mission." Iruka said, tossing the scroll at Kakashi. Kakashi caught it by pure reflex, his mind anywhere but on the small object hurtling towards him. He kept his eyes on Iruka, who stood quietly, waiting, even as he popped the seal and opened the intricate scroll.

Kakashi grimaced. The first thing he noticed was the ANBU seal stamped over the list of checkable mission ranks. Written by hand below was 'S-RANK.' Kakashi sighed through his nose.

_Great. I get to get my hands dirty. So much for the paradise mission…Let's see who I get to murder this week…_ He read on, going over the details. _Reconnaissance. Hm… maybe I won't be killing anyone… _the flood of relief was short lived, as Kakashi's gaze fell on the estimated duration of the mission.

Even Iruka, still leaning quietly against the doorframe leading from the living room into the kitchen area, could see Kakashi's chakara begin to churn in distress as Kakashi bit back the urge to scream.

"So. Tsunade-Sama called you up to her office alone to see if you could manage on your own, hm?" Kakashi asked, voice tight.

"Yes, she did." Iruka said, startled by Kakashi's insight.

"I'll get you set up as much as possible tonight. I leave at dawn." Kakashi said, hating the rigidity in Iruka's voice. Maybe it was better he was going away for a while.

"Thank you." Iruka said, going silent for a long moment. "For how long?" He asked. Kakashi had just used a low-power fire jutsu to set the scroll aflame in the sink, and Iruka realized that was probably the only question Kakashi could answer about his mission.

"Two to four months…" Kakashi's voice was brittle. "Which means it will probably take six. They're sending me all the way out to Cloud Country."

"Oh."

_Just 'oh'? _Kakashi managed to avoid wincing.

"Iruka-Sensei," he began, mind wandering back to earlier.

"You don't have to do anything tonight. Just rest while you can. You can't afford to be exhausted before you begin such a long mission." Iruka said, cutting him off. "I can manage. And if I can't, the kids will be around to help me. I am no longer your priority." Iruka's voice was stern, and Kakashi was able to read underneath _those_ words far too easily. He considered arguing, but stayed silent.

"Alright. C'mon, 'Dachi." Tomodachi came out from under the table to join Kakashi briefly before disappearing in a puff of chakara smoke. Kakashi glanced over his shoulder at the cup of ramen on the counter. He knew Iruka was watching in his own special way. "There's still some left, if you want it." He said, then vanished.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: WOOT! I UPDATED FASTER! I'M PROUD OF ME! XD

Honestly though, I should have gotten this done a few days ago, but I got sidetracked over the weekend. Just sidetracked, not busy. Someone suggested me drawing Sephiroth (from FFVII) in an ANBU uniform... and my poor demented brain HAD to run with it. That took a day in itself. Yes, I know I'm pathetic.

1) WOOOT! 20 CHAPTERS, 166 PAGES AND LIKE WHAT...SIX MONTHS LATER? AND THEY FINALLY FREAKING /DO/ SOMETHING...! XDD Granted...it's not much... but...it's a start! XD And now... Poor confused Ruka doesn't get the chance to try and figure out what the fuck is going on in his poor demented brain because Kashi-kun's got a misssioonn! XD

Yes. I know I'm evil. But really, this WAS part of the plan when I thought this story up last summer. Really. This chapter has been in the works for quite some time.

2) That said, don't worry. You don't have to put up with another six months of angst. XD We're going to skip most of Kakashi's mission. (because who cares about Kakashi, and Cloud Country and all that jazz)

3) THE SCENE...(you know which) was written, re-written, cut down, re-written, HACKED TO FREAKING PIECES, then TOTALLY changed...sorta, then cut down a little, then redone...Litterally. I shit you not.

4) OMG. I went back through Ch. 19 and found ALL KINDS of THE MOST embarrassing errors! XD :dies: So don't read it again. Sooner or later I'll put up a more polished version of this whole fanfic. (I keep editing little things, changing a word here, a little punctuation here...through the whole thing. I've changed ch. 1 probably 30 times... Nothing noticable, but little nit-picking shit I can't help.)

5) YAY! LESS SASUKE in this chapter! It was MUCH easier to write XD ...Stupid Sasuke. (He's onto Kakashi and Iruka, by the way XD...Stupid Sasuke...)

! Note: Yes. This fic IS YAOI. Now that's so perfectly evident, I don't want to be badgered about the writing of lemons, or demands of who's on top and who isn't. It hasn't really been a big problem, but I've seen it come up a few times in comments, so I'm addressing it early. I don't exactly know yet. So don't ask, and don't tell XD I'm glad you're all excited but don't get me all worked up or confused or I'm gunna pull a 'Ruka and shut down and not do anything XD


	21. Chapter 21

_**Blind**_

21

Kakashi tried his best not to throw a tantrum as he stormed through his rather unwelcoming apartment. He wasn't angry, but damned if he wasn't frustrated enough to kill someone for it.

Ok. Maybe not _kill_ anyone. There was nobody to kill.

Striding across his room, he threw open the closet, digging out his ANBU uniform. He stared at it for a long moment, heaving a sigh.

It had been a long time since he'd been sent out on orders from the Hokage's private forces. He tossed the padded vest, armor and boots onto his bed, and dug deeper for the katana and mask. He tossed the hound mask over his shoulder and it landed with a clatter against the armor, and Kakashi momentarily wished it would break. In fact, he wondered vaguely why it hadn't. He glanced down at the weapon in his hands, and slowly unsheathed it. The sword was beautifully crafted by the best sword smith Fire Country had to offer. Even if what it represented made Kakashi's stomach churn, it was still one of his most prized possessions. Re-sheathing it, he held it in his free hand as he pulled out a lacquered box. Another prized possession. Carrying the mid-sized box over to his bed, he opened it reverently, a sad smile dawning under his mask.

"_Kakashi-kun, stop, you'll kill yourself!" At six, Kakashi had blatantly ignored his new sensei. He would get this to work…he **had** to get it to work…What was he, if he couldn't live up to his father's name? It didn't matter to Kakashi that he was only six years old, already a child prodigy and more than most shinobi **ever** dreamed of becoming. He strained, channeling every ounce of power his little body could provide, but it just wasn't enough. He felt faint, dizzy, and the world started to spin even as his legs gave out. With a growl of frustration, he began to fall. _

_It was on this day that Kakashi realized just how fast his Sensei was. He'd been caught inches from the ground (even though the fall would not have hurt him at all) and Kakashi found himself being cradled in large, warm arms. He squirmed weakly, feeling like he was being held like a baby._

_"Put me down!" He demanded._

_"No. You're exhausted. Give it a rest." His Sensei had said, and much to Kakashi's irritation, he'd been smiling broadly. Kakashi scowled._

_"No! I have-- my father--!" He squirmed out of the man's grip, falling cat-like to the ground. He tried to stand, wobbling badly. Sensei remained quiet, watching him intently. Kakashi had barely reached his full height of four feet when he collapsed again with a strangled cry. This time nobody bothered to catch him, and Kakashi couldn't find the strength to stand. He let out a frustrated sound, tiny fists pulling up clods of grass and dirt. His Sensei's large hands folded easily around his waist, lifting Kakashi. _

_"Your father left you this legacy for your future, Kakashi. Not for right now." He took the White Fang's chakara blade-the handle still too large for Kakashi's hands- and re-sheathed it, handing it back to the boy. "You still have a vast future ahead of you Kakashi-kun. You don't need to rush. You're already amazing." Kakashi made a face, disagreeing, but listening quietly all the same, just as his father had taught him. _

Kakashi pulled his father's old weapon carefully from it's box, laying it out gently on his bed to be equipped later with the rest of his gear. He wondered as he moved through his tiny apartment what his father would say to him if they were to meet again after so many years.

At the moment, Kakashi reasoned that Sakumo probably wouldn't have very many nice things to say.

_You've let yourself slip, boy. _He might tell him. _All this sniveling and sap over unrequited love…Love is not for shinobi…especially with other-_ Kakashi shut the voice out of his head. He could almost envision the look on his fathers face if he found any of Jiraiya's books…_that_ would be interesting. _What would your mother say!_ Kakashi decided he didn't want to think about that either. _What would your sensei say to that if he knew you were reading such unclean drivel._ That made Kakashi smirk a little.

_He's one of the stars in the first book._ _That's why I read them. _Kakashi answered his imaginary father.

"Kakashi." Kakashi jumped. He'd gone still and was staring off into space. Tomodachi stood in the middle of his room staring up worriedly at Kakashi.

"Sorry pup." Kakashi murmured. "I got lost in thought."

"Just make sure you don't get so lost that you can't find your way back." Tomodachi said, then disappeared in a puff of chakara smoke. Kakashi frowned. The dog had sounded so much like his Sensei there…

"You're loosing it Hatake." He told himself. Pulling himself together, Kakashi changed quickly into his uniform and grabbed his gear, deciding to leave early. As he darted off towards the gates of Konoha, he couldn't help but wonder again if he'd somehow inadvertently inherited a certain amount of insanity, if not from his own bloodline, maybe that of the Uchiha, through his borrowed eye. _Don't go there dumb-ass. Just do your mission._

---------

Iruka stood in his kitchen, unconsciously counting the seconds tick away on the clock in the living room, for all of ten minutes before he finally moved. His apartment was so silent he could hear his own pulse, and the sudden absence of life was unnerving.

Heaving a sigh, Iruka grabbed what was left of Kakashi's ramen. The cup was almost full, he noticed. He didn't think Kakashi had eaten more than a bite out of it. Stirring it absently with a fresh pair of chopsticks from the top drawer, to the right of the stove, Iruka left the kitchen and headed for his living room. He counted steps to the couch, not really bothering with his Second Sight. He knew his home well enough: He'd navigated it in total darkness plenty of times. Bumping the armrest of the couch with his knee, Iruka circled around, and flopped down.

He got right back up again.

The whole thing smelt strongly of Kakashi, who'd practically been living on it until now.

Iruka was still stirring the ramen, but had yet to actually eat any of it. From the smell of it, it was beef, his favorite. It didn't make it any more appealing to him at the moment, but it was something to do with his hands.

Leaving the couch, Iruka crossed over to his stereo system, sitting on the floor carefully. Feeling around, he eventually found the stack of albums he kept in careful alphabetical order. Counting covers with his fingertips, Iruka selected from the middle of the stack and set the album to play. He frowned. Wrong album. He'd have to get someone like Sakura to help him re-organize them, as they seemed at least slightly out of order. Iruka tried again, and this time found the one he wanted.

Somehow the music playing softly in his ear only made the silence stronger. This of course didn't make any sense at all, and Iruka realized this. There were a lot of things that didn't make sense to Iruka right now.

Ten minutes since Kakashi left. Twenty since he'd talked to Tsunade. A half hour ago… Iruka didn't know what had happened.

No. That wasn't right.

Iruka knew perfectly well what had happened. He'd caved in to Kakashi's advances, and then quite willingly returned them.

Iruka told himself it hadn't been willingly at all. He hadn't been thinking straight. Kakashi was a manipulative bastard that way, and Iruka had been confused and emotionally imbalanced beforehand. Iruka told himself he hadn't meant to allow Kakashi a second chance. Iruka told himself he hadn't been thinking straight when he'd kissed Kakashi back.

_You're pathetic_. He told himself. _You can't figure out what the hell you wanted._

It didn't matter anyway. In four to six months Kakashi will have forgotten about him anyway. All for the better. Iruka slapped off the stereo again. It wasn't helping. Standing, he took a tentative bite of the ramen.

He made a face, pursing his lips and crinkling his nose in distaste. The ramen had gone cold. Going back into the kitchen he threw it in the trash. Oh well.

"I need to get out of here for a while…" He told himself. He went to his room to grab a civilian jacket and his-Kakashi's-_Yondaime Hokage's_ -hitai-ate. Iruka suddenly wished Kakashi had taken it with him when he left, but it was still there where he'd left it, neatly folded on top of his bedside table. Iruka told himself he exchanged the one he'd been wearing for this one because his own hitai-ate was frayed and faded and generally not looking too nice. Kakashi had preserved the Hokage's gift for decades in near-perfect condition.

Trying to find something less confusing to think about, Iruka left his home.

---------

Kakashi took a moment to crouch hidden in a tree overlooking the gates leading out of Konoha as he watched Iruka walk up to where Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were gathered, waving cheerfully to the trio. Iruka had been the last person Kakashi had neither expected nor wanted to see as he left Konoha, but he stopped to watch anyway. No one had a clue he was up there in that tree, and he was safe to get a few last looks before he disappeared from everyone's lives for a few months. He watched Naruto dash foreword and hug Iruka warmly, and bit his lip under his porcelain mask to fight back the weird pang of jealousy he felt. Kakashi knew he would never feel satisfied with the type of love Iruka gave to Naruto. He watched Sakura and even Sasuke greet Iruka, and could easily read the girls lips when she asked Iruka what was wrong. Whatever Iruka said, Sakura looked mildly confused, and Sasuke looked entirely unsatisfied with his answer. Heaving a sigh, Kakashi silently wished the best for Iruka and his three students, and vanished.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Iruka grumbled, pulling at the wet cuff of his pants irritably, scowling at anyone who might be watching him. Some how Tsunade's instructions to Team 7 to 'help out' Iruka had turned into 'train with.' As hard as possible, as often as humanly allowable, as long as Kakashi was off on his mission.

The first three weeks had been nice. Iruka had appreciated the help from the trio, even if their idea of 'helping' usually meant more trouble than there was to begin with. Furthermore, Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto made a _lovely_ distraction from real life.

Real life meant several things to Iruka. First and foremost, his ongoing blindness, though he was overcoming that by leaps and bounds every day. Not long ago, under the cold supervision of Sasuke (much to Iruka's chagrin) he had managed to cook himself a three course dinner without aid, and had been fending for himself completely since. Real life also meant Kakashi. Or, more accurately, the absence of Kakashi.

Iruka had been greatly irritated, and alarmed, the first night after Kakashi's departure, to find himself calling to the Jounin several times before he got it through his own head that the man was simply no longer there. It hadn't been too difficult an idea, but then, without Kakashi, Iruka had instead started searching for Tomodachi, actually having climbed into bed and _waited_ for quite some time for the friendly canine to show up. It had been a nasty, and oddly hurtful shock to realize that Kakashi had even taken the dog.

_And when the hell did I start thinking about Kakashi like he was an ex-husband or ex-wife or whatever the he… _Iruka groaned again, thumping his fist against his bare forehead to clear his mind -he only succeeded in giving himself a headache- and forced himself to focus on the situation at hand.

It had been seven weeks since Kakashi had left on his mission. Five since Iruka had managed independent living at last, and last week, he'd started taking simple missions with Team 7 in Kakashi's stead.

Today however, he had a different mission. Somehow, a simple day of training with the kids had turned into a deranged form of tag, when someone had snatched up his - Kakashi's -_Yondaime Hokage_'s - hitai-ate, right off his eyes. Iruka sighed, as he stretched out and tried to figure out which of his former-students and current 'playmates' had the precious item, hoping to high heaven that it wouldn't get damaged at all during the romp. They didn't know any better, but he couldn't let himself live with destroying Kakashi's most precious…

_God damn it!_ With a snarl, Iruka shook his head to clear it once more and then dashed towards Sakura, who unfortunately was closest, and still the slowest of the group, and caught her in a fierce headlock. The girl gave a squeal of protest, batting at Iruka's shoulders with both hands.

"Eeaah! Damn it, Iruka-Sensei! I don't have it!" She shrieked, playfully batting at him again.

"Well then who does!" Iruka demanded, trying to let himself laugh rather than worry.

"I'm not telling!" Sakura declared, voice rising defiantly. Iruka switched his grip on the girl, moving so he could hold her with one hand and attack the ticklish spots of her ribs with the other. Sakura let out a gratifyingly shrill scream as she burst into hysterical giggling. "Uwaah! Iruka-Senseiii!"

"Tell me who has it!" Iruka demanded, dropping his voice into a falsely threatening tone. "Otherwise I'll tickle you blue!" He proceeded to do so until Sakura crumbled under his viciously clever interrogation technique.

"NARUTO HAS IT!" Sakura wailed at last. Iruka smirked, and dropped the girl, disappearing to the other side of the field where he could sense Naruto hiding. Naruto let out a scream as he was similarly captured and interrogated. Five minutes later Iruka finally came strutting out of the bushes with his hitai-ate back in place, a smirk on his lips.

"Jeez. Took you long enough." Sasuke commented, dragging the still-twitching Naruto back into the open with him.

"That was so mean Iruka-Sensei!" Naruto whined. He was still misty-eyed from all the tickling, and sulking to boot, since he'd lost.

"You're worse than Kakashi-Sensei!" Sakura accused. "That's _just_ the type of evil thing he'd do to us!"

"_Sakura!_" Sasuke hissed the warning but the words had already come tumbling out of her mouth. Iruka went still, the smug look vanishing from his face. Sakura grimaced, shooting Sasuke an apologetic look.

Mention of Kakashi never bode well in Iruka's presence, and as predicted, he fell into a stony silence almost instantly. Sakura bit her lip.

"Umm…Iruka-Sensei?" She began tentatively.

"Hm?" Iruka didn't turn her way as he answered.

"Are you alright?" Iruka was silent for a long time, contemplating his answer.

"I think I twisted my ankle when I was chasing Naruto-kun." Iruka lied. "I'm going to go home and ice it before it swells." He was already walking away and waved at them over his shoulder without turning around. "I'll see you guys tomorrow. Don't kill each other or burn anything down." He added, trying to tease and failing miserably. Team 7 stood in silence, watching their beloved former Sensei leave.

Stomping through his front door, Iruka bypassed all rooms in his apartment in order to flop down angrily onto his futon. He bounced dully, sprawled onto his back and staring up into the never-ending darkness of his world. He was getting pretty sick of black.

_At least you don't see pink when you go blind…_ A disgustingly optimistic corner of his mind told him. Iruka grumbled to himself, blaming the plucky voice of his conscience on too many years spent around Naruto. Naruto had always, _always_ put new meaning to the words 'it could be worse' for Iruka. And so, here Iruka lay, considering the terrors of an all pink world instead of an all black one. _I'm going insane… _

Iruka had always been subject to sudden mood swings. It was a part of his personality, and he understood that about himself, as did his friends and colleagues. Lately, though, his moodiness had gotten bad even by his standards. As he lay alone, feeling morose and dejected, Iruka realized that he should have just brushed off his sudden drop in mood and continued on with Team 7. It would have been good for him, and it was cruel to just leave them like he had. Iruka knew they worried about him, knew that they cared. He had noticed the careful avoidance of Kakashi's name, and had been grateful for it.

_Fat lot of good it did you, stupid…_

Kakashi.

Iruka wondered what the other man was doing at this moment. Probably hidden, tired, sweaty and hungry, under a rock somewhere. Long-term missions were never comfortable. Especially for someone as high in rank as Kakashi was, Iruka knew this all too well.

He hoped Kakashi was alright. That much Iruka had admitted to himself. As much as he liked to say that he hated the smooth-talking, smart-assed Jounin, Iruka did not wish misfortune, or death, or anything truly unpleasant upon the man. He was just irked that he'd gotten himself pulled into Kakashi's world; One where nothing was ever quite-right, and usually infuriatingly insane, if the way Team 7 were maturing was any sign of what a long-term influence from their Sensei was capable of.

_And now they're comparing me to him… _Iruka wasn't sure he liked that, but on the same account, somehow felt oddly…honored. Kakashi was well known and even often admired for his quirky wiles. In a community full of almost certifiable ninja, that was saying something.

Iruka sighed heavily, sinking back. God, his mind was wandering in all sorts of weird directions this afternoon. Giving up on thought, Iruka simply laid back and relaxed, hoping that maybe he could sleep some of his frustration off. Not that it had ever worked before, and he'd tried many times over the last seven weeks, but it was worth one last try.

---------

Somewhere, distantly in the back of his mind, Iruka knew he was dreaming. Mainly, because he didn't know how he'd gotten to where he was, and because Kakashi wasn't due back in Konoha for several more weeks.

Dreams being as they are, however, Iruka didn't have much thought to spare for that notion at the moment.

He was surrounded by pure white, a warm luminescence that made all he could see stand out starkly brilliant to him. It hadn't been this way at first. His dream had started with him walking down one of the many smaller side streets of Konoha, admiring the trees, just sprouting into spring, and the beautifully blue sky, dotted with a few white fluffy clouds and birds. In his dream, Iruka knew it had been a very long time since he'd seen the beautiful trees of Konoha, but did not remember why.

His peaceful moment to himself had been broken by the sight of none other than Hatake Kakashi, striding up to him purposefully. Iruka frowned, knowing he didn't want to see Kakashi any time soon.

Not a sound was made as Kakashi quickly -too quickly- cleared the distance between them, his body pressed against Iruka's as he yanked his mask down to kiss Iruka hard and passionately on the mouth.

Sparks shooting down his spine and breath catching, Iruka leapt back, hand coming up automatically to slap Kakashi across the face.

The scene changed oddly at some point as Kakashi staggered back, and when Iruka blinked again, he was surrounded by white, and staring down at the man now kneeling before him.

Kakashi's shirt, mask, and hitai-ate had somehow vanished. Iruka didn't look to see if the rest of his clothing had gone too. The man looked ghost-like, surrounded by pure white, his pale eyes, hair and skin almost disappearing into the background.

But Kakashi didn't disappear. He remained, gazing up at Iruka with deep, matching pale blue-gray eyes, wearing the most absolutely crushed expression Iruka had ever seen. Iruka swallowed, watching Kakashi's eyes water slightly as the man turned to look away slightly, lips drawn in a tight line as he apparently fought to control his emotions.

"I'm sorry."

Iruka didn't know who was apologizing to who. If he spoke, he didn't remember doing so, and he hadn't seen Kakashi's lips move.

Around them, their world was turning black, the brilliance fading to gray around the edges of Iruka's vision. Kakashi seemed to glow against the darkness, and Iruka took a few last moments to examine the man before him. It was with something of a shock that Iruka realized that he had known Kakashi's face all this time, without even realizing it. It was not unfamiliar, nor was it inaccurate, though he had both his eyes, and the scar that went with his Sharingan was missing. In fact, all of Kakashi's scars were missing, though Iruka didn't know how he knew this. There had been a small one, barely visible, just under the right corner of his lip, on his chin, and another arcing darkly across his shoulder, coming dangerously close to his throat. There had been more, across his arms and hands, but Iruka saw none of them, nor did he understand how he knew they would be there in the first place.

Kakashi lifted his face to look back up at Iruka, distracting the Chuunin from his musings. He smiled sadly, gaze steadily meeting Iruka's.

"This is my underneath the underneath. This is who I truly am, Iruka."

Iruka's breath caught, somehow startled. He didn't think anyone had ever, truly _seen_ Kakashi for who he really was.

_You're beautiful._

Iruka almost said the words aloud, but woke up suddenly instead.

He sat upright, eyes wide and staring for a long time before Iruka remembered he was blind. It was several more minutes before he realized what he'd dreamt about. Even more time passed before Iruka's breathy whisper broke the exact silence of his room.

"Oh God…"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN:

Oh. My. Freaking. Gawd! I just wanna put my head in a blender or something.

This chapter was such a freaking pain in the ass to write. It just REFUSED to happen. And on top of finals, and work, and then more work because our season just kicked in (my family sells plants) I have had NO time to write. It sucks. Last wednesday was my first day off. Admittedly, I spent the day doing nothing when I could have dragged my sorry ass thorugh the rest of this chapter, but I just needed a break.

that said, MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES TO EVERYONE! Not only for the long wait, but the crappy chapter. I know this one is shorter, and it jumps around a lot, and isn't very coherent (some of that is intentional though) but damn I had a hard time with it.

Those of you giving me (much appreciated!) constructive criticism and input, please be gentle this time. Although in hindsight if anyone has any suggestions as to what I could do more of with this chapter, that'd be great. You'd get a revision later. Maybe. Provided I don't die. XD

1) Baby Kakashi is so fun to write for XD He's adorable ne?

2) I can't remember if I read it somewhere else or thought it up myself, but I couldn't help dropping in the idea that Kakashi reads Jiraiya's books because they feature his Sensei. 3 Just to have some memory to him, you know? I'm sorry if I stole that from someone XD I didn't mean to but I honestly can't remember. I'm always filing little thoughts like that away.

3) XD Iruka Sensei's lost it. And he knows it.

Finally we make some progress! XD hehe.

4) The game of tag with the kids was utterly useless. But kind of a moment to relax anyway. I can see Iruka getting into playing with them like that, even if he was only forcing himself to have fun.

5) That funky dream sequence hit me like brick between the eyes. I had the idea of Iruka dreaming about Kakashi for like...ever, but it suddenly got really deep. If you didn't understand that, essentially Iruka saw Kakashi's soul.

Dreams have always been kinda meaningful to me so you'll get a lot of them in my writing XD

6) Apparently, I turned in enough of this fic to my Creative Writing class that my teacher wanted the link to my page here on XD To any of you who've read my other stuff... well, this is definitely my masterpiece in writing at the moment and I'm just hoping to high hell that she doesn't go and read some of the old stuff XD it's so embarrassing to have people I KNOW read my stuff lol. XD I think the only person I know personally who knows I'm a YAOI whore is Wiggles. XD... Well...and the whole of my English class now. hee XD

Oh yeah, and to any of you that are reading who are into Final Fantasy 7 (I know you're out there :stares:) my good buddy Amani Ishikawa (here on and on deviantart ) has this really fun fanfic going centering on Cid Highwind, and what would happen if he and Shera went their separate ways instead of :groans: getting married. Amani's OC Raye Shields is freaking hillarious, and her spitfire chemistry with Captain Crusty is so much fun. Shera's got a new man too. It's fun, and very different from any other pairings out there, since they're all fresh characters. Amani and I have had a LOT of fun brainstorming ideas for this (having gotten a sneak preview up to chapter 18 (only 12 are posted as far as I know) I can tell you things are getting REALLY good XD

Anyway, the fic is called "My Happy Ending" and should be a lot of fun to any Cid fans (like myself) out there. Go read and review. XD After you review my fic that is. heeheehee :)

oh wow. I almost wrote more in my notes than I did on the fanfic. oops. Well it's been a while and I had a lot to say I guess.

R&R people! I love you!

MRE


	22. Chapter 22

_**Blind**_

22

Another seven weeks later brought the first sunny day in half a month, the Konoha temperatures having dropped at the apex of winter. Today's weather was somewhat of a freak occurrence, but appreciated all the same.

Iruka turned his face up to the sky, feeling the rays of sunlight pouring down through the chilly air, warming the skin on his face. He wondered if he'd gotten paler in this cold winter, or if his usual dark complexion had withheld.

Not that it mattered much. He'd never see himself again to know.

Iruka missed the sunlight terribly. Not that he couldn't feel it, but he knew there was a deep beauty to the sight of golden sunlight filtering through the leaves of the forest, lighting the trees from behind in a brilliant green glow, spots of rich blue filtering in from beyond.

That was maybe what Iruka missed the most. And watching Naruto's face light up when he offered to treat the boy to ramen. Everything else, Iruka had decided, he could do without. He didn't _need_ his eyesight anymore. He could function just fine blind. He even got color in his dreams still, sometimes, though now it was more confusing than anything. He didn't need to look to know when Sasuke was sulking, or Sakura blushing. He could hear a kunai flying towards his head as well as he could ever have seen it, maybe even a little better. And even if he couldn't hear it, he could sense it through his Second Sight jutsu, chakara vapor trails always clinging to objects for quite some time after they've been touched.

"Ne, Sakura-Chan, when do you think Kaka-Sensei will be back?" Naruto's question floated lazily to Iruka's ears. Team 7 and he were sprawled out in the grass, not really caring about the sogginess of it, taking a break. They were supposed to be training, but there was a lazy air about the day, and most of Konoha had taken the day off to celebrate the good weather. It was good, Iruka thought, to take the time to quietly worship the sun every now and then.

"He's not supposed to be back for a couple of more months, Naruto." Sakura sounded a little irritated by the question. She had a right to be, Iruka supposed. Naruto had asked the same question twice daily for the last month.

"Don't tell me you miss him, Dobe." Sasuke piped in. This discussion had become something of a weird daily routine. The conversation rarely changed, though Sasuke was beginning to sound bored with this particular game. He never had appreciated Naruto's tunnel vision much.

Iruka didn't hear Naruto's response, though he imagined it was a violently loud one. He'd gotten accustomed to tuning out the antics of Team 7 and could now begin to understand some of Kakashi's reasoning in the way he dealt with his students. They required special skills all on their own, forget that you had to be good enough to be teaching genin in the first place.

Iruka sighed. He didn't blame them for missing Kakashi. There was a special spark between the Jounin and his students, though it was usually hidden under mock anger, challenges and relentless teasing. Iruka could see that his former students had lost some of their shine without Kakashi's influence. There was only so much that Iruka himself could do for them.

_Paff!_ Iruka blinked under his hitai-ate, shaking his head violently in surprise. A single, fat raindrop had just come careening down out of the sky and splattered gushily against his forehead.

When had the clouds come back? It wasn't until he'd been hit by rain that Iruka noticed that he could no longer feel the sunshine on his face. He felt childishly disappointed, almost robbed, the change had come so quickly.

"Aaah!" Iruka let his vision turn to Naruto, who had leapt from the ground, and was trying to cover his head with his hands as more raindrops fell, spattering about and disturbing their relaxing moment.

"We'd better get inside before it dumps on us…" Iruka said, climbing stiffly to his feet. The ground had been cold, the sun warm, and his body was oddly out of balance from the mixed temperature extremes seeping through either side of him.

"It's just rain." Sasuke commented. Rain or shine, the boy still trained relentlessly. Iruka wondered if they should all take a page out of his book, or if Sasuke's attitude was an unhealthy one.

"I agree with Iruka-Sensei!" Sakura argued.

"Yeah yeah! Sakura-Chan, you did your hair this morning, didn't you? I bet it's a lot of work, we don't want to let the rain wreck it huh?" Naruto chimed. Iruka watched the boy wiggle out of his jacket, snorting softly to himself. "Here! Use my jacket!" Iruka sighed. Naruto would never learn, it seemed. Iruka could count the half-seconds down to Sakura's outraged scream.

"EEYAH! NO WAY NARUTO! THAT'S SO FREAKING GROSS! YOU'VE BEEN SWEATING IN THAT ALL WEEK!" Below the din of Sakura's screeching, Sasuke could be heard groaning. "WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WASHED THAT THING ANYWAY!"

"…Washed?"

Iruka winced.

_How the hell does Kakashi live with them!_ Just one at a time, and they were adorable. Even all three of them, when they were tired, or wanted something, or anything where they might be on their best behavior, and they were adorable.

The rest of the time they were a complete nightmare.

"AAAH! NARUTO-KUN YOU'RE SUCH A DISGUSTING IDI--"  
"It's Kakashi-Sensei."

Sasuke's lowly voiced comment couldn't have been much above a whisper, but all heads turned towards the forest as a figure strode out. Even from a distance, the kids could make out Kakashi's distinctive slouch.

"Oh my god!" Sakura lowered the fist she was about to hit Naruto with, and Naruto, who'd been cowering in wait for the blow, straightened up. Iruka frowned, and pushed extra chakara into his jutsu, centering his attention in on the figure approaching them.

Kakashi's chakara was low, and his posture screamed exhaustion, but his silhouette, now gray-white, was unmistakable to Iruka. The Chuunin tried his best to ignore the weird dropping feeling in his belly at the image of the other man.

Kakashi waved limply when he noticed that he had been spotted.

"Yo." He could feel Iruka's jutsu brushing over him, and smiled wryly, impressed at the strength and solidity of the careful brush of chakara. It had always been so shaky before.

Iruka bit his lip, still studying the other closely through his jutsu. Kakashi was covered in hundreds of thin lacerations, gleaming white with escaping chakara to Iruka.

"What happened!" Sakura demanded, running up to him.

"Hm? Oh these?" Kakashi lifted an arm, which was spotted even more thickly with scratches. "Ha, I accidentally disturbed a blackbird nest about a kilometer back and they all rose up to the defense of their home." He laughed as he said this, but something in his tone told Iruka that Kakashi didn't quite think it was funny yet. Maybe in a few years, but not right now while it still hurt. Iruka had had a run-in with blackbirds once when he was little. For such small and seemingly harmless creatures, they could be viciously territorial and aggressive. He smirked just a little, not feeling too sorry for Kakashi.

"Shouldn't you know better?" He asked. Blackbirds were a part of the forest, and therefore a part of Konoha. All of the village's citizens were familiar with the local wildlife. They knew what to avoid and what was safe or useful. Kakashi should be no exception.

The change was instant as Kakashi's head snapped around to look at Iruka. It wasn't that he hadn't noticed Iruka, because he most certainly had. It had been the rising sound of Iruka's laughter that had led him towards this clearing and not the town gates twenty minutes ago. But now was different as Iruka acknowledged his presence, crass as that acknowledgement was.

The mood changed between the two shinobi, and Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto stepped back, watching the pair uncertainly. None of them were sure of what exactly had transpired right before Kakashi's departure, but they were clever enough to know that there _had_ been something.

Kakashi's evident exhaustion shifted, mingling with and then disappearing within an awkward tension, even as Iruka seemed to pull himself up straighter where he stood. There was a moment of silence where Kakashi stared, knowing instinctively that Iruka was staring right back.

"Yeah." He said at last, answering Iruka's question. "I should. But really, after the last three months, a few blackbirds, I thought, would be the least of my problems. I pushed my luck too far, I guess." Kakashi might have smiled, or faked a smile at least, his eye arching happily. "Let's just say I decided to take a few pecks and scratches to get home sooner."

"Looks like you barely made it." Iruka commented. His tone of voice was calm, but his companions winced at the standoffish words.

"You think Tsunade-Sama will take it as a good excuse if I take the rest of the day off and turn my report in late?" Kakashi joked, laughing softly. Iruka opened his mouth to tell Kakashi what he thought of that but Sasuke cut in.

"Aren't you early?"

"What day is it?" Kakashi asked, blinking.

"December sixth."

"Oh! Is that all?" He was early. Kakashi shook his head. _Of all the weird things to happen to me…_

"It's been three months and two days." Iruka said, abruptly cutting off as soon as the words had escaped his mouth. He grimaced just a little as he felt all three kids turn to look at him, most likely with weird stares. He had not, _not_ meant to say that. Hell, he hadn't even meant to have been counting, but he had a mathematical mind, and it was easy for him to keep track of dates like that. In a way, he couldn't help it. He bit his lip. "You missed Naruto's birthday." He said, trying desperately to cover up his own embarrassment. "We had a lot of fun."

"Oh, did you miss me?" Kakashi said, to no one in general, and very much to Iruka in particular. Iruka didn't know how to respond to this, but Kakashi decided that he didn't want to put Iruka on the spot, and so he went on talking. "So, Naruto. What did you get for your birthday? A date with Sakura-Chan?" He winked at the boy.

"No…" Naruto sounded like this had been something he actually wanted. "But Iruka-Sensei got me a new jacket! Sakura-Chan and Sasuke got me some cool stuff too! I'll show you later!"

"Why aren't you wearing your new jacket then?" Kakashi asked.

"I didn't want to get it all muddy!"

"Oh! I get it! Iruka-Sensei's gifts are pretty special aren't they?" Kakashi said, his chirpy voice betraying the seriousness of his words. "Not something to be treated carelessly." Sasuke snorted at Kakashi's comment. Iruka cringed, Naruto didn't get it and Sakura covered her eyes with one hand. Yes, they had all learned that Iruka's gifts, especially when concerning Kakashi, were not to be squandered. Iruka had a single resentful moment to appreciate the fact that Kakashi had apparently learned his lesson.

"Kakashi-Sensei, you must be really tired, do you want us to carry your gear back into town for you?" Sakura offered, glancing at Iruka, who was starting to almost visibly ice over. She shivered. All around them, the rain was beginning to fall with more conviction, and they would all be soaked soon.

_What is it with Kakashi and rain?_ Iruka wondered, with more than a little irritation as they all began to tromp across the field back towards town. As promised, Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke each carried some of Kakashi's gear: his katana, his small weapons, and Naruto lagging behind with an over-stuffed satchel that secretly contained Kakashi's ANBU uniform and mask. The only item Kakashi still carried himself was his father's chakara blade.

"You've gotten stronger." Kakashi commented quietly as he kept stride with Iruka, who could only wish quietly that Kakashi would just leave him alone.

Iruka didn't answer him. He felt rather dizzy, actually. Kakashi's presence did that to him, sometimes. Iruka blamed his own frustration with the man resulting in a shortness of breath. A dark secret within him warned that that wasn't entirely true.

"You're moving like a shinobi again." Kakashi went on quietly, somehow understanding that Iruka didn't feel like talking. He would try to carry a conversation again himself then. Their last moments together had been too awkward, and he wanted to bridge that time into history as fast as possible, and let it be forgotten. "I bet that some day you'll even--"

"Kakashi. Don't."

"I'm sorry." Apparently, Kakashi wouldn't be able to let the past slip away as easily as he had foolishly hoped. In retrospect, Kakashi realized that it would be stupid to even dream of such a thing. Iruka was a teacher, a historian by nature. His mind was calculating, memorizing every detail of everything about the world around him. He was incapable of simply forgetting.

"It's hard, you know." Iruka said quietly. "When you really have no escape from your own world…"

"I want to say I understand, that I know how you feel, Iruka." Kakashi murmured. Ahead of them, Sasuke had glanced over to peer at the pair suspiciously. "But I don't, and I can't until you let me get close enough to try walking in your shoes." Iruka stiffened a little at Kakashi's words. Kakashi knew he would. He wondered if Iruka would just turn around and slap him someday, telling him to go to hell. "And that's your choice to make. You decide whether or not I'll ever understand you. For real."

"Don't think I've just forgotten, Kakashi." Iruka said.

"I don't expect you to." Kakashi was beginning to think he wouldn't mind the slap. He practically bled desperation, wanting nothing more than to touch and be touched by Iruka. Precious moments that he'd let slip away in one idiotic moment of selfishness.

_You really screwed up, that time, Kakashi,_ he thought,_ love is selfless. You give, not take without permission._

"This is yours, by the way." Iruka pulled off the hitai-ate he wore suddenly, handing it over to Kakashi. Kakashi sighed, looking at Iruka's eyes. The cells had died completely, leaving the entirety of his eyes a frosty white. No longer were there traces of darkness where his irises had once survived. "You know, I worried for three months. I know that is a very special item."

"You took good care of it." Kakashi took the proffered item and stashed it carefully in the front pocket of his flack vest. He had known that Iruka would never accept a precious gift from him.

"It was harder than you might think."

"Thank you…Iruka…"

"I said don't. Three months wasn't enough." Iruka said again. "Please, I need to be left alone." He could feel Kakashi's energy ripple at his words, and what little energy the man was holding onto vaporized. Iruka felt a little guilty, but he knew that if he let Kakashi push him, he would only become cruel, on top of the coldness, and he didn't want that, for either of them. _Why can't this be something simple that can be solved in a 'yes' or 'no' fashion, like the flip of a coin? _An image, a month and a half old, but strikingly real, flashed into his mind. Kakashi stared up at him, smiling sadly, eyes watering in bittersweet hopelessness. Iruka physically cringed. _I'm sorry. I don't know what I want. _You were so sure you did know what you wanted, a voice whispered. _Something changed though…Now I'm just confused. _Ooh, poor you. Imagine how _he_ feels.

"I understand," Kakashi said. "Honestly…" He went on quietly. "I think I always knew better. It just can't be helped. But I had a lot of time to think this winter."

"I can tell." Iruka whispered. That image wouldn't get out of his head now, and it was making him begin to feel choked up. Kakashi cast him a cautious, sideways glance, sensing Iruka's unrest.

_I'm sorry._ "Maa, I'll take the stuff from here guys. Thanks for the help." Kakashi said, striding foreword to gather his belongings from his three students. Naruto relinquished the satchel with a groan of relief.

"But we're only like two blocks from your house Kakashi-Sensei!" Sakura argued. "There's no point in giving up now." Kakashi, his thoughts still on Iruka, heard her words differently, and cringed.

"Naruto is about to collapse, and besides, I've carried these things for three months, another two blocks won't kill me." Kakashi said, forcing a smile. "Besides, you guys are slow. I want to get home and take a shower, have a nap, and then find something real to eat. But thank you!" With that, Kakashi disappeared in a poof of chakara smoke.

"What happened?" Sakura said, glancing about, trying not to fix her stare on Iruka, who had his head down. Naruto shrugged.

"He's tired, Sakura. You try spending three months on a mission," Sasuke said. He came up to the girl, grabbing her arm. "Come on, I'm hungry." He started off, Sakura tripping after him. "Hurry up, Dobe. See you later, Iruka-Sensei."

Iruka stood, baffled, as the trio disappeared around a corner.

---------

"What was that all about?" Sakura had waited patiently until they had seated themselves at Ichiraku's, but couldn't hold back her confusion any longer.

"Don't tell me you didn't notice." Sasuke said.

"Eh?"

"Something happened between those two, _already_. That's why Kakashi-Sensei turned tail and disappeared so fast."

"Bad?" Naruto asked.

"Well, judging from that sappy grin of his, yeah probably."

"…Huh? I don't get it."

"He only gives us that cock-and-bull fake grin when he's depressed, Dobe." Sasuke shrugged at his own observance, stirring his noodles with his chopsticks. He was really, truly sick of ramen.

"Come to think of it, you're right…" Sakura murmured.

"I wish he wouldn't do that." Naruto grumbled. "It would be a lot easier to figure those guys out if Kakashi-Sensei quit faking, and Iruka-Sensei didn't ice over like he was related to Sasuke or something…"

Behind the counter, the owner's daughter stifled a snort of laughter. Ayame had a lot of time to watch Team 7 without them really knowing it, and she understood Naruto's reference to Sasuke's attitude perfectly.

"Dobe, if it were that simple, there probably wouldn't be a problem between them."

"My, Sasuke-Kun, you seem like quite the professional at matchmaking." Ayame said, winking. Sasuke spun in his seat to fix her a hard stare.

"You're eaves dropping!"

"No, you three are loud." She pointed out, smiling. "Don't worry," She said. "I won't cause you any trouble." She paused, glancing around. Her father was in the back of the shop, which was otherwise empty of patrons. "In fact…I might be able to help you. Let me know if I can, okay?" She winked again, and then glanced back at her father, who was coming out into the shop again. "So, who's footing the bill today?" She grinned, even as Sasuke groaned, eyeing Naruto's pile of bowls.

"Me…again."

"Oh Sasuke-Kun, who ever knew you could be so sweet to your Sensei and your teammates!"

---------

Kakashi stepped out of the shower and sighed morosely, glancing about his silent apartment. Dust had gathered on top of his dressers and bookshelf. The food in his refrigerator was rotten and there was no way he was sleeping in a bed that had been sitting gathering dust for three months.

"See, this is what I hate about long missions." He was systematically putting an ointment on all of the bird scratches he'd gathered in the woods. He couldn't help but feel embarrassed about that. He'd been in such a hurry to get home, that he'd neglected some very basic rules of the wild.

"Oh suck it up." Pakkun, at Kakashi's heel, grumbled.

"It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't so damned tired," Kakashi went on, ignoring the pug. "But I'm exhausted!" A pause. "And sore now too! Why didn't you chase those damned birds off!"

"It's not my fault you're a neat freak. You've slept under a rock for several weeks, a little dust isn't going to kill you." Pakkun ignored Kakashi's question, deciding he didn't want to admit to being lazy.

"But if I don't do it now," Kakashi went on, already dressed and moving to tear his bedclothes apart. "It'll never get done. What if Iruka-Sensei were to see this?"

"He's blind you moron. And aren't you over him yet?" Pakkun went over to the pile of sheets Kakashi had just dumped on the floor at the foot of his bed, and curled up in them, already prepared for a nice long nap himself, even though he'd just woken up from one.

"No, I'm not." Kakashi's voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, coughing slightly in hopes of blaming his slip on the dust. "And honestly, I don't think I ever will be, either. But…well, I give up… No point in trying to push him and only have him hate me more…" Kakashi added in a whisper.

"Peh. You're a melodramatic pussy." Pakkun commented. Anger flashed through Kakashi's eyes for a brief second.

"You want steak for dinner or not, dog? You're useless enough as it is, can't you at least try and pretend to be a little supportive?" Kakashi stomped across his room, pulling out a clean set of sheets. He made the bed quickly, moving almost reverently.

"Oh bite me, asswipe."

Kakashi pulled off his sandals and chucked both of them lazily at the summon. He missed, more or less intentionally. Grumbling, he flopped onto his bed, rolling under the covers and burying his head under a pillow.

"Whoa, hey, aren't we getting food?" Pakkun asked.

Kakashi didn't move.

"Kakashi?"

Nothing.

"What about your mission report?"

Kakashi's silence rang loudly through the silent apartment, and Pakkun frowned.

"Yo, Asswipe! …Kakashi?"

Kakashi began to snore softly, whether it was on purpose, or sincere, Pakkun couldn't tell. Sighing in defeat, he flopped back down into the old sheets for another nap himself.

"Jerk. I'm calling Animal Rights."

---------

"….Why are you here?" Iruka sat up, glaring at the pudgy little pug that sat on the armrest of his couch, staring at him.

"Kakashi's being a bitch and I'm hungry." Pakkun said flatly.

Iruka snorted, actually laughing a little. He was feeling a little hurt at being abandoned by the kids. He didn't really have any close friends in town anymore, though he got along just fine with almost everyone, and was once again set into a wave of confused emotions at Kakashi's reappearance. He wanted nothing to do with Kakashi. He wanted even less to do with Pakkun. The dog had always annoyed him, long before he even really knew Kakashi. To Iruka, the creature was an ill-bred, ungrateful little fleabag, with nothing to offer anyone but sarcasm. And even when he was on his best behavior, he reminded Iruka of Kakashi. Another mark against the little monster.

"Aww, poor doggie. Look, I've had a shitty day. Go bug someone else."

"I'll call in Tomodachi…" Pakkun offered. Sharing part of his brother's, and Kakashi's consciousness, Pakkun knew how close Tomodachi and Iruka had grown. It was rather pathetic, really, but it worked as a handy means of getting what he wanted. "I can do that, you know, as leader of the pack."

Iruka's eyebrow twitched and his lips quirked. He sat still on the couch for quite some time, poised like a statue of deliberation, and probably weighing out the pros and cons of folding to Pakkun's offer. He knew he was blackmailing him, in a way, but… He sighed.

"There's a bowl on the bottom shelf of the fridge with tin foil over it. Inside are some leftover meatballs. You can have them. But if you touch anything else, I'm turning you into sausage and feeding you to Choji." Iruka said, fixing his finest teacher glare on the dog. Pakkun shivered a little at the threat, but raised a paw in salute.

"Yes Sensei!" With that, he leapt off of the couch and trotted happily into the kitchen. Iruka listened to the dog's movements, and took a moment to wonder how the hell he got the fridge open. There were no catastrophic crashes, only a small thunk of ceramic settling down onto his tiled floor, and then the sound of the refrigerator door closing. There was a happy yap of delight and the sound of foil crinkling, then a pop. Moments later, Iruka watched the familiar shadow of Tomodachi wander into the living room to join him.

"Hello, Iruka-Sensei."

"Hi, 'Dachi." Iruka sighed, feeling tired. Why did everything have to be so much trouble? He was tired just from _thinking_ about Kakashi. _This day started out to be a good one. _

"What's wrong?" Tomodachi interrupted Iruka's bitter musings, though Iruka was rather glad for the interruption. He didn't like to feel so bitter, but again, Kakashi seemed to bring out the worst in him.

"Just tired, I guess." Iruka said softly.

"That's a lame excuse, you know." Tomodachi said wryly, bounding up onto the couch to cuddle down beside Iruka, who reached out to scratch the canine's ears automatically.

"Who said it was an excuse?"

"I live with Kakashi. I've heard it all." There was a hint of laughter in Tomodachi's voice, which always surprised Iruka. He forgot sometimes that Kakashi's summons weren't human.

"I'd rather not talk about Kakashi right now, thank you."

"Oh, so _that's_ the problem." Tomodachi said thoughtfully. Iruka twitched, a little irritated by the dog's insight.

"You're too smart to be a dog." Iruka commented.

"I'm really only half dog. My being is fueled by Kakashi. We're each a piece of him. That's what summons are about. I am a piece of him, as is Pakkun, and we were all a piece of our master before Kakashi, and the one before that. That is how we exist, and how we are bonded."

"I don't see much of you in Kakashi, 'Dachi."

"It's in there. You just have to learn to see differently." A pause. "I know you are very good at adapting your sight, Iruka-Sensei. That's what made you such a fine teacher, and that's what has helped you recover from your disability."

"I'm tired of adapting," Iruka said. "I've adapted every day of my life since before I could tie my shoes.

"You and every shinobi in this village."

"Where did you get all your wisdom from?" Iruka asked abruptly. "I _know_ you didn't get that from Kakashi." He never thought he'd find himself being psychoanalyzed by a dog.

"I suppose any wisdom, and perspective on humanity I possess did indeed come from my former master."

"Hatake Sakumo?" Iruka asked. He remembered, just barely, tales of the legendary White Fang of Konoha. Kakashi was a legend himself of course, automatically from birth, simply because of his blood. Kakashi, however, had also managed to form his own reputation, but it had all started with the genius Hatake Sakumo.

"No. Kakashi's Sensei. The White Fang had no love for us." Tomodachi let his head drop to Iruka's knee, yawning. "He preferred our more instinctual cousins, the wolves."

"Oh. That makes sense. It should figure, really."

"I suppose."

Tomodachi lifted his head again as Pakkun waddled fatly into the living room where he and Iruka rested. The room was dark - Iruka had no need for lights unless he had company- as the sun had set, but Pakkun's scent was unmistakable to Tomodachi.

"Brother."

"Yo. Iruka-Sensei. Thanks for the grub. My compliments to the chef."

"That would be me. The kids have done a great job of helping me adjust to living on my own." Iruka paused, smirking. "Mostly because their help was so pathetic that I was forced to fend for myself."

"Sounds typical," Pakkun laughed. "Are you staying Tomodachi?"

"For a while, yes. Iruka-Sensei and I were having a stimulating conversation about our former masters. It is nice to have intelligent conversations every now and then."

Iruka laughed at Tomodachi's comment, and scratched his ears with more enthusiasm.

"Haha. You mean intelligent as in not Kakashi." Pakkun chuckled.

"Or yourself." Tomodachi countered wryly.

"Har har. You're a fleabag." Pakkun sat back on his hind legs and gave Iruka another paw-handed salute. "Oh, speaking of the Dunderhead, I've got great news for you, Sensei. Apparently Kakashi's finally given up on you. Bet that made your day, huh? Well, thanks again for the grub. Later Dachi." Before either man nor canine could respond to Pakkun's statement, the now quite fat little pug had disappeared into a poof of chakara smoke.

Iruka scowled. He was sick of these people…dogs…person…Kakashi and company… all of them just saying things and then disappearing!

_Cowards…Honestly, you'd think they would have the nuts to stand up to a blind Chuunin… _And actually, for some reason, the news that Pakkun had brought him _hadn't_ made Iruka's day any better. It may, in fact, have made it worse.

"You're stronger than you think, Iruka-Sensei." Tomodachi said, making Iruka jump.

"What?"

"Did you not mean to say that out loud?" Tomodachi smiled, but Iruka wasn't putting out enough energy to see it. The man pouted slightly, scratching at the thin line arching across his nose in a gesture of mild discomfort.

"No…I didn't."

"Well I agree nonetheless… Except that I believe you're more of a force to be reckoned for than you think. Kakashi wouldn't care so much for you if you were weak, you know."

"I still don't get it."

"Love isn't something people understand. It just is."

"How would you know, you're a dog."

Iruka wished the second he'd said that, that he hadn't. He feared he would hurt Tomodachi's feelings, but as usual, nothing seemed to phase his loyal friend, and Tomodachi merely gave a snorting chuckle.

"My former master told me that once. Ironically, about Kakashi."

"It would be a lot easier if one could understand it…or Kakashi for that manner." Iruka sighed.

"It isn't so hard to understand him. He speaks the same language as the rest of us. You just have to tilt your head kind of sideways to read the writing properly. It's a little tricky, but once you've got it, you never forget."

"I've tilted my head so much lately I've nearly snapped my neck, Dachi."

"Then you're tilting too far. Just a little. I've heard Kakashi tell his students to look 'underneath the underneath.' But you know what? He's a complete hypocrite." Iruka's head swiveled around so he could look towards Tomodachi properly. "The rest," Tomodachi went on, ignoring the glance he'd earned, "you have to figure out yourself."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Woot! I'm writing again! I'm so sorry about how I've been neglecting you all lately. Honestly, I've ran out of excuses. I just didn't feel like writing. I know we've all been there, so I'm not going to jump off a bridge about it or anything, but I'm sure I've made more than a few of you nervous that this fic might be abandoned.

I'm really happy with how smoothly this chapter came out. It took me all of about 5 hours to write, just today, and that includes when I blasted home to edit it. I know my focus on dialogue has increased, but I tried to go back and throw in more details here too. My style has changed a little through this story, but the story has kind of changed what needs to be focused on.

That said... specific notes for you... :)

1) Kakashi hasn't really given up on Iruka. He's just trying to tell himself he has. Which means of course he's even more lovesick than ever.

2) Pakkun... I make him look like such a little asshole here, but I think that things are different between he and Kakashi, than with anyone else. I can see him treating Kakashi (oddly enough) like something of a little brother. They pick on eachother because it comes naturally. Pakkun is so proud that it annoys Kakashi. So they vent by name calling. XD That said, "Asswipe" has been one of my favorite lines lately. XD I don't know why. Just think it's kind of funny.

3) I don't know exactly what Ayame will have to do with the plot, but she was bound to catch wind of what was going on sooner or later, as Team 7 pretty much uses her shop as their base of operations... But I've kinda got half an idea actually that I'd better go and write down right now before I forget... XD

4) Yes. Tomodachi is just this wise little philosopher. XD He has a good memory, and he has a lot of wisdom from the Fourth to give to others. :) And he's helping Iruka figure himself out. Yay Dachi!

5) And yes, blackbirds are evil XD Though I really wouldn't know personally. I've seen them take on some pretty big critters though. Kakashi was being a dumbass. Probably addled by the sound of Iruka's laughter. hee XD

6) haha. Iruka said a bad word. XD He seems so OOC when he swears, but he's having a rough day.

Okay guys! R&R! I love you!

MRE

PS: OMG! I looked at a friend's favorites, and it had my fic and one of my all time FFVII favorites, Fusion, listed next to eachother, and as of last night, I had like 10 more reviews than Fusion. It's so exciting! TOTALLY inflated my ego. I'm not really a competitve person, and I shouldn't really be counting reviews the way I am, but I'm an attention whore, and it was just SO inspring to see that I'd somehow surprassed one of my greatest inspirations. OMG All of you go read that fic though, wheter you know about Final Fantasy 7 or not. It's super-awesome.

And Cid Highwind buffs go and read Amani Ishikawa's "My Happy Ending" too. I've been helping her with ideas for that fanfic and it's getting really fun XD 3

OK. Go review now.

Cheers!


	23. Chapter 23

_**Blind**_

23

Another week had passed, and Iruka found himself standing beside Kakashi in Tsunade's office.

That in itself should have come off as foreboding to Iruka, but at the moment he was stuck mulling over his conversation with Tomodachi from the week before.

It was a good thing that he was slightly behind Kakashi because Iruka was actually physically tilting his head to the side, in an attempt to 'read' Kakashi 'properly'. The man couldn't see him and Tsunade had not yet entered the office. Of course, it didn't matter if he was hanging upside down from the rafters, his Second Sight jutsu saw things all the same anyway. Iruka's sense of direction had become rather addled because of it, but not necessarily in a bad way. He now saw everything in six dimensions, instead of three. At the moment he was actually trying to consciously rotate the axis of his perception, both as an exercise, and in an attempt to try and see Kakashi at a different angle.

The whole thing was entirely idiotic, of course. Iruka wasn't actually aware of his actions, or he would have realized this. He'd simply been toying with his visual limits, zooming in, out, panning his awareness out to the whole building, then the block…that was about his limit, and then honing in on one of the still scabbed bird scratches on Kakashi's elbow, which happened to be concealed by two layers of fabric.

Iruka's vision suddenly righted itself guiltily as Tsunade entered the room, and he straightened up, realizing almost too late that he probably looked like a total moron.

_Good thing Kakashi didn't turn around…_

Yes. Suddenly Iruka was acutely aware of how he appeared to the other nin. He still couldn't quite figure out what it was in himself that Kakashi had found so irreplaceably special, and it bothered him. It couldn't have been his looks. Or his smarts, or his skills.

Actually, it was all of the above and then some. Kakashi had been careful to tell him this several times, back when Iruka had been staying in Kakashi's care, but the Chuunin would not believe any of it.

_You're just fixated._ He thought sadly to the Jounin, watching the muscles under Kakashi's skin ripple slightly with chakara as the Hokage entered. _You say you want me, but it's not true. It can't be. There's nothing to **want**_

"Iruka-Sensei please stop staring, you're going to make me blush."

Iruka jumped, scowling on reflex at Kakashi's softly murmured words. As far as Iruka could tell, Tsunade had been too busy settling down to have heard, but Iruka's ire was piqued now.

Kakashi gave himself a smug grin as he felt Iruka's attention divert pointedly away from him. He had felt the gentle butterfly brush of chakara against him the whole time they'd been alone together in the room, noticed Iruka probing his figure off and on in silence. It took a certain learned set of skills to recognize the feel of Iruka's jutsu, but Kakashi had been there to watch it develop from it's very birth. He'd watched Iruka struggle through trial and error and sheer desperation as he perfected his own better way of seeing the world. Iruka's jutsu had become even more subtle since Kakashi had left Konoha and returned again, but Kakashi had a special sense just for Iruka. He didn't miss a thing with the Chuunin.

The Fifth Hokage raised an eyebrow as she looked up to see Kakashi looking rather smug, and Iruka pouting fiercely. She fixed Kakashi a look.

"Hatake, please stop terrorizing Iruka-Sensei."

Iruka smirked and Kakashi began to make a small sound of protest, and she cut him off.

"Don't deny it, I can tell from both your faces you were up to something, Kakashi. Iruka-Sensei only pouts like that for you." Iruka's jaw dropped briefly before he snapped it shut again.

"But he was staring at me first!" Kakashi whined boyishly. He was smirking under his mask, enough so that the outline of his lips could actually be seen under the dark fabric, hiding nothing from Tsunade. She looked over at Iruka. He was blushing terribly.

Interesting.

"Kakashi, he's blind. The blind do not stare."

Very, very quietly, almost too quiet for Kakashi, who was right beside him, could Iruka be heard sniggering softly.

"Ha."

Kakashi's head snapped around as he fixed Iruka an incredulous look. This was not how his teasing was supposed to go. He realized distantly that he'd been had, though it was a minor victory on Iruka and Tsunade's part.

"Hatake." Tsunade's firm voice stopped him from any further retorts. "I called you both here for a reason."

"Of course you did, Hokage-Sama," Iruka said, his shoulders going back sternly. He had not _not_ been staring at Kakashi, and he had _not blushed_ at the thought of it exciting Kakashi, and he had _not felt even the slightest bit flustered_ when Tsunade had accused him of pouting for Kakashi, and Kakashi alone. He shuddered slightly. Did he really pout? Like a schoolgirl? Or worse…

_NOT_ _going there! _Absolutely not.

Tsunade was handing Kakashi a scroll.

"I'm sorry, Iruka-San, but I didn't get the message to the Missions Office in time for them to permeate their inks with chakara for you, so you'll have to have Kakashi-Kun read it to you."

"W-wha? Isn't that kind of thing against regulations?" Iruka frowned.  
"Not when the reader shares the mission." Tsunade sat back, smirking a little at Iruka's confused expression. The young man certainly made some of the damned cutest faces. Kakashi shifted, looking mildly uncomfortable. "There are some strange nin lurking in the forest about a kilometer's distance from the protected borders of Konoha. We do not know if they are friend or foe, and you two-" she paused there for mild emphasis, "are to go out and explore the area and figure out what's going on. This mission should only last a day or two. You'll either find them within our security bubble, or you wont. They will either be friend, or foe. Treat them accordingly. Kakashi,"

"Yes?"

"You'll be commander, as you outrank Iruka. Try to behave."

"Yes Hokage-Sama." Kakashi was looking paler than usual, which surprised Tsunade.

"Iruka, this is a B-Ranked mission because we don't know what we're dealing with, and because it'll be just the two of you -_and don't you make that face _at me!" Tsunade's voice rose as Iruka shot her an incredulous look.

"Demo, Hokage-Sama---"

"We're all adults here." Tsunade cut him off. "I know you two aren't on the best of terms. Tough cookies. Iruka, you have a unique gift that gives you an insight into your surroundings that is above and beyond any other shinobi in this village." Iruka blushed, stunned at the compliment. "You said yourself you wanted to try a more advanced mission. This plays on your abilities, not Kakashi's. You'll be able to spot your targets long before you're within visual contact. Kakashi is with you in case something goes awry. Consider it advanced training."

Iruka had gone quiet. Not pouting, but perhaps distant in deep thought.

"Kakashi?" Tsunade went on. "Promise to behave? I don't want to have you two coming back soaked in each other's blood. That is not the way of the ninja." She gave him a long serious stare. Kakashi cast his gaze away, turning to the silent figure beside him.

"I've learned my lesson, Iruka-San." Kakashi said, addressing Iruka directly in hushed tones, as a means of responding to Tsunade. "My mission to Cloud Country has given me quite some time to contemplate professionalism on missions with other nin."

Listening to Kakashi, Iruka felt no relief. Not because he did not believe the man. The softly utterances were so sincere Iruka could practically feel them on his own voice.

_I should be relieved,_ Iruka thought sadly, _but all I feel is emptiness. Something big and hollow and taking up a whole lot of cold space inside of me._

Somehow, though, the revelation that Kakashi really _had_ given up on him was disheartening.

_Maybe I am that easy to forget…_Iruka was letting his thoughts spiral quickly, and jumped with a irritated hiss when someone suddenly reached out of the darkness to grip his shoulder gently.

"Iruka-Sensei."

Iruka snapped his jutsu back into focus to glare at Kakashi, tensing. Kakashi pulled his hand away from Iruka's body quickly, visibly grimacing.

"I'm sorry. You left us there. I thought that would be nicer than shouting or pranking." Iruka tried to relax.

_It's no wonder he's given up on you, you asshole._ Iruka thought to himself bitterly.

"N-no it's okay. I'm sorry. You startled me." Iruka said, mood sinking further still.

"Well, sorry." Kakashi said.

"Alright you two," Tsunade broke in, shuffling a few papers meaninglessly on her table as she spoke. "You're dismissed. I want you out tomorrow morning. Use the rest of today to prepare however you deem necessary.

Both ninja bowed and left the building.

---------

Twenty five hours later found Iruka picking his way through the rougher forest floor, following the white blur of Kakashi's chakara silhouette. They had ventured off of the main path leading through this corner of the forest, and Iruka was having a little bit of trouble with the rough terrain --he couldn't see some of the deader leaf and wood matter and kept stumbling. Finally, he'd given up on carving his own path independent of Kakashi, and was now carefully tracing the afterglow of his footsteps. Focused on his footsteps, Iruka was caught by surprise when Kakashi suddenly stepped aside, pulling Iruka with him to press against the broad trunk of a very old tree.

"What?" Iruka whispered, edging his arm out of Kakashi's grip and starting to reach out with his senses, trying to figure out what it was that had set Kakashi off.

"Duno," Kakashi whispered back.

"Where, then?"

"Your four 'o clock."

Iruka stretched, to his limit, and a little past, and just barely caught a glimpse of a number of human figures.

"How long have they been there?" Iruka asked, frowning.

"Just appeared. What can you see?" As Kakashi spoke, Iruka could hear the gentle squeak of well-worn leather as Kakashi brushed his kunai holder open.

"Not much yet." Iruka replied, shifting anxiously. He was suddenly incredibly nervous for some unknown reason. "Look like they're probably ninja though, that much is sure… civilians don't glow like that…"

"Glow?" Kakashi gave Iruka a weird look, but it was ignored. Iruka had been deathly serious through the whole mission, though it had been little more than a half a day so far.

"Chakara."  
"Oh." Kakashi smiled. "How much?"

"Less than you." Iruka turned his head about, still anxious and not understanding it. His gut fluttered in an uncomfortable way and his chest felt cold, and he _knew_ it wasn't because of Kakashi, for once. Iruka had been forced to quickly come to terms with the sensations Kakashi's close proximity caused within him during their day. This feeling was much less acceptable. "There's…at least three of them…"

"Is that all?" Kakashi straightened up and looked as if he might just charge in and invite them all to tea.

"Wait!" Iruka hissed, reaching out and actually grabbing Kakashi by the back of his vest, pulling him back. "Wait."

"What?" Kakashi searched Iruka's face, but his eyes were covered by a tattered old hitai-ate, and therefore mostly unreadable, though the Chuunin's lips were drawn thin.

"Kakashi, I have a really bad feeling about this." Iruka's voice was tight, and Kakashi frowned a little.

"Okay," He started to move again but was yanked back firmly before he could even straighten up.

"No. I'm not shitting you Kakashi. _Be careful_."

"Wouldn't it be easier for you to just let me go and get my ass kicked so you could run back to Konoha and get reinforcements?" Kakashi asked, not meaning for his words to come out as bitter-sounding as they had. He noticed instantly how Iruka stiffened indignantly.

"_What_!"

Kakashi winced. He knew that Iruka was not one to abandon teammates, even those he did not like, in an act of self-preservation.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that." He apologized. "Hey, you think we should just wait here for a few more minutes until they get closer and we can size them up better?"

Iruka relaxed.

"Yeah." He kept a hold of the back of Kakashi's vest anyway. Both crouched down at the base of the tree as Iruka reached out through his darkness again to cautiously brush against the other ninja. "There's four. Probably Chuunin. They… SHIT!" He ducked as a kunai flew past his head, and Kakashi vaporized only to reappear behind another tree nearby.

Kakashi swore softly to himself as the four, apparently enemy ninja appeared in the narrow clearing where he and Iruka had paused. Glancing back at Iruka, crouched low in a defensive position, Kakashi cringed. He had not wanted to get this far away from his teammate. Iruka was strong, true. He was perfectly capable, but Kakashi was compelled to protect him anyway. Love had the strange power to render one unreasonable in the strangest of categories.

"Who are you!" Iruka demanded, holding up his kunai awkwardly. Kakashi frowned. What was he doing, posturing like that? "Stay back!" Iruka's head turned about uselessly, and his hands shook. He looked cornered. Kakashi smiled.

_Clever, Sensei._

"Heeey! Koma, look who it is!" One of the nin smirked deviously. Kakashi, keeping a watch from a safe distance -they hadn't seemed to have noticed him yet from his hiding place- noted that none of the quartet wore village symbols. Rouges then, all probably low-class missing nin.

"It's the little bitch that escaped us last fall." Said another, this one female. She and Koma laughed.

Iruka had gone sincerely pale, and Kakashi _hoped_ that the trembling in the man's hands was still faked.

"Go home, you have no business here." Iruka growled backing up slightly, away from where Kakashi was hidden. The Jounin blinked, startled by the maneuver. Surely he knew where he was…

"How'd you survive, Bitch?" Koma growled, stepping foreword. He was a burly, ugly ox of a man, and Kakashi's sensitive nose could pick up months of neglected hygiene. Iruka's head swiveled towards Koma, but the angle was off. Kakashi relaxed a little. Good. Still faking.

"Ha! He's fucking blind, Koma! Poor little Bitchie can't see shit! 'S why his eyes are all covered. You got lucky, whore!"

"K…Kashi…?" Iruka asked, not wanting to drop Kakashi's full name. He wanted as much surprise on his side as he could manage. He ignored the taunts, though memories of his previous encounter with this group were starting to bubble up from deeply repressed memories. His heart was thundering in his ears and his blood began to boil quietly, not quite noticed.

A brief moment of pleasure flashed through Kakashi's ribs as he heard Iruka use the nickname but he pulled the feeling away, hiding it away for later.

"Ha! Not alone, huh?" The fourth ninja called out. He too was burly, but not as much as Koma. All three men dwarfed the woman, petite as a mouse but obviously far fiercer. Her eyes flashed viciously as Kakashi stepped out of hiding just enough to be noticed.

"These…they're the ones who…" Iruka began, voice low and tight.

"Made every one of this little Bitch's buddies scream for mercy." Koma finished. He smirked, showing yellow and thoroughly gapped teeth. "Better be quick." He pulled out a kunai, visibly dripping with a hazy liquid. "One scratch and yer fucked."

"Oh?" Kakashi asked mildly. He was starting to feel a little concerned about the situation.

"What ya doin' out here with a fucking blind cripple, anyway?" The girl snarled. Kakashi smiled.

"Maa…Just playing ninja."

"Yer gunna meet your maker! And after we watch you regurgitate your own intestines, we're gunna off your little Bitch here too!" The smallest of the burly ninja shouted. Kakashi easily dodged the kunai that was flung at his face, and with an outraged roar, all four ninja rushed at him.

Something in Kakashi's one visible eye darkened considerably. Iruka, unable to see directly, still felt the shift in the other man's mood, and shivered. With all four distracted for a brief moment, Iruka slipped out of sight.

---------

"Ne, ne! Ayame-Chan!" Naruto grinned at the girl behind the counter through a mouthful of ramen. "What do you think you can do to help us get Iruka-Sensei and Kakashi-Sensei together!"

Ayame giggled.

"Ohh… I don' know… maybe make Iruka-Sensei jealous? I can flirt with Hatake-Sama or something."

"It won't work." Sasuke murmured. He sat poking at his ramen with distaste. He was tempted to go puke up what he'd already eaten, just to keep from getting fat from all of the ramen he'd been eating. He didn't understand how Naruto could keep so thin with all the fat and carbs the boy consumed. "Iruka-Sensei won't fall for that, and I don't think he's the jealous type anyway." Ayame frowned, irked at being shot down.

"Well…" She tried again. "Maybe we can spike their ramen with a powerful aphordesiac or something."

"Oh god." Sasuke covered his eyes, as if to block out the mental images. When this method didn't work, he began thumping his head down on the counter repeatedly. Sakura giggled.

"Hey! That might work!"

"What's an a--a- afro-dee-see--…uh?" Naruto asked, struggling with the word.

"It's 'aphrodisiac' you moron!" Sakura snapped.

"Whatever! What is it? It's not going to hurt them, is it!"

This time Ayame giggled.

"Well someone might strain something, but I doubt it'll be harmful."

"Huh?" There had only been one time in the history of Konoha where anyone had ever worn a blanker expression than Naruto currently displayed. The record holder was, ironically, the Yondaime Hokage after his sensei had offered to make him a star in a new series of books he planned to publish.

"Aphrodisiacs make you horny, dobe." Sasuke drawled at long last. Naruto turned bright, bright red from the ears down to well below the collar of his new jacket that Iruka had given him.

"Oh."

---------

Kakashi was dodging and parrying the various weapons attacks that were being thrown at him with all the grace and beauty that could possibly be expected of Konoha's infamous Copy Nin, a kunai in each hand, and an intense stare in his singly visible eye. He was not afraid of his attackers. In balance, he was also quite concerned for Iruka's safety, and kept a wary eye on the quartet and their exceptionally dangerous weaponry.

Above in the trees, a white-eyed Chuunin crouched in silently, scanning the scene before him with growing worry. He was utterly invisible because no one considered him a threat. All it would take was one mistake from Kakashi, however, and the Jounin would be in some serious trouble. Not that Iruka doubted Kakashi's abilities, of course, but the risk stood despairingly naked before him. Iruka wasn't sure what to do. He could go down there and fight. He knew that. He could probably even take at least a couple of the enemy nin out, just on the surprise factor. He had already been labeled helpless in their eyes, and was therefore not a threat. He remained forgotten. Again, however, all it would take was one single mistake, a poorly blocked parry, a slip in the mud, anything, and Iruka could very well die. And with his death, Kakashi could easily follow.

Death was inexcusable.

"Shit!"

Iruka's focus snapped around through several Live Oaks and Beech trees to Kakashi, who staggered slightly, clutching at his shoulder.

Shit.

One of the ninja laughed triumphantly, and the other three gave out a cheer.

Kakashi turned, ripping his mask down just in time to vomit off to his side, falling back against a tree, where he leaned for a moment before collapsing into a heap.

_Shit!_ Iruka took a final look, noting Kakashi's heartbeat and breathing… both were above normal, but did not appear dangerous yet. _The cut must have been too shallow to deal a full dose of the poison…_ His own heart thundering, Iruka leapt out of the tree silently, pulling a kunai out as he moved. _This is it…_

Kakashi's world was spinning hazily, and he lifted his head to try and focus on the four ninja standing over them. He could get up, if he really had to, but they seemed convinced that they'd felled him in a single strike -which they probably would have if he hadn't only just barely been scratched. The poison acted almost instantaneously, and Kakashi worried he might pass out from the offending substances in his body. He wiped at his face, which was beginning to bead up with sweat, and subtly pushed up his hitai-ate, peeking out from under it with his Sharingan. The world around him seemed a little less fuzzy through Obito's eye, the powers of the Uchiha relic lending him extra strength and clarity. He tilted his head back, vaguely spotting Iruka leaping out of a tree.

_No!_

Kakashi began to shift, struggling to sit up. He felt hot, and woozy, and now he felt a frozen wave of panic rush through him as well.

"Haha…Go and struggle! You're useless!" Koma growled, standing back and crossing his arms over his chest haughtily. "And, soon enough, you'll be _dead_!"

Behind the quartet, Iruka circled silently. Kakashi tried not to watch the Chuunin, realizing that at the moment, Iruka might be his only chance of survival.

_I could die for you, but it won't do either of us any good if you get yourself killed too, Iruka…_ Kakashi's stomach lurched violently again. Whether it was from the poison seeping greasily through his veins, or out of anxiety, Kakashi couldn't tell. Maybe it was both.

There was barely a whisper as one of the four ninja suddenly fell to the ground, a deep, grinning gash arcing across his throat, spraying blood over his companions. The single woman in the group gave a scream of startled outrage as the body fell over her sandal clad feet, and her two surviving companions turned.

"The hell!" Koma turned, glancing back at Iruka, who stood slightly hunched, panting, the single kunai in his hand a dripping relic of violence. Iruka had dashed in and cut Koma's throat as well, before his companions could do anything to do fight back. Finally, the two remaining ninja leapt into action, giving twin screams of rage.

Kakashi, feeling woozier by the moment, watched with filmy detachment as he sagged against his tree. Iruka turned, skidding almost awkwardly, but hauntingly graceful, in order to dodge a swipe of a kunai across his face. Kakashi gasped, worried, but couldn't bring himself to move. He tried, desperately, his heart thundering in his ears and his mind spinning, and his very soul reaching out beyond his own body in his desperation to reach to Iruka, to help him. Iruka gave a low cry as he stabbed another, the woman this time, and Kakashi could hear the sorrow in his voice, at having to kill, even in self defense. Every cut he made hurt him personally. Kakashi's eyes watered in sympathy.

Sound faded away from Kakashi. The world was turning gray, and he could see the last ninja's lips moving, but couldn't hear the screamed oaths he knew must be spilling forth. Iruka's own lips were parted as he gasped with effort. Kakashi nearly screamed himself when a crude hunting knife swiped dangerously close to Iruka's eyes, cutting the fabric of his hitai-ate away. It fell with a soft clink, strangely loud to Kakashi in his humming world of silence.

Silver flashed in livid energy as Iruka danced, dodging, swiping, cutting, moving back in. Kakashi struggled further, and eventually staggered to his knees. He could hear Iruka give a scream, but before he could rise fully to assist, Kakashi's world went black.

---------

"…Kakashi… _KAKASHI!" _Iruka's voice cracked slightly as he shook the limp Jounin. Kakashi could hear, and felt his heart shatter at the tone of his teammate's voice, but couldn't bring himself to even open his eyes.

_"You'll have to wake up sometime, kiddo." Kakashi turned over, snuggling into his bed, ignoring his Sensei._

_"No, I don't." He said after a long pause. His bed shifted slightly as the man trying to wake him settled down beside him with a sigh._

_"Kakashi, I know you don't-"_

_"Maybe I'll just die here." Kakashi said softly, not moving. _

_"Don't be melodramatic, Kashi. It doesn't suit you." There was just the slightest tinge of irritation in the Yondaime Hokage's voice, making Kakashi scowl. _

_"What do you know!" He sat up suddenly, glaring viciously at his Sensei. His …Obito's uncovered Sharingan spun vividly. He'd finally lost some of his baby fat, and now looked like the mature young man he was. His glare was sharper, more menacing than in his extreme youth. Today was the first anniversary of Obito's death, and his Sensei knew that perfectly well. Everyone did. It was understandable that Kakashi wanted to be alone, that he felt depressed. _

_His glare was cut short by the warm embrace of the most powerful nin in the history of Konoha. Kakashi shivered before finally relaxing. His sensei smelt of pine and maple, and all things beautiful, clean, and wild. _

_"I know more than you think, Kakashi."_

_"I know…" Kakashi didn't want to cry, but if Sensei continued to hold him this way, he was going to, and soon. "I just…"_

_"C'mon, Kakashi. Everyone's waiting for you."_

_Kakashi…wake up._

Kakashi's gray eye flashed open suddenly, and he jumped, gasping. The memory, and the voice, disappeared.

"Iruka!" He had heard the man scream. _God…let him be okay please!_

The near scream echoed slightly, and only when Iruka screamed right back at him, did Kakashi realize that it was Iruka who'd woken him in the first place.

"Fucking hell Hatake I thought you were dead!" Iruka yelped. "Are you alright?"

"What about you?" Kakashi demanded. His voice shook, and he closed his eyes again.

"Kakashi…"

"I'm not telling you a thing until I know you're okay, Iruka!" Kakashi said.

Something fluttered in the pit of Iruka's stomach, and he realized he couldn't ignore the feeling this time. Not when he'd just gone into a violent rage in Kakashi's defense. He could feel the enemy's blood soaking into his clothes, making him feel dirty.

_I couldn't bear to see you die…_

"I'm fine." He said finally. Kakashi gave a relieved sigh.

"Good….good…." Kakashi coughed, turning his face to spit out some bile that had risen into his mouth, grimacing.

"You're not fine." Iruka observed. Kakashi gave a dry laugh.

"I'm not going to die…yet… Can't move too well though…" He sank back from where he'd been pulled into a sitting position, shivering.

Despite the situation, Iruka gave an exasperated sigh.

"Great. Kakashi, why'd you let them get you so easily? You're better than this…" Kakashi kept his eyes shut, listening to Iruka move. He didn't want to open them and discover that he too had gone blind. Iruka heaved another sigh, shifting Kakashi's weight until his silvered head rested across his knees. Kakashi sighed a little. That made the Chuunin blush, which in turn made Iruka grump aloud as he pulled off his flack vest to dig through the pockets, patting each of them as he searched for a specific item. "You're supposed to be protecting _me_ you dope. Some infamous Jounin you are." He didn't mean it, of course, and Kakashi could tell, even in his half-delirious state. He knew perfectly well that Iruka was probably teasing him in a desperate ploy to avoid panicking. There was the rip of paper as Iruka unwrapped a tiny syringe he'd been carrying. "God, I knew this would happen." He snapped the seal on it almost as if it had offended him personally.

"…Iruka? I think I'm going to be sick again, you might want to move…" Kakashi warned.

"Hang on a second…" Iruka said, his voice softening suddenly. There was a soft plastic rattling sound, and then Iruka pushed up Kakashi's sleeve gently. "Tsunade made this for me while you were away… it was mostly as a reassurance, I never expected to actually need it. But I kept having nightmares about the kids getting attacked…" Kakashi gasped as something pricked his arm, right under the crook of his elbow. It was cold, and ached up into his neck, lingering. He felt cold and queasy, and turned suddenly away from Iruka, vomiting into the leaf litter. He felt guilty for making a mess so close.

Then he felt mostly fine.

Kakashi opened his eye, blinking in surprise, glancing over as Iruka pulled the syringe out of his arm. He tried not to shiver. He hated needles.

"Iruka… Was that--"

"Guh…" Iruka swayed suddenly where he knelt, and Kakashi sat up, noting how pale the man was.

"Iruka?" He hadn't gotten poisoned as well, had he? Kakashi crawled onto his knees and reached out to the Chuunin, concerned.

Iruka swayed a little more, grimacing. His eyes were shut against the world, and he was shaking violently.

"Overdid it." He mumbled.

He promptly passed out a half a breath later. It was all Kakashi could do to try and catch him before he fell completely.

"Shit! Iruka!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN:

two months...

... :dies:

X.X

This chapter was such a freaking bitch to write. It doesn't help that life has only gotten crazier and crazier as the summer's stretched on, and now I start school in a week from Monday. Blegh.

So you guys know, once school starts, I will have ONE day off each week, between school, and my two jobs (one of which is my involvement in my family's home business, which is therefore unavoidable ----...even on and especially weekends.

I hate plants. XD lol.

But anyway. I'm not going to abandon this fic, but it may take a while to get these last few chapters done. It was a shear stroke of good fortune for myself, and everyone else, that I happened to have the time and lingering energy (and more importantly, focus) to finish this chapter today. It's sat written down to the last few paragraphs, for about a week. I couldn't think to finish it, and had an even harder time trying to go through the rest of it and edit... ,

So. Yeah. XD Mako's been crazy busy. lol. Or dead tired. or both.

That being said, try to limit the reviews/comments that simply read "when are you going to update?" because I don't know XD I don't blame anyone for getting frustrated. I'm a little pissed at me too, but try to pretend you love me anyway. Thoughtful reviews inspire me, get me excited, and make me want to write more. (which is a good thing, yes?)

...In lieu of all that, you probably noticed that this chapter was terribly disjointed. If you didn't, it's probably just because I got lucky XD

Forgive me. Maybe when things slow down this winter, I'll go back and edit all of these newer chapters to give them more clarity, and the same intensity as some of my first chapters. I'm trying, and I really do take pride in holding myself to the highest standards possible, because I'm always trying to make my writing better. But for now, this is my best :)

Meanwhile, I'm beginning to wonder if this'll reach 30 chapters... it may, at this rate... O.o I keep thinking I'm almost done, but then I remember some other little detail... Which, again, was part of my probelm with this chapter XD I had about a chapter and a half of ideas, and I either had to condense it down into one chap, or stretch it into two.

I tried stretching, but that would have given everyone another goddamned filler chapter, and we all know how us Naruto fans are feeling about filler ANYTHINGS right now (:cough:KakashiGaiden:cough:) so It's a little crowded, but far better than the alternative.

R&R if you haven't given up on me: P

MRE


	24. Chapter 24

NOTE:

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO'S STILL READING! YOU'VE ALL BEEN INCREDIBLY PATIENT, THANK YOU!!!! (How can I repay you:) )

_**Blind**_

24

"He's still asleep then…"

"It's not surprising, they way those two came in."

Somewhere, in the deeper echoing places of Iruka's psyche, people could be heard speaking. In his exhaustion, however, Iruka was not compelled to pay them much mind, and continued sleeping. He was nowhere near consciousness at the moment. His whole body virtually trembled with fatigue, limbs going between numbness and a weird buzzing tingle. If he had been awake, Iruka might have felt breathless, as if he'd just run a marathon.

He had, in a way. But that had been four days ago.

"It's a good thing you made up that antidote, Tsunade-Sama."

"It was more of a comfort item than anything. I never expected him to actually need it. The credit is to you. If you hadn't done the research on that poison, I would have just given him a placebo." Tsunade sighed as she sat on a stool at the foot of Iruka's bed, staring sightlessly at the IV drip leading into the man's arm. It was a quiet winter's day, and not much was happening in Konoha. Beside her, Shizune stood with a clipboard, scribbling notes. The soft scritch scratch sounded oddly muted due to the light coat of snow that had settled on the late morning outside.

Both women turned as the door whispered open, well oiled hinges causing not a sound in the quiet hospital. The figure who stepped in raised a hand in silent greeting.

"Still out, huh?" Kakashi said as he slipped into the room, shutting the door carefully behind him. All lingering illness from the dose of poison he'd received had dissipated two days before. His nervous system, which had already fallen under attack in the short minutes before Iruka had administered the antidote, remained blessedly intact. All that had affected Kakashi upon his arrival in Konoha was a lingering nausea. That too had faded quickly.

Kakashi was sent home after spending a night in the bed beside Iruka's. He returned the very next evening, and the morning after that, and that evening.

Twice daily, Kakashi appeared like clockwork to visit Iruka. The Chuunin was healthy. His life was no longer endangered, though if he'd been left alone, it may have been. Now he slept soundly, and quite heavily. He was not comatose. There was a definite response to sounds, and every day, when Kakashi came and sat down on the edge of the bed, running his palm lovingly over Iruka's forehead and into his hair, Iruka's nose would wrinkle in a silent protest.

Tsunade watched the Jounin cross the room, slipping into his morning ritual smoothly as he seated himself gingerly next to Iruka's limp and slightly paler than usual hand. Today he took Iruka's hand into his own, holding it even as he caressed the man's face with his free hand.

"You have to wake up soon," Kakashi whispered. "I'm starting to worry about you." Behind him, Tsunade and Shizune exchanged a look. He held Iruka's hand a little more firmly, pushing chakara out of his own palm and into Iruka's fingertips, through his hand, his wrist… willing his own energy into Iruka's body. Despite his efforts, Kakashi gave a gasp of surprise when Iruka's fingers curled around his suddenly, his grip strong.

"You….just can't leave me alone, can you?" Iruka croaked. His eyes opened automatically, and he tried to turn to look at Kakashi, and swore softly. He'd forgotten his blindness once again. The battle seemed so far away, the whole world so distant and hazy. He held onto Kakashi, using the mans' presence as an anchor.

He knew it was Kakashi, though he hadn't heard the man's soft whisperings moments earlier. The second Kakashi's chakara had brushed his own, circulating into his body and energizing him, the familiar presence had jarred him into consciousness. Iruka was immediately aware that he'd been asleep for a very long time, though how long, he had no idea.

"I was sleeping, you know." Iruka said groggily, his voice wry and slightly teasing.

"For four days." Kakashi laughed back softly.

"I see you're healthy." Iruka countered. His fingers played against Kakashi's softly. Iruka was aware that this was a rather odd thing to do, but he was tired, disoriented, and Kakashi's hand was soothingly warm. His chest sparked softly when he first realized what he was doing, that being when Kakashi's own fingertips responded to the gentle prodding reluctantly, poking back at Iruka's knuckles, but now Iruka settled down into a sleepy comfort, finding that he didn't have the energy to pretend to care.

"You saved my life." Kakashi's hand tightened around Iruka's warmly, and stayed that way. "I…" Kakashi cut off, not quite able to admit his fears aloud. At the time, the battle had been in the forefront of his mind, but in retrospect, Kakashi felt a horrific aftertaste of the intense terror he'd felt. Fear of dying. Not so much for himself. Most of the time, Kakashi didn't think of his own death as something to be worried about. He survived out of instinct, and the need to complete a mission.

Or to protect someone precious to him.

There was no telling what would have happened to Iruka if Kakashi had died. While Kakashi had likely only survived intact was because of Iruka, Kakashi had been left with an unconscious, _helpless_ man in his arms to drag back to safety. There was no telling if the four ninja they'd run into had had more friends waiting nearby. There was really no telling if the antidote Kakashi had received would even _work_. Not at the time, anyway. Kakashi had recovered enough to grab Iruka, sling his body over one shoulder and run like hell for almost an hour, whereupon he collapsed at the gates of Konoha in a dead faint as well. He'd woken up that night in the hospital, just in time to receive another injection.

He had jumped up immediately, not because of the syringe poised over his wrist, but because he had no idea where Iruka was.

There had been several long minutes of chaos, whereupon the needle had broken inside of Kakashi's arm, several tables overturned, and Kakashi had tripped over his own IV cord and fallen, all the time screaming for Iruka.

It was about that time that Tsunade plus several ANBU had come in and calmed Kakashi down by force.

Held from behind by Tsunade and one other nin, Kakashi had been forced to calm down enough to focus on Iruka's figure, still and lit by moonlight near the window.

This hadn't exactly calmed Kakashi down, but Tsunade quickly explained the Chuunin wasn't dead, just sleeping.

The next hour had been spent getting the needle out of Kakashi's arm.

Now as he sat staring down at Iruka's face, trying to express his passing fears, Kakashi felt his eyes wander to the tiny but still healing scar across his wrist. It looked like a bad attempt at suicide. Tsunade had told him later once he'd recovered fully, that she'd never seen him go though such an irrational state of mind since he was too young to talk.

He shouldn't have really let himself take that critical hit in the first place. It was pathetic, really. His performance as a ninja had been dismal.

_I bet Naruto could have done better, even before he'd graduated from the Academy…_

"I guess I sort of fucked up again," Kakashi said at last. Behind him, Tsunade and Shizune slipped out quietly.

Iruka's lips drew into a tight smile, and he snorted derisively.

"For once, I disagree. You're fine, I'm fine. I'd say we did pretty good."

"You did. You saved both of us," Kakashi argued. He was surprised to see Iruka bare his teeth in a huge grimace, the man cringing even in his tired state. "What?"

"I… used you as bait. I don't think I meant to, but I did. This entire situation could have been avoided if I hadn't been so selfish." Iruka said, his voice cracking slightly.

Kakashi stared for a long minute, stunned. His grip on Iruka's hand had gone lax. He couldn't bring himself to respond immediately, and it wasn't until Iruka began to pull his hand away that Kakashi snapped out of his haze. He caught Iruka's hand and held it firmly.

"No. You did what had to be done. And I set myself up for that anyway. I knew what you were doing. It was a good tactic. You should be proud of yourself. Your quick thinking gave us the element of surprise that should have made it a clean battle." Kakashi said, eyes cast aside as he analyzed his memories of the battle carefully, sincerely stating things as he saw it. He knew he couldn't get away with smoothing over any of the facts with Iruka. "I…my head wasn't where it should have been, Iruka. I had no reason to be worried, you proved that brilliantly, but I was. I couldn't stand the thought of you getting hurt or killed, and so in a way, I was in a state of panic." Iruka was frowning slightly now. Whether from Kakashi's admissions, which weren't much of a secret to begin with, or due to other internalized reasons, Kakashi couldn't tell. Kakashi worried Iruka would be mad at him, but at the same time, felt that that was the best reaction that the ex-sensei could have. Kakashi was weirdly compelled to collect all blame for anything that might have gone wrong during their mission, successful though it had been. "The battlefield is no place for the type of emotions I was struggling with." He felt like he almost wanted Iruka to be angry with him.

"I did no better, Kakashi." Iruka said softly, breaking the lingering silence. He shuddered, and turned away from Kakashi, hand slipping from the Jounin's grip to pick at the IV needle sticking into his arm.

"What do you mean?" Kakashi almost whispered it. He felt a spark weave it's way down his spine at Iruka's words.

"I've never…killed out of anger before, Kakashi." Iruka's voice was barely audible. "I felt so…_dirty_." In one deft motion, he yanked the needle from his arm, letting it drop to the floor. Kakashi gave Iruka a sad look, circling around the hospital bed to wipe away the lingering dots of blood that came with the removal of the IV. Iruka relaxed a little, letting Kakashi fuss with his arm.

"The first is always the worst…" Kakashi whispered. "Don't let it eat at you too much if you can help it. Nothing you did was wrong."

"I couldn't bear to see you die." Iruka blurted out softly. Kakashi paused in the middle of unwrapping a sanitized bandage for Iruka.

The already snow-softened room fell uncomfortably silent.

Eventually, the wrapper crinkled slightly in Kakashi's hands, the sound practically echoing. Kakashi shook his head, letting out a low breath he had been holding. Smoothing the bandage over the tiny puncture wound at Iruka's forearm, Kakashi sighed.

"…Thank you."

Anything that Iruka might have responded with, though he'd remained quiet, was silenced by Tsunade's sudden return. She noticed the disconnected IV and clucked her tongue irritably, sighing.

"This is the one thing I hate about healing ninja." She grumbled. "They always refuse treatment!" She ambled up to the bag, lifting the discarded needle to eye it. "I suppose there's no point in trying to put this back where it belongs?" She added, addressing Iruka. She turned to Kakashi. "Especially since you appear to have a partner in crime."

Kakashi hid the bandage wrapper behind his back and tried to look innocent far too late. Tsunade snorted.

"Do you have any idea how annoying those things are?" Iruka drawled.

"You'd be a lot more annoyed if you were dead! There's a reason for those, you know," Tsunade said. Yes, she was exasperated, but she was also delighted to see some of Iruka's spark returning to him so quickly.

"I'd be a lot less annoyed if someone hadn't woken me up." Iruka said with a smirk. Kakashi let out a barking laugh that made Iruka's smile stretch into something a little more sincere.

"Well, since you seem to be plenty full of piss and vinegar without my help, maybe we ought to send you on home with Kakashi-San and let him deal with you instead." Tsunade said, smirking happily to herself. _I win!_ While she sincerely hoped, for both their sakes, that Iruka softened up to Kakashi, she also knew that her words would likely make a very effective threat.

Kakashi was staring wide-eyed at Tsunade, as if asking her 'what the hell are you thinking?!' She smirked over at him and sat back on her stool, watching his and Iruka's reaction.

Iruka sat quietly, his face distant and thoughtful.

This was not what Tsunade expected and her smirk vanished, replaced by a look of curious surprise.

"I certainly am in no shape to go home on my own…" Iruka said to himself softly, holding his own hand up. It shook violently. "Damnit… I'm so sick of being weak…" He added, almost inaudible. "What do you think, Kakashi?"

"I think it's up to you to decide if you actually want to go through all the trouble of putting up with me any longer." Kakashi said. His voice cracked, already knowing what Iruka would say. It would hurt, and he couldn't bring himself to brace for it properly.

"Well…I do kind of miss your cooking…" Iruka said sheepishly. "I can only do the simplest recipes for myself…" He added, trying to make his words sound better. It didn't help. He was blushing hotly, embarrassed.

There was another awkwardly long silence from Tsunade and Kakashi, and Iruka grimaced, biting his own lip.

"…Or not."

Still more silence from Kakashi, though Tsunade gave a mysterious little giggle.

In truth, though Iruka couldn't see it, Kakashi was blushing furiously, eyes wide, a shy, dopey smile spreading across his features. Most of this was hidden under his mask, but not enough of it.

"…Any requests for breakfast?"

---------

When Kakashi arrived back in Iruka's home, with Iruka once again in his arms, though this time blessedly dressed, the sense of déjà vu was terribly disorienting.

Iruka didn't struggle as Kakashi carried him to the back of the house, straight to bed again. The Chuunin had stood awkwardly from his hospital bed, and almost immediately collapsed again with an irritated laugh, muttering something about how happy Kakashi should be.

Kakashi couldn't figure out what had happened to Iruka to make him so suddenly accepting, if not responsive, of him.

_Maybe he's worse off than any of us think…_ He worried about it too much to enjoy the feel of the delightfully warm body in his arms.

Iruka lay in bed, hugging a pile of blankets to him, absently picking at a scratch on the back of his hand. Kakashi sat across the room from him in that stiff old wooden chair, feeling uncomfortable. He was still worrying about Iruka. So much had happened so soon… He shifted anxiously, watching Iruka sigh as he tried to find sleep again, apparently to no avail. Kakashi chewed his lip, wanting to say something, desperately, but not finding words.

"Kakashi…" Iruka grumbled. "Stop shuffling around in your seat and just say whatever it is that's on your mind." The Chuunin's voice was sour, but something about his words were soft, mildly teasing. At first, all Kakashi could do was shift more, his anxiety doubling.

"I just… Um…"

Iruka sighed loudly and Kakashi quickly pulled himself together.

"It's just…something's changed." Kakashi almost whispered it, afraid he'd offend Iruka, or find out that he was seeing more than was actually there. He was second guessing himself into circles with every second.

"Yeah…"

When Iruka's voice registered, Kakashi's mental self ran a final loop before tripping over his own feet and falling to the bottom of his mind with a crash.

"Uh--"

"I mean… I duno…I…" He sighed. "I'm sick and tired of being pissed off all of the time." Iruka suddenly did look horribly tired, and Kakashi wished he hadn't brought it up. Iruka was exhausted to the bone. To bring up a topic so draining, Kakashi realized, was unfair to Iruka. He nodded, then grimaced, realizing that Iruka was also likely too tired to notice the gesture.

"Yeah…Hey…Iruka… Look, this is too much to talk about right now. You should rest." Kakashi said. Iruka sunk back into his bed quietly at Kakashi's words, nodding wearily. Kakashi stood. "I'm gunna go and try and scare up something to eat. The sooner you get your strength back, the sooner we'll both feel better." Iruka nodded again, and Kakashi shuffled towards the door.

"Kakashi?"

Kakashi stopped, and turned, but remained silent. Iruka was facing him, propped up on one elbow.

"I'm sorry."

Iruka's voice was heavy with sincerity, regret, and something warmer, and it stopped Kakashi in his tracks.

"W- Iruka, what do you mean?"

"I mean I'm sorry… For all the trouble, and the anger….and the hurt…and…"

Kakashi couldn't stop himself. He closed the distance between himself and Iruka in two steps, stooping down and pulling Iruka against him in one smooth, fevered motion, causing the other man to gasp and tense with surprise. Kakashi cradled Iruka's head against his chest, holding the man tightly in a chaste, but warm embrace.

"_Don't_ apologize. Please." Iruka, who'd been tense at first, relaxed slowly in Kakashi's arms. He shook faintly, but did not struggle or push Kakashi away.

"I can't settle for that," Iruka's voice was muffled against Kakashi's shirt. "I…I've been _such_ an asshole… I…I don't know what's come over me."

"You've had more important things to worry about." Kakashi argued. Iruka let his head drop fully against Kakashi's chest. He was tired, and Kakashi was warm, like always, and Iruka realized at that moment just how sick he was of being alone. He could hear the moment Kakashi's heart began to beat just a little bit faster, felt the tentative movement as one hand lifted from Iruka's back, before settling again at his temple. Iruka held his breath.

Long fingers threaded themselves ever-so-delicately into Iruka's hair, making him twitch just slightly.

"Kakashi…I don't know if--" Iruka began, and the hand stopped, becoming a gentle warmth at the back of Iruka's neck. Kakashi's breath had caught and held for a moment, muscles tense, and Iruka figured he was probably waiting for the yelling to start, or a sharp, lethal blow. He stayed where he was.

_You don't know what you want anymore. So pathetic… _

Iruka's own voice rang clearly in his head, and his face scrunched up slightly as he internally battled himself.

_That's not true. I _do_ know what I want.._

_But you're afraid._

He was afraid. He was terrified. He was the warmest, calmest, and safest he'd felt in a _very_ long time, here huddled in his own dark world, which was slowly brightening with the glow of Kakashi's presence. Letting his arms fall against Kakashi's back, hands fisting lightly into the fabric of his shirt, Iruka wondered vaguely if lovesickness was contagious after all.

'_This is who I truly am, Iruka.' _Iruka wasn't sure what it was that brought back his strange dream of Kakashi again, but he could easily visualize _that_ Kakashi as the one holding him now. Clean and bare, almost fragile.

Iruka frowned softly to himself, sitting up, but not moving away.

"Iruka…?"

"I need to see something." Iruka said simply. He found Kakashi's shoulder easily, followed his neck upwards. Kakashi held perfectly still, not sure what was going on. "I don't think my jutsu would work for this…even if I did have the strength for it." Iruka added. He put his hand to the side of Kakashi's face, found the edge of his mask, and pulled it down carefully, slowly, so that Kakashi could stop him if he'd gone too far.

Kakashi did not move, nor protest. His breath came in soft, shallow gasps that shook his body lightly. Iruka's hand traveled smoothly down Kakashi's jaw, the pad of this thumb catching his lips abruptly.

"Iruka what are you doing--?"

Iruka moved his touch from Kakashi's lips, just slightly, and sensitive fingertips quickly found the tiny ridge of too-smooth skin, a tiny scar not much longer than Iruka's fingernail, right where he had expected to find it. Iruka pulled his hand away as if the realization burned him.

"Iruka?" Kakashi's voice cracked. He was confused, and deeply worried.

"I knew…" Iruka whispered.

"What?"

"I knew that was there… I've never seen it, but I knew. And…" He touched Kakashi's neck, drug his fingertips down towards his shoulder. "there… and…" He touched several more scars over places on Kakashi that he knew he'd never seen, and hadn't noticed with his jutsu, repeatedly, until Kakashi caught his hand, stopping him.

"_Iruka!_"

"I'm sorry." Iruka whispered. "A dream…I wanted to believe so badly that it didn't mean anything, but I know I was wrong…" He fell back against Kakashi's chest again, and the man openly let out a gasp this time. "I guess I was wrong about a lot of things…but only because I told myself lies…"

Kakashi's arms tightened around him suddenly.

"I'm sick, Kakashi. Sick of nothing but blackness, and the cold nightmares, and of having _nothing_ except myself and the void… I've been so alone… But…" He trailed off.

"What?" Kakashi's breathy whisper sounded so agonizingly hopeful it made Iruka cringe.

"I'm so scared." He breathed back.

Warm lips were on his forehead, pressing firmly into his skin, as if the force of Kakashi's love alone could drive all of Iruka's fears away. It did not, and Iruka felt himself shiver, hard, all the way down to his toes. Kakashi felt it too, his arms tightening around Iruka's shoulders, even as he descended again, placing another kiss over Iruka's eyes, one and then the other, and Iruka lowered his head a little, not ready to accept that he wanted the contact, but unwilling to push Kakashi away, or to tell him to stop. Each kiss cam quicker than the next, slightly more feverish, and Iruka found himself showered, Kakashi kissing his eyes, nose cheeks, chin, nearly everywhere across his face in rapid succession. Iruka felt overwhelmed, and more frightened than ever, but now it was a weirdly heady feeling, one that he almost relished in. His heart was beginning to hammer in time with Kakashi's, and when their lips finally met in an almost-accidental brush, his gasp came out ragged sounding.

Kakashi let his lips slide across Iruka's in a feather-light touch, testing, almost begging for permission. Iruka fell very still, face cast down slightly still. Kakashi tilted his head to match the angle, giving Iruka's lips another, slightly stronger inquiring brush. Iruka's lips parted against his, just a little, the hands at his shoulders tightening their grip.

Kakashi's lips had felt incredibly soft, even under the probing touch of Iruka's calloused fingertips. Against his own lips, which were far more sensitive, especially at the moment, the gentle warm silk and butter sensation was electric. Iruka thought dimly, his head spinning and his whole body shaking under Kakashi's strong but gentle grip, that it hadn't felt like this, four months ago, when they'd shared their last kiss. That time, it had been an experiment, and neither man had had the chance to dwell on the results long enough to come to a conclusion. Iruka had been scared, angry, and almost addled by the swirling emotions that resulted from being coerced into his own seduction. He had felt bitter then, frustrated that Kakashi wouldn't leave him alone, that he was being put into such a terrifying and uncomfortable situation.

Iruka was still scared, even as he openly responded to Kakashi, clinging to the man as if he would drown without the broad shoulders supporting him, but he felt like things were more on his terms this time. He felt safer.

Kakashi's previous desperation had faded to resignment, and while he had technically given up on Iruka, he had inadvertently given Iruka enough space for the burnette to think his own feelings over more carefully.

Part of Iruka still felt decidedly wrong, his stomach doing flips as he pondered the notion that he was there, sitting in his bed kissing another man. He shuddered, and Kakashi pulled away reluctantly. There was a long silence as each took a little too long to catch their breaths.

"I…don't know what's happening to me…" Iruka said at last, as much to convey his feelings, as to break the blanket of silence that was building up to dangerous depths all around them. If he didn't speak, he might scream.

Kakashi gave a small, watery laugh.

"I guess this is my fault too…" He murmured. "Should I be apologizing?" He laughed again, but it sounded like he didn't think there was anything funny at all about the moment.

"I… I don't know. I just don't know… I don't even…I…" Iruka trailed off despairingly. "I don't know if I could ever… but this…" He tried once more, and gave up. He would end up hurting Kakashi, he knew, and probably himself as well, if he didn't shut up.

"I… I understand if you could never love me, Iruka." Kakashi said, saying the words that Iruka had so desperately avoided. He sounded shattered.

"I just--" Iruka cut off, jumping at a loud noise at the front of the house.

"NAA! IRUKA SENSEIII!"

Both men cringed at Naruto's loud greeting. Iruka gave a withering sound of dismay.

"I…I can't deal with this right now!" He had his hands in his hair, his face crushed against Kakashi's chest as if he were trying to hide. Kakashi reluctantly pulled away from Iruka, standing.

"I'll talk to him." A pause. "Don't run…please…"

"I'll be here." Iruka promised. Kakashi touched his face once more, then hurried out to meet Naruto, pulling his mask up as he walked briskly out into the hallway.

---------

Naruto was standing in the kitchen when Kakashi emerged from Iruka's room. The blond looked up, surprised to see Kakashi.

"You!" He pointed, looking outraged.

"Who'd you expect, the Easter Bunny?" Kakashi drawled. He wasn't sure what exactly had been happening between himself and Iruka just now, but it had been better, questionable as it was, than anything that had come to pass before. He was feeling deeply aggrieved by Naruto's interruption. He tried his best not to let it show, to smile warmly at the boy instead.

"Where's Iruka-Sensei?! Granny Tsunade said he was better!"

_News travels fast…_ Kakashi thought, sighing.

"He's resting, we just got home." Naruto's face fell.

"Oh…"

"You can come visit him later today after he's had a break." Kakashi said, oddly compelled to bend to Naruto's wishes. _Iruka's rubbing off on me after all…_ Naruto's big heart was hard to resist sometimes. Naruto glanced back up at him.

"Oh. N-no… I mean… Well, I j-just brought y-you guys some ramen…" He held up a bag, and Kakashi could see several travel containers , steam rising lazily through tiny vent holes in the tops. Kakashi admitted that it smelt good. "I-Iruka-Sensei actually really likes ramen for breakfast…" Kakashi thought it was weird how meek Naruto had suddenly become, stuttering almost like he was nervous.

_Maybe I didn't hide my irritation as well as I thought I had…_Kakashi felt a little guilty.

"We can always heat it up later." Kakashi said, trying to soothe the boy. Naruto blinked.

"Oh. Okay." He handed Kakashi the bag. "I guess it's good I got some for you too…" He smiled wryly suddenly. For some reason, the endearing grin made the hair on the back of Kakashi's neck stand on end. "Figured you'd be here."

In truth, Tsunade had 'let slip' that Kakashi had just taken Iruka home, minutes after Naruto had arrived, with Sasuke and Sakura, at the hospital to visit their beloved ex-sensei.

Kakashi blinked, glancing down into the bag in his hands. In very sloppy black ink, someone, presumably Naruto, and scrawled Iruka's name on one of the tubs. He raised an eyebrow.

"It's Iruka-Sensei's favorite!" Naruto said defensively. "That's what he _always_ orders!" Kakashi raised his free hand in defense.

"Alright! I'll make sure he gets it then… And the rest?"

"Misou, and pork."

Kakashi smiled.

"Oh good."

Naruto shuffled in place for a moment, looking anxious. Kakashi looked back up at him.

"Well, I'll come by later, Kakashi-Sensei." Naruto said. "S-Sasuke and Sakura said they'd train with me today…. You're probably not gunna be around, huh?"

"Maa…I might show up later…" Kakashi said. "But I need to make sure Iruka-Sensei is okay first…he's still…pretty weak."

Naruto looked suddenly very concerned.

"Don't worry. He's been resting under Tsunade-Sama's care for the last four days. He'll be okay."

Naruto nodded dumbly, and then with a quick, "Take care of Iruka Sensei!" he was out the door again. Kakashi blinked, looking down at the food he'd been given, and sighed, setting the bag down on the counter so he could go back to Iruka's room.

"Hey…" He called out. "How about ramen for breakfast?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN:

Oh.

My.

Fucking.

God.

I

am

SO

SORRY!!!!!!

:repents:

I had SUCH a freaking hard time with this chapter (as if you hadn't noticed... 4 months...god... so, so sorry. . ) It started nicely...it flowed right out of chapter 23...but then it stopped. And I stopped.

And life has been so damned crazy this year. Which is a lame excuse, but I really did TRY...constantly, to write on this. There was litterally one day that I sat down to write, got one sentence written...JUST ONE and then...nothing else came. For 2 hours.

BUT--! Just recently my boyfriend managed to rekindle my love of the kakairu pairing a little via a GREAT little 1-shot smutty piece of yaoish joy (he's so brave XD I love him) --Find it in my favorites here on it's titled "Their Night" --Review it! XD lol.

But that got me fired up... and thinking...

and it took several more weeks, but one day, I woke up, and I wanted to write again! Yaaay! Of course...Finals are in a week now, and I had to wait, but I FINALLY got going again the other day. Had to re-read about half of my own damned fic because I'd FORGOTTEN all of what had happened, and when. (how embarrassing. . )

But I've managed.

I know this chapter is a little weak. It's UNEDITED so PLEASE be gentle on the reviews pertaining to content, grammar, etc... It will be revised and reposted later. I'll leave a note if anything too important changes, but the content should stay the same. I forwent my usual finesse in lie of the FOUR FUCKING MONTHS it took me to write... 9 1/2 pages, according to word (how miserable... . )

And Lo and Behold! This fic has broken the 200 page mark (it's 201 pages as of this chapter). Lame as I've been about it lately, I'm still very proud of this fanfic. I'm only wishing now, that it was an original fiction. I've put SO much into it. I should be making money on it XD lol. But I'm not. Because these boys, as fun as they are to play with, are copywritten XD lol.

Poor Iruka's more fucked up than ever, ne? XD

And Naruto's up to something... :)

Anyone remember what?

R&R!

MRE


	25. Chapter 25

_**Blind**_

25

Two blocks away from Iruka's apartment, Sasuke and Sakura stood in the snow, waiting. Sasuke was as cool as any snowflake, unconcerned with the freezing temperatures, even as snow began to cover his exposed toes, but Sakura stood buffing her arms, her teeth chattering.

"Hold your thumbs." Sasuke murmured, almost to himself.

"Hu-u-u-h?" Sakura chattered.

"Hold your thumbs in your fists… like this." He held his hands up in fists, his thumbs tucked under the rest of his fingers. "It'll keep you warmer." Sakura blinked at him, but obeyed. In a few minutes, her teeth had stopped chattering.

It was still cold though.

"I wish Naruto would hurry his dumb ass up." She commented. She wanted to get home, and take a nice long, hot bath.

Sasuke shrugged.

"He probably forgot he was supposed to meet back up with us. You know how he gets around Iruka-Sensei." He lifted his face to glare up at the silver sky, almost as if it was his will that made the precipitation to freeze as it fell.

"Geez, give me more credit than that, bastard." Naruto murmured sorely. Sakura turned with Sasuke to watch the blonde shuffle up the street, kicking at the snow gathering in tiny drifts as he walked. Warmly wrapped in the jacket that Iruka had bought him for his birthday, Naruto seemed completely nonplussed by the freezing temperatures.

"Well??" Sakura asked sharply. "Did they buy it?"

"Iruka Sensei was resting again already…but Kakashi Sensei looked glad for the food so…" Naruto trailed off. "Naa… Sakura-Chan…I feel kind'a bad about this.."

"Dobe. You agreed to the plan just as much as any of us did." Sasuke pointed out.

"Yeah! B-But…Kakashi-Sensei says Iruka-Sensei is still really worn out! I mean…what if.. If it works, but then something happens and Iruka-Sensei gets hurt or something!"

Sasuke and Sakura stared at Naruto, bewildered.

"…Nobody bothered to ever teach you about the birds and the bees, have they?" Sakura deadpanned.

"Kakashi's a pervert, but I think things would have to get pretty…weird…for anyone to get hurt, Naruto." Sasuke added.

"It's already weird! They're both guys!" Naruto countered, just a little too loudly. A couple passing them from the other direction, shot Naruto a strange look.

Sakura, who'd been watching Sasuke's face closely --like always-- noticed a very brief moment of pain cross the dark-haired boys' eyes. He blinked, and the look was gone as he swatted Naruto upside the head with the flat of his palm.

"Moron. Don't be so loud."

Naruto flushed just slightly.

"It's a little late to have a problem with _that_ Naruto!" Sakura added.

"Yeah but it's different now with the stuff! Iruka-Sensei's gunna wanna-"  
"NO more details!" Sasuke choked, cutting Naruto off in a voice far louder, and higher pitched, than his normal tone.

"Details about what?"

The trio turned at the low voice, watching Shikamaru saunter up to them.

"Oh! Kakashi-pervert-Sensei is gay and we're trying to hook him up with Iruka-Sensei by spiking their lunches with a really powerful a-af--rooo..desia…k thingy that Tsunade-Granny made for us!" Naruto said quickly, grinning in an appallingly innocent manner.

Shikamaru stopped dead in his tracks, staring at Naruto for a moment, before letting his gaze slide off of the blond and onto Sasuke, who heaved an enormous sigh.

"Something like that anyway." He admitted.

Shikamaru blinked slowly.

"You're…in on it too?"

Sasuke gave a noncommittal grunt of acknowledgement. Shikamaru's eyebrows went up. He glanced over at Sakura, who was hiding her blushing face in her hands, and shaking her head slowly. He looked back at Naruto who was still grinning in a puppyish manner.

"…Right. You do that." He started moving again, walking past the group in the same sedate manner in which he'd approached them. "Good luck…you might need it."

"Hey thanks!" Naruto called, grinning. Sasuke groaned, looking up beseechingly at the sky. It stared back at him mournfully.

"W-Wait!" Sakura lifted her head, turning to Shikamaru's back. "N-no one's supposed t-to know!"

Shikamaru waved lazily back at them over his shoulder, not bothering to turn around. "Meh…I figured as much. It'd be too much trouble to try and explain that to anyone anyway…" Stuffing his hands back into his pockets, he disappeared around the block corner. Sakura and Naruto stared after him. Sasuke was still staring up at the sky with begging eyes, as if he wished for lightning to strike him down…or maybe strike Naruto down.

Yes. Better Naruto than him. He had things to do in life.

---------

Kakashi put the ramen Naruto had delivered down, and wandered back into Iruka's room, his mind still distracted by his visitor. Something about Naruto was setting of little alarm bells in Kakashi's head, and he couldn't help but wonder if the boy was up to something. Kakashi couldn't think of what, though, and so he dismissed the thought.

Iruka sat up still, half wrapped in the blankets of his bed, facing the doorway when Kakashi entered his room. Kakashi swallowed, fully aware that once again, _everything_ between them was up in the air. Somehow, though, the desperation Kakashi had always felt around the other man had dissipated somewhat. He was afraid to believe it, but something deep inside him whispered _'it'll be okay._'

"Naruto brought us ramen…" Kakashi informed him, laughing slightly. "All that ruckus over just that…"

Iruka snorted softly.

"That figures. He has too much energy."

"Chip off the old block…" Kakashi commented softly.

"Huh?" Iruka turned his face upwards towards Kakashi's voice, his expression confused.

"You want your breakfast now, or should I put it away to reheat later?"

Iruka wrinkled his nose softly.

"It's never as good reheated…" He climbed slowly to his feet wobbling once, but holding strong. "Let's just eat it before it gets cold."

Naruto had made the right choice for Iruka, if Kakashi could judge by the gusto of which he dug into his meal. He let a small smile grace his expression as he watched Iruka eat, obviously hungry. Iruka paused suddenly, lifting his face.

"I know you're staring. Stop it." He commented, lips twisting into a knowing smirk. Kakashi opened his mouth to protest, but stopped, when the smile fell too quickly from Iruka's face, all at once.

"What's wrong?" He asked instead. The man's face had turned pink, his lips parted as he gave a shuddering breath.

"Uh…I..d-don't know…" Iruka put a hand to his own chest, shaking his head to try and clear it. He was flushed, his heart was pounding, and… The heat rising in his body increased as he realized why the sweats he was wearing were suddenly so uncomfortable, turning his ears beet red. "I--"

"What??" Kakashi was on his feet, worried. Iruka was panting softly, and horrible things like cardiac arrest or an allergic reaction were running through Kakashi's head at the speed of total panic. Iruka heard the panic in Kakashi's voice, knew he had to say something… he really was alright…he was just…just…

"Um… I…d-don't want to talk about it…" He stuttered, going even redder.

Unfortunately, his answer wasn't good enough for Kakashi, who'd leapt out of his seat all together and rushed to Iruka's side. A huge, too-hot hand wrapped itself around Iruka's forearm, and he couldn't help the shudder that went through his body. _Oh god!_ His mouth went dry, and he tried to fan himself with his free hand, but Kakashi was shaking him.

"Iruka!" He didn't answer, he couldn't. Kakashi crying his name like that suddenly sounded different to his slightly-ringing ears, and the sound went straight to his already throbbing groin. He gave a low, breathy groan, and suddenly, Kakashi's hands were off of him. "Um…Can you stand up?" Kakashi didn't want to look… _really_ didn't, because he knew it would mean trouble, but he had a theory.. and he figured it would be pretty obvious whether he was correct, or not.

Iruka staggered upright, flushing deeply, already knowing that there was _no_ way that Kakashi would miss the all too-clear signs of just what was bothering him.

Indeed, the tent in soft blue fabric was impossible to ignore, and infinitely distracting for Kakashi. The wave of temptation that rushed through him, however, had a drastically sobering effect.

"Shit. Looks like you've been drugged." Kakashi kept his voice low.

"You didn't do it?" Iruka ground the words out, having trouble keeping his breathing even.

"No. Come on." Kakashi said, tugging on Iruka's shirt sleeve slightly to guide him.

Iruka wobbled, feeling dizzy, and Kakashi had to catch him by the shoulders as he moved. This also proved unfortunate. The heat of Kakashi's hands on him burned, and Iruka gave a moan, staggering helplessly. Kakashi's touch always brought back flashbacks of the few moments that had been shared between him, the first kiss, earlier that morning, the dream, the night Iruka had awoken in darkness to Kakashi's frame pressing down on him. Those memories, mixed with the vivid heat of Kakashi's skin soaking through the fabric of Iruka's clothes, made Iruka's nerves vibrate under his skin.

"Shit," Kakashi murmured, mostly to himself. "Come on…I'm going to get you settled down…" He avoided saying 'bed' already knowing what such trigger-words might bring. He had to fight his own temptation, and that meant that he couldn't allow Iruka's mood to escalate.

It was going to be a trying morning for Kakashi.

By the time he and Iruka reached the back room, Iruka was clutching at his shirt too-tightly and gasping raggedly in Kakashi's ear. Kakashi did his best to guide Iruka back to bed, but at the last moment their ankles tangled, and he was tossed on top of the Chuunin in a very compromising manner. Iruka gave a cry, arms tightening around Kakashi's shoulders, his back arching. The heat of Kakashi's body against his had compounded suddenly with the pressure, and Kakashi's scent, making Iruka's head spin and his loins throb painfully. He couldn't take it.

"God please-!" Desperation kicked in suddenly for Iruka. He needed release before he exploded. He needed more than stoic resistance, more than a distraction, more than his own hands could provide. He needed what he knew only Kakashi could provide.

Kakashi cringed. He didn't think he'd ever encountered _anyone_ as fired up as Iruka was now…It was rather unsettling. Just the pressure of his own bodyweight was enough to drive the other man, cool as a rock towards Kakashi until this moment, beg.

"Please…Kakashi…just…I don't care anymore…please!" Iruka felt dirty, just saying the words, but he meant it. He truly didn't care what happened, so long as that dizzying star-hot pressure was released.

"Of course you care," Kakashi murmured, "this isn't like you." He hated himself more than ever as he did his damnedest to fight temptation. It would be so easy to give into Iruka's drug-induced haze. It hurt, to hear Iruka crying for him, saying he needed him, when Kakashi knew it wasn't true, that it was just an unfortunate lie baked up by overloaded hormones and endorphins.

"I don't care!" Iruka argued, his voice shrill. He sounded almost as if he was in pain, and Kakashi reasoned that he probably was. "I thought you wanted this! I'm giving myself to you so hurry up and take me!" Iruka's voice sounded distant and hazy to his own ears, as if it were someone else with a voice just like his speaking.

"No. You'd just regret it later, and hate me even more. You're not yourself right now, Iruka-San." Kakashi went on, pulling away from Iruka. The younger man lunged at him, but his vision was still lost to him, and Kakashi easily leapt out of reach. "I'm not going to hurt you, and I'm not going to let you hurt yourself!"

"No!" Iruka screamed, right in Kakashi's face. "Goddamnit! I couldn't get you to leave me the fuck alone before, and now the second I need you, you turn your fucking back on me!"  
"Iruka…" It was true. Kakashi knew it was true. But he wasn't about to stoop down to something as deceitful and heartless as taking advantage of someone, even so desperately needed as Iruka, when they weren't thinking right.

"I HATE YOU!" Kakashi had heard Iruka tell him that so many times before that the words were like white noise to the Copy Ninja, a vague sting in his chest that he did his best to ignore.

_I know, you don't have to remind me_. Whatever it was that had seemed to be going so right less than an hour before had vaporized into history.

"It's still no." Kakashi looked away, not wanting to see the angry tears forming in Iruka's cloudy eyes.

"DAMN YOU KAKASHI! You're such a fucking asshole! You've jerked me around like this for…for…MONTHS! Get the fuck out of my life!"

Kakashi was on his feet, backing away. He had never heard the sweet Chuunin academy sensei curse so many times in succession. Vaguely, he remembered that it was actually Iruka who had jerked him around, if any jerking had been done at all, but the words burned anyway. His heart needed a stronger defense than logical reasoning could provide.

"I'm sorry…you'll….you'll thank me later though…I'm so sorry. I… have to go fix this." He turned, and slipped out the window without further word.

Iruka, lost in his white hot, black, sightless world, gasped, startled by the sudden absence of Kakashi's presence.

"Kakashi…?" His heart was still hammering, his head swimming, but he was coherent enough to realize that he had _not_ meant to say such hurtful things. "Kakashi…??"

Nothing. Kakashi had left. Would he come back?

Iruka doubted it.

_You blew it, dumbass._

He curled onto his side, gasping feebly at the rush of pleasure the slight movement caused him, and held his breath, trying not to cry.

---------

Kakashi stormed through Konoha.

_Way to just run away…again._

Having escaped the stress of being in Iruka's presence, the anger that had been growing like cancer in his chest, had been allowed to spew forth into his consciousness with blistering ferocity.

He couldn't recall another time when he had been this unabashedly infuriated. He felt fit to kill, realized he was considering just how bad becoming a missing nin could really be, even as all the clues as to what had happened to his peaceful morning in the snow finally lined up.

Those kids had pushed it too far this time. He knew they were mischievous children, he knew that they had been trying to hook he and Iruka up. He knew that they had a knack for crackpot plans, an uncanny gift for bad ideas. He knew they were just trying to help.

He knew he'd never been this angry before. He wanted to scream. He wanted to tear things with his bare hands, to feel things give and shatter beneath his fingertips. He'd crush his own bones if it meant satiating the acidic feeling boiling within him.

Never, not once, could he have anticipated something this hurtful to happen to himself, or worse, to Iruka.

Injuries, even when dealt out in good intentions, still hurt.

It didn't take him long to locate Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura. The snow piling across the earth didn't slow Kakashi down at all. If anything, it simply encouraged him to move faster. Frozen molecules so infinite in number they piled up at his ankles were still not enough to cool the burning of his blood, and so Kakashi blazed his way towards his students with anything but passive intentions.

They were on their way to their usual training grounds, taking their time and talking among themselves as they walked with their backs to him, and the teacher side of Kakashi criticized them for being so relaxed. Their guards were completely down, all three of them. Any other time, and Kakashi probably would have smiled to himself, and plotted some devious prank as he snuck up on the trio.

But not today. Kakashi wasn't bothering to attempt to contain his emotions, or to conceal his presence. It was only shortly after his eyes fell on the trio, his pace already quickening to approach them, that Sasuke turned, noticing him first. Dark eyes widened considerably and Kakashi watched his lips move in a low oath. Sakura and Naruto turned, their gazes meeting Kakashi's. That brief exchange of glances was all that Sasuke and Sakura needed to decide that they did not want to be where Kakashi could find them. Both vanished instantly, but Naruto, frozen under Kakashi's violently cold gaze, was rendered immobile. Wide-eyed and tearing up, he stood rigid as Kakashi approached him and was unable to fight back as his sensei lifted him by the front of his jacket. He could only give a soft squeak as he was shook roughly.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THREE DO?!" Naruto grasped at Kakashi's wrists, squirming feebly, and crying in earnest as he struggled to escape. He'd never seen Kakashi sincerely angry, nor had he heard him bellow the way he was at the moment. There was no doubt in Naruto's mind what it was that had incited this reaction in his Sensei. He knew it had been a bad idea. He was the high master of bad ideas, and this one, deep down, had seemed bad even by his standards. He gave a soft cry, turning away. He felt as though Death were shaking his hand.

Kakashi noticed the sincere terror in Naruto's eyes, and took a breath, putting the young man back down on the ground, though he didn't let go of him completely. The blond was rendered completely speechless, and Kakashi knew that he had stepped out of line. Naruto was not the sole perpetrator, of that he was certain.

"Naruto…" He still ground the word out, was barely controlling his temper. Naruto looked back at him, sky-blue eyes wide and swirling with mixed terror and guilt. "What was it that you gave him? Where did you get it?!" Naruto opened his mouth, but then shut it again, his expression hardening and going blank. He had a secret to keep. "You have to tell me damnit!" Kakashi barked. Naruto winced, and Kakashi went on. "Whatever the hell it was, it's…_phenomenally potent_. Do you understand? Something that strong could be dangerous… Where did you get that drug?!" Naruto cringed at the mention of Iruka possibly being in danger, and looked away from Kakashi.

"Ts-Tsunade-Baba! S-She…m-m-ma-d-de--" Naruto stuttered violently, and could barely get the words out, but Kakashi had heard enough. His hands, previously at Naruto's shoulders, went slack.

"Tsu..nade…?" The heat drained from Kakashi's face, and Naruto held his breath. A desolate look crossed the Jounin's singly visible eye. "She…helped…?"

"Yeah…" Naruto answered softly, still cautious. Everything hung on a thread. Kakashi's emotions, his relationship with Iruka, Naruto's life, all of their futures had collided violently from the force of one bad decision. "I m-mean…we th-thought it up…b-but…the st-stuff…Tsunade-Sama made for us while you guys were on that mission."

Kakashi backed away from his student, eyes shifting away. He straightened up.

"Thank you, Naruto." He paused. "Are…you alright? I shouldn't have attacked you like that…"

"I'm fine, Kakashi-Sensei. Anou…Is Iruka-Sensei going to be alright?"

"He's pretty upset."

"Did anything….umm….happen?" Naruto couldn't imagine how anything could have transpired between his two sensei, with the mood that Kakashi was in, but he asked anyway.

"No. That's why he's upset." Kakashi turned away completely, not wanting to look at Naruto. He couldn't let any more of his anger out on the boy at the moment, as much as he wanted to.

"Huh?"

"He's not himself right now, Naruto." _He wouldn't ever want me…not really. What happened this morning…I just can't bring myself to believe in it…_

"Oh." Naruto fell quiet.

"Naruto, I need to go."

"I know."

"Tell Sasuke and Sakura, when you see them, that they're in for an ass kicking." He said it evenly, used the words lightly, but he still clearly felt wave of fear that went through Naruto. He didn't bother to reassure the boy, simply vanished on the spot.

---------

Tsunade had known that sooner or later that day, Kakashi would likely pay her a visit, but she hadn't expected him so early.

The Jounin did not so much arrive as he did burst into her office. She didn't know what had happened to the two ANBU guards outside, if anything, but they certainly had not slowed him down at all in his entry.

She didn't blame them if they had decided not to put up a fight.

He was pale, as if freezing, but his singly visible eye was ablaze with blatant rage. She tensed, wondering if he would try and attack her. There was no doubting what he was angry about, given the way he pinned her down with just a look.

Kakashi didn't stomp his way to her desk, though he moved deliberately and quite quickly. Each step he took was feather soft, as if his feet barely touched the floor.

"Good morning Kakashi-kun." Tsunade broke the silence, refusing to let him intimidate her. "I'm surprised to see you back to visit so soon."

"What the HELL were you thinking?!" Kakashi came right up into Tsunade's face, leaning as far in as her massive desk would allow him. He did not step around it, fearing that if he did, he would attempt to throttle the woman.

"I did you a favor. It's not my fault if you chose to blow your chance." Tsunade countered. Kakashi's face visibly screwed up underneath his mask.

"THE HELL?! How inconsiderate and you get?! I thought you'd be smarter than that! Or at least have enough common sense to tell those kids when they've crossed the line! You're the fucking HOKAGE for god's sake! Who gave you the right to toy around with people's lives and emotions? You've got a village to run, not a goddamned dating service!" Kakashi's voice dwindled as he raged, falling from a full blown yell, to a cracked, broken sound that betrayed his true feelings. "Iruka may have never trusted me, but damn it he trusted you, just like a good citizen should! _I trusted you_!"

Tsunade sat quietly, listening, and lamenting that her decision to try and help the pair had apparently backfired so badly. The anger in Kakashi's gaze was fading, washed away by sheer hurt.

"Apparently, I was mistaken in my assumptions, I'm sorry, Kakashi." It was lame, and she knew it, but there wasn't much to be done for it.

"God…did you all REALLY think I was that shallow? That I would take advantage of someone in that kind of state?" Kakashi ran a hand over his face, brushing his hitai-ate aside to scrub roughly at his eyes. "Am I truly that bad…?"

"We were trying to help."

"Well stop it! I can fuck things up just fine on my own, _without_ the help of others!" Kakashi threw his hands up in resignation before bringing them down to bury his face in them. A moment of silence led to a low groan from Kakashi. "What the hell _was_ it anyway?"

"My own special recipe."

"Give me the antidote."

"There is none. It'll wear off quickly, although the best way to deal with that sort of thing would be a natural release." She couldn't help but smirk, just a little. She couldn't imagine how Kakashi would have given that up. If it had been her in his position, she didn't think she had the nobility to exercise that type of self-restraint.

"Forget it!" Kakashi turned away from her, already heading for the door, but paused. "You know, he screamed at me, told me he hated me more than ever, because I refused him." Kakashi's voice was low, exhausted from yelling, and mournful.   
"He sat there gasping and crying for me. Do you have any idea how much that hurt? Can you imagine the shame he'll feel later when he comes to his senses and has to remember all of that? If I ever hear of you subjecting anyone to that vile drug of yours again, I swear, I don't care how powerful or how important or how beloved you are, I'll wring your neck on principal, even if it gets me killed."

"Don't worry. I'll send my notes on the substance to you to burn later." Tsunade promised. She was neither surprised by, nor concerned with Kakashi's threat. She understood perfectly well that he was as sincere as he had ever been. And she knew she would not meddle with a person's feelings with drugs ever again. Kakashi turned and left without looking back at her, and Tsunade stayed still at her desk, staring down at her hands. She felt sick, aghast at herself, and wondered just _what _she had been thinking. Behind her, standing in the doorway leading into her private champers, Shizune lingered. Her presence alone was enough. Both women knew that Tsunade did not need to hear the words that hung so clearly between them.

_I told you so._

---------

Naruto sat in Kakashi's wake, staring out across the snow, shocked.

_I blew it I blew it We blew it!_ He was good at berating himself. He had never had family, except maybe Iruka-Sensei, to do the job for him, so he'd gotten quite adept at punishing himself. Sakura had even accused him of masochism once. Naruto thought that was a little over the top. A little, anyway.

_If something happens to Iruka-Sensei…_ Naruto knew that there would be more than one mess to clean up if he'd somehow inadvertently helped in hurting his favorite Sensei. He didn't know if he could live with himself, and he honestly didn't think Kakashi would manage very well, either. _He's so messed up…and he'll be even more messed up if…_ Naruto gave himself one last glance around his surroundings, before squaring his shoulders. _I have to try and fix this…_

Naruto didn't know what he was going to do, or how he'd even _begin_ to fix something as out of his medium as what had happened, but he knew he had to do something. He'd been sitting in the snow all morning, it was time to stop sitting and get moving. Brushing gathering snow off of himself, he leapt up and dashed off toward Iruka's apartment complex.

---------

Kakashi took his time returning to Iruka's apartment. He didn't know how long 'quickly' was, and he didn't want to find out the hard way what 'quickly' wasn't. Pent up anger, frustration, and grief needed burning, and Kakashi was driven to running several laps around the borders of the village over the next hour. What had happened between them before Naruto had visited that morning? Was it gone forever, after what this new event had brought? Would Iruka still hate him so thoroughly even after the drug wore off? Would he be mad? Would he blame Kakashi? Would Kakashi be able to live with himself if he did?

Kakashi was too scared of the shining hope that Iruka wouldn't hate him completely after this. He couldn't grasp for it, even in secret, because it would be too painful to let go of again. Even as he returned to Iruka's apartment, he drug his feet, dreading what would happen. He was exhausted, frozen, confused and terrified.

Kakashi found himself staggering back through Iruka's front door far sooner than he was prepared to. His feet and the cuffs of his pants were icy cold and soggy from running through snow, and he wasn't sure if his slight shivering was from the temperatures, exhaustion, his emotions, or all of the above.

The apartment was quiet, but he could easily sense Iruka's presence right where he'd left him earlier that morning, though it was nearly noon now. He walked quietly, and slowly, towards Iruka's room, still anxious of what he would encounter once he got there. He felt desolate. Empty of everything. The anger had faded, giving way to that sense of emptiness as cold and vast as the snow blanketing the town. Stepping into the bedroom, he hesitated at the doorway.

Iruka lay curled on his side, hugging his arms to his chest. At first, Kakashi thought he was asleep, until he rolled over onto his back, turning his face Kakashi's way.

"I'm sorry." His soft utterance had the same hollow undertones that lingered within Kakashi's chest, but also carried the hint of clarity that had been missing before. Apparently the drug had worn off. Iruka sounded shamed and it made Kakashi's heart tie itself in knots. He couldn't speak, couldn't bear to answer. He took two steps towards the futon and collapsed into a heap over Iruka.

Iruka jumped, startled by the sudden contact, but Kakashi couldn't stand the thought of another moment without him. He buried his face into Iruka's chest, his body going limp alongside the other man's.

Thin fingers gripped at Iruka's shirt and shoulders, and Iruka could feel Kakashi's body shaking slightly with suppressed sobs. Sighing, Iruka brought his arms up around Kakashi's back, holding him.

"I'm so sorry…" Kakashi whispered into Iruka's chest, crushing his face against the sweet warmth of his body, desperate for solace from his grief. "None of this…it should have never happened. I'm so sorry. Please…forgive me one last time…" His voice cracked against Iruka's throat, and Iruka cringed, folding his arms more firmly around Kakashi.

"Kakashi…"

"Please… I need you…"

"I was under the impression that you didn't actually do anything, this time." Iruka said, and couldn't help but smile sadly. It figured really. As soon as they started to figure things out between them, a third element had thrown it's way into their paths, messing things up. In the aftermath, Kakashi had shattered completely, right there in his arms. It had taken that total collapse for Iruka to realize how good it felt, even in the most painful moments, to be needed. Kakashi was long beyond merely wanting anything. He was driven to Iruka by desperate necessity, bearing no control whatsoever over his emotions.

Lovesickness truly was contagious, and Iruka felt the very last of his defenses crumble as Kakashi clung to him, shaking. He didn't know what would happen next, or where this moment would lead them, but Iruka couldn't fight it for another moment. He was blind and falling, and Kakashi was plummeting right alongside him.

Iruka alone had the power to catch them both.

"Shh…Don't worry, Kakashi." It felt odd to be reassuring the other man, but it was a role that Iruka knew well. "I'm not mad…just…tired."

"Yeah…" Kakashi sounded drowsy, nuzzled against Iruka as he was, and pushed his face in against the warmth of Iruka's chest, carefully seeking out the exposed skin at his neck. He took a deep breath, taking in his loves scent and presence and Iruka knew it. He shivered just slightly. "Iruka," Iruka felt the slight thrill of his name rolling off of Kakashi's lips, breathed with reverence the way most people uttered prayers.

"I'm not going to make you go, just relax." Iruka said, actually tightening his grip. "I… this…it's nice."

Kakashi was silent, but listening intently, and Iruka realized he'd better explain better or the Jounin would remain tensed with anxiety forever.

"You must have rubbed off on me," Iruka laughed softly, making Kakashi twitch. "You're contagious…But you know… maybe it's not that bad, huh? And…god…Kakashi, I can't even begin to remember the last time someone told me they needed me… I mean _really_ needed _me_."

"Naruto needs you." Kakashi whispered. Iruka smiled.

"Not the way you do." He countered.

"And…" Kakashi's tentative approach made Iruka's heart ache. He still sincerely expected to be cast away, or struck, or yelled at. He had good reason. Iruka made a silent promise to make it up to Kakashi as best he could for how cruel he'd been. "You…want that?"

"Yeah." Iruka didn't hesitate. He'd had plenty of time to think about it that morning, as the drug had dissipated from his system, waiting for Kakashi's return. "I'm still scared… I don't know what to think, but I can't fight my feelings. I certainly don't hate you, I don't think I ever did…" He let his chin drop to the top of Kakashi's head, sighing, wishing he had the strength to use his jutsu. He wanted to see Kakashi, wanted to gauge the man's reactions, but he couldn't. "It was all too much, all at once… I'm so sorry…for everything."

"I don't blame you, Iruka." Kakashi interjected softly.

"I want to give you a better chance." Iruka concluded. "Love is precious, and I can't just cast it away. I can't tell you how I'll feel, Kakashi. I'm still…so confused… but… this…right now…it feels right. Better than anything else ever has."

"…Thank you." There was a pause, and Kakashi shifted slightly against Iruka's chest. It was the sort of tentative, questioning movement that Kakashi had adopted around Iruka. A silent plea, begging for permission to do something he didn't expect Iruka to enjoy. Iruka red all of this clearly, heaving a long, heavy sigh as he dropped his face so that his chin rested against Kakashi's head. The Jounin's hair was surprisingly soft, and he couldn't help but smile just a little bit at the feel. Very slowly, Kakashi lifted his face, kissing the underside of Iruka's jaw even more carefully. Iruka didn't pull away, didn't jump or argue. His skin tingled, and it felt strange, but it was a sweet gesture. He felt his heart swell just a little bit, and he leaned into the touch just a little. Kakashi stretched upwards, placing another gentle kiss on Iruka's cheek. "I love you." He whispered. Iruka smiled.

"I've heard that rumor, yeah," Iruka breathed back, turning against Kakashi just slightly, testing out the feel of his body against the other man's. He hadn't realized how slim Kakashi was. Under the standard nin uniform, Iruka had never really had a good view of the man's figure. Now, dressed down and pressed directly against him, Iruka could feel every defining bone structure and muscle under his palms. He let his hands drift slightly, exploring Kakashi's shoulders, back, and upper arms. He met no resistance, but moved carefully. He was distinctly aware of how easily innocent exploration could be taken for something more. His hands practically vibrated just with the acceptance of touching Kakashi so openly, his breathing just a little too shallow. Kakashi arched slightly, giving a sigh, and Iruka's hands stopped.

"Don't stop…" Kakashi's voice was softer than ever. Iruka couldn't tell from the tone if he was merely encouraging Iruka, or if he wanted more. Very carefully, he let his hand rove from Kakashi's shoulder, down his arm to his wrist. Kakashi's hands were long and as slender as the rest of him. Iruka traced the bones in the back of his hand, felt all the muscles under his touch relax as Kakashi allowed Iruka's fingers to play against his.

"I never realized you were so bony." Iruka said. It wasn't an insult, or a tease, simply an observation, and Kakashi gave a small laugh.

"My Sensei used to give me shit about it all the time. I was even skinnier as a kid. He was always trying to fatten me up with junk food." Iruka laughed a little more at that. "I used to worry about it, but it's just the way I'm built, I guess."

"It's not a bad thing," Iruka said.

"Hah, like 'em bony, huh?" Kakashi teased. Iruka gave a choked sound of protest, and Kakashi gave a low, heartfelt laugh. The sound reverberated off of Iruka's chest, filling him. Oddly, the sound reminded Iruka of a warm, sunny morning.

"Hmm… 's a relief to hear that," Iruka commented sleepily.

"Huh?"

"You laughing. It's been a while."

"I've been pretty messed up, Iruka." Kakashi said sadly.

"I know. I'm sorry."

Kakashi nuzzled Iruka's chest slightly, pulling himself up closer.

"Don't be…it was worth it."

"Really?" Iruka felt embarrassed that the question escaped him. Of course it was worth it: it had to be, or Kakashi would have given up a long time ago.

"Yeah." Definitely.

---------

Naruto crept into Iruka's home. It was entirely silent, and his concern grew. He had the fleeting worry that Kakashi and Iruka had killed each other. That was absurd, but many of the things that crossed Naruto's mind were.

He passed through the front room and the kitchen, and found nothing. Biting his lip, he crept onward down the little hallway to Iruka's bedroom. Finally, as he approached the half-open door, he could hear voices. Low, subdued tones, and a gentle laugh that he almost didn't recognize as Kakashi's. He paused. That was a good sign, right? Unless Kakashi had finally cracked… He shook his head, banishing the thought, and poked his head in through the open doorway.

At first, he wasn't sure what it was he saw, aside from a tangle of fabric, and Kakashi's hair. He blinked, the images of Kakashi and Iruka's figures separating in his brain finally. Kakashi was curled tightly against Iruka, who held him just as firmly, though one hand was grasping Kakashi's lightly. Naruto's breath caught audibly, and on the futon before him, Kakashi jumped and turned suddenly.

"N-Naruto!" Kakashi's eyes were wide with surprise and Naruto realized belatedly that he'd obviously walked in on something.

"Um--! I-I'm sorry," Naruto couldn't help the embarrassed stutter. "I…I just wanted to check on you guys…after… Anou…Is Iruka Sensei okay?" Iruka, who'd pulled guiltily away from Kakashi, nodded.

"I'm fine, Naruto."

"A-And this means you're not mad at Kakashi-Sensei, right?" Naruto said, referring to the chaste, but tender moment he'd walked in on.

"No, Naruto, I'm not mad at him." Iruka said, making an effort to roll his dead eyes. The gesture felt awkward for him, but he knew that it would have meaning to Naruto, who could still see him. "And…if you couldn't tell, we're starting to work things out." Naruto let out a long sigh of relief.

"Oh good," He crossed the room and knelt at Kakashi's back, stooping foreword awkwardly to hug both men at once. "I was scared," Naruto breathed. "for both of you guys."

"Everything's going to be okay." Iruka said, knowing his words would be reassuring not just to Naruto. "But," Iruka went on, "I think we need some alone time." Iruka blushed as he said this, and Naruto sat up, blinking a little, before grinning devilishly at Kakashi.

"Oh! Heh heh. Right!" He stood up. "Take it easy on Kakashi-Sensei! He looks really tired already!"

To Naruto's delight, both men turned bright red all the way to the ears.

"N-NARUTO!" Naruto laughed, and turned for the door.

"Oi," Kakashi recovered first, and stopped the boy. "I need you to do me a favor," Naruto turned again, looking at his sensei curiously. "Go find Gai-Sensei and tell him that Team 7 will be training with his group for a while. I need a vacation."

"EH?! Super Eyebrows!?" Naruto balked.

"And then tell Sasuke-Kun and Sakura-Chan that it's your punishment for fucking around with my and Iruka-Sensei's private lives." He waved a hand at Naruto. "That's all. See you in six months."

"SIX MONTHS?!"

"Goodbye, Naruto-Kun." He turned his back on the door as Naruto stormed through the house in a huff, curling once more against Iruka's chest. "Damn I need a nap…"

"Then sweet dreams, Kakashi." Iruka breathed, relaxing again himself. He sighed as Kakashi melted in his arms happily.

"Yeah. You too."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

AN: OMFG I UPDATED!!! YAAAY!

**AND OMFG IT'S ALMOST OVER!!!!!**

Seriously folks, there's looking to be one, MAYBE 2 chapters more, and that's it.

Where did it all go? Jeez, it seemed, just last chapter, that this fanfic would never end!

With that, I have a few things to say! J

1) if this chapter seemed long, it's not just because it's so muddled and hastily written. XD You got about 10 more for your buck this time. I tried to keep my chapters as consistent in length as I could manage, but this one just wouldn't stop where I would have liked it to. I feel like things dragged on, and it's POORLY EDITED…but alas, I'm tired. I don't feel like running so hard anymore. XD But yes. Quantity over Quality?

2) You're all blessed. My laptop crashed…COMPLETELY. It's dead, muerto, bye bye, sayonara. But-- I managed to keep it alive JUST long enough to save my writing, and my artwork. Everything else is gone….which is why this chapter isn't up three weeks ago. ----,

3) I HAVE DECIDED -- there will be **no lemon **in this fanfic!

Heh. Sorry guys. But this whole story, I've been trying to give it a deeper meaning than just gay lovin' (even though I most CERTAINLY don't have ANYTHING against THAT! J ) and I think at this point, something like that would ruin the mood I've so carefully set.

Maybe someday I'll add in a little interlude or something, as a separate addition to this fanfic, but for now, it's innocent J (Hmm…I wonder if I'll be loosing readers now:shrug: )

4) GREAT THANKS TO THOSE OF YOU WHO'VE BEEN LEAVING **THOUGHTFUL REVIEWS**. You all know I've been working my freaking ass off on this fic, and it was really great to get such wonderful, positive, informative reviews from nearly everyone.

Those of you who simply posted "Yay, Update soon!", "Update!" or "Yay! Update Please!" …I'm sorry, and I'm probably going to make myself sound like a total asshole for saying this, but I just want to _slap the shit out of you_. Honestly, a few friends and I had discussed ways to pull some really mean prank in the content of the story, so that someone was killed off or something, as revenge to soothe my irritation, but that's not fair to all the really great people who've been so good to me. (Besides, at this point, the plot of BLIND is going without me. I can't change it. ) So. I've said my peace.

Thanks to all the considerate reviewers! You're awesome! J


	26. Chapter 26

_**Blind**_

26

The sun had set by the time Naruto finally found Sasuke and Sakura. Ironically, they were at Ichiraku's. All through the snow-caked streets of Konoha, lanterns turned the world a gentle, sparkling gold. Naruto appreciated the beautiful view only distantly, the events of the day cycling through his brain at high-speed. With each individual memory, it's very own emotion came with. Excitement for Iruka and Kakashi and their newfound understanding. Exhaustion and a certain amount of dread for his mission.

He'd already spent most of the afternoon hunting down, and then talking to Maito Gai, and that in itself had been a day's worth of energy, even for Konoha's Number One Hyperactive Ninja. Personally, Naruto didn't have _that_ much of a problem with the overly-enthusiastic be-spandexed hurricane of a man. Furthermore, Naruto rather liked Super Brows Jr., Lee, quite a bit. He almost looked foreword to the six months that would follow. Except for Neiji. And Sasuke's moping, which was bound to only increase steadily the more the gloomy heir was around so much _happy enthusiasm_. Naruto heaved a sigh, thinking over this, as he finally found his teammates.

Stepping into the relative warmth of the little ramen stand, tugging at his snow-soaked cuffs as he did, Naruto dropped onto a stool beside Sakura.

"Maa," He began, wondering exactly how he was going to break the bad news to them.

"Don't do that, you sound like Kakashi," Sasuke said, effectively cutting Naruto off. He sounded tired. Naruto hoped he'd been thinking of overly-elaborate and effective ways to hide from Kakashi all day, just because that would prove to have been a waste of Sasuke's ever precious training time and energy.

"That's the thing," Naruto tried again. "He's mad as hell." That wasn't entirely true, not anymore. Even Naruto wasn't so dense as to notice the instant-calming effect Iruka had had on the other man. But Naruto was a little hurt that his teammates had deserted him so readily earlier, and decided to keep that key detail to himself.

"You didn't notice that sooner?" Sakura asked. She was stirring at her ramen, but not eating. Although she hadn't received the full force of Kakashi's anger, she'd seen enough in the mere seconds she'd been around her sensei. She was shaken, and had already discussed the situation slightly with Sasuke. They had definitely screwed up this time, and she wasn't surprised to hear the news of how obviously angry Kakashi was.

"Oh, I noticed. Thanks for ditching, by the way." Naruto drawled, smiling tiredly as Ayame automatically set down a bowl of ramen for him. "Anyway, he hates us all now and is taking a six month vacation." Naruto was able to keep his voice casual in breaking the bad news, just because he knew that the others would be even more dismayed than he was.

"The hell?!" Sasuke asked. "He can't do that! Who's going to train us?" If Sasuke had known that he'd end up getting dumped off by Kakashi anyway, he would have done things differently. Irritated, he glared at Naruto. As long as it was the just Naruto, Sasuke never minded shooting the messenger.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you idiot!" Naruto countered, irked at how the bastard kept cutting him off. Behind the counter, the shop owner and Ayame turned to look at the blond curiously. "_As_ I was saying- We're officially part of Team Gai for the next six months, according to Kakashi. He says it's our punishment for messing with his and Iruka-Sensei's personal lives."

"No way!" Sakura cried. "Gai has a team, he wouldn't go for that, would he?"

"I've already had to talk to him about it," Naruto said, "He was…thrilled."

The strangled sound of dismay that Sasuke let out was blessedly drowned out by Sakura's outraged scream.

---------

Sasuke didn't like the feeling of desperation, but it was one that he'd grown quite accustomed to in the last fifteen weeks or so.

The first two weeks with Gai had been horrible, the weeks after that, not quite as bad because Team Seven had grown accustomed to the exuberant sensei's antics. Sometime after this, and the team knew because Naruto had heard the words from the horse's mouth itself, so to speak, Kakashi had approached Gai and told him that his students needed to 'get more in touch with their springtime of youth'.

The problem with this was deeper than it first appeared. Team Seven was well aware of the rivalry between Kakashi and Gai--it was impossible to spend more than two seconds with Gai and _not_ know-- but what they _hadn't _known about was the deep level of friendship and camaraderie buried beneath the rivalry.

Gai had been thrilled to find out that Kakashi was attempting to establish a romantic interest, and had sworn on his own _strikingly handsome face_ that he would do for Kakashi whatever was needed to help.

Kakashi, of course, had gladly taken up this offer, and arranged for six months of maximum psychological and physical torture. Afterwards, he had gloated to Naruto during one of the blonde's frequent visits to Iruka. Likewise, Naruto had brought the news to his teammates, still taking way too much pleasure in the weird shades of green that Sasuke tended to turn at the mention of Gai. Shortly after that particular incident, Sasuke had started redirecting his 'vengeance sights' to a new target: Kakashi. This too was smoothly blocked by the devious Jounin when Gai came to training the very next day with a whole book's worth of advice on how to move on from grudges and become a better, more accepting person.

Now, closing in on five months of training with Gai, Lee, Tenten and Neji, Sasuke had decided that he _could not_ take another month of it. Actually, he had decided several weeks ago that he could not take another month and a half of the Green Torture, and had since been plotting his escape. In the meantime, Sakura had developed her skills _frighteningly well_ with weapons, and Lee had given Naruto a bright orange set of spandex, which the blond wore occasionally, but only so after death threats from everyone _except_ Lee and Gai. Sasuke was the only person who'd failed to adapt, at least a little, and therefore suffered the most…

"Guys…" He gasped. He had just run a marathon around Konoha…backwards. He was now slumped against a tree in exhaustion, gasping for breath. His calves burned and he winced, even as Naruto and then Sakura finally caught up. Much to his vexation, Naruto, while winded, seemed mostly nonplussed. "I…I think I got something…"

"If you're referring to your asshole disease, Sasu-baka, we already know about that one." Naruto commented, stretching out where he stood. Sasuke frowned darkly at the new 'nickname' which Neiji had recently adopted as well. Itachi had referred to him by that same nickname, back in the day, and it burned a little too close to home. So of course, he refused to let it show, and suffered the memories in silence.

"NARUTO!" Naruto almost dodged the blow over the head from Sakura, but the kunoichi still managed to strike him across the shoulder, flooring him. "Don't talk like that to Sasuke-kun!" Naruto whimpered, climbing slowly back to his feet, whining in pain.

"I mean…" Sasuke gasped, ignoring the insults and Sakura's shouting, even though he couldn't help but admit to himself that the antics of his teammates were refreshing compared to the constant self-challenges and the _springtime of youth_ blathering from Gai and Lee. "I mean… I have an idea…t-to escape…"

Sasuke was confused when Naruto and Sakura, standing near him now, both grimaced when he said this. He thought they had been as miserable as he had been (which was also a refreshing concept). His confusion was erased seconds later by a boldly outspoken,

"WHY, MY DEAR DARK AND DREARY TEMPORARY STUDENT, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO _ESCAPE_!?"

Gai had gone on to explain rather theatrically how Sasuke didn't understand the springtime of youth because he hadn't gotten enough love as a child and swore to start making up for that loss immediately.

Sasuke had taken most of this as well as could be expected, stony and silent and only twitching a little, until Gai had decided that the best way to fulfill his oath would be to smother Sasuke in spine-snapping hugs.

Kakashi had heard the rattling scream of "Naruto, help me!" echo from across Konoha as he was preparing lunch for Iruka, and gave a laugh.

"Hey 'Dachi, remind me to buy Gai a new set of spandex and a round of drinks later." He had, after all, discussed the possibility of his student's growing desperation, and had scripted that very theatric explanation about Sasuke's nature, for Gai to use as he pleased. The two sensei had taken to getting together every other Friday for sake, and a brainstorming session over ways to terrorize Kakashi's students. It was the most fun Kakashi had had in years.

At his heels, Tomodachi made the canine equivalent of a snorting laughed.

"I'm sure you'll remember fine on your own, Kakashi." Kakashi shrugged, flipping a grilled sandwich. That was probably true.

---------

Iruka straightened up, smiling fondly as a flurry of uncontrolled chakara raised the arm of a child sitting vaguely in front of him.

"Yes, Makoto-Chan?" He had finally been able to start teaching again at the Academy at start of the spring term. Every day he walked those halls, his heart swelled with joy, relief, and pride.

Very few ninja in history had overcome what he had, especially in such a short span of time.

Adjustments had to be made. Every morning, Iruka had to get a helper to help him charge any objects such as inks, and the chalk he wrote with on the huge blackboard at his side, with chakara, so that he could follow his own writing. The children were very accommodating, however. They were aware of how special their Sensei was, and were glad to be helpful. And well behaved. Iruka had been told repeatedly by his fellow teachers that they had heard 'uncanny rumors' of a whole classroom full of well behaved children.

'It's because they can't hide anything from me.' Iruka had said in response. This, too, was very true. Even as he smiled at the girl who'd raised her hand, he pointed silently to a boy in the back who was attempting to aim a spit-wad gun made of rolled-up paper at a classmate. The boy dropped the makeshift weapon instantly, giving a small, guilty laugh.

"Is that your boyfriend?" Little Makoto-Chan asked, ever-so-sweetly.

Behind the hitai-ate sitting over his eyes, Iruka blinked several times in rapid succession, startled by the question. He had no idea where the kids had gotten the idea that Iruka had a _boyfriend_ into their heads. He did note that Makoto had not bothered pointing or indicating a direction. He smiled.

"Time for a little training, kids." Iruka said, effectively dodging the girl's question. "Nobody give anything away. Let's just let Makoto answer my questions. Okay?"

Everyone gave a small murmur of assent.

"Okay. Makoto-Chan. Whoever you see, are you within eyeshot?"

"No, Iruka-Sensei. I'm too far back, I think." The girl supplied. "But he's watching you. I think he can see you, you're right in front of the window."

"Good," Iruka smiled. He took a long step back until his back bumped against the chalkboard softly. "How about now? Why don't you tell me, Hanabi-Chan?"

"He's pouting." The young Hyuuga drawled. Iruka's smile grew brightly.

"Good! So kids, someone out of eyeshot so he doesn't read lips, tell me where he is." The boy who'd had the spit-wad gun raised his hand quickly.

"Yes?" Iruka said, nodding in his direction.

"He's out in the swing-tree, on the lower, right-side branch." Iruka nodded, and stretched out, ever-so slightly. He could barely make out the slightly stronger glow of chakara among the life of the tree. He didn't dare touch more than feather-light, if it was actually Kakashi like he suspected.

"One more question. What does this person look like?"

"SLOPPY!" Several kids said at once. Iruka laughed.

"And one droopy eye!"

"And fluffy hair!"

"And he's got this orange book in his hand."

…Iruka's lip twitched, irritation mounting.

That was Kakashi alright.

_Will he ever quit?!_ Iruka smiled brightly.

"Okay kids, we're gunna play a game. The man you're describing is a very high-ranking Jounin. But lets see if we can get the drop on him." Iruka went on, making sure he was still out of eyeshot of the tree outside. "So here's what we'll do. We're going to go back to lessons, and in a bit, we'll see if I can get him, how's that?"

"Yeah!" The chorus of excited cheers fueled a devious side of Iruka that usually stayed squashed away. Oh, he hoped he could pull this off.

"Good. Would you all look to your left then, no, your _other left_ Kei, and examine the diagram of standard chakara flow through the human body. I'm going to quiz you guys on the main meridians next week so pay attention." He walked as he spoke, stepping blithely back into Kakashi's view, appearing for all the world, utterly oblivious. "Have any of you figured out how to sense things through chakara like I showed you last week?" He made a few seals, channeling his chakara strongly enough that it's circulation would be visible to the naked eye. "Can you all see the strong points around my body? You start your chakara circulation by focusing on those parts. You'll feel it, it's warm and tingly." He smiled a little at how dumb, but true, the description was. "In fact, it's quite warm. Hanabi-Chan, would you go and open a window for me please?" He smiled as he watched the Hyuuga girl go and open the window that gave the cleanest shot out towards Kakashi. She was a bright girl, regardless of her clan's reputation. "_Thank_ _you_. Now pull out your own diagrams and start labeling those points, using the big one on the wall as a guide." He stepped back to the chalk board and started listing the meridian points. As he passed his desk, heading back towards the window, he picked up a pencil, sliding it behind his ear deftly. "Okay kids, now watch how fast good chakara control can make a startled Jounin move!" The second he was within the opening, Iruka let his Second Sight Jutsu branch out in a rapid burst, even as he pulled the pencil out from behind his ear, and flung it fiercely out the window.

There was a low _tack_ as the pencil struck wood, lead-end first, and a startled yelp, the rustling of May-green leaves, and a dull thump. The pencil had imbedded itself into an inch of branch, a hairs breadth away from Kakashi's face. Kakashi, who'd leapt backwards in his shock, dropped to the ground almost gracelessly, and now stood looking stunned at Iruka through the open schoolhouse window. He stuffed his book away in a pouch at his hip, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment, clearly caught.

"If you're that interested in my class, Kakashi-San, why don't you come in?" Iruka shouted over the peals of laughter roaring out from his entire class. He stepped back as Kakashi approached the window, and eventually climbed into the classroom. He straightened up, clearing smiling through his mask at Iruka. Iruka sighed as the expectant silence stretched. "Is there something you _need_, Kakashi-San?" The hair was standing up on the back of Iruka's neck, and he suddenly he wished he hadn't asked.

"Why yes, in fact there is!" Kakashi chirped. Iruka had been hearing that mischievous pitch to the other man's voice a lot lately, and it always made him worry. He frowned.

"Hey Mister! Are you Iruka-Sensei's boyfriend?!" Someone yelled. Iruka twitched, irritation growing. He turned towards his class.

"Now just _where_ did you children get that type of idea?!" A few giggled at his reaction, and Iruka sighed heavily.

"Maa…If I'm lucky," Kakashi began, "He'll agree to go on a date with me tonight, and he will be!" Iruka spun back around to face Kakashi. He'd almost dropped his jutsu in his shock.

"WHAAT?!" In retrospect, Iruka realized, he probably should have seen this coming. It was just like Kakashi to corner him in front of a bunch of children who didn't think much about what might be bent or straight, only saw a funny man asking their beloved sensei out for a date. He made a silent oath to get Kakashi back someday, momentarily forgetting the prank he'd just pulled on the Jounin.

"Would you go out to dinner with me?" Kakashi asked, ignoring Iruka's outburst, but also sobering his tone.

"What?" Iruka's heart staggered, and behind him, his entire class had virtually disappeared, utterly silent.

"You know…go out…somewhere nice…?" Kakashi said, lower still. "Just…us…"

"Kakashi, you _live_ with me. Aren't you sick of me yet?" Iruka asked honestly. He felt a little dizzy.

"You know this means more, Iruka." Kakashi said. "I mean…I'll understand if you don't want…like that…" Iruka flushed. They'd been hit and miss for nearly six months in a sort of in-between excuse for a relationship that had been beginning to stagnate recently. There were no concrete words to describe what was happening between them, and Iruka realized that this was Kakashi's way of solidifying what could be between them. He thought this over quickly, thinking of all the moments, almost awkward, almost wonderful, and generally uncomfortable because neither of them knew what to do about it. There was an expectant silence from all around him from his students, and standing before him, Kakashi's chakara churned in anticipation. Iruka smiled.

"Sure. But you're going to have to help me find something nice to wear."

------------------------------------

AN: That's it! Show's over!

and _whoo_ gawd I'm so happy it's over. I'm really proud of this fanfic, and I'm amazed that I've managed to stick through it, especially during the last year...life got rough for a while, and then it got busier than hell, and I'm really sorry to everyone for how long it's taken me to finish these last three or four chapters. I could have done it sooner, probably, but I was really loosing the will to keep going at the end here. It wasn't so much that I lost inspiration or whatever (it sure as hell wasn't writer's block) but I ran out of energy. I've mentioned this before, but the irony is just so striking that I'll say it again: I'd originally planned this story to be about a 9-12 page one-shot.

Oh. Mah. Freaking. Gawd.

Never have I been so wrong in my life.

So, two and something years, 207 pages of text, and a SHITLOAD of reviews later, here we are, at the end.

This chapter is a little below my standards in both length and flow, but I was making a lot of awkward little time skips and whatnot, and I probably could have dragged this on for another 2 or 3 pages if I really wanted to, but it ended HERE. I've had this ending in mind from day one (in fact, I thought of the ending almost before the rest of the fic!) and so I stagger and slouch my way to the finish line.

and fall into a dead faint.

It's going to feel weird not feeling guilty about not updating for a while XD Although there already are several other (hopefully)smaller projects in the works that'll be coming up pretty soon. :)

That said,

_**OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH TO /EVERYONE/ THAT'S READ AND REVIEWED AND FUELED MY ATTENTION-WHORISHNESS YOU GUYS ARE WONDERFUL! **_

**Generally, I don't actually like much praise on my art/writing because I get embarrassed, but this project has been my BABY and it'll probably be years before I put this much effort into a piece of writing again, and I'm so proud and so confident in what I've done and I'm so thirlled that my pride is VALIDATED by all of you who've been so positive and supportive!**

**Fact! Despite the slightly controversial premise of the story (being Yaoi) and well over 1000 reviews (I'm dizzy..) I have NOT RECIEVED A SINGLE FLAME! Not one! Constructive criticisim (and thank you for that too!) yes, but no flames! None! So wonderful!**

**THANK YOU EVERYONE!**

**Also** Please note to those of you following my Deviantart works as well, that I'll be posting this fanfic there now, as well, in as few incriments as possible (ie, one huge chunk of goodness if I can) now that this is finished...as soon as I can come up with some preview art for it (since that's required now : )

See you all in the next fanfic!

MRE


End file.
